Chapter 37
"We need to pack up," Clarke told her.
"Now?" Ash questioned.
"We need to be ready to leave."
"You want to go now?"
"No, I just..."
"You're tired of being in here and you want to go find your valley?"
"Yes," Clarke answered, exaserbated.
"I understand, Skaifaya. We will get to your Eden when the levels are low enough for us to travel. Even you said that we need to be careful with our blood."
"It is just that Madi is there alone," Clarke started.
"I know, Skaifaya. And, if she is hearty and hale as you've told me, she will still be there when we get there. It is meant to be that you are the one that finds her, Clarke. You are Wanheda. And, while you really didn't have a say in her family's death, you will have a say in her life. She will come to see you for who you are meant to be for her. Keyron has made it so, even if you don't believe in it," Ash told her.
"I know," Clarke replied.
"Then, rest up. We can pack and get ready if you would like. Or, you could read some more of that book you found to me," Ash suggested.
"I still don't understand why you don't want me to teach you to read it. You can read and write in Azgeda en Trig, why is Gonasleng so hard for you?"
"Because the spelling and pronunciation doesn't make sense."
"I never said that it was easy," Clarke replied. "But, we've got time. I could teach you. It wouldn't hurt you to learn it."
"When we get to Eden, then you can teach me," Ash relented.
"Deal," Clark said quickly and put her hand how to shake on it.
Ash looked at her hand and then up into Clarke's eyes. The blonde cocked her head for moment and then looked at her own hand. She wanted to face palm herself. She hadn't realized that she done it, though. It was a custom that Ash wasn't used to. Clarke might have had her watching movies and listening to books, but that didn't mean that Ash understood all the slang, idioms, and gestures that the people did. She was picking up on it quickly though. She'd been known to pull out a few quips that she'd heard before Praimfaya in the movies on Clarke over the last few weeks. Shaking hands, however, wasn't something that she'd come to be familiar with, though.
"This is an old world custom. We shake hands when we make a pact or a deal. It was a way of solidifying it in the eyes of both parties," Clarke told her.
"Why?"
"Something about meaning that you were giving your word to someone, and your word meant how trustworthy you were to the other individual. Breaking your word or a going back on a deal meant that you weren't just untrustworthy, you were breaking an oath and bond with the other party. Isn't breaking an oath bad among the clans? I would think it was given on how harsh the punishments can be," Clarke mused.
"Breaking an oath is seen as very dishonorable, and sometimes can lead to duals and death," Ash replied.
"So, it hasn't changed much since the bombs fell," Clarke quipped. "How would you solidify an oath then?"
Ash reached out for her arm and gripped her forearm tightly. Her eyes held Clarke's. When Clarke finally reciprocated, she squeezed her fingers around Clarke's forearm. Clarke repeated the gesture, and then they both let go of each other. Clarke realized then that it was settled. She would actually start to teach Ash how to read Gonasleng once they were all settled and set up in Eden. She couldn't help the smile that crossed her face.
"I'm going to hold you to it," Clarke stated.
"I would expect nothing less from you, Skaifaya," Ash replied.
So, that is how they spent the next two days. They got everything ready for them to leave. Clarke knew that it was going to be a rough venture, but she wanted to make it as easy as they could. She knew that Ash's idea of the sleds was one way that they could make things a little easier on them. They wouldn't have to carry so much on their back. They would just have to pull it.
Clarke checked what instruments had survived the Death Wave and hadn't melted. She had to think back to all the training that her mother had given her about nuclear exposure and how rads they could safely handle now. It had been forty-two days, like before. The levels were now low enough for them to leave. She looked over at Ash and wondered if she was going to be as safe as Clarke promised she would be. She needed her to be okay, but they wouldn't really know until they got out of the lab and back on the surface.
It took a few hours, but they made their way out. When they broke the surface, Clarke looked around at the desert surrounding them. Ash came out after her. The warrior pulled the sleds and the rest out of the whole to the surface. When everything was out, Ash stood by her side and laid her hand on Clarke's shoulder. They pulled their hoods up and covered their faces. Looking around, Ash found her ebenezer. She pointed it out. Clarke nodded and they headed off in that direction. Ash led the way and set a moderate pace.
It took a day and a half to get to the Rover. It was exactly where Clarke asked for it to be. She knew that she would owe Murphy and Emori for this in another life, but for now, she was happy. It took another half a day to dig it out. Thankfully for the sleds, they used them as makeshift shovels. It made things go easier and quicker.
Once they had it fully dug out, Clarke smiled and took in the vehicle. She opened the back and tossed her pack inside. She moved around in the back and pulled down a rack on the let side. She put her rifle there. She reached out for Ash's and placed it in the space beneath hers. She looked around and found a small tool box. Grabbing it, she clambered out of the Rover.
She stepped around and opened the back passenger doors. She pulled out the solar panels. She started putting them on the side of the Rover, so they could charge it up to be used. While Clarke was working on getting the Rover working again, Ash was unpacking what was from the sleds and putting it all in the back. She was setting up the back. When Clarke was done, she looked at Ash as saw that she even had their bedrolls undone and ready for them for the night.
