Sorry about the cliffie, guys! Hope you don't hate me too much for it, it had to be done. Here's the next chapter. It was a tough chapter to write. Our lovely Edward struggles in this one. Let me know what you think.

Pain seared through my body as the familiar electricity that bound me to Bella called me to her. Something was wrong, very wrong. I needed to get back to her. The animal at my feet and all thoughts of disposing of the body were forgotten. I was on my feet and sprinting back towards the cabin within seconds.

No, no, no, I thought, I must be mistaken, nothing has happened, it can't have. Maybe I just ventured further than before and our bond was stretched too far, but as I got closer to the cabin the pain was only increasing.

"Please, be alright, Bella, I need you," I whispered into the air, still sprinting faster than I had ever run before.

As I neared the cabin, I could hear the faint beat of her heart, and I raised my eyes to the heavens and thanked God for even that faint sound. I burst through the door, pulling it off it's hinges in my wake, and quickly followed her scent to find her lying at the bottom of the stairs. A small trickle of blood was running from the back of her head and her body was bent in an awkward shape. Thankfully, her heart still was beating quietly but unevenly.

I knelt beside her, sobbing tearlessly, quickly assessing her condition. I had spent enough time with Carlisle and read enough of his medical textbooks to know that she was in a bad way. The nearest hospital was almost an hour away, even with my driving she wouldn't make it there in time.

"Don't leave me, Bella," I sobbed, "I can't live without you. You promised only happiness from now on."

She lay there, completely still, in front of me, her breathing so shallow even I had trouble hearing it. I knew I had to make a decision, if I did nothing, she was going to die within a matter of minutes. There was only one way to fix what was wrong with her, but we had never spoken about it. What if this wasn't what she wanted? What if she hated me for condemning her to this cursed life? Only one thing could possibly be worse than living without her, and that was living knowing she hated me.

I kicked myself for never brining this up and talking to her about how she felt about it. I had wanted to wait for her to bring it up, leaving all decisions about it up to her. If I had been the one to mention it, she might have felt pressured, like she had to do it for me.

I never wanted this life for her. Oh, don't get me wrong, I desperately wanted it for me. I never wanted to be without her. If I lost her, I knew that I would have no option than to find a way to end my own existence. But she was too good, too pure for this soulless existence. She should live, enjoy her humanity and all the things it could give her. She should walk in the sunshine, not hide in the shadows.

I'd like to think that I could have let her go when her time came, if she had decided she only wanted to be human, but with the agony ripping through my body as I watched her life slip away in front of me, I wasn't so sure.

It was never supposed to come to this, me having to make this decision for her, with her still so ignorant of everything it would entail.

"I can't make this decision!" I cried, "It's not my decision to make. Wake up, baby, tell me what to do..."

But I knew it was hopeless, she wasn't going to wake up, I had to make the decision, and I had to do it quick or I was going to lose her. At the thought of losing her, the pain in my chest sharpened, and without conscious thought, I lowered my head to her throat and bit down on her neck, drinking a few gulps of her warm nectar down before sealing the wound with a swipe of my tongue.

As I pulled back from her neck, I looked down at her, aghast at what I had just done. My body had just acted of it's own accord, unwilling to give her up and now there was no going back. Relief flooded me, as I realised that I would get to keep her forever. I could still hear her heart beating enough to pump the venom around her body, but just as quickly I was filled with shame. She was too good for this life.

For a few moments, the wound on her neck the only indication of what had happened but then the venom started working it's magic and she let out a blood curdling scream that pierced my heart.

"I'm sorry," I wept, "I'm so sorry, baby, please forgive me. I'm so selfish. I couldn't lose you. I need you."

I couldn't leave her lying her on the ground, so I carefully picked her up as she cried and screamed through the pain that she didn't even understand. I carried her up the stairs and laid her on the bed, resisting the temptation to climb in beside her and hold her close, but I knew how much pain she was in and I didn't know what she was thinking.

Maybe she hated me, knowing that I was the one putting her through this pain. Maybe she didn't have any idea what was happening, why she was going though this pain.

