Chapter 28
Shortly after Clarke inspected Echo's side, they went to bed. Clarke made sure to sleep on the outside of the bed. It kept her left side free, but it also allowed Echo to rest without having to worry about her back being unprotected. It also gave her the luxury of not having to sleep on her injured side.
The furs and sheets were soft and clean. Clarke was amazed at their texture. She knew that they were cared for well. She was facing the door on her right side. Her knife was under the makeshift pillow. She wasn't exactly on watch for that night, but she felt like she needed to keep an eye out. She didn't know these people or this town. She doubted that Echo did, either, but she wanted to make sure that the woman was safe.
Echo rolled over on her right side, keeping her left up. Clarke wasn't sure if it was because it was more comfortable that way or just because it would make her face towards the door as well. They both knew that the door was locked. Echo had even gone so far as to shove one of chairs under the door handle to keep it from being pried open while they slept. Neither of them were too worried about the window, either. They were on the third floor and the window was barely big enough for one of them to fit through on their stomach. It was just there it seemed to give some ambiance to the room and let a little natural light in during the day. It was basically just decoration.
Clarke didn't even flinch when she felt Echo move closer. She felt her warmth against her back. It was a familiar feeling by that point. It was how they had been sleeping in the wilderness. They were always in the other's arms. Echo had a tendency to wrap Clarke up in her arms and hold her tight. The former-blonde wasn't sure if it was just for her comfort or if it actually helped keep the nightmares at bay. Either way it was the most human contact that Clarke had had in ages. She absorbed it like a sponge and had come to rely on it to sleep better.
"Go to sleep, Clarke. We are fine here. If someone wants us dead, they'll have to figure out where we are first."
"And, you don't think that they can't do it?" Clarke asked her.
"It isn't that I don't think they can do it, it is the fact that they haven't since..."
"You got hurt?" Clarke added in inquiry.
"Sha," Echo replied.
"Were you ever going to tell me about that cut in your side?"
"Not if I didn't have to," Echo answered.
"And, why not?"
"It wasn't something for you to worry about."
"And, you aren't something that I should worry about?" Clarke asked her incredulously.
"I shouldn't be," Echo stated.
"Well, newsflash, Echo, you don't get to decide who cares about you or for you," Clarke admonished her before rhetorically asking out loud. "Why is it that warriors think that the longer they can hide the wound the better a warrior they are? Dummies. A whole lot of dummies who don't want to get treated because it might make them appear to be weak. Floating idiots. Don't you know that an infection will kill you more often than the wound will if left untreated? One would think that you have a death wish or something? Well do you?"
Clarke knew that she wasn't going to get an answer, but she felt Echo moving behind her. She was frustrated and she was taking it out on Echo. She was upset that the other woman hadn't told her about the wound. It was serious, but whatever Echo had been doing had worked well enough. It wasn't enough though because it seemed that it was still causing her great pain. The paste that Clarke had made should deal with that and by morning, Echo should feel immensely better. She cared about her Fos and she hoped that Echo cared for her. Well, she knew that she did or they wouldn't be on this adventure together.
Clarke settled back down. She wasn't sure how long they were going to stay. She hadn't asked. There had been other things on her mind. She also wondered how much money or whatever that Echo got for the furs that she'd brought into town to trade.
But, all her thoughts about anything else changed when she felt Echo tighten her arm around her waist. It was almost like Echo was pulling Clarke into her body. Clarke wasn't sure why, but she could tell that this had become something that Echo needed to do.
"Echo?"
"Sha?"
"Will you tell me more about your legendary Wanheda and the people around her?"
"What else would you like to know?" Echo asked in return.
Clarke thought for a minute. All the tales that she'd heard back in Troi centered around the telling of Wanheda's return, but Clarke wanted to know more. She wanted Echo to elaborate more on the tales that she'd grown up with. Clarke needed to know.
"Everything," Clarke finally breathed out into the darkness.
The only light in the room now was the embers of the fire. Echo had thrown a rather large log on before they got in bed to keep them warm for the evening. It wasn't roaring. It was just enough to keep the fire fed for a good number of hours and keep the room heated enough to be comfortable to sleep.
Echo must have known that she was tired. She had said anything to Clarke about her use of Gonasleng. Instead, she just matched her for the most part except when she was answering "sha" instead of "yes." It was something small, but it was also something that Clarke's sleep brain picked up on. It was something small, but she noticed a change in Echo the closer that they got to Tawa. It was just in little things.
In the end, Echo got as close as she could to Clarke. She molded herself to Clarke's back. Clarke didn't mind. She liked the warmth and comfort that it brought. Clarke could feel her breath across her ear. Echo reached up and moved Clarke's hair as she buried her head partially on the pillow and Clarke's shoulder. Her arm snaked over Clarke's left side and held her tightly. Clarke wasn't sure if Echo knew what she was doing, but she didn't complain. She just smiled as she reached up and started running her hand up and down Echo's left arm. She squeezed Clarke harder, almost to the point where it was getting hard to breathe. Clarke just rubbed her arm a little harder. Eventually, her hand snaked down Echo's arm and she laced their fingers together. Echo sighed.
