Chapter 5
After having some cereal for breakfast, Skyrah and Severus went to the potions lab and started to work together on the potion that would reveal whether she was pregnant or not, and if positive, the gender of the baby as well. Skyrah was more serious than usual, trembling in edginess, pacing.
While he stirred the potion and Skyrah kept reading the instructions, he interrupted her and offered, "Skyrah, do you want to drink a calming draught? I can finish the potion on my own. Rest. I will call you when it is ready."
Stubbornly, she shook her head and replied, "I'm not going away. I'll help you with this."
"You should calm down. Lie down. I will call you as soon as I finish it, I promise. I am just trying to do what is best for you."
Skyrah smiled sadly, on the verge of tears. She couldn't help but hug him from behind and kiss his cheek. With her arms still enfolding him, she murmured, "You are a good husband, Severus."
A warm feeling grew in his stomach. His cheek tingled pleasantly. Her footsteps faded away until there was only silence.
Severus ignored the coldness he suddenly felt and focused on the potion. Since it was related to the Dark Arts, it wasn't very famous. In truth, it was only considered dark because it required a bit of blood from the parents. The Ministry had declared as dark all the potions which required human blood samples, stating they weren't ethical. Severus didn't have any problem with it though; he had prepared worse potions for the Dark Lord, after all, lethal potions. He spent the next two hours brewing. When it was ready, he searched his wife.
He looked in the living room and in their bedroom. No sign of her. Where could she be? Acting on a hunch, he strode towards the garden. There she was, in the same fashion he had found her the last time, with her back to him. The more he approached her, the clearer the melody that came from her lips became. He called her name softly so as not to startle her. When she got up and turned around, her eyes were dry. Severus sighed relieved. Weeping women made him uncomfortable. He didn't know how to react. She wrung her hands - still nervous - but the fresh air had done her good. She was the one to lead the way to the lab.
"We'll need a drop of your blood. If it doesn't change colours in one minute, it will mean you aren't pregnant," explained Severus.
Skyrah inhaled and exhaled deeply, willing to calm down, and took a knife. A small cut on her hand, and a blood drop poured into the cauldron.
She kept fidgeting, so Severus did something which amazed himself: he took her hand. Usually, it was Skyrah the one who initiated any kind of physical contact, so the gesture surprised her, too. If his gaze hadn't been fixed on the potion, too embarrassed to glance at her, he would have perceived the corners of her mouth moving upwards.
He was as nervous and scared as she was; he just masked it better. What if she was already with child? Would they make good parents? A few days ago, the answer would have been negative. Now, though, he wasn't so sure. Skyrah wasn't as reluctant as he was to show affection, something every child needs. He could also tell a lot about someone by the way they brewed potions. She had demonstrated dedication and hard-work – good qualities. Maybe they could raise a child despite the identity of the grandfather.
The main question was, did he want to be a father? Although Severus had never liked children, the scenario of having a child with Skyrah was not something he had aversion to. He even got warm fuzzies from imagining Skyrah singing the Irish lullaby to their child. He didn't know when his attitude had changed and he still kept in mind this was Voldemort's daughter, but somehow, he didn't care as much. He didn't hold on to false hope though. The chances to get her pregnant on the first try were minor. Too many couples struggled for years to have children.
Skyrah gasped and squeezed his hand, bringing him back to reality. The potion had turned from red to orange. She was pregnant.
"Severus…" she whispered, quivering.
He swallowed hard.
"I have to drop my blood to know the sex of the child. Do you wish to hold on longer to let the news sink in?"
She shook her head and requested, while caressing her belly, "Do it now, please."
Severus made a cut and let the blood drops fall. She was more anxious than ever, eyes misty all over again, hand trembling in his. They waited until the orange shade changed into purple.
"A girl."
As soon as he revealed the gender, Skyrah stormed out of the lab. He was too shocked to go after her.
Pregnant.
She was carrying his child.
His.
He was to be a father, and not a common one at that. No. He was about to be the father of You-know-who's grandchild.
He guessed, minor as the possibility had been to get her pregnant, it still existed. He spent ten minutes standing in silence with his racing mind, he flounced out of the potions lab and rushed to the garden. She was seated on the grass, with her hands covering her face. Her shoulders shook violently with her sobs. Severus was at a loss. Hadn't they obeyed the orders? And sooner than expected too. Then it clicked. A girl. The Dark Lord wanted a boy, an heir. Fuck, thought Snape.
"Skyrah?"
When she looked at him, her eyes were red and her nose was puffy. She was hyperventilating. Alarmed, Severus sat on the grass next to her and did the unexpected: he held her. Granted, it was awkward, his arms were too tense, unused to the gesture, but Skyrah didn't seem to care and held him back as if her life depended on it, while her breathing kept on being fast and irregular.
"Take big slow breaths. Like that. Perfect."
Her breathing had returned back to normal. Silent tears were still streaming down her face though.
