Chapter 17

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Harry collapsed onto the seat of the Hogwarts express, relaxing fully for the first time since leaving school two weeks before. He'd enjoyed the holiday with Hermione's parents and meeting Hermione's grandparents, even Mabel had grown on him as she relaxed a little and got to know him better. But even though he'd enjoyed his time away from school and Emma had been nothing but welcoming after the first day, even with her he still felt like he was under scrutiny the whole time and about to be found wanting. He could tell that Daniel disapproved of his relationship with Hermione though he wasn't sure if it was just their age or if he really thought Harry wasn't good enough somehow.

"Mum said you're welcome to spend some time with us over the summer," Hermione told him.

"And your dad?" Harry asked sceptically.

"He heard Mum say it and didn't disagree," Hermione replied. "I think that's about as much as I had hoped for at this stage."

Harry nodded, it was more than he had expected but summer was months away, he'd worry about it at the end of the year. He suddenly remembered that he wouldn't have an attack by Voldemort to face in June this year and wondered pessimistically if the death eaters, the ministry or someone else would have a go at him instead. The school was overdue to turn on him again.

They were soon joined by Neville, "Hi Harry, hi Hermione. Did you have a good Christmas?" he asked.

"Eventually, Hermione said. Telling my parents that I was married didn't go down very well," Hermione said.

"It was nerve racking meeting Hermione's parents properly. Her mum is really nice but I don't think her dad was very impressed with me," Harry replied.

"Gosh I'm glad it was you then, he would have despised me," Neville replied.

"Nonsense Neville, there's nothing wrong with you," Hermione said sternly.

"I don't think it would've mattered who it was. Nobody would be good enough for his little girl," Harry said. "He was bloody furious about the marriage law. I thought I'd be getting straight onto the knight bus from Kings Cross for a while there."

"Yeah but at least he changed his mind," Dean said encouragingly, having arrived during the conversation.

"Only after Hermione threatened to come with me," Harry said.

"It wasn't a threat. Nobody stayed at school this year. I don't even think any of the professors stayed. I wasn't leaving you alone for Christmas," Hermione said matter-of-factly.

"Anyway, how was your Christmas?" Harry asked.

"It was fine, same as always. Well not really, Gran's trying to arrange a match for me to get married to someone she approves of before the ministry sends me a match in August," Neville said red faced.

Harry grinned. "Anyone you like?" he asked.

"I'd never met most of them," Neville groaned. "They came over with their mothers and grandmothers and we sat and politely drank tea. How am I supposed to know if I like them if I can't even speak freely?"

"What about you Dean? Did you like Leanne's family?" Hermione asked.

"They seem nice enough, though it was a bit awkward, better than your dad was to Harry because they knew what we'd been facing if we hadn't got married. They were grateful that she escaped a ministry match. Their house is so quiet, it's eerie. We stayed the hols with them and only spent one night with Mum and Da, they don't really have the room for us," Dean replied.

"And you Seamus, how were the Patil's?" Harry asked.

"A bloody nightmare!" Seamus replied dramatically.

"I thought Padma told us that her parents were pleased that she and Parvati had managed to escape their ministry matches," Harry replied.

"Aye they were okay about it, it were me own Mam that weren't, she wanted me to marry her best friend's daughter, a good Irish girl. They had the whole wedding planned for the day after I arrived home and when I told her I was already married she hit the roof. I don't know if she was madder at me for not trusting her to sort it, ruining her plans, embarrassing her friends and their daughter or that Parvati isn't Irish. She and my Da fought all Christmas about it," Seamus replied his increased accent revealing how upset he truly was about it all. "Then when I got to Parvati's, her father gave me the third degree and told me I needed to work harder and get better marks at school if I wanted to be able to look after his daughter properly, and I was being compared to Terry Bloody Boot all the time. Sometimes I think even Parvati would've preferred to be bonded to him."

"That's not true! Parvati likes you, she just wants you to treat her more like Terry treats Padma, which is a little unfair since they've been dating for years. Just try to treat her more like a girlfriend and less like an unwanted wife and you'll be fine," Hermione declared.

Neville, the only one temporarily free from encumbrances, laughed. The others nodded like this was useful advice.

"If we're all together, where's Ron?" Seamus asked.

"Probably sitting with Ginny, he wouldn't come in here with Harry and Hermione," Dean replied.

"He still holding a grudge?" Seamus asked sympathetically. "He's usually calmed down before this."

"I don't know, we didn't hear from any of the Weasleys over the holiday," Harry said cheerfully. "I think usually he has his parents and his siblings telling him what an idiot he is and to get over it, this time Ginny and Mrs Weasley's are just as mad as Ron, so he'll probably be all fired up about it again."

