Once upon a time the penthouse might have been the landlord's home. It was larger than the rest, the entire floor save the entrance corridor after all, with a full kitchen and living room. P.A.M. was rattling off numbers to Drummer Boy in a secluded area that he immediately shut the door to, granting them privacy. Most of the place was covered in strategic information, from data on who was on what op to potential threats. Tessa was a bit pleased to see Sanctuary listed as a safe haven. Following Desdemona towards an office space, Tessa was a bit surprised when they didn't sit down in the chairs and instead walked out onto a balcony.

Fresh air that carried the promise of rain filled her lungs, and Tessa looked to Desdemona who gave her a smile. Desdemona sat down in a ratty old chair with an ashtray next to it, and Tessa joined her in the other. Immediately Desdemona pulled out a cigarette from her pocket, lit it, and took a drag. "Join me?"

"Sure." Tessa took the one Desdemona offered, and they both smoked silently for a few minutes. She could see all the way towards the old CIT ruins from here, though a few taller buildings threatened to block the view. Still, it was impossible to miss the green radiation clouds that hung around the ruins of the Institute. An ache formed in her chest and she sighed ruefully.

"Sure is a lot of shit we've been through, huh?" Desdemona started.

"Yeah."

"A lot of shit I made you do too," Desdemona added, looking over at her. "I just want to come out and say it, I'm sorry."

"You didn't make me join," argued Tessa. "That was my choice, and it was my choice to keep working with you after I got into the Institute."

Desdemona shrugged. "Sure, it definitely was. But who's the one who made the plans that caused so much death, and asked you to pull the trigger because she couldn't?"

Tessa frowned, crinkling the heavy freckles across her nose. "I had special access in both cases. If someone else could have, wouldn't you have asked them?"

A ring of smoke flitted through the air, and then Desdemona shrugged. "I suppose so, yes. But what happened is what happened. We made our choices and the synths are freed, the Brotherhood of Steel are tech scavvers, and the Institute is mostly blown up or dead."

"We also finally made an ally out of the remnants of the Institute," Tessa countered, trying to focus on the positives.

"Something that would have been absolutely impossible if not for you. Let's be real here Grey, we owe an awful lot to you. I'm not the kind to dismiss group effort, but none of this would have happened if not for you."

Tessa tucked her head, focusing instead on the irradiated hell hole in the center of the Commonwealth. She could still remember how it felt when the reactor went off from Mass Fusion. The radiation that had seared into her body, the screaming noise that made her ears bleed, the hands that had tried to force her into shelter. She could also remember Desdemona's relief at her arrival just moments before the explosion. Throughout it all, from her recruitment to the end of the line, Desdemona had been there.

"So are you proud of all we've done?"

"Ultimately? Yes. Everything? No." Desdemona took a ragged drag and settled herself. "I don't know if you saw it on your way up, but there's a memorial in the commons. I asked Sam for some help on it, actually. He's pretty artistic, believe it or not."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. It's dedicated to everyone who lost their lives during our war, from the first Railroad agent to give their life… to the scribes who were sacrificed for the good of the Commonwealth."

Tessa sat up straighter, and stared at Desdemona. The afternoon light cast shadows over her as they faced west, making her look a bit exhausted and gaunt. Still, her hair burned that ever present dark ginger hue, beautiful and intense. She looked better than the months leading up to and directly after the Institute Battle however. "Everyone?"

"Minutemen included. I know it's a private place but… it's something isn't it?"

"Yeah," Tessa said softly, voice lost for a bit. "It is. It means a lot to me, too."

Desdemona nodded, and took a long drag. "Most of all I regret the Brotherhood kids. Sam talks to Tom alot about them, helps him cope with everything. I've listened to it a few times. It hurts, getting to know children I doomed."

"I see Sam is still around."

"He likes it here," she replied, smiling now. "Reminds me of a Sam I used to have." Tessa arched a brow and she chuckled ruefully. "My little brother, a whole decade younger than me. He died a bit before I joined the Railroad in '72. He would've been 14, if Gen-One synths hadn't cut him down while he was scavenging somewhere that should have been safe."