"That's it. Very well, Skyrah."
She hugged him even more tightly after this and didn't loosen her grip for thirt minutes.
"He can't know," she whispered dead serious, extracting herself from the embrace.
"Pardon?" he asked. "We cannot hide a pregnancy," he tried to sound gentle, but it came out as a snarl.
"We can try. I'm only a few days pregnant. We can hide it for the first four months. Then, not even spells will be able to cover it up, but I'll think of something. I'll invent the spells myself if I must. Please! I know it seems unreal but it's not. Even if right now she's minuscule, she's still alive. If everything goes well, this little girl I'm growing inside will be my daughter in nine months. If he finds out, he'll kill her. I'm not losing my daughter!" she begged, screaming to the point of hysterics.
Trying to remain calm, he murmured, "Your father is no fool, Skyrah. He will find out."
Letting out a bittersweet laugh she growled, "Of course you'd say that! I'm married to his most loyal Death Eater. I don't know why I thought for a moment you were human. I guess I was wrong."
She stood up and was about to leave when Severus caught her wrist. She stopped but didn't turn to face him. Trying to reason with her, he said, "Do you think the Dark Lord would kill her? What he seeks is immortality. A girl can also grant him that."
"You don't get it."
"Then help me understand. You are pregnant! You should be happy!" he exclaimed. "I am happy…"
She faced him at his confession. "Is that so? Do you want to have a daughter?"
He hesitated. Should he reveal his deepest thoughts and feelings? His mind told him it wasn't safe, but the look in his wife's eyes, the one who had managed to make him smile, persuaded him.
"I never wanted children. I'm not good with them. When the Dark Lord asked for an heir I knew I had no choice but to obey. And now… Now I am happy you are with child. My child. Not only to satisfy your father's will but for me."
Skyrah gulped. "If that's true, you have to trust in me. He can't know, or she'll die. He threatened me. He wants a boy. He already has a girl: me."
Severus was speechless. There had only been one day she had shown her vulnerability like she was doing now: it was when she lost her virginity.
"Please! He doesn't know about the potion. This will give us some time. Please! Please, don't tell!"
Terrified as he was to lie about the heir to Voldemort, Severus found himself thinking they could actually win time, considering they both were good occlumens. He wasn't letting his daughter go so easily, so he nodded solemnly. At his response, a bright smile appeared on her pretty face, making all the sadness go away. Her tears were of happiness and relief now, and Skyrah couldn't help but throw herself at him, enfolding him in her arms.
"I knew you weren't bad," she whispered against his chest.
His students wouldn't agree with her, but it felt nice to hear somebody say he was not a bad person. His hands timidly searched her waist. Skyrah looked up at him. He withdrew his hands, feeling like he had overstepped the limits. To his surprise, she tiptoed and leaned in. Oh, Gods! She was going to kiss him. On the mouth. The idea was not repulsing. Not at all. In fact, he became aware of his breathing and pulse, and he bowed his head unconsciously.
His lips hadn't been Skyrah's aim; she pecked his cheek, instead. He opened his eyes in disappointment but let out a shaky breath at the contact anyway. She did keep her lips there for longer than necessary, caressing his cheek. She whispered a thank you, letting her lips brush his cheek one last time before drawing back.
After the intense morning, they cooked together, as always. Skyrah was extra clumsy in the kitchen, most likely because of the news. Not that he blamed her. He was nervous, too.
During the meal, Skyrah suggested taking a walk around the park again to forget about the drama for an hour. Severus was happy to oblige. When they got home, Skyrah had a piece of fruit grudgingly. She wasn't hungry, but he insisted she had to eat something for the baby's sake. He won the battle. While he was finishing dinner, Skyrah told him she'd be reading on the couch.
By the time he joined her, she had already fallen asleep, the book nearly falling off her hands. He took it and left it on a table nearby. Then, he put a rebel lock of hair which was covering her face behind her ear, using it as an excuse for caressing the point where her jaw and her ear met, sometimes brushing her cheek. Her face was relaxed, at peace after the rollercoaster of emotions she had been through. He was glad she was finally resting. He wondered if he would still care for her well-being if he didn't know she was with child. He was afraid of discovering the answer. Hence, he put the thought aside and studied her features under deep scrutiny.
She told him she liked roses. He found himself comparing her to one. Both had thorns - she had a cutting tongue, and she was not afraid to fight. Dangerous. Like her father. Both had petals. Delicate. Soft. Beautiful. He was especially fond of her small refined nose. He would give anything for his daughter to inherit the nose of her mother. Oh, Merlin. He had just found out he was going to be a father, and he already fantasized about his daughter. He was getting carried away. He took his wand and levitated her body with the intention to lead her to their bed. When she touched the mattress, she made a sound and Severus knew she had woken up.
"Severus?"
"Sh. It's been an exhausting day, go back to sleep," he whispered while he took her hand and unwittingly drew a pattern with his thumb on her palm.
