Thank you soo much for giving me the best smile when I woke up to so many reviews…
I always find myself excited to read them and sometime end up reading them more than once, I am sorry for not replying to the previous one, I was sick and sleepy by the time I finished the previous chapter. Hopefully I will have the energy to reply to every single one of them this time XD
The reason for the delay will be in the author note after the chapter.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ Continuation ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
After shoving the wig and lenses in the pouch, Zero got back in his car and gripped the steering wheel while taking a shuddering breath. Squeezing his eyes shut, he kept mumbling to himself
"This can't be happening!"
"This can't be happening!"
"This can't be happening!"
"This can't be happening!"
"Fuck! Damnit!" Finally losing his cool and banged his fist against the innocent vehicle.
Resting his forehead on the steering wheel, he tried to even out his ragged breath as his anxiety soared to no end.
"Why does it have to turn all wrong whenever I try to do the fucking right choice for once?"
A memory of the conversation he had with Gin last night resurfaced.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ flashback ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
Zero stirred in the middle of the night, feeling sick again. He intended to walk into the bathroom and gurgle only to end up throwing up as soon as the water pressed on the back of his throat.
The retching woke the sleeping teacher who stumbled into the bathroom, clumsily rubbing Zero's back as he squinted his sleepy eyes.
"You need to get yourself checked, Zero…" Gin spoke as he passed the towel to the hunter after he washed his face, "Should I drive you to the hospital now?" He suggested after washing his own to be more awake.
"No." Zero mumbled, "It is not that big of a deal, I will go tomorrow whenever I have time, I just want to lie down now." he added as he got back to bed with Gin following him.
Seeing that he was still keeping his distance but facing him this time, Gin stared at the dazed hunter who was lost in his thoughts.
"Are you still bothered?" The human asked.
"Not really. It must have been my neglect to drink enough pills before going that made me attack Ichiru. I just… I hate it whenever it happens." Zero buried his face in the pillow, letting out a frustrated sound.
"Sorry for throwing that bottle on you, that must have hurt." Gin winced at the memory.
The chuckling hunter finally looked sideway, "I am glad you did it, and no… I think I was in such trance that I did not feel the pain if it actually hurt."
"Good then." Gin sighed in relief as he crossed his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. A long moment of silent stretched to the point he thought that Zero fell asleep, but he startled when the hunter spoke again.
"I don't want to be like this anymore…"
"Hmm?"
"All I ever do is hurt and trouble those around me." Zero spoke as if talking to himself, "I can't do this anymore…"
Gin did not utter a word, not wanting to interrupt the hunter who seemed like he needed him to listen more than talk.
"I felt so empty… Alone. I used to be fine on my own… No, I used to like being alone after losing my family and thinking that Ichiru died as well…" Zero clutched the pillow, remembering the shock and mixed feelings he felt when he found his brother alive again, "But I don't… I can't lose him… or anyone else anymore… I don't want that."
Gin shifted to lie on his side, facing the hunter… "You won't… You're no saint Zero, none of us is. We are bound to make mistakes… Hurt each other… But it is the ability to forgive and move on that allows us to stick together, right? It might be arrogant of me to say this, but I do not think your brother would ever want to cut off ties with you for any reason."
"He might, one day… As long as I am this wretched, everyone will realize that they are better without me in their life, eventually…"
"Now that is just your low self-esteem talking." Gin pointed.
"Quit it with that jargon, will you… I am talking seriously here."
"So am I… Okay, so… What are you getting at?" Gin shrugged.
Zero remained silent for a while, "I want to change… for the better…"
Gin smiled at the timid way that Zero voiced his wish, the honesty in those amethyst eyes almost blinded him with its shine.
"You can…" The answer made Zero look into the grey eyes that bored into his, "You can, if you really want to… However," Gin extended a hand to pinch Zero's nose bridge and retracting it again, "You've got to do to feel good about yourself for it to be worth it, you do not have to change to please others and abide by their expectation."
Zero gave him a mildly surprised look, not expecting such an answer. If it was anyone else, they would start lecturing about the points in his lifestyle that needed changing and habits he needed to quit.
"Hmm… Wise words, old man!" the hunter teased as he stretched and stood to drink more water from the glass that Gin brought him earlier, unaware of how the grey eyes following the flexing of the tight muscles of his abdomen as he moved.
"Do you have any more interesting advices?!" Zero teased
"Let see…" Gin rubbed his non-existent beard, "Just take things one step at a time and rely on others when you feel like you're falling back in the habits you want to get rid of."
Zero slid back under the covers and gave Gin a small smile, "You're really good at this."
"What?"
"Giving a positive push…"
"ooh… So I got promoted to being a good friend?" Gin wiggled his eyebrows, "Since I have always been the annoying nag following you around."
The words and action made Zero laugh hard, forgetting his predicament for a moment, before Gin talked again.
"So will you be kind enough to quit it with the valley between us, the chill is really getting to me every time you move the covers."
Zero pursed his lips as a response. The ethic teacher exhaled and tried to sound as humorous as possible, "Do you feel like having me as a midnight snack?"
"Heck no!" Zero bellowed.
"Then it's all good. You did drink a lot of blood pills. If you are still unsure go have more and come back to get some proper sleep." Gin pointed to the metallic case lying on the nightstand.
Almost shyly, Zero scooted from the edge of the bed to get closer to the bulky man occupying the other half of it. Pulling him in a bear hug, Gin kissed the silver head, "Now get some rest to tackle a bright new day with that resolve of yours."
Zero scoffed as he enjoyed the warmth, "You need know that what happened today was your fault to begin with."
"Pardon?" Gin tilted his head back to see a mischievous glint in violet orbs.
"The reason Ichiru pulled at my ear was because of you."
"How so?" Gin was confused by the flat tone Zero had that soon turned humorous and sarcastic.
"We were talking about how good of a friend material you are, since Ichiru always enjoys seeing me with more people for some reason."
"That would be because you are such a lone wolfie."
Zero frowned, "wolfie?"
"Making it cuter." Gin winked.