"Dez…" Tessa whispered, and offered her a hand. Desdemona hesitated before she took it. Calloused fingers gently held equally calloused ones, the softness long since worn away from both of them. What harsh lives they had lived. Tessa's heart sped a bit faster at the touch. "I'm so sorry. Is that… What made you join?"

"Yeah. At first it was all about stopping the Institute, but over the next few years I learned what it was really about; the synths. That's the only thing that truly mattered. Protecting your people."

Tessa gave a sigh. "That's what I thought after I learned the truth about Shaun. I couldn't get my… son back anymore, but I could save them."

"Exactly," Desdemona squeezed her hand. "Guess I was right after you first woke up in the Imperial then, huh?"

Tessa chuckled as she took back her hand. "Yeah, guess you were." They both paused to smoke, though Tessa didn't ask for another when her cigarette had run its course. Desdemona instead, lit a second. "You know you should be careful with these things, right?"

"Bad habit I suppose," Desdemona conceded. "Started after my brother died."

"That's a long time to be smoking."

"Over a decade… Over fifteen years even. I've fought for that long for the synths, and it still feels unreal to me that the war is finally over and we finally get to do the cleanup. Oh sure, there'll always be another battle, but I can actually show my face without fear anymore."

Tessa gestured to the balcony. "That's why we're out here?"

"That and Drummer Boy hates the smell of my cigarettes, finally told me after five years of working together!" She laughed softly, eyes distant for a few moments. Then she focused on Tessa, remorse practically all Tessa could see. "There's a lot of things about the past I can't change."

Tessa sighed. "I guess that goes for the both of us."

"Do you think we'll get into heaven?" Desdemona mused softly. "Do you believe in all that? I know religion was pretty big pre-war."

"I'm surprised whenever I meet someone who genuinely believes," replied Tessa, "I still do. Old Tessa was a firm believer, and I find it comforting nowadays. Maybe even if a man made me, God will still accept my soul."

"As long as I don't end up in hell, I'll be happy," Desdemona replied, her mood steadily souring. "Some days I doubt it. Not with everything I've done."

"Ends don't justify the means then?" Tessa inquired.

"Not always."

They grew silent, letting it pass peacefully between them as they thought about such topics. "Can't believe I'm forty now," Desdemona whispered out. "Feels like it's been a hundred years since I was a kid, and also like the years have gone by in a blur."

"Looking pretty damn good for forty, especially with the amount of stress you've had in your life. Though I suppose you could rock a silver fox look too." Tessa let her eyes roll over Desdmona, taking in her toned arms and matured frame.

"Don't flatter me," Desdemona blushed. "You're lucky you'll never even look thirty."

Tessa gave a cheeky smile. "Suppose so. There are some perks of being a synth afterall."

"I'm sure," Desdemona chuckled. Her laughter felt more genuine this time, instead of rueful. "I remember how much synths scared me when I first learned about them, but back then they were just starting to make Gen-Threes. To think a decade or so later I'd have loved a few."

Tessa blinked, and then softly asked. "Glory?" She could only be certain of one. There had been much gossip before the Brotherhood's attack that killed the heavy agent. The image of the dark skinned synth bleeding out as Tessa desperately tried to save her filled Tessa's mind. Tears had burned in Desdemona's eyes that night, and in the Imperial after. There was no doubt in her mind who that synth could be.

Desdemona sighed. "Yup. Everything felt possible with her. I really turned the Railroad around when I took over in '77. We finally started rescuing synths, people died less often, we established layers of security and secrecy that kept us alive. I made the railsigns. After the disaster at the Switchboard, we couldn't afford to be found out like that again. The Railroad nearly died that day. We went a decade without trouble, and then there were repeated incidents."

Tessa's heart clenched. "I'm sorry that I helped cause those. The Institute might not have found us at the Imperial if it weren't for my Pip-Boy." She truly did regret the lives that had been lost in both of those attacks. Perhaps the Brotherhood would have found the old church headquarters eventually, but she undoubtedly helped break that final straw. She pictured Glory slowly bleeding in her arms again once more, and struggled not to cry. They had become good friends before her death.

