The room seemed to be spinning around as I spun around. Everyone was waiting in anticipation to see who would volunteer first. I didn't know what to do, so I just kept spinning. A thousand thoughts whirled around my head, just like the room.
Suddenly, a brusque voice spoke up. "I will go first." I aburptly stopped spinning and had to catch myself on the backfoot so I didn't fall down on my still-seated classmates. As the room tilted back into focus, I saw Jacques flex the fingers on his right hand several times before clenching them into a fist in front of him. He sprung to his feet and walked to the side of the easel. The intense gaze of his unblinking eyes commanded everyone's total attention.
"We have a volunteer!" cackled Mr. Pony, putting their hands on their stomach. "So, Jacques, what do you have to share with the class?"
Arching his eyebrows diabolically, Jacques procured a rolled-up piece of paper, and unfurled it to reveal a full-color, to-scale map of the campus as we knew it.
"This is a map of Place Prep," said Jacques astutely. Mr. Pony tilted their head to the side quizzically and put their hand on their cheek, the one on their face. "I drew it myself yesterday, during quiet coloring, and later when I was at home. It includes the kindergarten building, where we are located right now, the playground outside, the carpool loop, the food building, pond, the Big Toy, and the field and the courts surrounding it.
"Wow!" said Owen, his little fists balled up near his chin in excitement and his eyes sparkling, or as some would say, superkulling. "That's so cool, Jacquesypoo! But where is everything else?"
"I have not drawn it yet, because I do not know what is there yet," responded Jacques. "There are rough outlines of the buildings, but I do not know what they are or what they look like inside."
"I have an idea!" interrupted Owen. "We should all go exploring! That way, we can see what the whole school looks like, and Jacquesypoo can finish his map!"
"Whoa there," cut in Mr. Pony, an irate expression on their face and one hand raised menacingly. "I can't just have you young whippersnappers running round willy-nilly! Maybe, if you're well behaved…" They put their hands on their stomach. "I'll take you lot on a little Tor later!"
Upon hearing that word, I felt a strange feeling in my body, mah hart, mah vurry sole. I heard a strange noise reverberate through my head, like a singular, gigantic heartbeat. My vision turned negative for an instant and the room pulsed in time with the heartbeat noise. My eyes crossed and I felt like I was about to go crazy, like the one wrestler that was a lion.
Everyone else in the classroom seemed to be having a similar experience. The room was silent for a few seconds as we all reeled. After those seconds passed, we all glanced around at each other with looks of fleeting suspicion.
"What… was that?" asked Julia.
"What was what?" asked Mr. Pony, tilting their head to the side quizzically and putting one hand on their cheek. The one on their face.
"You felt that too, Julia?" asked Kristy. "I wonder if it was a ghost!"
"Is that all you think about?" snapped Randy. "There's no such thing as ghosts."
"Well, what else could it have been?" countered Kristy, a bit irritably. "This isn't the first time something weird has happened here. I'm telling you, this classroom is haunted!"
"Everyone, relax," I said, trying to sound a lot more confident than I actually was. "Whatever just happened, I'm sure it was nothing. There's probably a perfectly normal explanation for it."
"Anyways," resumed Mr. Pony, "we're getting off task here. Jacques, do you have anything else to say about your map?"
Jacques frowned, looking a bit puzzled. "Not at the moment, no. But I agree with Owen that it would be fun to explore the rest of the school."
"Well, okay then, I'll see what I can do," acknowledged Mr. Pony. "But you may be seated now. Does anyone else have something for show and tell?"
I glanced toward Owen almost expectantly. Surely, someone as loud and energetic as him would have something to show off to the class, even if it was only something like his own shoelace. However, despite his normal attitude, he seemed distracted and reserved now, as if he was buried deep in thought.
Suddenly Randy's throaty voice cut through my observations. "I know someone who has something to show and tell," he boasted. "Jordan, why don't you show everybody your stamp collection?"
Jordan looked shocked, as if he had been taken aback. "W-what are you talking about, Randy? I don't have a stamp collection!"
"BAAAAH!" Jordan winced at the sound of Jacques' lie detector noise.
"You've got to," insisted Randy authoritatively. "Secrets secrets, are no fun, unless you tell everyone!"
Jordan lowered his head in submission. "Fine..." he trudged to the front of the room near the easel pad. He reluctantly got his little notebook out of his little pocket.
"What's this?" asked Mr. Pony inquisitively. "Jordan, do you have something to share with the class?"
"Yeah," mumbled Jordan. I felt bad for him. He was clearly so uncomfortable doing this.