"Geh!"
"You're welcome… And how did it escalate from that?" Gin urged the hunter to continue.
"I was telling him that you would make some good boyfriend material."
"You didn't!" Gin exclaimed in disbelief.
"I did." Zero confirmed, looking at Gin with a smirk on his face.
"And you were joking, of course!" Gin deadpanned, not letting his hopes up any more.
"Why do you assume that so fast as well?" Zero gave a fake pout.
Gin grabbed and pulled the lower lip, "Because I learned how much of a prankster you can be when you are in that kind of mood, brat."
"Tch! No fun." Zero grumbled, nursing his lip that Gin let go of.
"Come back when you are serious and I will show you what fun is really like." Gin poked his cheek before pulling the covers over Zero's shoulder to urge him to sleep like a child.
"Trust me, you would not want a boyfriend with a huge burden like mine as a bonus." Zero mumbled, his eyes drooping slightly as sleep started to claim him.
"We all have a certain luggage we carry from our past, Zero! Don't be too harsh on yourself…" Gin whispered, "No matter how heavy the burden might get, I will take it all and be happy if the time comes."
"Optimistic much!" Zero snorted, "Why do you care so much anyways. To be honest, if I was in the right mood I would have kicked your ass when you came over yesterday. Why did you bother with the fight between brothers that much? It really bugged me how you would be pacifying things every time we bickered in your presence."
After a long yawn, Gin answered in a slurry voice, "Let us say that I did not have the best experiences of an early childhood that any normal kid would have gone through to the point that it was hard to bond with others at some point. However, I was taught later the importance of the family bond. I saw the ideal sibling's relationship in the one you have with your brother. However, instead of feeling jealous or envious of what the both of you have, I found myself wanting to protect it somehow. I am sure that I am not the only one." Gin rambled and waited for the hunter to respond, but nothing came forth.
Glancing at the silverette, he found that he was already asleep, clutching his shirt as if to prevent him from going away.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ end of flashback ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
While leaning against the steering wheel, Zero stared at his flat stomach.
"Why did you have to be such a survivor in there, and now your dad is blocking all routes for me to prevent the worst from happening. I am sorry, but I can't do this… I can't involve him… I can't let him back in my life again… This needs to be done for both our sakes…" He mumbled as he poked his stomach, his throat tightening as he tried to take a deep breath before driving away.
Back in his apartment, Zero found Gin in the kitchen, looking groggy as he was making coffee.
The hunter steeled his nerves and put on a poker face to hide his turmoil before the man turned to greet him. The poker face soon vanished in favor of an uncharacteristically hilarious laughter, "God! Your hair…" Zero pointed to the dark blue locks at the front that stood like the crown of a rooster.
Gin was surprised for a second until he actually saw his reflection on the metallic fridge, "Oh man! Here I was trying to fix it earlier, your silly comb really does nothing but mess it up more. Do not underestimate the struggle of having this kind of hair."
"Shave it off then." Zero shrugged, finally breathing after the fit of laughter.
"You think I did not try." Gin deadpanned.
"And?"
"I looked like an out of place monk, confusing people about how they should act around me." The flat statement sent Zero into another fit of giggles.
"Where have you been?" Gin asked, worry laced in his voice made Zero halt his actions. Luckily, Zero had a proper alibi with the bag he pulled and placed on the kitchen table.
"Here… Brand new shaver and toothbrush. I figured that you forgot to pack them when you complained about the toothbrush yesterday." Zero explained to the happy man who rummaged through the bag.
"You're a lifesaver, Thanks." Gin grinned.
"Nah… I should be the one thanking you… You have been a big help the past couple of days." Zero shrugged as he jumped on the table, dangling his legs childishly, "At least, you will look less like a Siberian husky." he teased as he reached a hand to scratch the stubble, Gin made a roaring sound and attempted the fingers messing around with his face.
"Why a Siberian husky?"
"Hmm… Dunno… Maybe the eyes… You give off the feeling of a wolf in sheep clothing, somehow." Zero made a mocking observant stance.
"Perceptive much…" Gin teased, "What do you want for breakfast? I am cooking today. "
"Oh really? Blueberry pancakes then…" Zero blurted out in an overly excited voice, only to frown afterwards. He never like blueberries before, glancing down at his stomach, he sighed again when he realized that his cravings had already kicked in.
"Blueberry pancake it is. Let me see what's in the fridge to go get the missing ingredients." Opening the contraption, Gin was amazed at how well stocked up the fridge was, "Now this is impressive. I guess we have everything."
"Yeah…" Zero trailed, in a voice that alerted Gin to the sudden change of mood, "Ichiru has the habit of keeping the fridge full. I will go change and be right back." Zero jumped from the table and stomped to the bedroom without looking at the other man.
Gin observed him until he disappeared out of his sight. After letting out a long sigh, he proceeded to make breakfast. He was lucky to find a pack of a pancake mix that he just needed to add milk and blueberries to instead of doing it from scratch.
Gin started to worry when Zero took too long to come back from changing his clothes but opted for leaving him alone. Once everything was done, he decorated the sumptuous breakfast with melted butter, blueberries and brown sugar. Looking at the mess he made, Gin collected the trash and empty milk carton to throw in the bin. As he was about to let go of the stuff, something caught his attention inside the bin. It was not hard to recognize the shape of a pregnancy test glaring back at you. He felt his heart racing faster than normal and his breath growing shorter as he reached down for it, glancing in the direction of the corridor to make sure that Zero did not come yet.
Flipping the stick to its front, he gasped almost loudly when his suspicions were confirmed. In the small square screen of the digital test, he was unmistakably reading the word 'pregnant'. Upon hearing footsteps getting closer, he immediately threw it back and covered it with the trash he was holding.
"Mmm… Looks yummy." Zero forced a cheerful voice.
"Let's dig in then." Gin chirped back, trying his best to keep the fact to himself until the hunter feels comfortable enough to talk about it.
Unfortunately, it did not take long for Zero to interrupt the peaceful silence of the meal by a mad dash to the bathroom. Now that he was able to connect the dots properly, Gin rushed to his side doing the same thing he previously did.