"If it weren't for you though, we wouldn't have finally ended the war," Desdemona replied, holding her hand this time. Tessa blinked in shock. "Glory may be gone, but I know she's proud of what we've accomplished. We've gone from hiding in a crypt, to being a part of the Wasteland again. That's all thanks to you, ultimately."

"I haven't done anything special Dez," she tried to dismiss.

"Yes, you have. You gave us the keys we needed, the opportunities to save all the synths, but above all… you gave us hope."

Tessa studied their clasped hands, thumb idly rubbing Desdemona's half gloved fingers. She gave a small smile. "Good outweighs the bad then?"

"Sometimes," Desdemona smiled.

"Even the fact that I punched you?"

Desdemona cringed, and rubbed her cheek with her free hand. "Well, even that. You punched me because I deserved it. Because I told you to do something I wish I never had to. Yet I still did it. Now I live with that fact, and accept that I'm sometimes an awful person."

Tessa frowned. Even knowing she often thought of herself that way for what she'd done, having been willing to condemn herself to a lie of a life in the Institute, it hurt to hear Desdemona say it. "Maybe one day you can be more good than bad," she suggested softly. "Maybe one day the both of us can?"

Desdemona blinked, before a small smile crept across her face. "Maybe."

"Do you think in the end everything will be alright?" Tessa inquired. "If I was so critical then, will it actually be okay that I leave?"

"No matter what you're our ally, and if we really need your help, can we ask for it, General?"

"To the best of my ability," Tessa vowed.

"Then, yes. I think we'll be okay. We've got new recruits inspired by what we've done, others who have true experience under their belts now, and some old vets who feel renewed. This new space is especially useful, truth be told."

"How's it feel to finally have your own bedroom?" Tessa snickered.

Desdemona leaned back and took a long drag. Tessa's hand felt cold as Desdemona retreated, a strange sensation filling her chest. "Splendid. P.A.M. is as quiet as the night when I lay down to sleep. It's taking some getting used to, to be honest, but no more someone shuffling out to take a piss or coughing on a cot. Carrington actually had to come and wake me up the first time, I overslept! Now though, it's nice. It's a step towards normalcy that I missed. To be honest, Tessa, I'm kind of jealous."

"What?" Tessa frowned. "How so?"

"You have a life you can go back to. As much as I love the Railroad, it's all I have. This is my life. But you?" She gestured at Tessa. "You've got Piper, Curie, plenty of friends, a whole army to lead and the freedom to do whatever else you want."

Something about how she said Curie's name caught her attention. Tessa frowned deeper with thought. "Well, you still have friends here."

"I know, and like I said I love the Railroad. I guess I just miss the days I could go out into the world and not have so much to worry about," Desdemona replied. "I miss those I've lost."

"Are we… friends?"

Desdemona straightened up and blinked. The softest of blushes colored her cheeks. 'I'd like to think so," she replied, "I know we don't always see eye to eye but, I respect you entirely."

"Respect doesn't entirely mean friendship, Dez," Tessa replied. "You can respect a coworker, doesn't mean you like them any."

"Suppose you're right." Desdemona cleared her throat. "I admire your strength, both physically and of character. I like seeing you, and I trust you completely. I really was willing to give my life for yours in those tunnels as we fled the coursers."

"I haven't forgotten that," Tessa said, the image of her laying on the ground burned up by lasers filling her mind. Desdemona wore them now as scars, though they weren't nearly as angry as the laser scar Tessa had on her chest. Instead her side looked a faint bit like a ghoul's, though not rotting in any way. Despite herself, they only added to Desdemona's beauty. "Thank you, by the way. I never got the chance to say that."

Desdemona gave her an easy smile. "I don't know if those lasers would have killed you, I half thought they'd kill me even, but I was willing to give it all at that moment. I know you want out, but I have to be honest. I would've asked you to replace me as leader if something had happened to me."

"You what?"

"You already know you're a leader," Desdemona replied, "and Deacon isn't. He's a great agent, but not a leader. Given the situation we'd have been going into, you'd have been the one I'd trust most to see us through. I'm glad instead, we're allies."