Every scream, cry and yell pierced a hole right through my heart. I wondered if there would be any of it left at the end of the three day transformation, but still I knew that she was going though worse. If I could have swapped places with her I would.

I pulled a chair over to the edge of the bed and I couldn't resist holding her hand in mine, even if she hated me. With her hand in mine, her screams seemed to quieten, but I thought it must be just a coincidence. I sat with her for a long time, her cries having quietened down to whimpers and moans, until the room grew dark around us.

I let go of her hand and stood up to cross the room to turn on the light. The dark didn't affect me, my eyes could see even in complete darkness, but I wanted to make her feel as comfortable as possible, maybe being in darkness would be more frightening for her.

"No! Don't go!" she screamed, before I had even reached the light switch. I flicked it quickly and rushed back to her side, picking up her hand again.

"Shhh, baby, I'm right here," I reassured her. "I won't go anywhere...unless you want me to," I added, reluctantly. I never wanted to leave her, but I would if that what she wanted. I wouldn't go far, I couldn't leave a newborn vampire alone but if she wanted me to stay away through her transformation, I would prise myself away from her side.

"Stay," she whimpered, her screams having died down as soon as her hand was in mine again, "Hold me, please, I need you."

At her request, I climbed into the bed beside her and pulled her into my arms, even her whimpers quietened then, my closeness really seeming to help with the pain of the transformation.

"Tell me...," she stuttered, "Am I a... vampire?"

Stunned, I looked down at her, her eyes closed against the pain. Even now, she knew what was going on, despite having never talked about it with her.

"You will be," I whispered, "I'm so sorry. I had to, I couldn't lose you. You were very badly hurt. I don't know what you remember, but you must have fallen down the stairs. When I got here you were close to death, even with my driving, you wouldn't have made it to the hospital." Her lips turned up at the sides in a small laugh at my remark about my driving.

"I had to...bite you," I confessed, "to start the transformation. It takes a few days, three normally, for the venom to transform you into a vampire, but it's agony. I'm so sorry, you probably hate me. It wasn't my decision to make, I'm sorry..." She pressed her finger to my lips and shook her head lightly, but didn't speak.

After a few moments, her breathing evened out and she seemed to fall asleep or lose consciousness – I couldn't tell which. I worried at first, maybe the venom wasn't working properly, but I could still hear her heart beating steadily and as I listened closer I could hear the faint rustling of the venom working through her veins. I relaxed a little after hearing that, glad that she seemed to be relatively pain free, for the moment at least. How I wished Carlisle were here, to check her over for me. He'd been through this a few times before. I was only going on what I had heard in his mind about mine and Esme's transformations.

Left with nothing but my own thoughts, I couldn't help but think about how this was the most selfish thing I'd ever done. I'd taken away her life, her humanity, turned her into a monster for my own selfishness, just so I wouldn't have to live without her. I shouldn't have done it, but my body had just taken over before my mind could comprehend what I should do. Maybe I should have let her have her chance at Heaven. She was so good with such a pure soul. There was no way she would have been kept out, but now I'd compromised that soul for my own selfish ends.

I lay with her for hours, as day turned into night and back to day again, holding her close to me, only for her sake as it seemed that our connection was helping her not feel as much pain. If I didn't think that she would be in agony the second I moved away from her, I don't think I could have forced my presence on her. It seemed too ironic for me to be the one comforting her when I had caused all of this.

The light of the next day was just beginning to creep through the windows, when she began to stir, her eyelids fluttering open.

"Are you alright?" I asked, stupidly. Of course she wasn't alright, I'd condemned her soul for all eternity. "Do you want me to leave? I'm sorry, I know you hate me but it seemed to help when I was near, but I'll move further away if you want."

"No," she whispered, hoarsely, "Stay. It's more bearable when I'm in your arms. The pain is still there, but I can manage it. When you weren't touching me, it was agony." She was breathing heavily and her eyes closed, like it was taking a lot of effort to speak. "And I don't hate you, could never hate you," she continued, after a few deep breaths.

