Calleigh collapsed against the bathroom wall after having vomited everything left in her stomach. The pain from each convulsion is starting to mix with the constricting of her chest. She knows exactly what this is, it's not the first time it's happened. She was having another panic attack. Something that has been happening more frequently especially since they got back from Key West. She found herself getting dizzy with each struggling breath. With the last of her strength she gets up to find her inhaler. She was sure she didn't need it but holding it gave her some type of comfort.
Back in the room, she tries her best not to wake Esteban. Still asleep, he turned at the sound of her fumbling for the medicine.
Running back into the bathroom, she starts the shower and crouches in the corner, the steam helping to relieve the dizziness. But her inner turmoil was boiling over… finally. Between the faking happiness, lying to the team, to Eric and the constant sexual assault of Esteban, she was bound to snap anyway. And now innocent people were being harmed because she couldn't control her is the same as when she was a child where she was up late at night hearing her parents argue, feeling as if she had to put a front on so they wouldn't think they were affecting her. Only to break down hysterically by herself when things got too heavy for her. Each day looked less promising than the one before it.
Esteban was jerked awake suddenly. Looking at the clock he could see it wasn't even half past two am. Why did I?.. It was then he noticed that Calleigh wasn't in the bed and then he noticed the shower running, but then the whimpering and sobs reached his conscience. He knows using the team and his playtime would affect her and keep her from stepping out of line, but the crying surprises him. She's been keeping herself level for so long, she's bound to snap.
Getting up, he made his way to the bathroom to see what's going on. Looking in, his heart breaks. She was in the fetal position in the corner of the shower, rocking herself for what he assumes is comfort. She was smaller than he's ever seen, her eyes unseeing and face flushed from the steam. Stepping into the shower, he turns it off and crouches down to her level. SHe still hasn't noticed his presence. Choosing not to shake her out whatever reverie she was in, he gently leads her to stand. "C'mon Leigh, let's get you back to bed." She made no response. He gathers her in his arms and grabs a towel on his way back. Sitting her on the bed, he dries her off and hopes she snaps back to reality.
"You're okay Leigh, you're safe. Come, raise your arms." she still wasn't moving. Heading for a drawer and getting a large tshirt for her to wear. Like a small child, he guides her arms through the sleeves and it's when he's laying her back onto the bed that she snaps back. "No!" she screams loudly and he jumps back. He's completely unsure what to do. She, still unseeing, tries to run out and is mumbling incoherently and not wanting to hurt her, he snags her and puts her in a bear hug. "Leigh calm down!" he isn't exactly sure what to do at all.
She starts to fight harder, kicking her legs out and throwing her head back to try and headbutt him. He trips and falls and she scrambles out his arms, at his wits end he manages to catch up to her and put her in a leg lock. Pain shoots through his ankle and he flinches for a moment before rolling over and tackling her. Not wanting to bring attention from neighbors, he covers her screaming mouth with his hand and has to keep himself straight as she sinks her teeth into his hand. She's one hell of a spitfire, he can give her that. With no other option, he uses his other hand to cut off circulation by placing his fingers over her artery and vein. And for the next 30 seconds, they stay in this position until she faints from lack of blood flow. ONce limp, he drags her to the bed. Heading to a drawer, he brings out a syringe and drug to put her down once she wakes back up. HOpefully she won't be in fight or flight mode. That was terrifying, maybe she reached a limit? I'll have to look back and see what led up to this.
Calleigh then groans and starts to move which causes Esteban to be on his toes. Opening her eyes, she's unfocused for just a second. Her eyes fill with tears as the pain from their tussle makes itself apparent. "What?.." comes her weak voice and he is quick to comfort her.
"You had a…moment. Likely a panic attack. Shhh bebe, I'm going to give you something to relax." he says as he runs a hand up and down her arm. She moves to sit up and he lets her despite knowing she needs to be laying down. Her hand shoots up to her head and he sees the bruises appearing on her alabaster skin.
