She comes into the world screaming.
That's not a joke or a story or anything people say to be funny. It's not something anyone speaks of fondly. It simply is what it is. Truth. Not honesty. No. Who needs honesty? Just the truth.
So she's screaming and her mother's bleeding out tired and it's scaring her more. She's scared and scared and scared. After all, she's but a newly born babe. All these new feelings and her father's fear and the midwife's worry just scare her more. So her mother's bleeding out and she's screaming.
Her mother lives.
It wasn't like she was in danger or anything. Or at least not much. Just some damage, some tears, that were fixed up quickly by the midwife. Maybe if she was human it would have been bad, but she wasn't. And maybe if her mother had been any other noble she'd have been left horrified by the entire event and chosen not to have more children, but she wasn't.
Her mother was the noble who'd had her first child when she herself was no more than a child, and nearly died for it. Even with those memories engrained in her, she'd had plenty more children, and so after her she has three more.
But before that, she's born screaming.
Not crying. Screaming. It worries her father and the midwife and her older brother but not her mother. Her mother just sits there holding her as she's sewed fixed and coos over her. Gives her kisses even as she's in excruciating pain and so she stops crying eventually. After some many hours that nobody really wants to count.
Her mother and father dote on her and her mother even more than usual. They name her Caledonia Akpofure Landegre. It's a strange name. It has Akpofure in it though and though she doesn't really find that fitting she lets it be her name and answers when they call for Caledonia.
She's a strange baby. She sticks to her mother's side and never leaves and screams when she's forced to so they learn to stop. Sometimes people blame her mother for it and she starts screaming again so they learn to stop too. Mother blushes and kisses her whenever that happens so she knows she's done good even if she can't seem to from the normal way. But later she learns to stop the normal way and so reading becomes the normal way instead.
Father... She doesn't really know what to make of father in the beginning. He's strange and his hair isn't the right colour and his voice isn't right and nothing about him is right. Nothing nothing nothing. He doesn't like it when she screams either but that just makes her scream more. All she can do is scream. It's the only thing aside from her mother that seems right so that's what she does.
She's got many brothers and sisters, and none of them feel right either aside from eldest brother. So she screams.
But despite how much she screams it's never because of them. It's because she needs the attention on her all the time. Has to have it all the time. She's left scared and weak and cold if not so when people don't look at her she screams and screams and screams. The world scares her and she doesn't want to be alone.
As she grows older she hits too. But it's not really hitting it's just gentle swatting except people never notice and always get upset. And she hates it because they leave her lonely and she screams again.
Only mother understands. Usually she doesn't let people feel her but she lets her mother because she's soft and cute and small except she's none of those things but she is too. She is and she knows her mother is but nobody else does not even father and so he's an idiot. So it's up to her.
But not really because it's mother who hugs her and holds her close and understands why. Mother who feels and feels and feels and lets her hit and hit and hit to make music instead of screaming. Mother calls her Calliope and she's the only one allowed to and it's the only name allowed. Nobody else can or else she'll scream and hit.
Once when they're alone her mother kisses her nose and calls her ןץ๔ץ๏ς and nothing ever feels as right as that but it's the only time it ever happens. After that it just continues on to be Calliope but mother spends even more time with her than she used to. It makes her happy because it's mother she loves most.
She's not allowed to have mother though. She has to share her with her family and friends and everyone and that's not fair. All she wants is attention but what she wants most is her mother and her attention. But she can't have her so she settles for one of her brother's instead.
Not outside the family because she doesn't like anyone outside it. If they're not family they can die. She doesn't care about them. Family is the only important thing and that includes the clan. Except when she says clan she means her mother's clan and not her father's since even if her last name is Landegre that has always been wrong. Caledonia is fine. Akpofure fits but also doesn't. But Landegre is just plain wrong. Mother insists on it though and she settles after screaming and hitting for a while.
She chooses the quietest of her brothers. Not the eldest because he's already married, which is a shame. His husband doesn't deserve him but she likes her niece so she doesn't say anything about it. The quietest is the oldest of they six from father and he never speaks unlike the eldest who though quiet too, enjoys making jokes and laughing. Instead he only really talks to mother and father properly and gives everyone else one-word answers.
The quietest just stays alone and sits in misty mountains and valleys and uses his bow and arrows. That's why she chooses him. She likes that weapon most out of anything so he's the best choice and he's the type who goes along with everything. That's why when she tells him he's hers and only hers he just looks at her and gives a small nod, saying nothing. It's good, because he's hers and nobody else's.
Yet even though she's happy with that her discontent grows every passing day since Landegre is just wrong. It's bad and stupid and she doesn't like how it sounds behind Caledonia Akpofure so she ends up screaming so much that she sets fire to her harmonica.
It terrifies her because that's her precious gift from her mother and she puts it down without it getting damaged, but there's still damage done. Mother cries when she's alone for days and she doesn't know if anyone really notices but she does know that the atmosphere goes strange. It hurts so she decides to stay by her mother's side and despite how much her mother is hurting, there's a blushing smile on her face when she says Caledonia Akpofure Agvain.
She likes it better too, but she tells her mother to call her Calliope like she always does, and that sounds even better. Calliope Agvain. Calliope Agvain. Calliope Agvain. She makes her mother keep on repeating it and her heart melts and her chest hurts and she cries because of it. And she's happy.
So she has two names. Caledonia Akpofure Agvain, and Calliope Agvain. Never Landegre.
Though her mother's hurting, she stays by her side and it never goes as bad as it could. And father's useful too, she supposes. But she makes faces at him because he's the reason she can't have mother all to herself in the end. Everyone else could be ignored, but not him. Because as much as she wants mother, she loves father too.
And that's why she just settles for screaming if her family doesn't give her the attention she wants.