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Come Together
Pony told Darry everything.
Well…almost everything. He skipped over the part where Dally had pointed a gun at him. He didn't figure that information would do anyone any good.
But he told Darry about the first time he'd repeated the day, when he hadn't understood what was happening and how he'd done almost everything the same. He told him about sneaking out to read to Johnny, and sneaking out to save Dally. He told him about getting shot and about the rumbles he'd gone to and the ones he'd skipped…how they won every time, with or without him. He told him about laying in bed and giving up, and about the day Darry had stayed home with him. He told him about Sodapop asking if he was on drugs, and about telling their brother the truth. He told them what the two of them had done to try and change things, and that Soda hadn't remembered the day after even though he'd promised, and how it had led to Darry finding him on a sofa with a gun pressed to his temple.
Darry sat up straight when he got to that part. "What were you gonna do today?" Darry asked him all of a sudden. Pony didn't mind the interruption. He was almost done anyway.
"Huh?"
"If you hadn't told me…if I'd gone to work, what were you going to do?"
"Well, the gun didn't get me out of this," Pony told him, figuring telling the truth couldn't make things any worse. "So I was going to wait until you guys left and take all the aspirin and your muscle relaxers and see if that worked. Can you overdose on Aspirin?" he wondered, knowing his voice was too calm for this conversation. Darry stared down at him, incredulous, but Pony hurried to go on. "I ain't gonna to do it now."
"You ain't gonna do it ever," Darry commanded, sounding mad, but Pony knew he was just scared. "You hear me?"
"So you can OD on Aspirin?"
"You can OD on just about anything, Ponyboy. But you aren't going to."
"It don't matter," Pony reminded him. "If I do, it's like it never happened anyway. And if you aren't there, you won't even know about it."
"I don't care. It matters to me." Darry put his hands on Pony's shoulders, leaning in. "I don't know if we can fix this today, but if we can't, I want you to tell me again, you understand? Every day. Tell me to stay home from work and you talk to me until I believe you and we can try and figure this out again."
"You won't believe me if you don't have the nightmare, Darry," he all but whispered, shaking his head, but Darry kept a hold of him.
"Ponyboy, if you need me to, I will believe you, you hear me? Always."
"It sounds insane."
"That don't matter." He looked so sure…and so scared. And Ponyboy didn't know if it was true…he honestly didn't know if his brother would believe him if he didn't have any kind of proof. But he didn't want Darry to be upset so he just nodded.
"Okay. I will." Promises didn't matter, but, Pony realized, this one just might.
Darry seemed satisfied, and he sat back again, thinking. He was quiet for a long time, probably going over everything Pony had told him, so he closed his eyes and leaned against his brother's side, remembering that night in the hospital that had been yesterday and also over two weeks ago now. He remembered how listening to his brother's heartbeat, his arms wrapped around him, had felt like home. He'd been so alone for two weeks now…and waking up after the day he'd told Soda only to find out his brother had forgotten had just about broken him.
No…not just about.
He didn't know how he'd cope when Darry forgot…when this feeling like he was safe and like his big brother was going to take care of him was gone. Darry looped an arm around his shoulders, absently rubbing his back like Soda did sometimes when he'd had a nightmare and couldn't relax enough to get back to sleep, and Pony tried not to think about how this would end…tried to push down the pain that threatened to rip him apart at just the thought of waking up that same morning with neither of his brothers knowing what was going on.
He could always swipe some pills from the store. Darry would never know.
"Okay. How about this? We'll go see Johnny."
Dary's words pulled him out of his dark thoughts and he blinked a few times, trying to push that thought down too lest his brother read it in his eyes. "I've seen him lots of times…almost every day. Two-Bit too. Soda came with me that once…it never changes anything."
"I don't mean just you. I mean all of us."
"All of us?"
"Yeah. All of us." He nodded to himself like he'd made his decision, then got up and went over to sit in the recliner. Pony watched in puzzled silence as he picked up the phone and dialed, then waited for a moment as it rang. Then, when they picked up, he spoke. "Hey, Tim? It's Darry."
Pony couldn't hear Tim's reply…was too tired to get off the sofa and get any close to try and eavesdrop. Still, he couldn't help his curiosity. He hadn't tried getting everyone to go see Johnny…just Dallas. And Dally never would come before the very end. But would he maybe listen to Darry?