"What was that?" asked Randy. "May you speak up, please? I can't hear you."
"This is… my stamp collection." He opened the book to reveal many rare, valuable, and limited edition stamps.
Several of the children tried to stifle their laughter. Kiki put her finger to her mouth absentmindedly and commented "Whoa. I think my mom has one of those, too."
Jordan quickly flipped through all of the pages and went to sit back down.
"That was pretty fast, Jordan," remarked Mr. Pony. "Are you sure there isn't anything else you want to share with the class?"
"No, I'm good," he was in the process of sitting down when Randy piped up.
"Hold it, you haven't answered the other questions yet!"
"Other… questions?"
"Yeah, like how you got your stamp collection, and why it's important to a stamp collector like you!"
"But I don't want to," whined Jordan.
"You have to," stated Randy imperiously. "Otherwise, that's against the ru-ules."
"Now, now, Randy," interrupted Mr. Pony. "Jordan doesn't have to share anything for show and tell if he doesn't want to. That's why we have volunteers!"
"Hmph," harrumphed Randy, as a now seated Jordan gave Mr. Pony a grateful look.
"On that note," continued Mr. Pony, "do we have any other volunteers?"
"Oh, you betcha," said Skylar, getting to her feet. She sashayed up to the side of the easel pad and took some egg shaped objects wrapped in tin foil out of her bag. She grinned photogenically and put up the peace sign. "What's up, you cool cats and kittens," she began, clearly spoofing some television show, "Today, for show and tell, I have these Cadbury eggs."
The class was silent. I almost felt like I was in a YouTube video, or worse… a videogame.
"Um… why?" asked Jeremy.
"Isn't it obvious?" asked Skylar, looking slightly to the side and raising one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows like Jack Black. "These eggy bois are all the rage nowadays among you kids. Heck, just opening one of these up can get me, like, at least 20k views."
Kiki squinted her eyes as if she was thinking really, really hard. "What is she talking about?"
"Unboxing videos, of course!" said Skylar a bit frustratedly. "You know, for like, toys, or tech gadgets, or other knick-knacks and junk. They're uber popular, especially for like, blind picks like these Cadbury eggs."
"Oh yeah," said William. "I think I've seen a few of those before. I didn't know you made videos like that."
"Yeah, my parents and, uh, older brother help me run my channel and everything. It's got 56k subs, so check it out when you get the chance."
"56k subs? As in… like, the sandwich?" asked William.
"No, as in, like, subscribers!"
"Oh, sorry. I guess I've just got sandwiches on the brain. Hmm… maybe I should start a sandwich unboxing channel."
"Stop derailing the conversation!" she was getting visibly annoyed now. "Or I might ban you from all my giveaways!"
"Giveaways?" I asked.
"Yeah, sometimes after I unbox something, I'll do a random drawing out of all my subs to see who wins it. If you follow my IG too, you have an extra entry into the drawing."
My head spun. I couldn't really make sense of all this talk about followers, channels, and giveaways, but it seemed pretty evident that Skylar was some kind of online celebrity. Pretty impressive for someone her age.
"You still haven't explained what those eggs have to do with all that, though," inputted Jeremy.
"Well, duh," admitted Skylar with a fun-loving wink. "I've gotta get this segment to ten minutes somehow. Observe." All eyes, including Jacques' unblinking eyes, were on her as she slowly and meticulously peeled the tin foil wrapper off the milk chocolate and hazelnut flavored egg-like structure. Holding the foil gingerly between her thumb and index finger, she delicately tiptoed over to the wastebasket and released the foil, letting it flutter daintily into its plastic-filled depths.
"You shoulda recycled that," mumbled Kiki.
Using her teeth gently, like a Golden Retriever, Skylar bit into the Cadbury egg's chocolatey shell. The egg separated cleanly with a satisfying pop as she at the top half before extracting the plastic capsule hidden inside. After popping the other half of the egg into her mouth, she twisted the capsule and pulled it open, creating another satisfying pop. Between the fluency and precision of her movements and the satisfying sound effects, it almost felt like ASMR, and the entire class watched, completely transfixed. No wonder the unboxing videos for these got so many views.
Finally, Skylar extracted a small, green toy frog from inside of the capsule. You know, the kind where you wind it up and the little sping loaded legs make it hop. She presented it to the rest of the class on her outstretched palm. "Ta-da!"
Similarly to how he walked slash ran without bending his knees, Kyle began applauding without bending his elbows. However, once he realized that no one else was doing so, he stopped, a disgruntled expression on his face.