Neville shuddered. "You're lucky you don't have to share a room with him."

"What's wrong? He isn't mad at you," Harry asked.

"He was angry at the whole world. Every time he saw your old bed he tried to set it on fire," Neville replied.

"Set it on fire with his glaring or literally cast flame spells at it?" Harry asked curiously.

"Both," Neville replied. "I really miss you all."

"To be honest mate I miss you guys too, if Ron had gotten over himself I was going to suggest we have a guys' night one Friday, Parvati, Lavender and Hermione can have a girls' night. Parvati will love it," Seamus said.

"That's a great idea," Dean said smiling. "We should do that. We could ask the room of requirement to give us a dorm room if Ron's still being a pest."

-o0o-

"Will you join Parvati and Lavender?" Harry asked.

"I'll go for a while, they'd be offended if I didn't. This guys' and girls' night thing has taken off I think the seventh years are doing it too, and the Ravenclaws. Are you boys using the dorm?" Hermione replied.

"We're going to start in the dorm but we've got permission from McGonagall to leave and use an empty classroom for our get together if Ron throws a fit about it," Harry replied.

"Have fun Harry," Hermione said hugging him.

"You too, send Hedwig with a note if you want me to come home," Harry replied.

"I'll be fine Harry, I might duck out early if the night degenerates to gossip and makeovers but they aren't likely to hurt me," Hermione replied. "Promise you won't let Ron get to you?"

"I promise, he's been quieter since Christmas, I expected him to be worse," Harry said.

"Katie told me that Alicia and the twins told everyone the truth and lit into him, Molly and Ginny for their attitude to our marriage," Hermione said.

"Ginny's still acting like I broke her heart, she barely looks at me without tears in her eyes," Harry snorted.

"She isn't angry anymore though," Hermione said. "I think she really believed her silly daydreams and she thought that she could refuse the bond back in November and you'd still be around waiting to marry her the summer after graduation."

Harry smiled. "In a better world she could have had it all. We all could have had normal teenage relationships and finished school before we had to save the world or make adult decisions about our futures, though I don't know if I would have married her in that case," he said. "A part of me is glad that at least some people got to keep that innocence. Especially since it all worked out for the best. I really couldn't imagine being married to Ginny."

"And I shudder at the thought of being married to Ron's temper and sulks," Hermione replied.

-o0o-

"Let's get the party started," Seamus said enthusiastically as he led the way up the stairs to their old dorm room.

Dean cheered. Harry helped carry up the crate of butterbeer and the bag of sweets he'd asked Dobby to fetch him from Hogsmeade for the occasion.

Neville took one look at his laden arms and whispered, "Are you trying to bribe him with food?"

"Whatever works. I can't say our friendship will totally recover but it'd be good to be mates again if it's possible, or at least not to have him glaring at us all the time," Harry replied softly.

"I don't know what he's so upset about anyway, surely he can see that being married is no picnic," Seamus said.

"There are definite compensations though," Dean said smirking and winking.

"Definitely, so long as I haven't been relegated to the couch again for saying or doing the wrong thing," Seamus said.

"What about you Harry? Enjoying the compensations of married life?" Dean asked.

"Well I'm not sleeping on the couch, and my marks have improved," Harry replied, refusing to give them any details.

Seamus laughed at that. "Yeah, no fun for little Harry until his homework's finished," he teased.

"Hey! Not so little," Harry protested automatically.

"Seriously though, she makes you do your homework?" Dean asked.

"She doesn't nag me to do it any more than she always has, but she gets disappointed when I don't do my best and I hate disappointing Hermione," Harry replied blushing a little.

"You always did, you hated it when we fought and you couldn't take her side," Ron said unexpectedly.

"I hated it when the three of us fought, always," Harry retorted. "I just usually took Hermione's side because she was the one making sense and being fair about things."

"And I was the one going off in a strop and holding a grudge," Ron agreed. "I'm sorry Harry, I hope we can be friends again."

"Yes, I'd like that. But I warn you I will be taking Hermione's side in your next argument. She means a lot to me and I really want our marriage to work."

"Better you than me being married to the homework police. Have you thought about what it's going to be like with NEWTs next year? She was impossible over OWLs," Ron said.

"She isn't that bad," Harry protested.

"Yes she was, Harry," Dean said.

"Enough talking about the missus, it's guys' night. Our one night we don't have to think about them or second guess what we're doing or saying to make our wives happy. Let's party!" Seamus said pulling out a bottle of Firewhiskey.

"Gee Seamus, where'd you get that?" Neville stuttered.