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"I am, yes. I'm glad it didn't come to that, but I would've wanted you if it had. Tom and Carrington both knew the contingency. That's how much faith I place in you." Desdemona gave her a firm smile. "I'm very glad it didn't come to that, but… yeah. So, I hope we're friends."

"Damn straight we are," Tessa replied, and rather impulsively, hugged her. It was a bit awkward with Desdemona sitting down, but she returned it in full. When Tessa sat back down, she cleared her throat. "I've admired you for so long, Dez, I just wasn't sure what we were, especially after the Prydwen. I was half scared you hated me personally but knew what I could do for the Railroad. I've seen how professional you are, and I love that about you but it had me scared."

"I never hated you! You honestly thought I might?" Desdemona replied, taken aback. Her hazel eyes widened comically as Tessa's had.

"Just a bit. I mean, I did more than just punch you…"

"Again, I deserved it. I was scared you hated me!"

They burst into laughter, and Tessa struggled to calm down after a bit. A weight she had been carrying lifted from her shoulders, ascending into the cloudy skyline with such relief Tessa couldn't stop smiling. "Wow, I guess we both got too good at keeping secrets huh? Didn't even know what the other was thinking."

"I learned how to be good at that years ago. Only Deacon knew that Glory and I were in love."

"Damn."

"Yeah. This kind of life… eventually all you know is how to keep secrets and lie. I think it'll be good for you to get out of it. I'd hate to see you lose yourself in the shadows." Their eyes met, and Tessa softened some. There was something familiar in Desdemona's eyes. Deacon's words echoed in the back of her mind.

Tessa's breath hitched. "You're not… interested in me, are you?"

Desdemona blushed fiercely, and she gave a slow nod. "Like I said, I trust you completely. That's a rare thing for me, and… I like seeing you. But I know how things are with you and your lovers, especially Curie as of late. I suppose I considered that since you three are well… in a poly relationship that one day something might happen but…" She trailed off, holding herself.

Tessa's ears were burning, and she averted her gaze. "You're definitely attractive," she said, "but Curie isn't ready for any changes in our relationship. In the end you were right, she and G5 are something entirely new now. Some days she's Curie, others she's G5, and sometimes they're something in the middle. I have no idea how Piper would feel other than that Curie's not ready for anything like that and-"

"Those just sound like excuses for your partners," Desdemona replied, "not yourself. You don't have to lie to me, just tell me if you don't feel the same. I'm a grown woman Bullseye. I can take rejection." She'd flinched at the mention of G5, a spark of pain in hazel eyes Tessa knew well.

"Who was the other synth?"

Desdemona was taken off-guard. Her face burned with a blush and Desdemona stood up. "Why are you asking that?" She gripped the plastile railing for support.

"You said you loved a few synths, not just Glory. Every time Curie or G5 are mentioned, you have a reaction." Tessa stood up as well, not trying to be too forceful but she had to know.

"Shit. I'm getting sloppy," Desdemona sighed. She turned out towards the Boston ruins, the sun set behind the mountains now and twilight descending. Stars began to twinkle to the east, and the green glow of the CIT ruins called like a sick siren.

"You said it yourself, I was a top agent for a reason," Tessa replied. She gingerly reached out and touched Desdemona's shoulder. The ginger lurched back, eyes wide.

"I really am interested in you, you know?" Desdemona hesitated. "But you're not wrong either. G5… She, Glory and I were… close. She used to be a courser, and joined our fight about the same time Glory and I started to mingle. Damn, Glory was head over heels for her."

Tessa frowned with thought. "That explains just how durable Curie is…"

"I doubt any other synth would have survived that explosion. G5 wasn't the best, but she was damn good. Hell, she used to hunt us down even, till I turned on the charm and got her to see the light. She was one hell of an agent, but she was more than that to Glory and I. We were each other's everything."

Tessa got Desdemona to shift back towards her, tears brimming. She knew precisely the pain in hazel eyes, one she had experienced many times over. "What went wrong?"

