hey guys sorry I didn't post for idk how long but I have had a lot of problems with school and my anxiety but still I'm back -tian ps this chapter is based on a idea from City_of_socialmedia they have really helped me with this story so thank you also this chapter had a lot of swearing in you have been warned: updated on the 27/12/2020

previously I fell into a dreamless sleep

Jace's pov

I awoke after Jocelyn woke me saying, 'They're here Jace.' It was what already felt like clockwork I get hugged or kissed on the cheek from Alec, Magnus and Izzy. It had only been a day since Clary woke up for the third time this week, she was still asleep when they came yesterday. One of the nurses said that she might be a little tired, I dont understand how strong she is being it's like she hasn't got it, but we know she's just putting up a act. I don't know why my Clary has this illness she doesn't deserve it. I'm trying so hard to stay strong but it's hurting me to see her like this, in pain all the god dam time. The nurse who was flirting with me again honestly she knows my girlfriend is in the room next to where I am why on hells earth is she fucking hitting on me said that Clary is going to be able to come home again. One night I over heard Jocelyn and Luke talking about maybe moving into the institute so I can be with Clary. Magnus had gone in and was talking to her I don't know what was said but he made her smile at least.

Magnus' pov ( when he was talking to Clary)

"I'm going in to Clary's room to speak to her I'll be back in a bit guys." I spoke and got up. Before I went into the room I gave Alec a kiss.

"Magnus I'm sorry for not telling you." That was the first thing she said when I entered the room I want to so badly help her get better but I can't just like I couldn't hold the tears in anymore. I rushed over to her and hugged her I felt a wet sensation (not like that) on my shirt, she must have been crying too, "Biscuit, why are you sorry you put us before yourself again." I said tapping my finger on her nose. She mumbled something but I didn't hear her as her crying had made it inaudible, "What was that Biscuit?"

"I should have told you Magnus." She said with a shaky voice. I hugged her until I thought of something that might make her cheer up.

"What we should be talking about is when you and Jace are getting married?" She pulled away from me with pupils the size of grapes.

"The hell you talking about Magnus. If anything we should be talking about when you're going to ask Alec to marry you not me and Jace." She hissed jokingly.

"Shut up, he's right outside Clary. Any way how did you know?" I asked her,

"Well when you came in I saw a bulge on the side of your leg and you beamed with glee and sadness. I gathered the glee was because you and Alec were getting engaged." She said playing with her fingers. I always found that cute she always did it when she was trying to avoid something or she was nervous about something. God I swear if you take this Fucking angel I will personally make sure you suffer, she doesn't deserve this illness. When I came to the hospital after Jace had rung Alec I was with him we were making out obvi but I would never have thought that Clary was this ill,

-flashback-

Alec kissed me passionately, we were in his room making out when his phone started to buzz,

"Leave it." I said in between kisses.

"What if it's Izzy calling me about a mission or something." He answered with an annoyed tone, "Hello?" He had put the phone on speaker.

"Hi Alec it's me Jace." Jace sounded upset?

"I know who it is dipshit, what's wrong Jace?" He asked,

" It. it's Clary. She's been rushed to the hospital I need you Magnus and Izzy to get here now please?" Jace spoke. He sounded so broken Alec looked at me with fear before I spoke

"We'll be there in a bit ok Jace hang in there." Jace ended the call Alec had already gotten up and ran out the door to get Izzy but little did we know how sick Clary was.

-flashback ends-

She's sitting in front of me and I barley recognise her. She's so goddamm pale her hair is falling out. Of all people in this cruel world you chose this Fucking angel who has saved this world so many fucking times fuck you god. Why her she doesn't deserve this.

"Magnus are you ok. You zoned out for a little there?" She sounded confused.

"I'm fine biscuit, do not worry about me just focus on getting bett-" I was cut off by her crying. I pulled her in for another hug whilst she rambled on.

"Magnus what if I don't live. If I leave you and everyone behind. What if I'm not strong enough? What if What if I." She couldn't finish her sentence because she let out a sob.

"What if? What do you mean biscuit your one of the strongest people I know. So don't even fucking think for a moment that you will die you wont ok your stronger than you know." I finished with tears flowing down my cheek. She looked up at me and wiped them away from my face, "I'm the one who's supposed to be looking after you not you looking after me." I laughed. She started to yawn it was only then I realised how long we had spent talking. We had been talking for a good 3 hours no wonder why she was sleepy "Clary why don't you get some rest?" I asked her. She nodded and laid down. I tucked her in like I use to when Jocelyn use to bring her to my apartment for the potion. I know I said I regretted it but I dont because if I didn't I would never had met her. She had fallen asleep almost instantly. When i left the room I told Jace. He went in her room most probably to watch her sleep. God how they make such a cute couple.