Icekit couldn't help noticing how happier Silverfang was now that she was no longer her responsibility. Her mother was more focused on things as she returned to her warrior duties. She was grateful that she no longer had the tabby queen's wrath, but it ached to be ignored by her completely. Icekit was still her daughter. She had hoped to gain a little of her mother's love and failed. It made her sick to her stomach. The tabby was in conversation with Cloudwing while he looked at her with admiration. Icekit almosted wanted to tell the tom what he was wasting his time liking Silverfang. She was a heartless creature who couldn't even care for her own kit. Would she hate Cloudwing's kits too? Or whoever fell into her claws next? She glared at them, not caring if they could tell. Jealousy stung her like a wasp.

Her Clanmates were all close and she didn't have someone she called a friend. Paleflower and her kits spend more time with the elders. And she couldn't stand Beetlepaw and Thistlepaw still talk about how much they adored Swanpaw. They ignored her now. Which left her even more irritable lately.

Icekit had spent the last quarter-moon trying to see that black cat again. The cat with moonlike eyes. The StarClan cat had glanced warmly at her as if she was giving incouragement. She had come when Icekit was at her lowest. The thought is what gave her hope. A cat did care about her if they watched over her. But her happiness turned to dust when she noticed Swanpaw and Poppypaw prowl over to her like predators. And Icekit was their prey.

"You're still alive, Cursedkit?" Swanpaw huffed. "I thought maybe a tree would have crashed down on you by now."

"Yeah," Poppypaw poked her. "Or maybe a hawk would swallow you whole!"

"Not like she can hide from hawks," Swanpaw flicked a paw. "You stand out like crowfood."

"We have the same fur color," Icekit replied. "Stupidpaw."

"Oh, I'm scared," Swanpaw fake-gasped. "I know how to hide. Maybe I could teach you so that you don't become an embarrassment to WindClan. Oh, wait! It's too late!"

"Too late!" Poppypaw echoed.

"I'm not an embarrassment," Icekit growled. "Now get out of my way."

"Or what?" Swanpaw challenged. "I'm the best fighter among the apprentices and you are just a friendless and useless kit!"

"That's enough, you three," The apprentices turned to see Amberfur come up to them, their own mentors, Ivyheart and Lichenpelt, following the golden tabby. "Lichenpelt, take Swanpaw and Poppypaw with you to train to work off that energy. Ivyheart, we can report the dog to Dovestar."

"What dog?" Icekit asked as Swanpaw and Poppypaw disappeared with Swanpaw's mentor, gloating at her along the way.

Ivyheart ignored her and went with Amberfur. But Icekit caught the ginger she-cat whisper, "Dumb kit."

"She's just curious," Amberfur whispered as they vanished into Dovestar's den.

Icekit noticed Hawkpaw laying outside of the apprentices' den and felt her ears heat up.

"Just ignore Swanpaw," He padded over to sit next to her and she felt her tongue grow heavy. She never knew what to say to him. "She's just jealous."

"Of me?" She tilted her head at him. "At the cursed, friendless, ugly outsider? She has everything she wants and I have nothing. What is there to be jealous of?"

"You are more beautiful than her," his green stare was captivating and she was drawn into him. "I heard Beetlepaw say so too and he adores Swanpaw. So I got a little jealous myself."

Icekit felt as though her ears were on fire and her heart pounded like prey. Hawkpaw looked away bashfully as his words sunk in. Hawkpaw liked her and not Swanpaw. He thought she was more beautiful. Hope filled her again and she nodded at him, "I like you too."

"I'm so glad," he pressed his nose to hers. "You're almost an apprentice and I've already made a nest for you. Away from Swanpaw."

"Thank you." She was touched. She had a friend after all. And a mate for the future. They'd spend moons together, first as apprentice. Then as warriors. Maybe even have kits together. She'd finally find a place in WindClan with a strong mate by her side. And Swanpaw would be jealous of her even more.

"Anything for you," He brushed his tail over her side.

Icekit felt refreshed for the next day after his confession. Not even the elders' complaining about her being in their den could make her down. She was settled between Paleflower's kits while Needledust cleaned Shelldawn's fur.

"Shadepaw was a wicked little cat. She led a group of foxes into camp to trick her leader into giving her a warrior name."

"What happened next?" Grasskit breathed out.

"The medicine cat exposed her," Shelldawn explained. "And that's what cost him his life."

"What do you mean?" Weaselkit's eyes were huge.

"She killed their medicine cat!" Shelldawn hissed. "A terrible crime. To kill your Clan's only healer is the act of a heartless traitor. However, Shadepaw paid for her crimes. Oh, yes she did. Water will drown any cat that gets too deep."

"Eek!" Grasskit squeaked.

"You kits don't need to worry," Needledust smoothly replied. "You have the whole Clan for protection."

"No evil Shadepaw?" Weaselkit asked. "No dangerous water?"

"Of course not," Stagfur purred. "There have been no WindClan cats drowning lately. No dead medicine cats. Shelldawn, you're going to give these three kits nightmares."

Not me.

Icekit felt a little bad for the apprentice in the story. She had only wanted to be brave for her Clan. Was she a loner too? Ignored by her Clanmates like Icekit? Would the need for attention drive her that far too? Was that her future? Dead in a body of water, leaving only her name behind her?

She wouldn't let that happen. Her future with Hawkpaw would stop that one. The other kits settled back down for more stories but she couldn't listen to anymore. She laid in her nest with her thoughts racing. She was going to survive, even if it meant putting up with the rest of WindClan. Being a warrior was her birthright. Even if she had to go as far as Shadepaw did. However, she was different. There was no way she'd be able to kill Marshleaf, even if the medicine cat drove her made. It was impossible to imagine.

"I'm going to be a warrior," She whispered so that the queens and their kits wouldn't wake up. "I'm not going to drown."