"Smuggled it back in my trunk after Christmas," Seamus said proudly.

"I think I'll stick to butterbeer," Harry said.

"Wimp," Ron said holding his cup out for Seamus to fill.

"The whole idea of a guys' night is to get away from our wives' expectations," Dean said also passing over his cup.

"Sure, but we have quidditch training at seven o'clock and it won't be any fun with a hangover," Harry pointed out to his team mates. "Don't expect Katie to go easy on us just because we've been drinking and partying. Oliver never did, and I for one don't want to get on her bad side."

"I'm surprised Hermione hasn't wanted you to give up Quidditch since she thinks it's such a waste of time," Neville commented.

"She wouldn't dare!" Ron yelled.

"She would if I don't keep my grades up. As she says, I'm at school to learn not to play," Harry said mildly.

"That's how she's getting you to study. Blackmail," Dean laughed.

"No she's right, less than one student per year gets picked up by a professional team and about half of those barely make it out of the reserves. Add to the fact there are only two players in their thirties still playing and even if I did want to play professionally I need to graduate with good enough grades for another career if I don't make it or after I finish playing," Harry said.

"Footballer's get paid enough to retire when they finish playing," Dean said.

"The very best of them do, but the muggle world is so much bigger, the teams make more money and therefore can pay their players more and then there's all the advertising and sponsorship money. But think about it Manchester United alone probably has more supporters than there are witches or wizards in England, and still a lot of the run of the mill players don't play long enough to set themselves up for life," Harry said.

"More supporters than there are wizards? That's not possible," Ron scoffed.

"West Ham has 700,000 fans, Manchester united would have six or seven times that at least," Dean replied. "Harry has a point that Quidditch players couldn't make as much money as a top football player. It would be sensible to have a backup plan."

"I can't see Harry wanting to be a quidditch star. He hates the attention he gets already, why would he want a job that gives him more?" Neville added.

"Because it's Quidditch!" Ron said as if they were being stupid doubting it.

"Neville's right!" Harry exclaimed, glad at least one of his mates got it. "So, if I'm not going to play quidditch for the rest of my life I need the marks to get a decent job. Something more interesting than working in a shop or something. But quidditch is a lot of fun and if it isn't affecting my studies there's no reason not to play, other than sadistic captains dragging me out of bed at the crack of dawn on the weekend."

Neville, the only one who had never tried out for the team just laughed at him.

"Are you enjoying your last months of bachelorhood?" Seamus slurred. "You should, pretty soon you'll have a wife to nag you as well."

"I wouldn't put up with being nagged by my wife," Ron said.

"And you thought you wanted to marry Hermione?" Dean asked in disbelief. "Hermione who can even nag the professors, and heaven knows what poor Harry puts up with."

"She's not that bad," Harry protested.

"She's been nagging all of us about homework and studying since the first week or first year," Seamus said laughing.

"And curfew, school rules, table manners, eating habits, food choices and cleaning our teeth thoroughly," Dean added.

And respecting the professors and the mess in our dorm every time she comes in, not to mention her house elf rights campaign," Neville contributed.

"She's a nightmare," Ron agreed with the others. "You're right, I had a lucky escape."

"Hermione cares about trying to get us all to be the best we can be. She might not know the best way to achieve that but she always means well and she does it because she cares about us," Harry said sternly.

"We know her heart's in the right place Harry but even you can't say you enjoy her nagging," Dean said placatingly.

Harry realised that anything that helped Ron accept his and Hermione's marriage was a good thing and stopped himself from protesting further though he thought they were being unfair to Hermione. He took a swig from his butterbeer and wondered if Hermione was having more fun than he was, and when hanging out with his dorm mates stopped being easy. Probably about the same time he and Ron fought.

-o0o-

Hermione on her part was being pressed by Lavender and Parvati about Harry's performance in the bedroom.

"That's none of your business!" Hermione declared blushing and highly offended.

"What you don't think he's telling his dorm mates all about your sex life?" Lavender asked. "all boys brag to each other, it's just human nature."

"He wouldn't," Hermione gasped.

"Believe me Hermione he'll deny it if you ask him, but he would," Parvati said, slightly more sympathetically.

"Harry isn't like that," Hermione protested.

"All boys are like that," Lavender said scathingly.

Hermione knew that Harry wouldn't be bragging about their non-existent sex life, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't discuss the problem with his friends. But no, he wouldn't talk about it, not with Ron and Neville there.

"Well I don't believe you and even if I'm wrong I'm not like that, so you'll have to wait and ask Seamus," Hermione declared furiously packing up her things and getting ready to return to her own room.

"Don't go, we won't ask again," Parvati said regretfully.

