„(…) I would recognize you in another lifetime entirely, in different bodies, different times. And I would love you in all of this, until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion." - Achilles
-6-
November 2012
November will come. First, here is a different view onto our lives, because you could also look at it like this; in retroperspective:
"You found your way into my system. Didn't you? You slowly filled up every space, so there was no other chance for me than to bloody love you." He pointed his finger into her direction and his eyebrow furrowed together. "You are like poison." He stated. She knew that maybe it should hurt her, at least a little. But it was just as self-revealing to her as to him. And somehow soothing. It was her own, buried, self-destructing- behavior coming to the surface. Telling and softening. Every one had something inside of themselves that was just that. Coping. False reality. Something, anything. And the word poison didn't have to mean something bad at all now, did it? He said 'like poison'. So, in fact, she wouldn't exactly cause him death or illness. Maybe he meant like an antidote.
She replied in an instant. "And somehow you went with it." Her shoulders shrugged. "You had every chance to say no." He just stared her down and she waited for something. But it seemed like he didn't seem to find the right words. So she took the leap, went with it: "You knew I was fascinated by you, your science, even before we met."
"Yeah." He was able to agree. "You know I have that history with men, my father. Trying to make it right." She continued, let him have it. All of her truth: becoming known and hopefully alleviating. He just gave her a short nod at that. "And believe me, I am just figuring out right now, what's different between you and every other man in my life." He stepped closer to her next. Maybe he wondered what took her so long to realize what she had been doing. After all these years. She was a good damn self reflecting person. Very intelligent. Why didn't she wonder before?
"It's that you… let me, Cal."
"Let you in?" He suggested.
"You do. Now." She gave him a sad smile. "And I guess, on top of that, you love me."
"I do love you." He stepped even closer. Gazed into her eyes. To let her see it. "For being you. Even when you're like poison." He proposed; made it clear to her, why she absolutely loved him.
At this moment she felt like it was fine to fall holistic in love with him.
"Ria. I'm heading out." Gillian told her as she had her bag-pack over her shoulder and was already in the hallway, about to exit the building. The young woman just stopped shortly to let her know she understood. "Hu. Yeah, fine!" Ria took a look onto the clock on the wall next to her. "I will need you in two hours tho. For the Turner case." She shouted after her boss.
"Sure." She could hear Gillian reply when she already let the glass door fall behind herself close.
As Ria rounded the corner afterwards, she almost bursted into Cal.
"Where's Foster?" He simply asked her and went further to look around the corner, at the now closed door.
"I think she left for tennis practice." Ria answered. Being taken aback by the situation.
"Aye, aye." He turned, fastened his steps and left Ria behind again.
Later:
"Why did I get a message from Radar telling me Congratulations on my match?" Gillian just stepped into Cal's office to check up on him. After she was out to practice and then immediately in the cube and out on the field with Ria on the Turner's case. She hadn't seen him for the last five hours, or so. Her cheeks were a little heated due to all the fussing, hectic walking around. "Uh. What?" She was baffled. Her mind not catching up. He met her halfway into his room, stopped in front of her.
"Yeah. I got a damn message from that..,you know, bastard." He searched her face for anything.
"Oh." Gillian slowly smiled, understanding. "I met him at tennis practice."
"What?!"
"Told you to join me some day." She teased him.
"Bloody hell. No." He turned around. Letting her know that would never happen. "And what? You just told him there that we are shaggin', didn't you?"
Gillian sighed, let her eyes almost roll. "No. I didn't tell him we are ‚shagging'." She watched as he sat down on his chair. So she stepped in front of his desk. "I don't know how he figured it out."
He watched her subsequently. Slowly grinned back at her. Eyes sparkled.
"Liar." He told her, stood up again. Grabbed his coat, that he had placed over his chair. Afterwards he went towards Gillian, to put his arm around her. He guided her out of his office again.
"Radar playing tennis?" He looked at her shortly. "That must be a show!"
They were in her bedroom. They sat on her bed this time. Possibly because she was in charge. In charge of thinking. It was her that figured things out. Perhaps he didn't want to do that at his home. While Emily was there in the evenings. They fathomed how to get out of the situation.
He didn't mind being in her home. It felt like something different. Like it was just them. Cal and Gillian. Two human beings, with no history attached. No mask attached. No boss, no colleague, no lie doctor, no ones ex'.
"So. We will just let them have it. They're going to make their promise true. They will burn the whole place down." Gillian swallowed and he rested his hand over hers. "That is our chance then. Because they feel like they won. They stripped you off everything you have. And it gives us the chance to get back at them. With the evidence we will have then." He nodded. "Yeah."
"We're lucky our numbers aren't good either way. Maybe we will get something out of it." She continued. "Cal. It's a hell of a journey ahead."
"Yeah. But." He stopped. He tried to get it out. "We're on the same page, right?"
She breathed in heavily. "Never thought I would agree with something like that."
"It was your idea, luv." He stated in a low voice. Not to hurt her too much with his words.
She nodded and looked at him then. "I know. It's the only way to get out."
She moved and laid down flat onto her back. Every part of her pressed on the mattress. He still sat next to her and moved, so he was able to look into her face. She gazed up at him. She recognized weight like a heavy stone was putting her down, to hold her there. With watching his eyes, it was the only way to breathe. At the same time small parts of her body were moving through her like nervous electric shocks. What calmed her then was his hand, which rested on her heart like a warm fullness. It hushed everything in her and for a tiny friction she had the feeling that everything would go well.
As long it was them.
Cal and Gillian.
Next: Present November 2012