Seeing the hunter crouched over the toilet seat retching and heaving pained him a lot. A weak whimper alerted Gin to grab the slender waist as Zero lost the strength in his legs when he tried to get up. He guided him to the sink, supporting him as he refreshed himself. If it went as usual, the hunter will snap back to his usual self in a matter of moments after the spell passes. However, this time was different.
Just as Gin let go of Zero and was about to ask him if he needed anything, the hunter turned around and reached a hand asking for support. Thanks to the fast reaction, Gin found himself holding a boneless hunter who had no strength except for the hands clutching on the shirt above his shoulder in desperate need of support.
"Zero! Hey… What's wrong?" Gin panicked as he held the trembling body closer to his.
"Hnnn..." Another weak whimper resonated close to the junction of his neck where Zero's head was resting, "I don't know… The room is spinning."
"Hold on, let me get you to the nearest hospital… This is not normal." even if you are pregnant.
"NO! NO! that's not necessary." Zero panicked at the mention of the hospital.
"Don't be stupid, you have been feeling unwell for too long… You have to get yourself checked."
"I will… I have an appointment today… I will go… Just lend me your shoulder for a moment… I will be fine…" Zero reassured, absolutely desperate to get the idea of Gin taking him away out of his head. He was not sure about what is happening to his body but he was aware of the root cause.
The thrumming of his body got louder, feeling almost feverish as Gin held him up straight. Moments later, Gin instructed him to try holding onto his neck to take him to bed. When Zero cooperated, the teacher lifted him bridal style back to the bedroom. As he neared the bed, he felt Zero's grip tightened around his neck. Taking it as a signal that the hunter does not want to let go, he sat on the bed, cradling Zero like a baby.
It was too late when he realized his mistake. In a split of a second as he was adjusting himself, a hissing sound resonated before a pair of fangs sunk into his shoulder, close enough to the junction of his neck.
The searing pain that suddenly jolted his body made him see white, the gulping sound was hard to process as his eyes were wide and body frozen in shock for a second before his brain processed what was happening.
"UGH! Ze… Zero… Stop" He gasped as the hunter took one big gulp after another like a thirsty traveller who found an oasis in the middle of a desert. Pushing the ex-human off did not work as Zero had a vice grip over his neck and the shifting only increased the pain. Gin finally dropped his own back on the bed, dragging Zero with him.
He was not sure if Zero had his fill or if the change of position snapped him out of his trance, but Gin was grateful to the painful feeling of those needles leaving his skin. Opening his eyes that he screwed shut, he came face to face with a crimson-eyed Zero with aroused fangs and his blood dripping from the parted lips of the vampire form of the silverette.
The horrified expression on Zero's face told Gin that he was regaining his senses. Taking a page from Ichiru's book, Gin tried to reign in his panic and smile to reassure the hunter that he was okay, but the act was not convincing with the punctures on his skin and the light colored shirt getting soaked with blood oozing out of his wounds.
Zero jolted away, banging his back against the wall after taking few steps back, looking with horror at what he did, No! No! I did not! NO!
Grabbing his bangs in frustration as he looked at Gin who was getting up slowly from the bed. Zero slid down against the wall while wiping his face with both hands as memories of the past came crawling back, It is happening all over again! the same… the beast…
His fingers touched the still warm thick liquid on his lips and he instantly felt disgust overwhelm him. Using the shirt he was wearing, Zero started rubbing his mouth in a bruising fashion, his eyes returned to normal and fangs retracted by that time.
In his frenzy, he did not notice when Gin reached and crouched in front of him. It was when he reached to stop the scrubbing that Zero slapped his hand away, giving him a look of pure fear and terror.
"Stop hurting yourself!" Gin clasped both the hunter's hands in his, oblivious to his own pain, "I am okay, see?" he gave a squeeze to the trembling hands that induced tears falling from violet eyes.
"No, you're not!" Zero bawled.
"I am."
"You're hurt, I hur-"
"It will heal in no time."
"I could have killed you." Zero whimpered at the horrible scenario that could have happened.
"But I am alive, aren't I. You stopped." Gin reassured, the smile never leaving his face.
"I am no good after all, Gin? I can't-"
"Shhh…" Gin shook him slightly as his hands grabbed the tense shoulders of the hunter.
"That is not true…"
"I always hurt those around me." Zero snapped angrily, "Just leave me alone… That is the best… I should just disappear from this world."
"STOP IT, DAMN IT!" Zero startled at the scream of the frustrated teacher. "To hell with all that crap." Gin gritted as he squeezed the shoulders, "So what if you have a depraved lifestyle, so many others are leading similar life and never bothered about anything. If you don't like it, you can stop. I can be your brakes. if you want and I will help you through it, all you need to do is to ask. So what if you fucking bit me and drank a few gulps? You can drink me dry if you want, I would not mind at all. You want to know why? Because I love you! I said it many times, but I have to say more to get through that thick skull of yours. By I love you, I mean that I appreciate everything about you, including your vampire side and I was prepared for this. That if a day comes and you actually return my feeling or give me a chance, I am sure as hell not going to mind it; you drinking from me, at all." Gin spoke fast and firmly to the point that Zero remained open mouthed and speechless.
"The hell is that?" Zero mumbled.
"Exactly what you heard." Gin answered in a heartbeat, "I want to be your support, the shoulder you cry on whenever life gives you the hardest time, and I wish I can ease as much pain as I can while sharing fun and happy moment together." he added softly while taking a hand of the stunned hunter to kiss.
The hand never reached his lips as Zero yanked it as he screamed bloody murder, "The hell are you saying? Drink you dry… Do you even know what that means?" Zero clutched his own throat, "Do you know the effort it takes to not do that… How easily you can fizzle out if I let the beast inside me ran rampant… Do you realize that you are trying to ruin all the struggle and effort I made to control it all these years? Now, you come and tell me that it is okay to be the monster I fucking hate because you love me… To hell with that love of yours… To hell with you and everyone else… Leave! Get out! Get out of my sight!" Zero stood and stomped away, his nostril flaring of extreme anger.