"Look man…I just got some news about Johnny. It ain't good." A pause made up of grim silence. "Probably not." Another pause. "We ain't gonna rumble tonight. Not with Johnny as bad off as he is. Tell those socs we'll see them next week. Alright?"
And, after another pause where Pony had to assume that Tim agreed, he put the phone down on the cradle. And just like that, the rumble had been postponed. Pony hadn't even know he could do that…had never heard of a rumble being postponed. "But…what if the socs still want to fight tonight?" he asked.
Darry gave him a half smile, pulling himself upright with a wince that told Pony his back was hurting him. "Well, if any of this turns out to be real, we'll deal with that when we have to." And, ruffling Ponyboy's hair as he passed, he headed to his bedroom. "Let me get dressed and we'll go see Johnny."
And, Pony figured they might as well give it a shot.
Darry drove them to the hospital in the truck, and on the way, Pony told him about how it was supposed to go…how he'd ask for Gone with the Wind and how his mother would show up and ruin things. "When Soda went with me, I told the doctor about his mom…how awful she was, and he agreed not to let her see him, and he told the nurse not to tell Johnny she was there…that might work again."
Darry nodded, thoughtful. "What about Dally? Will he come see him?"
Pony shook his head. "I tried a few times. He never would. I even started a fight with him once…called him a coward." He dropped his eyes, embarrassed. "That's when he gave me a concussion."
Darry swore under his breath, shaking his head, and Pony knew he was having to fight to keep from going after Dally for that, even if it wasn't even real anymore.
They went to the corner store once Darry had parked, and Darry bought the book and a Pepsi for Ponyboy that he drank all of before he'd even gotten to the hospital, dropping it into a trash can outside. That helped his headache some. Then it was right to the front desk where the nurse told them that Johnny already had a friend visiting, and that they could see him as long as they didn't excite him or keep him from resting.
On their way, they met Two-Bit in the hallway who stopped short in surprise, then tried to smile, his eyes too-bright and red-rimmed. "Hey…I was just about to run over to the corner store. Johnny wants a copy of…" Once more, Two-Bit trailed off when Ponyboy held up the book, eyes going wide as he grinned. "Shoot kid, you must be a mind reader or something."
"Or something," Pony agreed again with a strained smile, handing the book over.
Before they could follow him down the hall, Ponyboy spotted the doctor and grabbed Darry's sleeve, jerking his head toward the man in the white coat.
"Go ahead and see Johnny. I'll talk to him."
So he did.
Johnny tried to smile at Ponyboy and once more, Pony tried not to break down at the sight of his best friend on his deathbed. "Hey, Johnny."
How many times had he watched his best friend die now?
How many more times would he have to do it?
"Darry came with me," he told him, sitting in a chair by his bed. "He stayed home from work today...he'll be here in a second."
"Yeah? Things okay?" Johnny rasped, voice as weak as ever. Pony tried not to notice.
"Yeah. Things are good."
"Good." Johnny tried to smile, but it looked more pained than happy.
Pony wanted to tell him more…hell, he wanted to tell him everything. But Two-Bit was sitting there looking like he was trying his best to hold himself together and Pony figured they wouldn't believe him anyway. Maybe if he killed himself in front of Two-Bit…he shuddered at the thought. He'd promised Darry he wasn't going to do that again, and he'd keep that promise for as long as he could.
Darry came into the room not too much later, pausing in the doorway like he was steeling himself, then walking up to the bed and grabbing a chair. "Hey, Johnnycakes. How you doing?"
"I'm alright," he managed to lie, giving Darry a better smile than he'd given Ponyboy. Johnny always had looked up to Darry…never wanted to cross him or make him upset or nothing. Ponyboy got that. He'd felt the same way for most of his life.
"You hear they wrote about you two in the newspapers? You're a hero, Johnny."
"I'm a…greaser," Johnny told him, trying to joke, but Darry shook his head, reaching out and brushing his hair back, leaving his hand on Johnny's head for a moment.
"You saved those kids. You and Ponyboy and Dally. You did good, kiddo. Real good. Made all of us proud."
"He's right, Johnny. When you get to feeling better, we'll have a big party for you three. Sodapop can make a cake and everything," Two put in.
Ponyboy dropped his eyes. Johnny wouldn't get a party for being a hero…he wouldn't even live past midnight.
"Pony told me you two were reading that book while you were hiding out at the church, so we grabbed a copy on our way over here. You want to read a little bit of it now? I'll bet you two can finish it today."