"We lost some people, a safehouse got taken out. G5 blamed herself. She'd worked so hard to 'redeem' her past actions, but somehow she had decided it was because of her courser training. She was convinced that they were tracking her through the trained techniques, which I foolishly conceded was possible. So she did what G5 always did, and made the hard choice to protect us. When she decided to get the mind wipe… It hurt so much. When she didn't wake up, it hurt all the more."

At some point Tessa had started to comfort her, holding Desdemona gingerly as if she might shatter from enough force. Her heart ached at what Desdemona had said, the loss so familiar. "That explains a lot about how you've acted around Curie."

"Seeing Curie healing people after we'd… I'd lost Glory… It was like God was mocking me. I couldn't say a damn thing to her, she's not G5 like you said. I could see that for the first time, and it hurt to know she was completely gone."

"She's not though," Tessa replied, "she's back in some strange way. I think she'd really like seeing you again."

Desdemona sniffled. "Are you sure? Some days I feel quite sure it'd be best for me to just accept she's gone and move on. It wouldn't be the first time I buried my love."

"Before her mind was taken, I'd agree it was for the best for you to stay away but now… I care about G5 deeply, and I want her to be happy. I want you to be happy too."

"I want you to be happy too. I tried so hard not to let these feelings grow but the thought of losing you hurts near as much as losing them," Desdemona confessed.

Tessa cupped Desdemona's cheek, a tender smile upon her face. "Each time you nearly died when we faced the Institute, it felt like another bit of myself was dying. I rationalized it as your importance to the Railroad and success of the mission, but it's stuck with me. You deserve to speak with G5 again, and I'll respect whatever choice she and Curie make. They're really starting to communicate with one another. It helps that they have a diary. I'm not sure how Piper will feel about it."

"That's okay," whimpered Desdemona, leaning into Tessa's touch. "I can't thank you enough. Only in my wildest dreams did I think getting this close was possible."

Tessa smirked, and dared to close the distance between them. Lips met softly, with the hesitance of first-times and nerves. Desdemona's hands lowered to Tessa's hips, pulling her closer. Warmth bubbled in their chests and cheeks burned red. They lingered afterwards, soft and tender breaths passing between them. They stared into one another's eyes, excitement and anxiety running wild. Tessa pulled back first.

"I'm willing to try," she said.

Desdemona inhaled slowly, calming herself. "I would be surprised if Piper or Curie feel anything towards me, but I do respect them deeply. I can't imagine what I'm asking is an easy adjustment."

"It'd be a lie to deny what I feel any longer. I intend on living honestly after today."

Desdemona smirked, and despite herself started to laugh. It confused Tessa, who arched a brow. "I can only dream of the day I can as well. When all the synths are safe and the world no longer needs the Railroad."

Tessa gave a wistful sigh. "I'd like to think that day is coming soon. Everything we've sacrificed, everyone we've lost… It has to be worth it."

"Love is worth it," Desdemona said softly.

Tessa's eyes lowered back to Desdemona's lips, a tug on her heart. "Yeah… It is." They kissed again, a bit less bashful than before. When they pulled apart, Tessa stepped away. "I'm going back to Diamond City, and I'm going to talk to them about this. I'd like you to come with."

Desdemona gave a nod. "I'd… like that too. You should stay the night though, it's not safe to travel after dark. I'd hate for you to get hurt."

Tessa snickered. "Wouldn't be the first time. Is there a spare bed I can use?"

"I've got a rather large one," suggested Desdemona.

Tessa's ears burned once more. "Are you… uh, sure?"

"I'm not trying to pull a move, Tessa," Desdemona reassured.

Tessa cleared her throat and gave a small nod. "Thank you."

Desdemona smiled, and tilted her head towards the penthouse. "You hungry? I can cook some dinner."

With a certain warmth in her chest, Tessa took Desdemona's hand and led them inside. The uncertainty and confusion she'd felt earlier was gone. Nestled firmly in its place was fledgling love, and hope. Somehow, she knew things would work out, and they'd figure out how to make all of them happy. She squeezed Desdemona's hand. "That sounds perfect to me."