Chapter Twenty-Two

Getting To Work

Professor Elvin Gadd was sitting at his desk in his lab, staring out the window as he thought of his next invention. He didn't remember every invention he had on the drawing board, but he often thought about the Poltergeist that Luigi had used plenty of times during ghost-busting adventures in the past.

The professor set aside his trip down memory lane and stood up, deciding to get a drink. He was just about to get some tea when he heard a knocking on the door, indicating the arrival of visitors.

E. Gadd looked outside, seeing a van parked in front of his lab. He hadn't had visitors in some time, someone wanted something from him and it must have been important. Another knock came and the professor went to get the door, finding Mario on the other side with a near regretful expression in his eyes.

"Mario...?" E. Gadd asked.

To the professor's shock, the plumber raised a Nintendo Zapper, pointing it right at his face with shaking hands. E. Gadd could not believe what was happening, he was being held at gun point by Mario, who was apparently getting ready to shoot him.

"I'm sorry..." Mario whimpered.

"You don't have to do this." E. Gadd begged.

Too late.

The trigger was pulled and a flash filled the room. Professor E. Gadd dropped to the ground, motionless. Mario put away the Nintendo Zapper, looking down at the professor with regret, just as Luigi White entered the room. The professor was still alive, just incapacitated.

Luigi surveyed the lab, looking at all of the equipment, and set down the suitcase he was carrying that was full of important equipment from the van.

"This will do." Luigi said, "We'll start here. It's time to get to work, we know what to do, all of those fire-walled Pisanos out there waiting for their minds to be freed with the bite of a meme, there can be no delaying or any missteps. Our plan must advance before the executives of Nintendo cut down on our operation."

Complying with his brother, Mario began rearranging E. Gadd's equipment and started assisting Luigi in setting up the meme science materials without hesitating for a minute.

When E. Gadd recovered, Luigi made sure to notify him that the Mario Brothers were borrowing his lab, which ended up meaning that the professor was Luigi's hostage. Once everything was set up, the memes went into production, one Robotnik Head after another.

Mario and Luigi went over whom they would be dispensing the memes too, the first person they had on the list was their friend Fishy Boopkins. However, due to Fishy's status as a Spike, this meant that he'd been canonized by the firewall and was somewhere out there in the crowd that was Bowser's army.

Mario and Luigi set off across the Mushroom Kingdom's countryside, looking around for a sign of a Spike. They saw Koopas and Goombas here and there, but there weren't any Spikes.

They eventually bumped into a friendly Koopa, who pointed them where to go and where they would find whom they were looking for: Koopa-Pack Stadium, located a few miles west of Mushroom City.

And without a minute to lose, the Bros headed there and Mario made his way to the grandstands where a pack of Bowser's minions were watching a Koopa Soccer game in progress. And, to the plumber's luck, a Spike was sitting on the right side of the stands as he and the others watched as a team of Koopas kicked around a ball.

Fishy Boopkins located, dispensing meme.

Mario quietly placed the basket of Robotnik Heads near the Spike and walked away just before the little green guy noticed. Boopkins noticed the basket of treats and eyed it curiously, then he decided to help himself to something tasty and began munching on the memes. In no less than a second, the Spike's eyes rolled and his pupils widened, a whole slew of memories flooding back into his mind.

"Wha...? Where am I?" Fishy Boopkins remarked, "JubJub? Papa? Oh no, I got to find Mario, what am I doing here?"

Boopkins left the stadium and found the Mario Brothers, happily expressing his relief that they were alright, even though he was questioning why Luigi looked so different.

With Boopkins down, the next individual on the list was the Spike's friend, a certain shady and foul-mouthed ex-rapper whose appearance and species was well known; the Garo known as Bob Bobowski.

However, Garos were not known to wander the Mushroom Kingdom. Recalling Zelda logic and where to find someone from The Legend of Zelda, Mario and Luigi headed to the forests of Hyrule and accessed the passageway to Termina before making their way to Ikana Valley.

Ikana was an eerie location, full of ghosts and ruins. Mario managed to nab a Garo Mask to help find any Garo in particular, to help them find the Garo that was Bob.

A fairy accompanied the brothers and, when they came up on a particular spot, the fairy warned them that there was a thirst for blood in the air. Mario slapped on the Garo Mask and Luigi prepared the meme dispenser. A good many seconds later, a Garo appeared out of thin air and began looking around.

"Master, you called?" The Garo asked.

'There he is…' Mario removed the mask.

It was then that the Garo, Bob, looked at the brothers and pulled out one of his swords. "You are not my master." The Garo said, "What are you?"

"NOW!" Luigi yelled.

Mario pounced on the Garo and pinned him to the ground, Luigi White stepped in with the meme and fed it to the robed warrior. Mario kept the Garo down long enough for Luigi to do his job, watching as the not-so mysterious creature gobbled down the Robotnik Head. The Garo's eyes then widened and his body shrunk, then the Garo reverted to his regular stance and looked at the plumbers.

"Oh HeY, gUys, HoW's It GoInG tOdAy?!" Bob asked in his near-robotic monotone, "ThAt WaS wEiRd, BoOpKiNs AnD I WeRe HaViNg A cAmPoUt WhEn We SaW aN oDd LiGhT In ThE SkY aNd ThEn BoOpKiNs AcTeD VeRy FuNnY aNd SpAt A sPiKe At Me, ThEn I HaD aN OdD HeAdAcHe AnD EvErYtHiNg WeNt BlAnK AfTeR ThAt..."

"Long story!" Mario explained, "We'll tell you on the way."

"What's important is that Nintendo seeks to separate our friends and prevent us from hanging out with SMG4 ever again." Luigi told Bob, "Now that you're in our party again, you and Boopkins will be needed with dispensing memes across the Mushroom Kingdom."

Bob lightened up, "YoU wAnT mE tO sElL mEmEs? NoW wE'rE tAlKiNg ReAl bUsInEsS, yOu ArE tAlKiNg To A mAsTeR dEalEr. JuSt TeLl Us WhAt To Do, I cAnNoT wAiT tO StArT SeLlInG IlLeGaL ShIt."

"CaNcEr, GeT yOuR cAnCeR!"

"Memes, we have memes here!"

Bob and Boopkins were at the front counter, giving out memes to many customers, Toads, humans, Goombas and Koopas, one batch of customers after another and one load of Robotnik Heads after the next.

They'd taken over one of the local restaurants and turned it into a meme-store, but made sure to disguise it as a restaurant, one secretly operated by the Mario Brothers. Luigi stood at the window of E. Gadd's lab as the business continued, they'd made swift progress in dispensing memes to many of the Mushroom Kingdom's citizens.

Their operation wouldn't be enough to take down the Firewall, but acceptable progress had been made and the brothers were scoring a heap-ton of cash by the hour.

'We're done when I say we're done.' Luigi thought.

An explosion erupted, shaking the laboratory, and Mario yelped. A smoking wheelchair collapsed outside, but Luigi ignored it. As long as the results were positive, as long as they made acceptable progress, nothing else mattered other than taking down Lawyer Kong and his team...