"The tales of Wanheda are all jumbled. I'm sure that each clan has their own version. But, I would like to believe the one that I was taught. You see we know that Keyron blessed Heda with natjus. We didn't know that Keyron sent it from the stars. The first Heda was killed for her knowledge, but keyron was angry with Man. So, he sent Wanheda to bring them back to the true path of life.
"Some of the tales speak of helpers that are closer to Wanheda than others. I've heard some tales speak of a hundred, but most of the ones that I know and love only tell of the Twel. They are the Twelve and they represent the twelve elements of life for Earth. Where Wanheda is death, they are life, so they balance each other. But, really I think the twel are there to help Wanheda carry the burden of survival. For you see, Keyron only sends Wanheda back to us when they are needed to help us save ourselves. I think that they represent the love that Keyron has for us as people. Without we will all die."
"Everyone is going to die because I am not some strong mythical person, Echo."
"But, you are alone, Clarke. You need your twel. Without them, no one can control what is to come. But, Wanheda will come from the stars, like you. She will lead us into a better life, but she will suffer for it. You suffer, Clarke, even if you don't want to admit it. I know that you carry scars upon your heart. You bear so much so that others don't have to, but you can't do that alone."
"You offering?" Clarke asked as she tipped her head up to the left.
This put her in an odd position. She didn't need light to know what Echo's eyes were saying. She'd seen it too many times in the last few weeks. Even in the dark, Clarke knew the affection in Echo's eyes and face, but she didn't know if it was for her or for the fabled Wanheda.
"If I were one of the Twel, it wouldn't even be a question, Clarke. I've spent my whole life doign what Nia asked of me just to stay alive, but that never stopped my want for Wanheda to come and free us all. I am not saying that Lexa was a bad Heda. She wasn't. She was one of the best. She'd done things that no other Heda had done before. That wasn't going to stop Nia, though. For Lexa to become the greatest, she needs Wanheda at her side and for whatever it is that she wants. Without Wanheda, Heda is only as good as they want to be. Wanheda will make them better."
"I didn't."
"But, you did."
"I didn't, though. I made her look weak because I was the one that felled the Mountain, not her. I am the reason that she is dead. I am the reason that Ontari is now Heda. All of that is my fault," Clarke lamented.
"But, it isn't. Yes, you felled the Mountain. You commanded that they would die instead of the rest of us. You turned reapers back to men. You commanded that they would live and not be the monsters of mothers' stories. You gave them life. You brought new ways of healing. You asked for Lexa to try to not always seek death as the answer, and I am sure that she tried. Even in the arena of the Ice Pits, you never played with your opponents. You delivered them mercy and gave them a quick death, or if I could let you know their crimes you made them pay before delivering their death blow. But, you never saw it as anything more than survival for yourself. You didn't set out to kill them. You didn't want to kill most of them, but you did it. And, with their deaths you granted them freedom from Nia and her rule. It was a blessing in disguise. And, even though Ontari tricked you or not, you did not make her challenge Lexa. She did that because of Nia's ambition. She's been Nia's since she was found."
"And, you aren't?" Clarke quipped.
"If I was, I wouldn't be here with you."
"That doesn't make me feel any better," Clarke replied.
"I know, and maybe it shouldn't. But, at least you know that you have one friend amongst Azgeda," Echo responded.
"Who? Huron or Erie?"
"Clarke..." Echo said lowly. "I know that you don't believe that I care, but I do."
"No, I know that you care. I just can't believe why. I am just one girl against the world, here, and you seem to think that I am some great hero. I am not, though. I never will be. Sure, you've taught me to fight, how to survive, how to hunt and all that gloriousness, but I am still no hero for the people."
"That is because Nia kept you hidden. And, if what you say is true, your time to save us all has past. There is nothing that you can do now to save us."
"There isn't," Clarke replied.
"Then, we will do what we can while we can. I will gladly face this Praimfaya by your side, Wanheda. That I believe would be the greatest honor that I could have in this lifetime. Hopefully, in the next, I will do better. I will stand up to people like Nia, but if that is not to be the case, I will gladly face oblivion with you, Clarke," Echo told her with an honestly that Clarke hadn't heard in ages...since her father's recording on the Ark.
She sniffled as tears came to her eyes, thinking about her father. She needed to think about something else. She needed the distraction. She didn't want to go down that rabbit hole in a tavern in Tawa when she knew that the nightmares would wake other patrons. No, she needed to find a way to make sure that it didn't happen. Echo holding her would help, but it would only do so much. She knew that from the nights she woke out of the ice. Echo never said anything and she might not have known, but Clarke did and it was enough.