Clarke packed up the tools and checked the battery levels. They were low, and the sun was down. Ash reached over and handed her a ration bar.
She tried not to grimace at the sight. She knew that it was nutrition. She knew that it would give her enough fuel to make it to Eden. She chewed on the bar and took the small bit of water that Ash gave her. She knew that they were rationing the water harder than they had been in the lab. Clarke knew that they weren't going to find fresh, clean, drinkable water until they were in Eden. She drank down her fill of the water and handed the container back to Ash to store. She knew that the water needed to stay under cover, in the coolest place they could find. They had no artificial way to cool it, and drinking warm or hot water would just keep them warm.
"Finished?" Ash asked her.
"Yeah," Clarke replied.
"Lay down, Skaifaya. We are out, now. We will start our journey to get Madi in the morning."
"I know that, I'm just thinking..."
"Well, don't. It will do you no good. We don't know what happened in your valley, and we won't until we get there. Don't fret yourself into a frenzy. We will get there. We will find her. She is like us and is a natblida. She'll be fine until we get to her."
"I'm just worried," Clarke stated.
"I know you are, Skaifaya, but we'll find her," Ash told her.
Clarke gave a weak smiled. Ash must have seen it in the moonlight that was streaming into the back of the Rover. She rolled up onto her side and pulled Clarke closer. She held her. She knew that it was a familiar gesture, but Clarke needed it. Clarke melted into her. She needed the comfort. She needed someone, and she'd cursed Ash with natjus to have it.
Ash held her close. They'd slept together many times, so this was nothing new for either of them. But, this wasn't adrenaline fueled, this was more emotional. She was free of being Echo. She was free of Azgeda and Queen Nia. Ash was finally free to be herself. It had been many seasons since she'd even spoken or answered to her real name. And, now, Clarke refused to call her anything else. She smiled as she tucked Clarke's head under her chin.
She couldn't help how she felt about the blonde. They had been together for so long that feelings were bound to develop. Ash might not have ever seen Clarke with Lexa, but she knew how much the blonde cared for heda. Clarke never sought companionship after her times in the Pits like some other competitors did. Clarke was unique. Ash knew that. She knew that she was amazing and it wasn't just because she was Wanheda.
Clarke woke the next morning still in Ash's arms. The sun wasn't even up yet, but she was. She turned just enough to see that Ash was still asleep. She couldn't figure out what woke her. And then, she listened. There was no sounds of wildlife. She knew that the world was dead, but to hear nothing now that they are out of the lab, was very disconcerting.
She could remember sleeping out in the caves or just in the forests of Trikru. She knew that the night wasn't as quiet as people would lead you to believe. There were sounds all around from the animals to the insects, even the wind through the leaves. But, now, there was nothing. There was wind, but nothing for it to blow through. She knew that she wouldn't see any real life, and then it was just insects, until they got to the burned out forests south of Polis, TonDC and Arkadia. She didn't know why it was bothering her so much, but it was. Even on the Ark, there was the steady hum of the tech.
"Chit?" Ash murmured as she slowly opened her eyes.
"It's nothing."
"No, it is something. What's wrong? Why are you awake?"
"It's too quiet."
"And the lack of noise woke you?" Ash questioned as she slowly let Clarke go and rolled up more to look at the blonde.
"No, it is that I am just so used to hearing something. Now, there is nothing. I don't like it."
"Will your Rover make noise?"
"Sha," Clarke answered.
"Is it ready to go?" Ash asked her as she looked over the seats towards the front dash, not knowing what she needed to see.
"No, it won't be ready for awhile. It charged a good bit with what little sun light we had before we actually made camp, but it still needs more. I can charge while we drive though. So, we can start the journey towards Eden after breakfast."
"Another one of your ration bars?" Ash questioned.
"I don't like them either, but they will give us what we need to live until we get to the valley. I know that they don't taste good. They are made for survival not to be good. If they were good, then everyone would want them. No body wants to be eating these, Ash. We do it to live," Clarke told her.
"Remind me that in a few days when we don't have any meat left," Ash quipped back as she started to get up.
"You still have meat?" Clarke questioned.
"It is dried jerky, but yes, I do. I kept some sealed up for the journey. I knew that the bars didn't taste good. And, I know that you like fresh meat. It isn't the freshest, but it can serve. I can't make a stew from it. But, we do have things other than your bars to eat, Klark."
"See, this is why I need you. I would be eating nothing but those bars. And, I would be rationing them until I got to Eden. I know it is going to take about seven days or so to get there."
"It shouldn't, though," Ash countered.
"It will though," Clarke replied.
"Why? If there is nothing between us and the valley but burnt land and sand, why will it take so long? There is nothing to hinder your Rover, right?"
"No, not really," Clarke answered.
"Then, why will it take so long?"
"I want to make two stops," Clarke stated.
"Where?"
"Polis and Arkadia."
"Klark..."
"Look, I know there is nothing there for me, but I still want to go. I need to go. I can't explain it to you, but I need..."
"Then, we will go."
"You aren't going to fight me on this more?"