Hermione sat back down and the other two turned their discussion to rumours of how their classmates marriages were going, interspersed with the latest fashions in clothes and hairstyles. She even let Lavender have a go at doing her hair and had to admit she quite liked the result, even if she didn't think she had the patience to spend that much time doing her hair.

-o0o-

"I spoke to Mum about how it hurt so much to have sex. She said that it might not be something wrong with me but she'll take me to a doctor if it's still a problem over the summer," Hermione said hesitantly.

"You told your mum?" Harry asked shocked.

"She asked," Hermione said defensively. "Would you rather I ask Parvati and Lavender for advice?"

"I'm not complaining though I have to admit I'm glad I didn't know about that while we were there. I was just surprised," Harry said. "Did she help?"

"She suggested that the problem was that I was too anxious and tense because it was too much about trying to form a bond and not about wanting to have sex," Hermione said.

"So you want to try again?" Harry said hopefully.

"If you want to. Most of the pain relief spell would decrease the sensation but I found a spell to relax my muscles so it might help I can't cast it on myself though," Hermione said.

Harry took the book and read through the spell. "This is the spell Madam Pomfrey cast on me after the third task. It's for extreme muscle pain and spasms. It made me all floppy, I couldn't do anything," Harry said not wanting to admit to Hermione that it also made him wet himself and he thought Madam Pomfrey had also had to do a spell to stop him shitting himself as well. That would be a real turn off if they were trying to have sex. He didn't want to be pissed on.

"That might make things a little difficult," Hermione admitted.

"We can't use this spell Hermione, Madam Pomfrey said that I must not try to cast it on myself or my friends because there's a risk that it will overrelax your chest muscles and you won't be able to breathe properly," Harry said worried.

"I don't know what to do then?" Hermione said anxiously. "I want to have a successful relationship in that way too but how can we if it hurts so much."

"I've been reading a bit too. I bought a book back when I snuck out to buy condoms for everybody else. There are things we could do that wouldn't hurt you and would still feel good and if you're used to the other things feeling good then maybe by the time we have to try to have a baby you'll be able to relax without a spell," Harry said.

"What sort of book?" Hermione asked.

"A sort of beginners manual," Harry admitted. He pulled out the book and handed it over. "There were other books but from the short time I had to look they seemed to be for people that had gotten the basics and were looking for something different."

Hermione nodded her understanding, she'd seen books like that too but had never dared to buy them, much less this 'sex for Dummies' it must have been so embarrassing to admit to wanting or needing a book like that.

"Umm... I'll leave you to read," Harry stammered almost running out of their private living room. Hermione barely noticed him go caught up in reading about self exploration and pleasuring.

-o0o-

"I'm ready," Hermione said.

"Ready for what?" Harry asked confused. Looking up he saw she was wearing her school robes and clasping her hands together tightly like she did when she was anxious.

"Ready to try to have sex," Hermione said nervously.

"Really Hermione?" Harry questioned. "Why now all of a sudden? Have you been reading the book I loaned you?"

"Yes, I read it," Hermione said impatiently. "Now do you want to or not?"

"Actually, with that attitude I'd think that you'd rather I said no," Harry replied.

"I would not! What makes you say that?" Hermione demanded.

"You have the same expression that Ron does when he's about to do his potions' homework," Harry said honestly.

Hermione laughed unexpectedly. "I really do want to try, I'm just still worried how it will go," she admitted.

"You need to stop thinking about this as an exam you need to pass, it's supposed to be fun and if it isn't going to be enjoyable then there's no point doing it until we need to have a baby," Harry said frustrated. "Lets just fool around and have some fun and not worry about the purpose."

"Okay," Hermione said straddling his lap and kissing him.

He kissed back and started to become aroused. Hermione squirmed against him and he groaned. He was really getting into it when he looked at Hermione's expression and saw that she was bracing herself not to show him pain if it hurt.

"I don't think you understand. You're already tensing up to hide the pain. We're not going to have sex today. Just a bit of kissing and stuff, nothing that could hurt," He said gently.

Then what are you going to do?" Hermione asked.

"We're going to get naked and I'm going to make you come. Show you that being with me can feel great," Harry said.

"Confident, aren't you?" Hermione asked smirking at him.

"We have the attraction thing down, kissing you is way too hot for the rest not to be good too if we let it," Harry replied kissing her passionately.

"Hmm" Hermione agreed wordlessly.

Harry took that as permission to start unbuttoning her robes.

Of course, living in an ancient Scottish castle in winter meant layers of clothing, even a magical castle, and they quickly realized that it would be more effective to undress themselves. Finally, they were naked in the same room for the first time since their bonding and it was every bit as awkward as it had been then.