"But-"
"No buts. Rest. I will join you later," he said in a soft voice he never imagined he possessed.
She complied, falling asleep with a gentle smile.
Severus went back to the living room. He reclined on the couch and debated whether he should report Albus about the pregnancy. For some reason, he felt like he was betraying Skyrah, hiding this from her. After today's events, after seeing her so worried about their child, he couldn't do it. Waiting a few weeks to tell Albus wouldn't hurt.
His thoughts turned to Skyrah. He found himself caring about the Dark Lord's daughter. It scared him to death and, at the same time, he felt blessed to have somebody in his life who wasn't afraid to touch him. Severus was starting to feel something for that woman, his wife, the future mother of his child. He had never felt anything similar since Lily. It wasn't logical, but that didn't change the fact that he was thrilled to have a daughter with her despite having spent only a few days with Skyrah. He just couldn't understand how someone like her could be Voldemort's daughter. Sure, the woman was as shrewd, intelligent and cunning as her father; but she was also affectionate, funny and compassionate, qualities He-who-must-not-be-named had never shown. Skyrah had even confessed he had threatened her and Severus didn't believe she had lied about that. Voldemort be damned! He wasn't going to lose his only chance at having family because of him.
When he woke up, Skyrah was still sleeping. Her hands were touching his back and he could feel her hot breath on his skin, which made the hair from his nape bristle. Yesterday had been stressful for her. Stress wasn't good for the child. He wanted to do something for her. He wanted her to know she would take care of her and the unborn child. Thus, he prepared some orange juice and cooked pancakes. She adored them the last time he cooked them. He put the food on a tray and went upstairs. She was still asleep.
"Good morning."
Her nostrils dilated. She had woken up. "Pancakes?"
"They are your favorite breakfast, are they not?"
She finally opened her eyes and giggled at the sight of her husband with a tray with of pancakes and some juice.
"Are we going to eat here, on the bed?" she wondered in disbelief.
He raised an eyebrow and teased, "If you have any objection, we may go to the kitchen and sit on those cold hard wooden chairs."
Playing along, she ribbed, "Oh no! I wouldn't want your body to suffer because of those horrible chairs!"
"Pardon? Are you calling me old?" he asked as a smile was threatened to appear on his face.
She was the only one who took the time to joke with him. He appreciated that.
She chuckled. "Just sit next to me, Severus. I can't believe you did this!"
He complied and positioned the tray in front of them. Skyrah slowly turned to him and kissed his cheek.
"Thank you, Severus."
He blushed.
She noticed. She was smirking.
Damn her 'thank you' cheek kisses. They always flustered Severus. Embarrassed, he started to eat. So did Skyrah. When the glasses were empty and the plates only held crumbs, Severus rose up. He was about to took the tray and go to the kitchen to wash the dishes, when Skyrah grabbed his hand and yanked him down.
"What are you doing?"
"I want to cuddle. Do you mind? I thought I might give it a try," she said with a smile.
"A-are you serious?"
Touching someone to comfort them, like holding their hands or hugging them, was one thing. Cuddling just for the sake of it was something he had never done in his life and wouldn't feel comfortable with, for sure. Before he could complain though, Skyrah had already removed the tray so that it wouldn't bother them, settled in between his legs and lay with her head against the crook of his neck and her hands touching his chest. He wasn't holding her. With a frown, she took his stiff arms and wrapped herself in them.
"Better," she purred, closing her eyes.
He was cuddling. In bed. With Voldemort's daughter. She was still in her nightgown. He was completely dressed in his robes. She had her eyes closed, completely relaxed. He let out a breath and shut his eyes. Now he could feel her warmth better, how her body fit against his. The sensation was not unpleasant. He did not feel so lonely, holding her. Soon, he unstiffened. He would have sworn she had smiled against his chest, but the fabric was too thick for him to be certain.
Skyrah shot her head up. His eyes flew open. She looked in trouble. She lifted her hand and stroked his cheek. The contact was so pleasant he gasped and shut his eyes. He didn't even acknowledge that he leaned into her palm, seeking more. She kissed his forehead, then his cheekbones and his nose. The last one got him opening his eyes just in time to see her leaning in. This time, his mouth had been her aim.
They had never kissed before. That forced peck at their wedding hardly counted. Even when they were consummating the marriage, their lips hadn't met. It would have felt way too intimate otherwise. They hadn't been ready. But as she cupped his face and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss, he found he was more than ready to kiss her back. Her fleshy lips were incredibly soft against his thin ones. Severus couldn't help but close his eyes and let out a moan as she opened her mouth, giving him access to explore it. She tasted of pancakes and orange, and it nearly made him smile into the kiss. Just when he was about to put his hands on her back and caress her, she broke the kiss.
Her icy mask was back, reminding him of the first day he saw her. She left the room without looking back, leaving him flustered and disconcerted.
He had just kissed Voldemort's daughter, and he had liked it.