He gritted his teeth when Gin grabbed his arm, he turned around to snap at him again, but his lips were quickly covered as Gin leaned to kiss him suddenly. Instead of struggling, Zero suddenly found himself responding, licking Gin's lips and seeking access as he wrapped his arms around his neck. Gin did not waste time to pull his body flush against his, all while pushing him towards the bed. In between gentle caresses and soft kisses, Zero could hear the murmured apologies that Gin repeated like a mantra… The sincerity of the plea sent warmth through his body and mind, sending him in a daze to the point that the voice ended up changing to the one he longed to hear… Amethyst eyes widened at the realization…
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ Few hours later ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
Gin laid back on the bed, with few pillows raising his back, topless with Zero sprawled on top of him. The teacher sighed as his fingers kneaded the scalp of the silver hunter in a soothing manner. The covers were hiding the naked form of the hunter, keeping the cold away as the heater turned off automatically and none of them had the desire to move and turn them on.
Zero's head was resting on the strong chest, Gin's heart thrumming against his ear before he shifted and looked at the concerned grey eyes.
"Feeling better?" Gin inquired.
"Um…" Zero answered timidly as Gin run a finger under a red-rimmed eye. "Sorry, I must have freaked you out." Zero let out a silly laugh as he apologized.
"No such a thing." Gin smiled reassuringly.
"You really take everything in stride." Zero pointed as he got up from the bed pulling the covers around his form as he collected his clothes to wear.
"Told you." Gin stated, earning a confused look from Zero that made him elaborate, "That no matter how heavy your burden gets, I will be there to support you and lighten the load if I can."
"Careful, I might take you up on that offer." Zero warned jokingly.
"Please do!" Gin smirked back.
Zero chuckled as he slid on a shirt, "Okay… All jokes aside. I don't mean to sound rude and I am by no mean kicking you out for good. I really appreciate you being here and all, but I really need some time alone. I have few things that I need to sort out and I am sorta-"
"No need to explain yourself, Zero." Gin interrupted, "You need your own space and I have been invading it a bit too much lately. I do have some things to deal with at the new house as well. I just wanted to make sure that you are well enough so that I do not worry when leaving you alone."
Zero gave him a thumb up, "I can assure you that I am A-ok now. You can get on with your business without worrying about me killing myself, worrywart."
"Okay… Now I am worried." Gin frowned while crossing his arms.
"Come on~ that was sarcasm, a joke you dork." Zero smirked while passing Gin the clean shirt and threw the bloodied one.
"Fine."
After a lot of nagging Gin finally left. Leaving Zero alone in a cold empty apartment with a heart heavier than a mountain.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ Later in Cross Academy ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
A mouth dangled open expecting the prize to reach its destination, sadly the cold sweetness hit the side of the lip.
Aido hissed, "Babe, I know I am an ice-wielder, but when you drop ice cream on my skin, I do feel the chill."
Ichiru giggled as he brought the spoon to his own mouth to claim what remained on it before having another mouthful from the tub on his lap. Aido sighed again, "Seriously Ichiru… I am going to be very pissed if you end up getting sick from eating ice cream in the middle of the winter."
The silver twin rolled his eyes and removed the spoon with a pop, "Come on~ Hana… You've been with me long enough to know that I enjoy ice-cream the most during the cold season."
"And it took me that long to realize that you always end up coming down with something if I do not stop you from overeating it." Aido quipped as he snatched the tub from his pouting lover and standing up. "I think I will have to install a lock on the freezer from now on."
"Stingy! huh?" Ichiru frowned at the nightstand where Aido's phone blinked, "Hana, your phone has been blinking for some time. Did you forget it on silent again?"
Aido took one last gulp of water after wiping the ice-cream from his chest, glancing sideway, "No… It is nothing for you to worry about."
His words came a little too late as the phone was already in Ichiru's hand. Violet orbs widened and looked up into annoyed electric blue ones.
Ichiru flipped the screen for Hanabusa to see, "It's nii-san, have you been ignoring his calls this way?" He reached for his phone under the pillow and cursed when he found that it ran out of charge.
Aido sat on the edge of the bed, "Being okay with you making up with him does not mean that I would do the same."
Ichiru's mouth opened to say something, paused, and then scoffed "That is just stupid… Okay… I am not going to argue on this, do whatever you want, but you could tell me when he calls you at least. It is not like he is calling you. My phone went out of charge and he is probably trying to reach me, mister genius," he added with a voice dripping with dry sarcasm.
The noble vampire ignored the irritated tone, not wanting to fall in an argument like every time Zero's issues come up in their conversation. However, instead of using his own phone, Ichiru went ahead and answered Hanabusa's phone, which ticked him off.
"Hello, nii-san! How are you today…" Ichiru chirped as he crisscrossed his legs, "Sorry! my phone went out of charge."
"Hey… That's fine, I was actually trying to reach Hanabusa."
"…"
"Is he with you?"
"Uhm…" Ichiru stuttered and pointed to the phone looking at his lover to tell him silently that the hunter wanted to talk to him. He groaned softly when Aido refused stubbornly.
"I guess he does not want to talk to me, as expected." Zero's voice was flat and lifeless, which worried Ichiru.
"Nii-san? Is everything alright?" Ichiru asked
Taking a deep breath, Zero pondered on how he should go about breaching the topic.
"Nii-san?"
"If he is nearby, could you put the phone on speaker? but not too loud though." Zero instructed.
"Uhm… okay… Done." Ichiru's answer confirmed that the noble was indeed around.
"I am pregnant." Zero finally got straight to the point.
"SHIT!" Ichiru reacted as expected, making the hunter wince while Aido's shoulder slumped as he ran a hand across his face.
"And it is most likely Kaname's" The second bomb dropped.
"DOUBLE SHIT!" at this point Ichiru was standing up on top of the bed, looking at the phone with utter shock and horror in his expression.