Johnny looked over at Pony, moving as little as possible. "You want to?" he asked, sounding pained and hopeful.
Nodding, Pony grabbed the book. "Sure."
And so he read. It was getting old, but he didn't mind much. It really was a good book and besides, every time he read it, Johnny relaxed, looking like he was actually getting some rest instead of just laying there in awful pain. Two-Bit and Darry were both quiet while he read, but this time, Darry put a hand on his shoulder right when he got to the second to last chapter. When Pony glanced up, Johnny was asleep, breathing evenly like he was okay…like he wasn't dying.
"We'll save the rest for later, alright?" he asked quietly, and Pony nodded, folding the corner of the page down and putting it on Johnny's bedside table once more.
Darry jerked his head toward the door and Pony and Two-Bit both followed as quiet as they could, watching Darry close the door softly behind him. The doctor who'd been there every day was standing at a desk by the nurse, and his brother went over to him, still talking quiet. "Doctor? We're gonna go get something to eat. We're gonna come back this afternoon. Is that alright?"
The doctor nodded, looking solemn. "Of course." He glanced down at Pony, eyes softening a little, and Pony figured he must look sick. "Are you alright, son?"
"Yes sir, I'm fine," he lied. Well…he only kind of lied. Technically, he was fine. Physically, anyway. He still had a few hours before he passed out, anyway.
His brother and the doctor shared a look that Pony didn't bother trying to interpret, then Darry wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "We'll be back soon. Thank you again," he told him, leading Pony and Two-Bit towards the front doors. But before they could reach them, they practically ran into Johnny's mother who had apparently been arguing with a nurse on the other side of the room and who was stomping towards them.
"Oh, you let those no good juvenile delinquents in, but you won't let his own mother see him?" she snapped, turning to glare right at Pony. "You! It was your fault! Always running around in the middle of the night, getting jailed and who knows what else!" she snapped, pointing a finger right at him, but before she could take another step towards them, Darry moved forward to stand between them, eyes blazing.
"Hey! You don't talk to my little brother, you hear me? It ain't his fault you and your husband beat your own son! And it ain't his fault Johnny can't even sleep in his own house half the time!"
She clutched a hand to her chest in a show of outrage, but she must only be comfortable hitting kids because she didn't so much as act like she was going to slap Darry. Two-Bit glared at her, a hand squeezing Ponyboy's shoulder.
"You ought to be ashamed…nobody deserves someone like you as a mother, least of all Johnny."
Pony thought he might keep yelling, but Darry left it at that, jerking his head for Pony and Two-Bit to follow him out of the hospital, Two's hand resting on his shoulder like he was guiding him or holding him up one…maybe both. Still, Pony appreciated it. When they stepped out into the fresh air, Darry took up his position at Ponyboy's side once more, wrapping an arm around him and leading him to the truck.
"You coming to get lunch with us?" Darry asked.
"Yeah. Think I could get a ride back later?"
"Sure. You take the bus all the way out here?"
"Walked. I'd have driven my car, but the breaks are out," Two told them as they crossed the parking lot.
"About killed him and Cathy last night," Pony murmured to Darry as an aside.
"About killed me and Cathy last night," Two-Bit went on, oblivious, and Darry blinked down at Pony in surprise before shaking his head and chuckling softly to himself.
"Why don't you get Steve to take a look?"
"That greasy hood? Hell, he'll charge me an arm and a leg!"
"Yeah, anyone else would charge you an arm and both legs."
"Unfortunately, I have no arms or legs to give, Superman."
Surprisingly, Darry didn't say anything about him getting a job, instead watching Pony climb into the truck, then got behind the wheel while Two-Bit climbed in beside Pony, the two of them sandwiching him in the middle. Pony didn't care though. He just leaned against Darry's shoulder as he drove to the nearest restaurant which happened to be a Dairy Queen.
"You alright, kid?" Two asked when they parked and Pony didn't even look up, resting a hand on the back of his neck. "You're awful hot. You feeling okay?"
"I'm getting sick," he told him simply, which was true. Every day was just him getting sick. Still, there was something comforting about Two-Bit's consistency.
"Two-Bit, can you run to the corner store and get him some Aspirin?" Darry asked.
"Sure thing…get me a cheeseburger, huh, kid?" he asked with a grin he had to force, ruffling Pony's hair as he jumped out of the truck.
When he was gone, Darry got out of the truck and held out a hand to help Pony climb down. "You sick?"