"You're beautiful," Harry said reverently.

Hermione blushed even brighter, "No I'm not, but you are."

Harry smiled slightly, then shivered. "Do you want to move closer to the fire or under the covers?" he asked.

"Umm under the covers," Hermione said, practically diving into the bed.

Harry followed more slowly and pulled her close rolling onto his back so she was on top of him. He cast a warming spell on the sheets before putting his wand on the bedside table.

Running his hands down Hermione's back as he kissed her he hesitated before moving them lower to fondle her bum. "Is this okay?" he asked.

"Yes, it's fine," she said smiling between kisses, his hands were gentle and warm and felt good touching her, she could feel his erection pressing against her thigh but since he wasn't doing anything about it at the moment she chose not to worry about it for now.

Harry released her lips kissing along her jaw line lightly and down her neck to suck on her collarbones making Hermione moan, then rolled them over and moved down to kiss the upper sides of her breasts, sitting up straddling her to take her nipple into his mouth.

Hermione arched her back, clearly enjoying the feeling of her breasts being kissed and suckled and that put the head of Harry's erection against her clit. Harry started to draw back worried that that would be a step too far for Hermione but the movement of it against her made her moan and start to breathe heavily as she rocked against him, grabbing his hips to hold him in place.

Harry groaned and couldn't help thrusting against her, it felt so good.

Hermione hesitated and he saw wariness on her fact and immediately drew back. "It's okay Hermione, we can stop if you like. I didn't mean to take things this far today," Harry stammered.

"It's okay, you can keep going. You weren't hurting me. It felt nice actually, very nice," Hermione said blushing.

Harry realised she was probably in the same boat he was, desperately aroused and feeling jittery at having been so close to orgasm and then suddenly stopping all stimulation. Part of him wanted to run into the shower and relieve the tension but he couldn't leave Hermione looking so vulnerable.

"You want to have sex," Hermione said looking at how hard he was.

"I can take care of it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to," Harry replied. "Or we could go back to what we were doing, if you don't mind me making a mess all over you."

"We could have sex. It's okay Harry. I can do it," Hermione said firmly but Harry could still see fear underneath her determination.

"No, we'll stop as soon as you start to feel uncomfortable, we have two years to get there and I don't think that forcing yourself is going to help. There's no reason to rush this," Harry said.

"But don't you want to have sex, didn't you enjoy it?" Hermione asked.

"I enjoyed it immensely at the time, being with you like that felt fantastic but it isn't worth hurting you," Harry admitted.

"But I want to try," Hermione said desperately.

"Hermione you can barely say the words without tensing up. Trying now and failing will only make it harder to relax and succeed next time, you're not ready," Harry said practically. "Let's just have some fun fooling around and let me make you feel good. Then if you want you can make me come with your hands or your mouth, there's no need to hurt yourself."

He leaned down and started kissing her again, careful to keep his erection from thrusting against her this time and slowly kissed his way down her body to her core.

"Now keep in mind that I haven't done anything like this before so if you don't like something or you want me to keep doing something or move higher or lower or softer, harder slower or faster please tell me," he begged.

He used his hands to open Hermione's thighs and got his first up close look at the treasure between them, trying to orient where he needed to find her pleasure points from the diagram in the book.

Hermione squirmed in embarrassment as he just looked at her. She reminded herself that he was just learning what girls looked like, not judging her. Harry moved one hand to explore with his fingers, carefully watching her reactions til he found the place that made her moan and pant, then leaned down and kissed it and began to suck gently before lapping it with his tongue, enjoying the taste.

Hermione came shuddering and shouting his name, and Harry lifted himself to hold her through the aftershocks.

"Wow" Hermione breathed and Harry grinned.

"You enjoyed yourself?" he asked, sure of the answer.

"Prat," Hermione said blushing.

Harry just laughed and moved a little so his erection wasn't pressing against her body.

Hermione finally noticed his predicament. "Oh! You must think I'm selfish. Do you want me to…" she stammered.

"Please," Harry almost groaned.

Hermione wrapped her hand around him, before sitting up so she could have a better view of what she was doing. She gave a couple of experimental pumps making Harry's hips jerk and he began thrusting into her hand erratically, leaking pre-come. Hermione bent down and licked the head of his penis and he lost it, coming all over her face.

"Oh Merlin, I'm sorry Hermione," he said embarrassed, covering his face with his arm.

"Um, I'll just go and clean up," Hermione said rushing from the bed.

Harry turned and buried his face in the pillow hoping he hadn't just ruined everything.

A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed followed or favourited this story for your support.