Chapter 34
Clarke was in the lab. She barely remembered how to pull up the weather station down there. She knew that the radiation wave was coming. She also knew that she had a little time. There wasn't much, but there was enough that she could create enough Night Blood serum from her own marrow to inoculate Echo with it. Convincing her still was going to be the hardest part of the operation. But, she also wanted to stay ahead of the coming storm. She knew that Echo wouldn't understand, but with the right equipment, Clarke would see the Death Wave and they would be inside the lab, underground, to ride it out.
She sighed. She'd found Becca's book and started using to calibrate all the machines. Thankfully all her different lives had taught how to read it. She might not get the tech side of things, where was Raven when she needed her, but she understood all the medical parts, thanks to her mother's teachings. It was times like this that she missed not only Raven and her mother, but also her father. He had been her rock for so long, but that job was quickly heading towards Echo. Clarke didn't over think it. She knew that Echo stoicism and her quick wit were something that she needed.
She also didn't want to be alone. She knew that it would over two months before she'd find Madi in Eden. She hoped that she would have Echo with her this time and things would be different. She knew that it was selfish, but that didn't stop her wanting it. She knew that Echo wasn't going to take it willingly. She'd thought about drugging her one night during their dinner and forcing Echo to sleep to give her the injection, but she knew that no matter all of that, Echo would be stubborn enough to go outside during the Death Wave and greet it. She knew that she had to talk to her about, but she didn't know how to change her views on something that most if not all the Grounders held as sacred in their society.
Echo hadn't been down to see what she was doing. Clarke didn't know if it was because she didn't want to know, or if it was because she was fascinated by all the movies that Clarke had picked out for her to watch. So far, she'd found the Lord of the Rings and Robin Hood as her favorites. There was also an old pirate movie with a female lead that she liked. Clarke thought that it was called Cutthroat Island or something like that. Clarke thought that Luna would like the movie, too, and not just beause of the pirates. She would want to see it for the ships.
Clarke enjoyed their days there. They had a routine. Clarke would be in the lab doing whatever it was that she needed to do while Echo did what she did. Clarke just assumed that she was training and watching movies. A few times, she'd even caught the older warrior cooking in the kitchen and the food had been delicious. Clarke never pushed to see what Echo was up to. She felt like it was something private, something that Echo thought she had to do, or something that Echo thought she needed to do in order to keep them safe. She was always on guard.
Clarke also realized that Echo was taking tours of the island. It was like she was mapping it out. Clarke couldn't fathom why and she didn't ask. She just figured that it was something that Echo needed to do in order to feel safer there.
"Heya!" Echo called out as she entered the lab and came down the ladder.
Clarke looked up from the computer and machines that she was working with. Echo was dressed in some of the clothes that they had found. She looked good and Clarke could only wonder what she would do if she gave her some tips on what to wear. Clarke couldn't help but smile as she came into the lab. She couldn't help but feel a little better in the clothes that Becca had. She knew it was because it reminded her of the Ark, but it was more than for her. It wasn't leather and fur. It was familiar. It made her feel like she was on the right path...again...that somehow she'd find a way to end her endless loop.
"What are you working on now, Skaifaya?" Echo asked before teasing, "A way for us to get back to the stars? Is there a way for us to go?"
"Actually yes, there is, but not a way to get back to the ground if we did. We'd die before we lived. But, Beka did leave us a rocket. We'll never have to use it, though. No worries about that. You'll still be able to see your stars from here," Clarke teased back while actually telling her the truth.
"Your friends are gone," Echo stated as she picked up one of the instruments on the lab table.
"Gone?"
Echo still held the instrument. She turned it around and around in her hands before she looked back up into Clarke's cerulean eyes. A small smirk crossed her face quickly before Echo hid it. She reached into her pocket and pulled something out. Holding it in her right hand, Echo held Clarke's eyes again.
"They've left the island. Took their boat too. I think the boy left you a note," Echo stated as she handed her the folded-up piece paper.
Clarke took and unfolded it. She skimmed it quickly before smiling. As much shit as she gave Murphy in every life, he was always the one that would and did come through for her in the end. It looked like this was going to be no different. Looking up, she realized that Echo was waiting to know what it said.
"Murphy told me that they were going to sneak back down to Arkadia. He was going to take one of the rovers. It is a horseless carriage that is good for navigating through the woods. He said that they knew of the point that I was talking about and they'd park it there. No one would bother it. He was going to hide the keys and the solar panels inside it like I asked. Then, he mentions that he doesn't owe me anything else and not to ask for it. He and Emori are going to head towards the Rig to see Luna and then south. They want to keep the bunker lighthouse if possible. He hopes that we will eventually meet again."