Clarke didn't realize that she had squeezed Echo's arm harder. She didn't want to think about Echo dying with her. She didn't want to think about Echo dying at all, but she wasn't sure that if she proposed saving her with her own blood that Echo would allow it. Much less, if Echo would even do it. Black blood was sacred to the Grounders. She knew that it also meant life after the bombs and Praimfaya, and those that had it would survive at a greater rate. Unfortunately, it had become a recessive trait in the DNA of those that did survive and within generations it was sacred and scarce. But, it was a thought that Clarke keep in mind. She knew that she had time, but she wondered if it could possibly be enough to convince Echo to let it try. Her fingers tensed harder.
"Clarke?"
"Sorry," Clarke replied as she made her fingers release.
"You were thinking about life on the Ark, again, weren't you?" Echo questioned.
"A little, yeah," Clarke told her.
It was partially true, though. She had been thinking about life on the Ark with her father. She missed him. She missed her mother, too. Getting letters from Raven and Octavia hurt, but it kept her hopeful as well. She prayed to whatever deities were around that they would stay safe. She couldn't save them, either. At least not in this life time, she couldn't and she wouldn't. It wasn't because she didn't want to save. It really wasn't. She just knew that she didn't have enough time to do the things she wanted. She survived Praimfaya, and lifetimes after, but she wasn't sure that she wanted to chance that they might get sucked into this crazy recycling that she was doing. It was bad enough for her without her sentencing anyone else to her plight.
"What is it?" Echo inquired.
Clarke ran her hand down Echo's arm again. Her fingers felt a scar. She need the distraction, so she used it against Echo. It was petty, but she knew it'd work.
"How did you get this scar?" Clarke asked her.
"Which one?" Echo replied.
Clarke ran her fingers over the scar again. It wasn't that large on her arm, but it was a different texture. It felt like a burn, but she wasn't sure that is it what it was from. She was sure that there was more of a story to it than it was just a sealed wound.
"Oh, that one," Echo answered as she pulled Clarke tighter against her, again. "That was one of my first battle wounds. After Nia took me in, I was sent to Sangeda. Their leader was expecting...me...so, he was delighted when I first showed up. He was glad that I hadn't been marked by Nia or anyone else in Azgeda. He wanted to be the one that marked me. He wanted me to be his. What he didn't know was why I was sent."
"Which was?" Clarke questioned.
"To find out what I could about him and Sangeda to exploit it," Echo stated. "Everything that Nia does is to get power. I was young, though, barely ten summers, I believe when I went. I learned how to hunt in the desert, how to track, how to fight like most Sangeda gona, but the entire time I was there, I was reporting back to Nia. How they never figured out that it was me is still a surprise to me. I wasn't that great of a spy at the time."
"Well, it must have been enough," Clarke stated. "You're still here and I'm assuming that the man that gave you that isn't."
"No, he isn't."
"Is that how you knew about Ledo?" Clarke asked.
"Partially, yes," Echo answered.
"Echo?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for helping me," Clarke stated.
It was quiet and sad, but she knew that Echo understood what she was saying. Echo could have made her life extremely hellish in Azgeda, but she hadn't. Instead the spy had tried to help her from the moment that she knew that Clarke was a natblida. She knew that her beliefs in Wanheda helped, too, but lately, there seemed to be something more in it as well. Clarke didn't want to push her more that night.
"Echo?"
"Hmm?" she mouthed, sleepily.
"Does Azgeda have its own language, too?"
"Sha, they do," Echo answered slipping back into Trigedasleng.
"Will you teach it to me?"
"Not many still speak it."
"But, you do."
"I learned it growing up with my parents first. I learned Trigedasleng after Nia took me in. Gonasleng was taught in Troi, too."
"But, will you teach me?"
"Yeah, I can."
"That's good," Clarke answered and then asked. "Does Ontari and Nia know Azgedasleng?"
"Nia does or keeps someone close to her that does, but I'm not sure about Ontari. I've never heard her speak it. There was never a reason to at Court for the most part since most of the gona and courtiers spoke Trigedasleng."
"Did you hear Nia speak it?"
"No, I just knew that she understood it from the messages that I sent and received while in Sangeda."
For Clarke it was a revelation. It was how Echo communicated as a spy and Nia knew what she was saying. It didn't mean that Nia knew it fluently enough to use it. Knowing Nia, she kept a squad of people at her disposal that spoke and wrote different languages. She would use these people to forward messages and orders for her. The correspondence with Echo was no different. And, these people were probable now with Nia in Polis. She would want to keep them close and very loyal to her so that they didn't betray her in a letter. It was a way to bring Nia down, completely in another life. Her letters would be her downfall. All Clarke would need were some letters and someone who could read them.
"That's how no one in Sangeda knew what you were saying," Clarke told her.
"That makes sense," Echo said as she burrowed her nose into Clarke's shoulder. "Reshop, Wanheda."
"Reshop, Ekou. Good night," Clarke replied as she held Echo's arm.
There was something definitely there, but Clarke wasn't sure what it meant. She knew that the relationship between fos and sekken was sacred and close. She wondered if she was just so starved for human connection that she was reading more into it than there was. She sighed and decided not to worry about it. She needed to be worried about them surviving and getting to Becca's. And, those were her last thoughts as she fell asleep to the gentle sounds of Echo breathing near her ear.