I looked down at her, trying to figure out if she was telling the truth. With her eyes closed, it was hard to tell, but I just couldn't see how she could possibly mean that. I'm sure she just didn't want me to leave, though I never would. If she wanted me here, then this is where I would be. Even if she didn't want me here, it would take all my strength to walk away from her, something I could only do if it was what she wanted. What she wanted would always override my own wants and needs.

"We should probably try to get you cleaned up. There's blood in your hair, on your skin and clothes. Do you think you might be up for a bath?" I suggested. The blood wasn't bothering me. Her blood never called to me because of our connection, but I imagined it must be uncomfortable for her and it might affect her bloodlust once the transformation was complete.

"You'll stay with me the whole time?" she pleaded.

"Of course," I reassured her, "I won't let go of you at all."

"Okay," she replied,

I picked her up and carried her bridal style into the bathroom and turned on the tap to begin filling the bath. As it filled, I carefully removed her clothes along with my own, trying not to jostle her too much in the process. Once the bath was filled, I stepped into the water with Bella still in my arms and sat down, laying her in front of me with her back on my chest. I took my time washing her whole body from shoulders to toes before gently rinsing the blood out of her hair, lathering it in shampoo and massaging her scalp. The wound on her head from the fall had already closed over and began to heal from the venom, as had the one I had made biting into her neck.

When she was completely clean, I dried us both off wrapping her in a large towel and carried her back to the bedroom. I climbed back into the bed, covering us both with the blanket.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Don't thank me, I caused this. It's the least I could do," I scoffed.

Time seemed to have slowed down. Minutes seemed like hours, hours seemed like days. I hated to think that she was in any kind of pain because of me, although I was grateful she wasn't in the same agony I had been during my own transformation. She drifted in and out of consciousness, letting out small whimpers and moans from time to time, but as long as I stayed beside her, she wasn't screaming so I never moved.

As the sun rose on the third day, I could hear her heart rate starting to speed up, signalling that she was getting close to the end. I could notice the difference in her temperature, she was no longer searing hot against my cold skin, but much closer in temperature to me. Her skin had become harder, less give in it than before. Her hair was richer in colour and felt even softer. She was already fairly pale skinned so that hadn't changed much, getting only slightly paler.

"Not long now, baby," I reassured her, "Less than an hour, I think. Your heart will get faster and faster until finally it just stops."

Her whimpers and moans increased with her heart rate, and each one pierced right through my heart. As much as I welcomed the end of the transformation, and the end of her pain, I dreaded what she would say when she fully woke up. Would she send me away? Would she tell me she hated me? Would she scream at me for taking her life, for making this decision that should have been hers to make?

Finally, her heart beat for the final time, the silence ringing in my ears as I waited for her to move, not wanting to overwhelm her by speaking or moving first. Her eyes flew open, bright red irises staring up into my almost amber ones.

"Wow," she exclaimed, "I can see so much more now. You are even more beautiful that I thought," she giggled, her laugh tinkling like bells, the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. She sat up, moving so quickly she startled herself.

"Oh!" she cried, "That's gonna take some getting used to!"

"It can be a little overwhelming at first, but just take things slowly, one thing at a time and it'll be fine," I explained, "We should go to hunt, you must be very thirsty."

Her hand flew to her throat, as though she'd only just realised the burning there.

"I suppose I am. It's not unbearable though," she said.

"Really?" I questioned, "I expected you to be frantic with the need to hunt. Most newborns are overcome with bloodlust when they are changed. You are very calm."

"I don't really feel calm. Everything is very different. It's a little overwhelming," she said, "You'll help me hunt? Animals. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Of course, I'm your sire. I'm obligated to look after you and help you adjust to this life," I assured her.

"Oh," she said, sadly, looking down at her hands, "Just my sire? Am I... not your mate any more?"

"Of course you are," I said quickly, pulling her into my arms. I hated to see that look on her face. "I told you vampires mate for life. You are it for me. I just wasn't sure if you hated me for doing this to you and I didn't want to frighten you with talk of mates so soon." She looked up into my eyes, a smile spreading over her face.

"Silly vampire," she chided, "I already told you I don't hate you. How could I hate you? I love you!" I could see nothing but truth shining in her eyes.