"So, they are gone," Echo replied as she nodded. Setting the instrument down and moving around the table, she leaned against it, leaning over with both arms on the surface before she asked. "Will they survive Praimfaya with Luna if they go to her Rig? Will Luna even take them in?"
"Luna might. But, they won't survive. No one will who is outside due to the radiation and then the Death Wave. Praimfaya won't discriminate. Luna won't survive it either, just because she has natjus. She'll have been exposed for too long. As it is, we will get sick and then better. Luna won't be able to escape the Death Wave because she doesn't know it is coming. And, she won't dare come to shore because of Nia and Ontari. She's stuck on her Rig with her people. They will all die together, but Luna will watch them all die first. She will be the last," Clarke explained and then hung her head.
Echo was quiet for a minute. She realized that Clarke was upset and she understood. Losing Skaikru was bad. Losing Lexa was worse. Losing the entire human race was unfathomable, but Clarke knew that it was coming. She also knew that it hurt Clarke that she couldn't stop it, either.
She could tell that Clarke was studying something. It had been two weeks since they landed on the island and Clarke spent more time in the lab than she did with Echo. The warrior wasn't mad, but she didn't know why. And, then something about Clarke's explanation hit her funny.
"Why did you say that we will get sick from Praimfaya before we get better? What do you mean? You said before that only Natblida will survive it."
"Because we will survive it."
"How? I am not Natblida. You told me that giving me your natjus would only clean my jus. Did you lie to me?"
"No, Ekou, I did not."
"Then, how will I survive it?" Echo asked her, staring deeply into her eyes.
"Because I'm going to make you a natblida just like Beka did for those who survived the bombs almost a hundred years ago," Clarke told her.
"Klark..." Echo said as she started to get up.
Clarke reached across the table and grabbed Echo's hand. She held her in place, to keep her from leaving. She knew that Echo was going to be upset about this. She'd prepared for it, but she didn't know if Echo would even listen to her arguments. Echo's eyes were full of fire, but Clarke knew that hers were as well. She wasn't going to let this go. The warrior woman had brought it on herself. She'd made Clarke accept her role as Wanheda, so she was. She was commanding her, silently, to stay with her and survive this cataclysm.
"Yu laik Echo kom Azgeda no mou. Yu laik Ash kom Az kom Wanheda. Yu laik gona kom Wanheda, sha?"
"Sha," Echo/Ash answered, never letting her gaze wander as she looked at Clarke.
"You told me that you would fight with me until the end. Why are you giving up so soon, Ash? Why are you so afraid?"
Echo tried to pull on her hand to break free from Clarke's grip, but the blonde held tighter. Clarke moved around the table, still holding on to Echo as she got closer to the woman. She could see the fear in Echo's eyes.
"You do not have to be afraid of me, Ash. I am here to help save the world, but I need your help. You swore once to the Keepers of Wanheda that should you ever meet her, that you would protect her, care for her, and help her in any way that she asked. Is that a false statement?"
"You know that it isn't," Echo answered, her voice faltering as she looked deeply into Clarke's blue eyes.
"I commanded you once already to live. Will you make me do it again? Or, will you accept that I am trying to save you?"
"I don't deserve to be saved."
"Because of everything that you've done? You don't feel worthy of me," Clarke paused. She had to gather her words. When she realized that Echo was waiting on her, she continued, "That's funny, because I have never felt and probably never will feel worthy of being called Wanheda, much less actually being Wanheda. But, I noticed something back in the bunker when we were together. I never said anything because I didn't understand it then, but after reading Beka's journal and putting some of the things that you said against her words, it made sense."
Echo looked at her quizzically. Clarke moved further into her. She grabbed at the bottom hem of Echo's shirt and pulled it up to her chest, tucking it into her breast band. She ran her hand over her stomach, reverently and gently. Clarke looked down at the scar, as she traced it with her index finger, briefly before looking back up into Echo's brown-hazel eyes. They were darker and Clarke could see the warring emotions in them. She knew that Echo just needed the right push, but Clarke wasn't sure if she could do it. To save her, though, she would.
"Keyron marked you for me. That is the mark of Ice upon you. It is one of the elements of life, sha? That would make you mine, sha?"
"Sha, Wanheda, it would."
"Then, I am telling you to take the marrow so that you can stay with me."
