He stepped into the living room, mindful of the fact that his voice might possibly carry through the panes of the window into the yard. The last thing she needed was to be worrying about what was going on back in Springfield. So often he could tell, if just by the look in her eyes, that the people and things she'd left behind rarely left her thoughts.
"What have they told you?", he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Marina peered into the small hospital room, her eyes resting on Shayne's bruised and bandaged body. His eyes were closed, but she wasn't sure if he was sleeping. He'd been almost angry when she'd tried to talk to him earlier - as if he'd almost been disappointed that she hadn't written him off as the lost cause he'd decided he was. She didn't know what else to do. The Coopers had always been tenacious by nature, but everyone had their limits.
"Marina." Mallet called her name again. "Have the doctors said anything about the extent of his injuries? You said he would be okay, right? It wasn't anything life threatening?"
She sighed. "Getting hit by this car tonight won't be what kills him," she said softly, stepping back over to the row of chairs that sat in the middle of the busy waiting room and slumping into one of them. "But I feel like this is killing me, Mallet. It's like watching someone slowly die and he's choosing this for himself. I know he's hurting. I know he misses her. I know he wants things to be different, but he has a son, and if Henry isn't enough to make him pull out of this, then-"
"He might just need some more time, Marina. He loved her and getting over someone that you love like that isn't easy to do. Believe me, I-" He stopped, knowing his admission might not bring her the comfort he'd intended.
"How much time, Mallet?" He could hear the tremble in her voice. "My God, you had years and you never got over her. It's why you're there with her now. It's why you're protecting her. It's why you're willing to let the rest of us sit over here and rot in our own personal hell as long as …" The anger she'd been trying so hard to quell was finally beginning to surface. She'd found an outlet and the fact that she currently sat in the middle of a bustling hospital waiting room no longer mattered.
"Would you please stop?!" He heard the harsh tone in his own voice as he forced his hand to loosen around the phone. He drew in a deep breath before speaking again, mindful of the silence he now heard on the other end of the line. "I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. This isn't your fault. I know it's hard to watch someone you care about self destruct like that and I wish there was something I could do to help you, but …"
She let her breath out slowly. "There is something you can do Mallet. That's the whole point." She glanced around, lowering her voice before speaking again. "I know you're trying to protect her and I know that you feel like that's your only job right now, but I'm going to ask you to think about somebody else, somebody that didn't ask to be here, somebody that can't protect themselves, and somebody that is totally and completely innocent in all of this mess."
She didn't have to say his name for him to know exactly who she was referring to. "Marina," he sighed.
"I know how much you love Henry, Mallet. I know you would have laid down your life for that little boy and I know how much it hurt you to walk away from him, but you did it because you believed that it was what was best for him. You thought he deserved to have his real father in his life. What about now, Mallet? What do I tell Henry when he loses the two men in his life that he called Daddy?"
"Shayne isn't gone, Marina. He'll come around. Henry is his son and that means something to him. I know it does. He loves that little boy."
"So did you," she said quietly. "And you still left. And you're still gone, you're staying away, to protect her."
"Don't do that. Don't make it out like I'm choosing her over Henry. That's not what this is. Henry has you. He has Shayne. He has your whole family. Shayne has you and his family. If I'm not here, what does she have? Who's going to be here to help her? I can't do that. I could never do that to her."
"We're not the people he wants, Mallet. I'm not asking you to walk away from her right now. I'm just asking you to help me help him. If you could just tell her. Let her make the decision. I believe she would want to be here. I think she'd …"
"I've already told you, she can't be there. It's not safe. There's no reason for me to tell her something like that. It' would just torture her. It would hurt her. I don't want to do that. It's not good for her. It's not good for the baby."
"Well then let me tell him. Please. If I tell him the truth about where she is, maybe if he knows she's somewhere safe, maybe that would be enough to …"
"You can't do that, Marina!" The sharpness in his tone returned as he felt the tension settle in his jaw. "Listen, I know that you just want to help him. I know how scared you are that Henry is going to lose his father, but I need you to understand that I'm afraid too, okay? I'm afraid that there's no way that I can keep her safe once the truth gets out and if he knows she's out there, he won't stop until he finds her and that's …"
"That's the real problem, isn't it?" She ran her hand over her face, as reality seemed to slap her yet again. "You say you're trying to keep her safe, but the truth is you're trying to keep her safe with you. Shayne loves her, Mallet. He would keep her safe too. If he knew where she was, he could go there and …"
"What if I talked to him?" His words came out quickly, the desperation evident in his tone. "I can tell him that I was willing to walk away so that he could be a real father to Henry, but that if he's not going to do the right thing for you and Henry that I think I made a mistake and … and … maybe that will be enough. Maybe he'll realize that he was given a gift and it can be taken away and …"
Her shoulders slumped as she let the air out of her body slowly. Defeat washed over her. It was an all too familiar feeling as of late.
The heavy sigh was one he recognized. "Marina," he said softly, "I'm sorry. I wish I could do what you wanted. I just can't take that kind of chance … not with this … not with her."
She closed her eyes as she listened to his words. "I hope she knows how lucky she is," she whispered. "You really have given up everything for her."
"I …" He began.
"Don't." She swallowed hard. This wasn't the time and it certainly wasn't the place. "Maybe you're right. Maybe if you call him it will help. God knows nothing I have to say is working."
"I'll do my best," he promised. "You just text me and let me know when he's up to it and I'll call him." He stopped, waiting for her response, hoping she'd say something that would help to alleviate the almost crushing guilt he felt. "Hey," he finally whispered, when the silence simply became too much for him to handle. "You know if you need anything, you can call me. You know that, right? If I can do it-if I can help, I'll do my best. I will. I swear."
"I know," she whispered, her finger quickly pressing the button to end the call. She let her fingers run through her ear as she leaned back in the chair and let the wave of sorrow rush over her again. Hot tears welled up in her eyes, as she whispered softly to no one in particular, "It's what you won't do that makes this all so damn hard."