"I- I don't want anything." She turns to look at him and his heart breaks. Moving to her direct side, his hand shoots up and fingers the bruises on her neck as well. She doesn't flinch but is clearly confused. " I had a panic attack?"
He knows how much she values control and knows lying wouldn't do well. "Yea, you lashed out and I had to knock you out. But this is a sedative so you can head back to sleep, we'll speak about it when you're ready. But you need to go to sleep. Give me your arm." She looks at him deeply, calculating her options.
"I'm not sure what happened. I woke up to go to the bathroom and now I'm back here. That's never happened to me before." she starts shaking and he gathers her into his arms. Running a hand through her hair, he rocks her gently.
"It happens to the best of us. Don't worry, it'll be okay. I'm right here when you're ready. Or you can speak to Papi."
It seems Calleigh's made a complete 180 from before because she borrows into his arms, accepting the comfort. She sticks her arm out and he administers the sedative before she could change her mind.
Horatio in this office is getting ready for the day when his phone rings. Seeing Calleigh's name appear gives his heart a jump. "Ma'am?" he answers
"Hey Horatio, I'm sorry for not calling earlier but I'm not going to make it today."
Her voice sounds detached and low.
"Are you okay ma'am? You don't sound unlike yourself"
"Yea, it's my lungs again. I had a hard time sleeping. They started me on some new meds and I'm having an adverse effect"
It must be one hell of an effect for her to be calling out like this.
"No problem ma'am, take off until Monday. I'd rather you at 100%. So don't worry, it's slow here. We're looking over the Trujillio/Barnes case, which you aren't on. If need be and you're able, is it okay if you can overlook any tool marks?" he heard her chuckle.
"Afraid I'll try and come in anyway? Alright. Send the files to email, I'll get back to you later after a nap. Good luck and hope I can help."
"Of course ma'am. Get some rest."
Retrieving the files, he gets ready to send them off. It's strange really. Trujillo's husband, Michael, was found dumped in parts. Seemed someone got revenge for the "supposed" killings of Trujillio and Barnes. Maybe it was Barnes's pimp, whomever that is. Rubbing his eyes, Horatio prepares himself for another long day.
Back in the house Calleigh rolls out of bed with a groan, hopefully sleep can come soon after this bathroom trip. She has no idea what was given to her, but she was happy she got it. Hopefully she won't need it again. Walking into the bathroom, she was shocked to see two bruises on each side of her neck. FIngering the bruises she also spots bruises on her upper arms. She vaguely remembers Esteban saying he had to knock her out, but did that mean she fought him?
After relieving herself, she heads back into bed. Looking out the huge windows onto the shoreline, she can't help but overthink the previous night. She knows the stress got to her, but why is she so sore? And why the bruises? Maybe she should ask, he'd probably want to know what's going on. It was only when she hears the door open that she throws the covers over herself and pretends to still be asleep.
She can hear him as he walks over to her, feel the covers pull over her and him staring at her hard. He checks her pulse and pulls her eyelid back and that's what ruined her jig. He had shone a penlight in her eyes and she groans. "Are you pretending to sleep?" he asks with a chuckle.
Sitting up, she gives him a sheepish look. He sits down next to her and runs his hands on her neck, brushing past the bruises he most likely left. "I'm sorry, i didn't want to be so rough but you went crazy." lifting his hand away he shows her the bandage.
"I did that? I bit you? What happened?"
"You were in the middle of an attack and tried to run. Damn near did. Knocking you out was my only option." she couldn't help but feel a bit of victory in this. Might not remember what happened but I'll always remember this feeling right now.
"I'm sorry Esteban, I should've had a better handle on my emotions."
"It's alright Leigh, just get your rest. I'm staying home today and tomorrow we'll head to the estate."
"Eric and Horatio are very protective of me, I should probably head to my house for the weekend. In case they stop by."
"That makes sense. After you wake back up from your nap we'll go."
Calleigh groans at him inviting himself, so much for space, nevertheless she lays back down and hopes to find sleep quickly.