Zero had to keep the phone away as his ears rang from the shouting. "Anyways…" He let out a loud exhale, "I know that he does not want to have anything to do with me anymore and I certainly cannot blame him."
Ichiru could notice his brother's voice straining, is he crying?
"Zero?"
"Just… help me… Please!" The hunter finally snapped, curling in a ball on the couch where he was sitting, having difficulties holding back his sobs as he rocked back and forth… "I don't want to go through that again, Ichiru… I cannot do this without his help… Please… I know it's too much to ask… but… I really need to get rid of it… This cannot happen… I can't let it happen."
"Nii-san… Calm down… Are you sure? Do you really want to terminate it?" Ichiru asked looking at his lover who had an equally strained expression.
"Yes... If he has not intention to help, please tell me as soon as possible. I will have to go through the method I used before as the last resort." Zero informed as he sniffled while wiping his tears.
Ichiru's eyes widened in time with the flinch of Aido's hand on his own knee as the horrible memory flashed through their mind. "Don't be rash, nii-san! Give me a couple of days." Ichiru answered with a firm and stern voice, reassuring Zero.
After making sure that his brother calmed down, Ichiru hung up with a long sigh and looked at his lover who just got back into the room after he left for few minutes.
Aido placed a box on his lap that Ichiru opened to find various wrapped medicine that he recognized all too well. His frown deepened as he pondered for a moment.
"You will have to take it to him. I am not sending this through express mail." Hanabusa stated.
"Have you always kept this stash around?" Ichiru mumbled taking one packet containing the powdered medicine that Zero would use for abortion.
"It is my motto to be better safe than sorry. I wish someone else adapted the same attitude though." the vampire bit as he yanked the suit he would use for an upcoming meeting with his research sponsor. All energy and enthusiasm he felt after he woke up drained to none by the news. He was already conflicted on how to act around Kaname when he gets back from his business trip, now all he feels is that he lost all respect towards the pureblood for making his brother-in-law go through another traumatizing experience because of his selfish desires. Now matter how Takuma sugar-coated it, Aido was well aware that Kaname did not understand the hunter and tried to bend his will. A mistake that would never work with Zero and will only end up backfiring in the worst way. Even if it was out of love and desperation, that is just…
He sighed, chasing the negative thoughts he had been drowning in lately. Glancing at his lover, He saw Ichiru push the little box away and fold his knees to rest his chin over them.
"Babe… Don't even think about it." Aido demanded in a stern voice, guessing what is going through his lover's mind.
Ichiru looked at him with an agonized expression, "I never agreed to this, and never wanted to have a hand in it."
Aido sighed, "Neither do I. However, you cannot force him into it again after you saw how it affected him. I really do not want to see the same gory thing happening again."
Ichiru cringed at the memory, and his face contorted as he remembered how wretched his brother was at that time. The thought of Zero going through it again made him clutch the box, trying to build a firm resolve to do something he had been so long against.
"I know it is hard for you to have it on your conscience." Aido patted the silver head.
"Uhm… I have always hated the practice, even before… you know."
"I know… But you do understand that in Zero's case, having a child would probably turn his life upside down, and not necessarily in a good way. Especially if his suspicions about the father are correct." Hanabusa mumbled the last part, "It is not our right to force him in going through such a thing."
He felt bad for his lover for having to go through this. One of their biggest fight was when Zero messed up and got pregnant with Marco's child. Aido did not hesitate to pull the confidential documents holding the formula of the abortion medicine, made it and gave it to Zero. He can still remember the grateful look that the hunter gave him, although it pained Aido to be a part of it.
When Ichiru got wind of it, Hanabusa got the first taste of the absolutely livid Ichiru that he belatedly discovered having a strong aversion towards what he called 'a criminal act'. He later understood that the root cause of it is the fact that hunters have a history of abortion whenever the woman appeared to be bearing twins, in order to avoid the 'curse'.
It was hard convincing the stubborn lover that it was not fair to impose such belief on his brother and wreck his life along with the life of the unwanted child.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ The next day, in Zero's apartment ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
Ichiru stood in the middle of the living room. His brother sat on the couch, leaning on his knees while both stared at the medicine on the coffee table.
"Thanks for taking the trouble of bringing it in addition to making him prepare it." Zero gave a grateful nod to his brother who shook his head, shrugging.
"He already had a bunch of it prepared, just in case."
Zero gave a breathy chuckle, "Just like him."
"Are you sure, you want to do this? You know that you can-" Ichiru was about to attempt changing Zero's mind but a hand stopped him.
"No, Ichiru… This has to be done, sorry. I know how you feel about it. However, I am not ready to take responsibility for a child and have my condition going public. I know I can go away and give birth, and then give the child up for adoption. I know that it is what you were going to suggest and I did think about it. Unfortunately, it is a risk I cannot take when I know that it is highly likely that it is his child. I would have also done the same even if that probability did not exist." Looking up at his younger twin's disapproving expression, Zero gave him a warm smile, "I was thinking long and hard about every possible solution, but I could find no better one if I want to do what I am aiming for."
"What is it?" Ichiru inquired, confused at the look on Zero's face.
"Changing for the better." Zero shrugged, surprising his brother.
"This child might be the first step Zero." Ichiru latched on the idea.
Zero shook his head, "No… This won't be as easy when I am haunted by the idea of raising a child on my own, because there is no way I am letting him know about it if that is the case."
"But you will not be alone." Ichiru begged as he sat beside his brother.
"My decision is set in stone, Ichiru." Zero answered firmly, not allowing any more room for discussion.
"I wish there was another way."
"Sorry."
"Don't be," Ichiru patted on his shoulder and stood, stretching. "It is selfish of me to try and convince you otherwise, Hanabusa already lectured me about it, but I could not help but try. After all, we would have not came into existence if our parents did not oppose the idea of aborting us because mother carried twins. I tend to think that no matter what hardship and trouble it might bring, it is only fair to give the little existence inside of you a chance to survive in this world… Anyways… Enough rambling, I am going to check on the bar while I am here. Are you planning on taking it today. I will stay over if you need me by your side. Hanabusa told me that it can get quite painful, although I never witnessed it before."