"Klark...natjus is sacred. I would be an abomination to the people. I would be no better than a freikdreina."
"Number one, never use that word again. Number two, there will be no one around to contest it. Number three, I want you to have it."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to be alone, Ash. I don't want to watch you die in Praimfaya. I don't want to watch you burn. I need you," Clarke told her with her voice finally breaking with all the emotion that she'd been hiding over the last two weeks they'd been on the island.
It was the last phrase that broke Echo's resolve. She'd been fighting her feelings for Clarke for months, but to hear her say that she needed her... Echo agreed. She nodded, shaking her head, to let Clarke know that she would take the marrow. She would taint herself because Wanheda willed it so. She would make herself an abomination because Clarke asked it of her. She would take the natjus because Clarke wanted her.
Hours later, she mused that she would have shot herself if she knew that she was going to have to hurt Clarke in order to make the procedure work. To her amazement, Clarke didn't scream when she drilled into her body and extracted the bonejus. She didn't understand what Clarke was doing, but she handed her things and helped her make more natjus.
"I need to lay down," Clarke told her as she finished programming the machines to duplicate the marrow to make the serum.
Echo didn't reply. She walked over to Clarke and simply picked her up. She carried her out of the lab and up the stairs to the room that Clarke had been using.
"No, your room," Clarke countered and Echo merely nodded as she crossed the hall into the other room.
She sat Clarke down gingerly on the bed. Pulling back the covers and getting the pillows set, Echo moved around the bed and lifted Clarke again. Setting her down this time in the bed on the ready made side. She was quieter still as she prepared herself for bed. She didn't even care that they hadn't eaten. She was more worried about Clarke and the hole that she'd put in her hip.
"The serum should be ready in the morning," Clarke told her as Echo finally climbed into the bed beside her.
Echo didn't reply. She just lay there in the bed staring at the ceiling. She didn't know what to think. Tomorrow she would be taking the marrow or the serum, she wasn't sure because she didn't understand it, but she knew by the end of the day, she'd be a natblida like Clarke, like Lexa, like Ontari. She didn't know how to process that. She knew that if she didn't believe in Praimfaya, she might travel back to Polis and challenge Ontari. Fat lot of good that it would do for her. Even if she possibly won, she had no idea what she would do for the people if she were to become heda. That had never been an option for her. She was just an orphan of war that survived because she'd killed her best friend. And, now, here she was in bed with Wanheda curled up next to her.
"You're thinking too hard. Sleep. We can talk more about it in the morning."
"Will it hurt?"
"Not any more than a pin prick, a tiny scratch," Clarke answered with a yawn.
"I will need to hunt before Praimfaya."
"Maybe, but we'll be okay. There are stores here. I know that they aren't what you are used to, but they will sustain us until we get to Eden."
"And, you are sure that Eden in Louwoda Kliron will survive?"
"The valley, yes. The people, no. We will be safe there. And, before you ask, we will be taking the guns with us."
"As you command, ain Skaifaya."
"One day," Clarke started and then yawned again. "I am going to get you to tell me why you call me 'your star'."
Echo just nodded. She knew that Clarke didn't see it. She took a deep breath and let it out. She was trying to force her body to relax. Instead, she knew precisely where Clarke was and what parts of her body that Clarke was touching. The blonde, now fully back thanks to Becca's wonderful soaps and shampoos, was curled up completely with Echo's left side. Her left leg, the one she bade Echo drill, was haphazardly draped over Echo's legs. Clarke was like a small monkey, but Echo wasn't complaining. Instead, she reached under Clarke and held her closer. She knew that underneath all the bravado that Clarke was showing that day, she was scared, too. And, she was also afraid of the nightmares that were to come due to the procedure that she'd undergone that day. Echo didn't blame her. It was too close to Mount Weather. She would gladly hold Clarke all night and keep the nightmares away.
Thankfully, neither of them had an nightmares that night. Echo didn't sleep though. She stayed up holding Clarke and hoping that nothing would change for her, for them, as soon as she took the serum. She was restless, but she stayed still for Clarke's sake.
And, in the morning, after they woke, showered and ate breakfast, she silently followed the blonde back down into the lab. She sat on the stool and took the shot that Clarke made out of the serum. She sighed when she honestly didn't feel it. She watched as Clarke's natjus entered her body. Her eyes flicked up from the shot to Clarke's and held them.
"Biga mochof, Ash. Mochof," Clarke mouthed at her as she leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. (thank you very much, Ash. Thank you.)
