Hope you're still enjoying it, ReSch27 and Shani8!
When they get back to the hotel, as soon as they are back in their room, Wheeler reaches for her wrist and turns her towards him. He steps closer and rests his hands on her hips.
"How long is the pretending everything is perfect supposed to last? I wanna make the most of it," he asks, leaning towards her as if he means to kiss her again.
She pulls back and puts her hands on his chest, grasping at the material of his shirt, but not completely sure as to whether or not she's going to push him away or pull him towards her.
"I wish you knew how hard it is for me to be strong. How hard it is to not just say 'fuck it' and let you take me into your arms and let the night progress into wherever it takes us…to be together in every sense of the word…" She looks into his eyes and can see shock at her rare use of swearing as well as hope building. She hates having to do this. "But I cannot. It would only be temporary and maybe that is ok with you. Take what you can get…but that is not what I want."
"It's not what I want either. Damn it, Linka. I've never wanted temporary. What the fuck do I need to do to prove it? Why can't you just believe me?!"
"If I did not have this problem looming over me, I probably would have said yes to you years ago. Maybe we would already have children and life would be perfect. But that is not the case. I have a medical problem. My infertility is not something I can get past. I told you about it so that you would understand why I have not given into you and so that you can move on with your life. I CANNOT be in a relationship, and I do not want to start something that I know cannot go anywhere. I am not a 'one night stand' kind of girl, and unlike Gi's proposition to you, I cannot have a 'no feelings, no strings attached' relationship."
"I don't want that with you either…so I guess the only thing I can do is help you search for answers. Until you can get some positive news about fertility treatments or until you can accept that there are other ways to be parents, we'll just be in this limbo." He lets her go and grabs his Norse mythology book from the nightstand. "In the meantime, read about Freyja. I'll tell you about my latest desperate attempt at a miracle later. This one might be even crazier than the miracle water, but just humor me, ok?"
"I am not disregarding any attempt at a cure…and I love that you are trying so hard to find one with me. I know it is not just because you think our future is at stake. You would want this for me even if you thought there was nothing in it for you."
"Your happiness matters to me more than my own," he says as he walks away to begin getting ready for bed.
"Jason…"
She takes his hand to stop him and stretches up to kiss his cheek.
"Tonight really was perfect. I was not pretending either."
He smiles. It's a slight consolation.
The next day...
"This feels weird," Linka says skeptically.
"I know…but we dunked ourselves in miracle water and bought bottles of it to take home to drink…we crossed the line for 'normal medical treatment' already. What's another shot in the dark?"
"The other one did not involve an 'altar' and candles and sacrifices to a Norse goddess. It feels sacrilegious."
"They're 'offerings,' not sacrifices. Put your Jörgunmundr ring in the middle too with the flowers, honey, apples, and strawberries," Wheeler instructs.
"Why?"
"Because we don't have pork and that was one of the other food items. Freyja likes jewelry. Didn't you read about her necklace in the book last night?"
"Da, that was terrible…but when we take the food and flowers outside to be 'consumed by nature,' I am not leaving my new ring."
"No, you can take that back…but maybe when we are summoning her to help, she might put some kinda mojo on the ring and then you'll have it when you're wearing it."
"Bozhe moy, I do not believe we are even having this conversation."
"Don't be negative! You have to believe. I'm having a hard time getting past the ridiculousness of it all too…but we also said we'd try anything."
"Da, ok…but there are some cultures that believe that rhino horn or other animal byproducts are cures for infertility and impotence and we are NOT supporting any practices that involve killing animals for such foolish beliefs."
"Of course not. That's all total bullshit. Rhino horn is made of the same material as hair and fingernails…just chew on your fingernails and call it good." The stupidity of mankind blows his mind. He heaves a sigh to rid himself of any negativity and focuses on the task at hand. "Ok, the altar is all set. Ready with the frankincense to cleanse the altar?"
"Da," she says, lighting the small chunk of resin.
"Time to light the candles…do you have the card I gave you with the verses to say?"
"Da."
"Alright. Let's do this."
She looks at the card and begins to read:
"'I call upon the powers of the East, powers of air to help me clear my mind. I call upon the powers of the South, powers of…fire,'" she raises her eyebrow at him. He shrugs, not having read the verse before, he had no idea their powers would be involved. She continues. "'inspiring me of my inner strength. I call upon the powers of the West, powers of water which reunite me with the Mother's blood. I call upon the powers of the North, powers of the Earth to keep my body strong and my mind concentrate.' What? No power of heart? Am I summoning a Norse goddess or Captain Planet?"
"Shh, be serious."
"Where did you say you got this?"
"A shop at the market." He looks down at the directions and prompts her. "Read the next part to invoke the spirit of Freyja."
"This seems like a seance."
"Read!"
