Chapter 18

Severus woke up with a still asleep Skyrah in his arms. Her mouth was slightly open and he could feel her hot breath against his neck and her naked skin against his, sending shivers down his spine. He wanted to wake up like this forever. He couldn't help but remember last night's events with a small grin on his face, kept hearing her voice say Severus, I love you, over and over again, like a chant. He tightened his grip on her, pulling her out of her sleep without even realizing it or intending to. He felt her snuggling her nose in the crook of his neck, her eyelashes tickling his skin.

"G'morning," she purred.

He raised his hand and sweetly caressed her cheek before muttering a good morning. Surprised as she was for the display of affection, she sure did not complain.

"Last night was… absolutely perfect. It was one of the best nights of my life."

Severus felt his heart beating so strongly he was sure it would jump out of his chest.

"It was the best night of my life," he confessed in his silky voice.

Skyrah's breath fastened. Her eyes clouded. She took his other hand and kissed his palm without breaking eye contact when she realized that it had meant a lot to him too.

"I don't want to get up," she whispered, kissing his scarred shoulder and nuzzling into him.

"Neither do I."

So they stayed in bed, cuddling, talking about nothing. He had never felt so at peace and content. Only when Skyrah said she was hungry, did the Snapes rise up. That was when Severus spotted two love bites he had left on her. One, on the crook of her neck. The other, on her breast. He hadn't meant to mark her like that.

"Was I too rough?"

He touched his neck and chest, mirroring the location of her love bites. She looked down on herself, then looked at him and grinned impishly.

"Not rougher than I was with you," she joked, touching one point under his chin. "I enjoyed every minute of it... Didn't you?"

"I... I did. I do not like the appearance, though. They... My mother... Tobias... They look too much like..."

He cursed himself for stuttering like a fool, and looked away. Skyrah looked at him sadly. She knew Tobias used to beat little Severus. She guessed his mother was also abused, and love bites looked like bruises.

"You did not hurt me. These are not signs of violence. These only mean we got a bit carried away while we were making love. Making love, Severus, not fighting. I did not intend for you to have a love bite, and I did not know I would wake up with these," she said, pointing at her neck and breast. "These things happen. It's okay. They have a solution." She took her wand out and concealed their love bites with a charm. "I will be more careful and stop before either of us gets love bites, if they make you feel uncomfortable."

"I'd rather you didn't. I meant it when I said I enjoyed it... You will have to teach me that charm. I expect to have many reasons to use it from now on."

That got Skyrah laughing. "Oh, you will!"

Severus smiled a genuine smile.

Severus was engaged in conversation with Harry while Skyrah took a shower.

"Why are you making pancakes?"

"Because Skyrah loves them," Severus replied, a bit annoyed by his nosy behavior.

The smell made Harry's mouth water and he couldn't wait to taste them. Living with the Snapes had its perks. He got to eat delicious meals. Severus was a git, a git who could cook.

"Can I have some?"

"May I. Watch your language."

Harry was about to retort that Skyrah used the word bloody quite a lot (which, in his opinion, was way worse than using can instead of may) and that he didn't seem to mind about her language usage, but Harry wisely kept his thought to himself.

"May I have some?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I only have ingredients for one person," he responded as an ultimatum while he put the now ready-to-eat pancakes on a plate.

Harry pouted. Before he could offer to go and buy some more, footsteps were heard. Severus turned around, expecting to see Skyrah bouncing, excited for the pancakes. Instead, she wrinkled her nose, covered her mouth and rushed upstairs. Harry and Severus exchanged a confused look.

"Wait here. Do not touch the pancakes!" Harry heard Severus shout as he disappeared after his wife.

Severus found her in the bathroom. Vomiting. Alarmed, he kneeled down beside her and patted her back a little awkwardly.

"Bloody pancakes!" she spat once she was done.

Her husband frowned.

"My pancakes made you vomit?! I thought you loved them!"

"I did! But the smell is just…"

She made signs with her hands because she couldn't find a better word to describe the odor than yuck.

"Are you okay?"

The voice belonged to Harry.

"Potter, I told you to wait downstairs. Are you incapable of obeying such a simple instruction?"