Zero smiled at his brother and waved a dismissing hand, "Your hubby is just too fussy about my health. I will be fine on my own. I don't think I will be taking it today though. I have work I need to deal with urgently."
"Alright! Take care then, I will be going back after checking on Ryou-san." Ichiru announced.
Zero smirked, "Enjoying the married life, aren't we."
Ichiru blushed, "It is scary how I am getting used to being a househusband. Oh! by the way, make sure to prepare housewarming gifts, The new condo will be opening soon and some of us will settle in our units."
Zero rolled his eyes, "Some of us, as in?"
Ichiru counted, "Hana and I of course, the place is looking awesome and I can't wait for the furniture to be delivered. Yuki-chan had already finished everything and will be moving first probably. I think Kain and Ruka are settling there as well. I still don't know about the Shiki's. They did purchase a unit but I don't know if they will live there. Ichijou is saying that he will stay in the Moon dorm for a while longer until he finds a suitable successor to take care of the student's supervision…"
"In short, it is just you and the Kurans." Zero deadpanned.
Ichiru was silent for a moment, "Nii-san… Do you have any idea about what is going on with them, by any chance? Did he tell you anything?"
Zero frowned at the inquiry, "Why are you asking?"
Ichiru hesitated for a bit, "You see, Kuran has the penthouse, but Yuki will live in a unit that is a floor below."
"Huh?" Zero tilted his head in confusion
"That was my reaction as well. Confusing, right? I did ask her subtly and she said something about giving him his own space and quiet when the baby comes. I do think it is too much of a space they are giving him there."
Zero pondered before deliberating, "Nope… That actually make sense. You can guess just by seeing the massive chambers he occupies in the moon dorm. He will probably hold his business functions there as well, so he does need the space. Yuki, the way I know her, hates those kind of posh open spaces. She will always go for the homey and cozy space instead. They will probably live in her unit and he will works in the penthouse, as she said."
After a lot of random chattering, Ichiru finally left.
Just as he was about to go about his work, Zero's phone beeped, signaling an incoming message. The hunter's lips curled up at the silly emoticons that Gin used as he asked about his wellbeing and if he needed him to come over. The hunter figured that he should probably make sure not to have him around since it would be troublesome with all the pain he will go through after taking the medicine, it would be a dead giveaway. He could imagine the teacher hoisting and rushing him to a hospital even if Zero refused.
Typing his answer, he estimated the time and gave his reply.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ Meanwhile in Shanghai ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
"No! st- AAAH! op… Kan-ah… haah… it hurts *sob*"
Red brown eyes shot open to chase away the nightmarish visions that were but a reminder of his barbarian act. Jolting up from the bed, Kaname brought a hand to his sweaty forehead, glancing sideway at the phone, which snapped him out of the nightmare that plagued him whenever he attempted to sleep in the hotel room that he barely used.
"Hello!"
"Hello, no-good onii-sama!" Yuki chirped from the phone,
"Yuki." He mumbled while rubbing his eyes, "Happy new year…"
"Thank you, I hope this year will be more joyful than the last, especially with a cute little one in my arms right now."
Kaname had a faint smile when he heard Ai cooing and making sounds as if she was popping her tiny lips, "She is growing so fast, it is amazing! You will be surprised when you see her. We really missed you at the dinner in father's house."
"Sorry! Did you have fun?"
"Plenty! It was awkward at first since Zero and Ichiru seemed to be fighting over something, but it was all good when they made up. Can you believe that Zero, he almost ditched the party if I did not gang up on him with father with the usual guilt game, "
He was probably avoiding me.
"Good thing he came then." Kaname trailed.
"Yup, but he left the same night with Moriya-sensei, though." Yuki added with a disappointed tone.
"Really?" Kaname tried to hide the agitation in his voice.
"Honest, they came and left together like a summer breeze. Anyways… I have to go… It seems that Ai just graced me with a fragrant gift. I hope you come soon to see me, daddy." Yuki chirped in a childish voice as if talking for Ai.
After bidding, goodbyes and hanging up, Kaname tapped the phone against his chin few times before dialing Takuma's number.
"Quite rare for you to be the one to call." Takuma answered, sounding as if he was in a car.
"Where are you?"
"On my way for a meeting at the pharmaceutical company."
"With Aido?"
"Nope, I think he is already there since he left earlier than me. Did you need something from him?"
"Was Zero with Moriya-sensei during the dinner at Cross's house?"
"Huh?"
"Yuki told me they came together and left together right afterwards."
Takuma sighed and trailed, "Kaname~"
"Just answer me, I did not ask for the impossible."
"You are the impossible, what good will come out from such investigation. Are you going to start stalking him now?" Takuma snapped.
"I am just asking." Kaname bit back
"Well… If you must know… Yes! They came together, and from what I gathered from Kaito's conversation with the man. They have been on good terms for a while and Moriya-san was hanging out at Zero's place during the vacation. That is why they came together. I am not sure about why he left with Zero again, but Ichiru said something about the hunter not feeling well after drinking a bit and Moriya-san offered to give him a ride since he still had business to deal with in his hometown. Is this report enough for you?"
Takuma's eyebrow quirked in annoyance when the answer he got was the dial tone from Kaname hanging up on his nose. I wish he just let go already!
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ in the faculty dormitory of Cross Academy few days later ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
Gin hang up his phone after talking to Zero. He took it upon himself to check on the hunter once a day and Zero appreciated the gesture somehow. They talked about trivial stuff most of the time. Zero was supposed to come over to Cross city that day because he was curious to see how the renovation was progressing, but he cancelled at the last minute saying that work was hectic. Gin was confused because the hunter was saying how he had been whizzing through it a couple of days ago and looking forward to finally leave the hermit life he had been living.
No matter how he tried to chase the thought away, Gin could not help but worry about the thought that Zero might be in a pinch after realizing that he was pregnant and struggling with it in secret. He lost hope on getting him to confess by himself, realizing that he still had a long way to go before acquiring the hunter's trust.