She huffs and continues,
"'Freyja, goddess of magic, mother of the Earth, keeper of the runes, I invite you to join me. Freyja, the goddess of the many names, goddess of nature and fertility, mother of the silver moon, hear me. Freyja, goddess of love, join me. Freyja, your guidance and prudence, I seek. Come to me now.'" She sets the card down and looks up at him. "Now what?"
"Now we thank her for all of her blessings and help," he says, reading off the instructions.
"Umm…thank you for your consideration in assisting me with this matter."
"Jesus Christ, Linka…you sound like you're signing off on an email," he teases.
"Thank you for giving me the strength to tolerate this insufferable Yankee…"
"You're not taking this seriously. C'mon. This kit cost me fifty bucks."
She tries again, not wanting to dismiss his efforts…or anger the Norse goddess, just in case.
"Thank you for my friends, the true elements of the world. For the Planeteers. For Gaia, Mother Earth…my family. But especially my friend Wheeler, who has done so much for me and is willing to go through extreme lengths for me."
"Now we meditate. Give me your hands."
They sit facing each other and hold hands in quiet reflection, each silently hoping that there is something that can come of this. Linka wants to remain optimistic but feels like she'd have been better off just asking Gaia to "fix her" if she's going to rely on spirits of goddesses for help.
Wheeler releases her hands and opens his eyes.
"Thank you, Freyja."
Seeing how serious he is about this, she also thanks the goddess and awaits the next instructions from Wheeler.
"Next, we take the offerings outside. Don't forget to get your ring back though."
Linka takes the plate of fruit, flowers, and honey outside and scrapes them onto the ground right outside the tree line of the woods. She hears a bird cawing from above and when she looks up, sees two black birds eyeing them.
"Guess the crows will enjoy this," Wheeler says from beside her.
"Da, but they are ravens."
"Ravens? Odin had two ravens. Huginn and Muninn. They flew around the world and reported back to him what they saw. How cool is it that they stopped by?"
"You really are learning a lot from your book," she says, impressed. She looks up at the pair and says, "Enjoy, my friends."
A wailing sound above them draws their attention and sends the ravens flying. They are replaced by another bird.
"Looks like someone else is interested in the food," Wheeler says.
"Nyet, that is a falcon. They only eat meat because their digestive systems cannot break down plants."
"Oh no…I should've got pork."
"It is ok, Yankee. She knows that something else will be though and they will end up being her meal…maybe we should not leave this here. I know it is part of nature and the circle of life, but I feel we have set a trap for the small creatures and other birds that may end up enjoying this, unaware that it is their last meal."
"Yeah, but if this is supposed to be an offering to Freyja, we should've had pork since that's Freyja," he says pointing at the avian who is watching them so intently and chirping.
"You think that is Freyja?"
"Of course it is. Her cloak of falcon feathers allowed her to turn into a falcon and fly. Jonas told me yesterday when I bought your necklace. The kit worked! Definitely worth the fifty bucks!"
She reaches up to hold the amber pendant that he bought her yesterday, smiles at his enthusiasm, and has to admit, it is a pretty cool coincidence. She looks up at the bird and asks,
"Freyja, if we leave this here, will you leave the critters that come to eat this alone? Let them eat in peace and enjoy it?"
The falcon cocks her head as if she's considering Linka's plea, gives a high-pitched screech, and takes off.
"Guess that's a 'yes?'" Wheeler says as they both watch the bird quickly fly away. "Damn, that's a fast bird."
"Da, they are known for their speed," she says admiringly as she watches it disappear.
"Speaking of food, you about ready to grab a bite?"
"Da, I was tempted to sneak a strawberry or apple slice from the altar!"
Later that evening…
"I think I have found where I'd like to go next," Linka says from across the table where they were having dinner.
"Great, where are we headed?"
"England."
"Cool…Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, or, knowing you, something to do with Shakespeare? So what'cha wanna see?" He asks.
"A doctor."
"Like…Doctor Who?"
"Doctor Sullivan."
"No Babe, it's…never mind…so I take it you've been doing some research and found something?"
"Da. He is a fertility doctor who has had much success harvesting eggs, fertilizing them, and implanting them…I would be able to carry my own child."
"Awesome! And uh, you know I'm still there for you…for you know…whatever you need…the offer still stands…if you still want."
She knows what he's referring to and she's grateful for his willingness and for the fact that he isn't coming right out and saying it.
"Da…I would like that. Spasiba."
"So, we leave tomorrow?"
"Da, I would like to get there as soon as possible. I think this is my last chance and the sooner I have answers, the faster I can get on with my life."
"Yeah."
Her words sting a little, although he knows she didn't mean for them to be hurtful. He has just been enjoying their time together during their travels. As much as he wants Linka to find what she's looking for, he will be sad when it is all over and things go back to normal between them on Hope Island.
To Be Continued…