The boy wanted to reply with a sassy comment but he bit his tongue. He could see that Skyrah was sweating. She looked slightly paler than normal and by the position she was in, he would have guessed that she had just been sick. Worry rose through his veins.

Severus sighed and ordered him to bring a glass of water. When they were left alone, Severus put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I was the one who made you feel sick. If I had known I-"

Skyrah put her fingers on his lips to silence him. "Not your fault. You only wanted to make me happy by preparing my now former favorite breakfast. It's actually a very sweet gesture." He was about to protest about her insistence on calling him sweet, but she didn't let him. "I guess it's my pregnancy. Smell and taste change."

"I'm still sorry."

Skyrah sighed. "I'm exhausted. I don't want to argue, so I'll tell you only once more: it was not your bloody fault. And you better make sure that I don't hear you apologizing for trying to be the best husband I could have ever asked for ever again."

Even though she had intended to use a stern tone, her voice had sounded frail. She hadn't been exaggerating when she claimed she was exhausted. Severus took her hand, trying to pass on his strength to her. Skyrah smiled weakly at him.

By the time Harry came back, Severus was hugging Skyrah from behind. Severus almost looked human embracing his wife like that. It was not the first time Harry had seen them being affectionate with each other. In fact, he still recalled that one passionate kiss on the couch. That had been an accident. This was different. They knew he would be back and they still hugged. Had something changed? He cleared his throat. Severus set Skyrah free. Harry offered Skyrah the glass. She rinsed and spit the water in the sink and started to brush her teeth.

"Go away, Potter."

"But-"

"I told you to go away!"

Unwillingly, he did as told. Skyrah had already finished and Severus put a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you feeling better?"

She shrugged. "The nauseas have passed, if that's what you mean…"

"But?"

"But I have a horrible headache and I am still exhausted."

"Do you think you can stomach some food?"

She bit her lip and shook her head.

"You have to eat something," he murmured, looking pointedly at her belly.

"I will probably throw it up."

Severus gave it some thought and finally conceded, "Rest now. I'll take care of the house and Harry. Just promise me you'll eat something for lunch."

Skyrah nodded and went to lie down. Severus tucked her into bed as if she was a child and kissed her forehead with a new found tenderness in him.

"I'll give you a potion against headaches. Whenever you feel you can stomach it, drink it. I must advise you, though; it smells awful, even to not-pregnant people," he whispered as he pulled a rebel lock of black hair behind her ear.

Severus left his wife alone and came back with the potion. He left it on the nightstand.

"Thank you for looking after me," she mumbled as she grabbed his hand before he could go.

Severus squeezed her hand in response.

"How is she?" asked Harry the moment he spotted his Professor.

Severus was taken aback by the feelings he could see in those familiar green eyes. The boy genuinely cared for Skyrah.

"She is in bed. Don't bother her. I know you had an Occlumency class with her after breakfast, but she is not feeling well. I will take her place."

Harry wanted to complain, but he had no choice. Severus would teach him, today.

"Will she recover quickly?"

"I think so." Severus paused. "Have the pancakes, Potter. She will not be eating them."

That was enough to cheer Harry up. His good mood did not last long. Occlumency lessons with Severus produced that effect on him.

"I'll never learn! I'm tired of this!"

"You surely will not learn with that attitude, Potter! You-know-who must not enter your mind. Stop whining. Concentrate. Conceal your emotions. 1, 2, 3. Legilimens!"

Severus was inside Harry's mind. He viewed scenes of the abuse: Petunia starving a six-year-old Harry and locking him in the cupboard, Dudley beating him up and Vernon yelling at him for being a freak. Harry had had enough. He didn't want his Professor to be a spectator of the mistreatment he had received. He cast protego without realizing it.

The images changed.

They weren't about Harry but about a greasy-haired boy with a hooked nose. Harry immediately recognized him as young Severus. He appeared to be at Hogwarts. Someone who looked a lot like Harry cast a spell he had never heard of. Severus was hoisted in the air by his ankle. Harry saw how that boy who resembled him was encouraged by his friends and other people. He witnessed as they sexually harassed the person who had saved him from the Dursleys.

He felt himself being pushed out of the memories.

"Get. Out." Even though Severus hid his face behind a curtain of black hair, his voice expressed all his feelings. "Now!"