He decided to call again.
"Hey! Sorry for bugging you… I was thinking, since you won't be able to make the trip and come hangout. Do you want me to come over and go to that beach, to sort of unwind after you are done?" He asked hesitantly.
"Sure!" The cheerful voice of the hunter surprised him to the point he suspected him to be faking it, "Actually, that would be a good plan for the day after tomorrow. Make sure to get the key from Ichiru and use it, because I will probably dead tired and will not lift a finger to open the door if you come as early as usual." Zero warned, "I would have told you to come today, but you won't see much of me since I will be cooped up in the office."
"All right! Cool, see you the day after tomorrow then."
"Oh and see if Ichiru wants to come as well, I have to show him that place, he loves the sea during winter time."
"Will do." Gin answered before ending the conversation.
He immediately called Ichiru. He was surprised to know that Yuki did not give him the key he entrusted her with.
"She must have forgot about. She has always been quite the scatterbrain." Ichiru laughed.
"It's fine, it is not like I need it urgently. I will be going there in a couple of days. He said to bring you along if you wanted to."
"Nice. I think I will do that. I want to swing by the bar as well since I will get the chance."
"I just hope she did not lose it." Gin scratched his head, "He was quite insistent on not waking him up."
"It's fine. I have another one with me if she did lose it. Which she might, I am afraid." Ichiru trailed before bidding goodbye. Relieved to know that his brother was asking for company instead of going into the usual depressing reclusive state of his. I wonder if he already did it?
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ Meanwhile with Zero ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
The hunter resumed typing on his computer, glad to finish the last part of the work he had been wrestling with. Two hours later, he stretched on his seat and grabbed the lemonade he had been living on for the past few days. His morning sickness kicked in full force after Gin left and his thirst have been unbearable. He had to bear with it due to the important work that could not be delayed but he could not wait for it to end.
He chased away the heavy feeling he got whenever the time to take the abortion medicine grew closer, and went to get ready for the last meeting he had to take care of before having the rest of the day for himself.
Satisfied with the outcome of successfully acquiring a new big client for his company. Zero quickly changed out of his suit and got in his comfortable lounging clothes.
The first thing he did was laying a mattress protection on his bed. He thought of laying on the floor but decided against it because he would be too sore to move and needed as much comfort as possible after the ordeal. He hoped that it would not be as messy as before since he was well prepared and knowing what to expect. He then headed to the bathroom and wore the uncomfortable piece that all women have a love/hate feeling towards. He hated walking with that thing the most. Thankfully, it would be just for one day.
Now in the living room, he opened the box to take a wrapping with the soluble powder. What came out instead was a note. He recognized Hanabusa's handwriting and smiled while reading the message, I swear silly worrywarts surround me.
He put the note aside and reached for a dose that he spilled in the glass filled with water. He paused for a moment and added another dose to the mix before stirring. If it is the child of a pureblood, it might be harder than a human's offspring. Just to be safe.
A flashing Image of the smiling brown haired pureblood while his voice whispered as if he was close to his ear, "If it is a girl the name will be-"
Zero squeezing his eyes shut and swallowed his saliva loudly in effort to chase away the memory. He continued stirring as he made his way to the bedroom.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ in the lobby of the residence at the same time ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
The sliding doors opened to allow the access of the person walking towards the reception desk. They put in their details and headed towards the lift, sliding the key in the slot and pushing the floor number as the door closed.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ Back in Zero's bedroom ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
Clutching the glass with both hands, Zero stared at the clear solution, circular waves showed on the calm surface of the liquid as his hands shook. One hand reached to his stomach, rubbing its lower part.
He stared at the solution again, his mind completely elsewhere as he drifted through random thoughts and memories.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ In the elevator ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
Impatient fingers tapped on the key as flickering eyes watched the numbers increase, wishing they would reach the floor faster.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ Back in Zero's bedroom ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
The hunter finally gave a dry chuckle, staring blankly ahead. "Even if the accusations were wrong at that time, I guess I am making them true right now. Just continue believing that I am nothing but a lump of flesh driven by carnal desire that would not hesitate to get rid of a life growing inside him like some stomach bug. Keep on thinking that, because there is no future for us, even with a child to bind us together."
Gin's words resonated in his mind as his resolve started weakening,
You have to do to feel good about yourself for it to be worth it, you do not have to change to please others and abide by their expectation.
No matter how heavy your burden gets, I will be there to support you and lighten the load if I can
"You would not say those words if you knew just what kind of burden you might have to carry by being with me. Heck, he would run for the hills if he discovered that I was pregnant."
Zero shook his head imagining the bulging eyes of the man as a reaction if he ever told him the news.
Taking a deep breath, he brought the glass to his lips.
He flinched when the rim touched them, pushing it away in a moment of hesitation.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ meanwhile at his door ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
The uninvited guest slid the key and opened the door softly. They looked around the neat space, not finding anyone in sight. Their eyes landed on the little clutter on the coffee table. Taking careful steps, they squinted at the odd wrapping inside the box. A hand reached for the note beside it for the person to read it.
∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
I am sure that Ichiru gave you a long lecture as to why you should not go through with the abortion,
However, I will not oppose your decision because of the repercussions it might have on many people involved.
I have an aversion towards taking too much of this medicine because of its nasty side effects as you know, but I think it would be safer to take a double dose. Especially if you are suspecting the father to be that person.
I know that you take it upon yourself not to make Ichiru worry, but I do think that it would be better to have him around when you go through with it.
Be safe.
∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
Their eyes flickered quickly between the note and the two torn packets lying on the table. Snatching one of them, said eyes widened in horror when realizing that it was empty.
"NO! NO! NO! NO!" they felt as if they were flying when they made a mad dash towards to bedroom. A hand fumbled inside a pocket.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ Back in Zero's bedroom ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
Finally steeling his nerves, Zero brought the cup to his lips and felt the cold glass material press against them. Tilting it slowly along with his head, he screwed his eyes shut as he felt the liquid reach his lip and about to slide inside his mouth, unintentionally tightening his lips on the rim, making it slide slower.