"No, we have the rations to make it. I know that we can't hunt, but we have the rations. We also have the water if we are strict with it. I follow you now, Wanheda. You've commanded my death. Where you go, I go," Ash told her.
Clarke sighed. It wasn't the answer she wanted, but she knew that it was the answer she was going to get. Ash had pledged herself to her so many times while they were in the lab, Clarke was beginning to think that the older woman had a complex, that she needed someone to devote her life to. Clarke didn't want it to be her, but she knew that there was no way she was going to talk her out of it, either. Ash was the product of her upbringing, her training, and the lore of the Ground. She could no more not follow Clarke to the ends of the Earth, than she could deny that she was Ekou kom Azgeda.
"Polis is on the way and then Arkadia."
"Are you sure that you want to do this, though?" Ash asked one more time.
"Sha, I am."
"Then, lay down and rest some more. The sun will be up soon enough and the heat will come with it. You are still a little red from yesterday. Is that from the Fallou or the sun?"
"Both, I think. While we can be out here, we should limit our exposure to the sun. The sun itself gives us radiation, heat, and light. I know it will be hot, but we need to stay covered for a little while longer while we outside the Rover."
"And, at night?"
"Without the sun to aggravate things, we should be okay."
"So, should we be charging during the day and driving at night, then?" Ash questioned.
"After Polis, probably, yes. And, we need to look out for sand storms. We have to protect the panels."
"Klark, I know that there is more that you haven't told me. I do not fault you for that, but I want to ask you something. You don't have to answer."
"Chit, Ash?" Clarke responded in question.
"You have been speaking about this like you know it personally. This isn't like you've dreamt about it and just know it. This is like you've lived it before. I know that you said that Wanheda gave you truths, but...Klark, it is like you are part of Keyron themselves."
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"I would, Klark. I would. I think you are just afraid to tell me."
"I am."
"Klark, I am not going to leave you. I am bound to you. We have never officially broken the bonds of fos and sekken. And, while I have pledged myself to you because you are Wanheda, I willingly took the natjus. I am bound to you until I die. I will not break that vow," Ash told her.
"I know and that is why I am afraid."
Ash cocked her head and looked at her. She could see the emotion in Clarke's eyes. The blonde was scared of what the truth would mean for her. She wasn't really scared to tell her. She was scared at how Ash was going to react.
"Just tell me," Ash tried again, in English, hoping it would push Clarke to tell her whatever the secret was.
"Okay, fine, you want to know, I'll tell you," Clarke said with a huff as she moved across the back of the Rover to lean against its wall. "I've lived this life before. Actually, I've lived this life several times. In my first life, it wasn't you that found me, but Roan. He took me to Lexa not Nia. Nia still tried her coup, but failed. She challenged Lexa herself but had Roan fight. In the end, Lexa killed her instead of Roan during the dual and then proclaimed him king. Ontari fled Polis, but didn't stop her mission. Titus ended up killing Lexa trying to kill me. I stayed for her ceremony. All the Night Bloods swore to protect me and Skaikru. Instead, Ontari snuck in the day before the conclave and killed all the Night Bloods in their sleep. I fled Polis with the Flame. Murphy pretended to be the Flame Keeper. Whole lot of shit went down because of Becca's AI, uh...her tech...we found out about the Death Wave and figured out how to save the people. We tried to make enough Night Blood to give to everyone. We wanted to test it and Becca had a radiation test chamber. The first test...failed... We'd used Luna's blood because she was the only Night Blood still alive. When it came time to test another subject, I couldn't let anyone do it. I gave myself the serum, but mother wouldn't test me in the chamber becaue of the failure. So, we had to find another way to survive."
"Okay..."
"In the end, we found a bunker in Polis. It would hold twelve hundred people for the five years that we predicted it would take the Earth to bounce back and hold life again. Some of my friends and I ended up in the lab. We realized too late that they weren't going to make it back to the bunker, so they decided to go back to space. There is a little bit of the Ark left up there. We realized that we needed to send a signal to that piece to basically turn it back on. So, I went to go align the dishes that would send the signal. By the time I got them aligned, I wouldn't make it back to the rocket. I told them to go without me. They did. I saw the Death Wave coming for me and at first I welcomed it. I figured I could atone for the lives I took, but then my survival instinct kicked in and ran back to lab to stay in it for the forty-two days. My friends thought I died, and I could only hope that they made to the Ring, the piece that was left, alive and well. After I dug my way out, I went searching for life. I eventually found the Rover. I drove to Polis. The Tower collapsed on top of the bunker. I would have to help them dig their way back out. But, I was only one person. Frustrated, I left for Arkadia. There was nothing for me there. So, I went South, again, just looking for life. And, after some bad thoughts, lots of sand and sun, I finally found the valley of Eden."
"And, Madi was there?" Ash probed.
"Yes, she is always there...alone...and thinking that it is all her fault because her parents didn't surrender her to the Flame Keepers."
"So, instead of going to get this child, you want to check out Polis and Arkadia first?" Ash questioned.
"I need to see it," Clarke answered.
"Then, we will go. We will not stay long. We will go to Eden and find your foundling, Clarke, but Keyron knows that she needs you, too."