Harry left, panting. Deep down, he knew that the bully was his father and that those guys cheering him were the marauders. He felt sick on his way upstairs. If Severus found out, he'd curse him. But in that moment his heart told him to talk to Skyrah. The door was open. She had her eyes shut, but when he took a step forward to see if she was asleep, she opened them.

"Harry, sweetheart, is everything okay? You look agitated."

Harry fidgeted and ran a hand through his messy hair, turning it messier. She sat down slowly and motioned for him to sit next to her, which he did. At first, he didn't speak. Skyrah didn't pressure him. She only took his hand.

"Are you feeling better?" he wondered.

"I appreciate that you care for me, but don't change the subject. You should be learning Occlumency, now. Something wrong happened."

There was a short pause. Harry both loved and hated that Skyrah was so perspicacious.

"Everybody's always told me how great my father was… The only one who was brave enough to tell me the truth was Snape: my father was a bully."

His whole world was falling down. Everything he had believed had turned out to be a lie. He could feel his eyes getting tearful.

Skyrah still felt a little tired, and truth be told, she hadn't dared to drink the potion against headaches, so she wasn't feeling that well yet. Nevertheless, she tried to comfort the boy to the best of her abilities.

"What makes you say so, Harry?"

"I've seen it."

"How?"

"I entered Snape's mind... But it was an accident! I swear! It wasn't my intention!"

Skyrah sighed and cupped his face.

"I never met your parents, so I know close to nothing about them. What I do know is that, if other people say that your father was great, there must be some truth in that."

"Yeah, harassing people is so admirable," he said sarcastically as a tear slid down his cheek.

Skyrah smiled sadly.

"You are right. There is nothing to admire in harassment. However, it doesn't mean that everything your father was can be restricted to the word bully. All of us have good and bad within us. We make mistakes. Your father wasn't any different. The fact that you have discovered what kind of bad things he did does not erase his good qualities. He fought to save you because he loved you. That's good, isn't it?"

He sniffled. "So I should forget what I've seen and only remember that he loved me?"

"No. It's not that simple."

"Then what do you expect me to do?"

"I expect you to remember the good and the bad and understand that nobody is perfect. Do not judge your father. Do not judge Severus."

Harry gulped and nodded. Her words made sense, after all. They made him feel better.

"Oi, come here," she said, holding out her arms.

Harry threw himself at her, letting her hold him.

"You should apologize to my husband and talk to him about it."

He shook his head. "He'll kill me if I bring it up. He'll kill me if he finds out I've come to you when he made it clear this morning that I shouldn't bother you."

"You don't bother me," she said, breaking the embrace.

He snorted. "Tell him that because I'm sure he won't believe me if I do."

"You don't know that."

He still didn't look convinced. "C-can you talk to him before I bring up the t-topic?"

"If that calms you down, then I will."

Harry thanked her with a small smile.

Severus was awfully quiet during lunch time. He only asked about his wife's well-being. Even though the nauseas had passed, she ate lightly. Harry averted their gazes. It had been even more awkward than the first time they had had dinner. Severus washed the dishes once they were done. Skyrah winked at the boy and approached her husband.

"Severus?" He hummed, washing the last dish. "Can we talk?"

"Not in the mood."

"I know what's happened," she replied bluntly.

They stared at each other for the longest time until he made to leave. Skyrah quickly grabbed his wrist and spun him around.

"It was an accident. He didn't mean to enter your mind. You know that, right?"

He snorted. "So you're defending him now? I was the one whose privacy wasn't respected!"

"We've been witnessing Harry's abuse for weeks! His privacy wasn't respected either."

He looked hurt. Skyrah felt a lump forming in her throat. She didn't want to hurt him.

"You really are defending Potter. What a kind gesture coming from my wife!"

Skyrah swallowed the hurt his last ironic sentence had evoked.

"I'm trying to help you! You're not seeing things with clarity. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling right now, but the boy was crying! He thought everybody had lied to him except you! He thought his father was a bully!"

"That's because his father was a bully! And I ordered him not to bother you. The brat can't leave you alone even when you're sick in bed!"

Although he was hurt, he still cared about her well-being. The fact moved Skyrah to the point she almost kissed his cheek.

"Severus, I appreciate that you care for me, so much."

"But?"