What followed was a blur from how fast it happened. The only thing Zero realized was that he was pinned flat on his back to the bed with glowing arrows piercing his limbs as the seal on his neck glowed red.
He hissed at the burning sensation when he tried to retaliate against the restraints of the taming spell. Glaring daggers at the person who came barging in, slamming the glass from his hand to the wall, and activating the spell with a bracelet he had not seen in ages.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Zero hissed
"I should say the same back to you" The guest gritted back.
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ Another cliffy, Sorry ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
.
Exactly who is it that stopped Zero in the nick of time?
Will they be successful in changing his mind about the abortion?
This chapter is stretching far longer than expected so this cliffy will not last for too long because I am currently working on the rest. I will be taking a break before getting back on it since I am staying at home today. Yesterday was a disaster as I collapsed again as soon after I reached the workplace and ended up in the hospital once again because of a stupid wrong prescription. That is the reason for the delayed update.
Finger crossed so that I do not feel sick again, I seriously have no idea what I am coming down with exactly because the doctor said that many things happened at once, flu, food poisoning and my anemia getting worse. Great Cocktail, huh!
See ya all in next chapter XD
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞ TBC ∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
Before the shoutout, I would like to answer an important guest review.
"Ok, I found this chapter to be offensive. Forst of all, I'm a pro choice person, and I believe if a person don't want a baby, then the person has full right to do it. In this chapter Zero was shown as a bad person for wanting aborting. This is wrong, and it is also wrong for your readers who is bashing on Zero for it. I wished you wrote this chapter in a different way. You could have wrote Zero will die if he abort the baby, but no, you wrote in such a way that shows my moral is wrong."
Hi Duki, I hope you are doing well, I would like to apologize if the last chapter offended you, and thank you for reading and following the story so far. I always appreciate critics about the content of the story, since it helps me improve as I go. On that notice, I want to point out that it was not my intention to show Zero as a bad person. I understand your idea about writing it in a different way, but your suggestion would be flawed because Zero had abortions before and did not die from it. This is to answer your critic about the content. Now, I would like to make a point clear on the issue about morals and reader's opinion. I personally found the way you wrote it to be offending, because this is a work of fiction, and making me out to be writing with the sole purpose of showing your morals to be wrong does not make sense. If we were to involve morals in this story and take everything personally, then the content would be simply scandalous. So you are saying that you are okay with the concept of cheating, raping but the opposition of abortion is what rubbed you the wrong way? Come on, let us be reasonable here. For the info, in real life, I am a pro choice person as well and I did not go against a family member going for abortion because I know that they are not able to take care of the child if born and the pregnancy happened despite taking the necessary precautions.
I honestly did not mind you accusing me of attacking your morals that much, but I was literally miffed by the part where you wrote "and it is also wrong for your readers who is bashing on Zero for it" because you are flaming the readers who are simply expressing their opinion. I would have let it slide if you wrote it in a subtle way, but the words you used can be considered rude. That is the freedom of expressing their opinions and what they thought after reading the chapter. Just like you are agreeing with Zero's decision to abort and defending it, they have the right to disagree with the decision and react to it however they want. And as the one writing the story, I always look at the events from a bird view, meaning that I put myself in the shoes of both opposing and defending parties while setting my morals and beliefs aside in order for me to write this work of fiction.
On that note, I would like issue a WARNING for future reviews:
to all future reviewers out there, I appreciate critics like this. I really do, and for those communicating with me through pm, you should know how much I like debating about the events of the chapter and discussing ideas with you. I believe that you are all entitled to speak your mind freely, because that is your right and it is also helping me evaluate my work. HOWEVER, I will not tolerate readers flaming one another (such as saying that person is wrong for saying such thing in a rude manner. If you want to voice a disagreement, please choose a respectful way to do it because what seems wrong for you might seem right for another person), and I also won't tolerate personal judgement based on my writing (This is a work of pure fiction and does not reflect me as a person or my point of view in real life regarding some matters).
Readers are entitled to criticize the content of the story, not other readers or the author as a person, please keep that in mind. Oh! and my reply to Duki does not give you permission to be rude toward him/her and bash as well, those who show disrespect towards this reviewer will have their reviews deleted.
Sorry for the rant, I hope you enjoyed the chapter
∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞8∞∞
A MASSIVE SHOUTOUT
AND
BUCKETS OF LOVE AND KISSES FOR THE AWESOME REVIEWERS OF CHAPTER 39:
Duki
Senja844
eikoamaya1
hotxhotguy
XtAG: Thank you so much for the kind words, dear! I appreciate it. My health is a little unstable but improving slowly as I said, my exams, on the other hand, were awesome as I aced all of them XD I am glad that you enjoyed the read. I will keep your request in mind ;) As for Keiichi, I do not want to put spoiler, but I am sorry to tell you that he is indeed Rido's child. The truth behind his lineage will be revealed soon actually, I hope you can be patient and wait for is (^.^). Thank for dropping the review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well XD
irmina
Aoi Bara94
IamHaein
miketsukami13
kmbanas
Melloomelon
GOE: Hello there! I am glad that I pulled you out of your silence. As for whether Zero being heartless or not, I will leave it up to you to judge after the next couple of chapters. I am guessing that this one won't answer your assumptions yet.
Guest: :P XD ahhahhaahahahh… Yep! I am evil and putting evil cliffhangers, I know, but I am doing my best to make it worth the wait. I hope I am not failing there :(
eboneykg
mi5tan: This chapter may not answer your questions, but you will find the answers in the second part that I am working on as you are reading this one probably.
Miss spontaneousx
My Devil Butler
KazeKayze
ben4kevin
aya121192
LOVE YOU ALL GUYS, AND A BIG THANK YOU FOR THOSE WHO TOOK THE TIME TO READ, THOSE WHO CLICKED THE FAVORITE BUTTON AS WELL AS THOSE WHO ARE FOLLOWING THE STORY.
YOU ARE THE BEST.