"Now, since I already have a few of these frogs, I'll do a giveaway right here in this classroom," continued Skylar.
"Nuh-uh!" objected Randy. "You can't give it away to somebody unless you have enough for everyone! Sharing is caring! Otherwise, that's against the ru-ules!"
"BAAAAH!" went Jacques, much to Randy's annoyance.
"What do you mean, that's a lie?"
"I have previously discussed this matter with Mr. Pony," asserted Rachel. "That rule only applies to food items. Maddie was allowed to give William a plastic bag yesterday, despite not having enough for the rest of the class."
"That is a true fact," conceded Mr. Pony. Randy gritted his teeth, but stayed silent.
"O-kay dudes," resumed Skylar in a ridiculously overstated British accent. "Let's see… how about… you, Maddie?"
"Huh? Why me?" I asked, clearly taken aback.
"Yeah," agreed Kathleen, pounding one of her fists into her outstretched palm as if she was mashing a potato. "That seems like a good idea."
"No objection from me either," added Jordan, raising one of his hands somewhat as if he were suggesting an alternate point of view.
Bizarrely, I accepted the wind-up frog from Skylar. I eyed it a bit curiously before shrugging and slipping it into my pocket, alongside the Lucky Penny, two chips and quarter. "Thanks," I said.
"How touching!" remarked Owen, closing his eyes and cupping one of his hands around his mouth. "They all must trust you a lot, Maddie."
"Yeah, I guess," I replied a bit confusedly. Owen seemed to be back to his usual sarcastic self, at least. "I think she just chose someone at random, though."
"Oh, totes," agreed Skylar. "But don't worry, Owen. If you're jealous I can give everyone else one too. I get these imported from Russia by the case, since you can't buy them here."
"Russia? That's pretty cool," replied Owen. "I've been there a few times, y'know."
"BAAAAH!" went Jacques. Owen paid no attention to him.
"But if it means I can get a sick-nasty frog like Maddie has, I'll totally sub to your channel."
"Far-out!" approved Skylar, before turning to Mr. Pony. "How'd I do, Mr. Pony?"
"Ten minutes and twelve seconds!" answered Mr. Pony, putting their hands on their stomach. "Though I've gotta say, an ol' boomer like me just can't keep up with all this groovy lingo you hip youngsters be throwin' down nowadays, dig? I feel like I'm on That 70's Show!"
"What 70's show?" asked William.
"Oh, you know… That one!" replied Mr. Pony, putting both hands to their mouth mischievously.
"Oh, That one," answered Kiki. "I think I know what ur talking about." The way she said 'you're' made it pretty evident that she intended for it to be spelled 'ur' as opposed to any officially accepted spelling. "Anyways," she continued, putting a finger to her chin and looking up thoughtfully, "I'm getting kinda hungry. When does lunch start again?"
Staying true to their teaching nature, Mr. Pony hopped to this next topic as if they had finished showing the class one YouTube video and forgot to turn off autoplay. "I'm so glad you asked… because this is Paige Prep world by Mr. Pony, and lunchtime starts right now!" Mr. Pony's hands returned to their stomach.
"Wait," inquired Julia. "Did you not say that this school was called 'Place Prep' before?"
Mr. Pony seemingly procured a large, plastic lobster out of nowhere. "That's an excellent lobster-vation!" they cried.
Kiki burst out laughing uncharacteristically energetically. "What the heck? Why is there a lobster?" she asked.
"Hoo hoo hoo," chuckled Mr. Pony darkly. They sounded a bit like Tigger from the Hundred Acre Wood. "I've wanted to use that one for a while now. But no, this place has always been known as Paige Preparatory School."
Jacques opened his mouth, but failed to produce any sound. His unblinking eyes glanced down at his own mouth in confusion for a second before closing it shut.
"Huh?" asked Jenny. "But I'm sure that you said 'Place' two days ago."
"Did I?" inquired Mr. Pony inquisitively, tilting their head to the side and putting one of their hands to their cheek, the one on their face. "I must have misspoke then. Anyways, time's-a-wastin'! You lot need to get to the cafeteria as A$AP as possible. One, two, three, line up behind me!"
"One, two, three, line up behind Mr. Pony!" parroted Randy, taking advantage of the convenient rhyme scheme between 'me' and 'pony'. A few seconds later, we were walking towards the food building in a straight line. A bunch of thoughts swirled around my head, like sharks in a tornado. Like Jenny, and Julia, I had always thought this school was called Place Prep. It must have been as Mr. Pony said – they had just misspoken. We couldn't all be collectively misremembering things… right?