"But..." I stuttered, "I bit you, turned you into a vampire without your permission, took away your life, your humanity. How can you not hate me after that?"

"Because you're my mate too, silly!" she said, leaning up to kiss me lightly on the lips, "You were my mate even when I was human. I love you. I know, we hadn't talked about it and I had no idea of the mechanics of it all, but I had already decided I wanted to be like you some day."

"Really? But you never asked about becoming a vampire or the transformation process," I said.

"I know, I was going to though," she replied, "I wanted to think it over by myself first, make sure it was definitely what I wanted, before bringing it up. I didn't want to get your hopes up before I had made up my mind. But I had decided I wanted to be with you forever. I just thought we had more time."

"Me too," I sighed, "otherwise I would have told you about it all before now. I didn't want you to feel pressured into changing for me."

"Well, no more thinking that I hate you or that I didn't want this. I'm glad you made this decision for me, for us," she said, "It's not like you just changed me against my will for no reason. I was going to die, you saved me."

"I was so scared," I admitted, "I thought I was going to have to live without you." Even though she was sitting right here beside me, just one thought of how close I came to losing her and all control I'd had over the last few days was gone. It all hit me and my body wracked with tearless sobs that I just couldn't hold back any longer. She held me close to her chest, her chin resting on my head, and let me cry, letting out all the emotions that I had kept bottled up during her transformation.

"I felt it, you know," I told her, when I eventually calmed down enough to speak again.

"Felt what?" she asked, still holding me close to her. Here she was comforting me when she was the newborn vampire. I should have been helping her adjust and she was holding me together. She was always exactly what I needed.

"I had just finished hunting, when I felt the sharpest jolt of pain straight through my heart. I knew something was wrong instantly. It must have been when you fell. I could feel our connection pulling me back towards the cabin, towards you," I explained, "If I hadn't felt that, I'm not sure I would have made it back in time to change you." I shuddered at the thought of being too late, of getting here and finding her lifeless body, struggling to hold back the sobs once more.

"Wow," she whispered, "This connection of ours really is something, eh?"

"I don't think I've ever seen or heard of a mate connection as strong as this before," I said, "Carlisle and Esme are mated, but they can be apart. Carlisle works as a doctor for long periods each day and they never seemed to be in pain like we are when we are away from each other for even a short period of time."

We both sat in silence for a few minutes, contemplating our deep connection and why we seemed to be different than other vampires. Maybe Carlisle would know something about it, if we were able to find him.

"Is your throat not bothering you?" I asked.

"A little, I suppose," she answered, rubbing her hand along her neck, "It only really seems to bother me when I think about it."

"Well, I don't want you to be in any discomfort, so why don't we go out to hunt?" I suggested.

"Okay," she said, a little hesitantly, "But I really have no idea what to do."

"Don't worry, I'll teach you but instinct will kick in and you'll know what to do," I assured her, "Let's go."

One second she was in the bed with me, the next she was across the room. I couldn't help but chuckle at the look of shock on her face, but the humour disappeared as soon as I took in all of her. I hadn't bothered to dress either of us after bathing her, as I hadn't wanted to let go of her at all, so she was now standing naked in front of me.

To me, she was already the most beautiful woman in the world, but the venom had enhanced her natural beauty. Her lips were plumper and a shade redder, her cheekbones a little more prominent and her hair was a richer shade of brown, hanging beautifully around her shoulders. Her stomach, buttocks and long legs were more toned and I couldn't take my eyes off her breasts, now a little bigger and rounder than before. I felt myself harden and it took all the control I had not to pounce on her and drag her back to the bed. I knew she really needed to hunt so I turned away from her to let her get dressed.

It took a while to get dressed as Bella kept shredding clothes with her new strength and eventually I had to help her, with my eyes closed, otherwise we wouldn't be going anywhere. Once we were both dressed, I grabbed her hand and led her down the stairs and out into the forest for her first hunt.

Recommendation for this chapter:

The List by LauraACullen

Four weeks before her wedding to Edward, Bella is frustrated. She knows there's little-to-no chance of getting him to bend his rules and boundaries now, but there's no harm in fantasizing about what could happen later. So she begins compiling a list...