"His whole world fell apart. Can't you see? He saw his father, his hero, bullying the Professor he has hated all these years… It was shocking. He needed help. You need help. That's why I am here, okay?"

She squeezed his hand by the end of her discourse. Her touch calmed him down.

"What did you do when he came to you?"

"I told him that his father was human, like all of us, and that he made some mistakes; but those bad things do not erase the good ones. I asked him not to judge and to apologize and talk to you."

He lowered his head as if he wanted this conversation to end, yet kept holding her hand as if he wanted her to stay and needed somebody to listen to him. She cupped his chin with her free hand, locking their gazes.

"Are you all right?"

"I..." He took a big breath. "It was my worst memory… Of all the things he could have witnessed, he had to see that."

"May I know what the memory is about?" she wondered, tangling their fingers.

He pondered not telling her, still embarrassed, but she already knew he had called Lily a mudblood, and she hadn't judged him. Heck, she had seen him at his worst, yesterday night, and still found him attractive enough to make love to him, to love him.

"James Potter and his crew were humiliating me. I pulled Potter out before he could see Lily, before he could see me calling her that horrible word after she defended me."

Her expression softened. She understood why he had reacted that way. No words would console him, so she hugged him. He froze for a second, but then he hid his hair and put his arms around her, bringing her closer.

"You two need to talk about it, for your sake. I know you can do it. You are strong, Severus."

Severus tightened his grip on her, eliciting a soft smile from her.

"Do you want me to be by your side when you discuss it?"

"No. I must do this alone."

"Good. I'll go drink that bloody potion."

"You haven't yet?" he asked worriedly, breaking the embrace.

"I didn't trust my stomach," she replied with a shrug.

How could one be relieved yet nervous at the same time? Harry did not know, but he felt like that while sitting on the couch, close to Severus. The chat that was about to take place was necessary, but it could leave their relationship even more complicated than it already was. After knowing Severus had been bullied by his father and his friends, he did not wish that.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to intrude your memories."

Nobody would be able to tell Severus was surprised by the boy's honesty. His face betrayed nothing. A pause followed. The longer it became, the more uneasy Harry grew. And then, he heard it, that silky, monotone voice.

"Apology accepted."

"But I'm really sor- Wait, what?"

"Are you deaf now?"

Harry gulped. The total git had accepted his apology. Well, maybe he was just a git, without the total.

"Why hasn't anyone told me that my father was a bully?" Harry asked, voice small.

If Severus hadn't looked him in the eye, he would have left and finished this uncomfortable conversation.

But he did look at his eyes, her eyes, and the vulnerability they held got him saying, "When people are no longer in this world, we tend to remember the best, not the worst. Your father was a bully, but I had my share, too."

Harry snorted. "Yes, four against one. How brave. Not even Malfoy does that." He rubbed his nape. "Am I really so much like my father?"

If Harry had asked him that last year, he wouldn't have doubted it: Harry was a mini-James. However, now that he knew about his past and that he had been living with him, that answer felt wrong. Harry was just a boy, a sometimes insolent one at that, but a boy nonetheless.

"You are your own person, Harry. Not your father, not your mother. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to see it."

Severus was even more surprised at his answer than Harry himself, who was agape and with wide eyes. He always used his surname, never his first name. Harry shook his head, as if trying to move past it and wondered, "So you knew my mother... Was she a bully as well?"

Severus's eyes widened and he felt his hands sweating. Lily was the last topic he wanted to discuss with the boy. Nevertheless, he couldn't let Harry think his mother was like James.

"No. She was far from a bully."

"Can you tell me about her?"

"Could."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Could you tell me about her?"

It seemed like forever until Severus murmured, "Someday."

Harry beamed. "Do you promise?"

"I promise."

Harry would have preferred to know about her right then. Severus was no liar, though. Harry had learned that today. Severus would tell him when the time is right, and that was everything that mattered to the boy.

A hoot.

Harry blanched. Just when everything was going fine, Hedwig had to arrive with a letter and ruin it. Now Severus would uncover his secret and kill him.

With squinting eyes, Severus growled, "Whom have you been owling, Potter? Who knows you're living here?"

Harry cringed. Back to surnames again. He had spoiled any chance to have a decent relationship with his Professor.