"I'm always sick," Pony told him tiredly. "Every day." Honestly, he couldn't remember a day when he wasn't sick.
"Think you can hold out a while longer?"
"Sure. I'm not scheduled to pass out for hours as long as no one kicks me in the head."
Darry shook his head and sighed, but didn't make any kind of comment.
They sat down to eat, ordering Two-Bit a burger as requested, and Darry even got all of them a milkshake along with the Pepsis, grinning when Pony stared at him in surprise. "What? This ain't real, right? So I can spend as much money as I want."
Pony had to laugh a little. "Now you've got it. Might as well buy Soda that tuff Mustang he wants while you're at it."
Darry chuckled. "I believe you, Pony, but I ain't about to push it."
The food showed up after a minute and Darry dug in, Ponyboy forcing himself to take a bite and knowing it would make him feel better, even if he'd rather sleep than eat at the moment. Darry was keeping a close eye on him, so he took another bite. "You know, it's always the same doctor," Pony told him. "He always tells the nurse to let us in when she doesn't want to, and he asked if I was okay after Johnny's mom hit me."
"Wait…when did that happen?"
"I don't know. One of the first couple of days." Pony waved that off. "I was scared she'd hit you too."
"I think I could take her, kiddo."
Pony shook his head. "You wouldn't though. You'd never hit a woman."
Darry softened, smiling a little at his milkshake before taking a drink and Pony went on.
"He was worried about me when I finished reading the book to Johnny too. And he was the one that listened when I asked him not to let Johnny's mom in."
"He seems like a good guy. Hopefully he won't mind when everybody else stops by."
That seemed to be Darry's plan. Pony didn't know if it was because he thought it might change something or because he wanted Johnny to have people with him when he died, but either way, Pony figured it couldn't hurt to try. Johnny was a hero…Darry had been right about that. He deserved to have his family with him before he died.
Two-Bit showed up then, dropping into the booth beside him and putting the bottle of Aspirin by his plate before practically inhaling his cheeseburger. Pony swallowed a couple of pills with his milkshake, grinning when their friend started telling them all his jokes about Cathy's brother. Darry listened with an indulgent grin, chuckling every once in a while and shaking his head, and Pony wished his brother could be happy like this more often…that he could spend time with his friends and act like other guys his age.
Maybe if he could get out of this…maybe if they could end this awful shitshow he'd found himself in, he could convince Darry to let him get a job a little sooner….give his brother some money and help out more.
Darry getting up tore him out of those thoughts, and he realized he'd finished most of his food, minus the fries that Two-Bit swiped, and had drank most of his milkshake to make Darry happy. Pony watched his brother go, puzzled, then turned to Two-Bit who explained without being asked. "He's gonna make a call real quick. You feeling any better?"
Pony nodded. He did, actually. The food had helped and he was sure the Aspirin would too. Still, Two-Bit looked worried.
"I don't think you ought to fight tonight, kiddo."
"None of us are gonna fight tonight."
"What do you mean?"
"Darry called Tim this morning. Told him to tell the socs we'd see them next week. He wants us all to go see Johnny tonight instead." He didn't tell his friend that this was because Pony was now the world's shittiest time-traveler, but thankfully Two-Bit didn't ask any questions, just nodded to himself, a finger stroking his sideburn.
"Yeah? Good…Steve and Soda will want to see him too."
He wondered if Two-Bit knew that Johnny was going to die…if he knew and just didn't want to acknowledge it. Pony wasn't about to try and make him either way. Instead, he let his friend steal another fry off his plate.
They went back to the hospital after Darry god back. Pony would have suggested taking something back for him, but he knew his friend wasn't in any shape to be eating, not even a milkshake. He wished they could, though…even more, he wished that this, somehow, was the magic key to getting him out of all this. He'd thought about taking something back for Dally too, but Darry was taking the lead today, and he didn't mention it so Ponyboy didn't either. Instead, they headed back to Johnny's room and took their seats once more.
Johnny slept on and off for most of the day while Darry, Two-Bit and Pony played cards, Two regaling him with stories about the week he'd been gone, most of which he'd heard before, but he didn't mind. That doctor poked his head in sometimes, asking if they were doing okay and checking those machines by Johnny's bed. When Johnny was awake, he always seemed glad to see them, and he even tried to laugh at Two-Bit's stories, obviously doing his best to stay awake as much as he could.
It turned out the call Darry made from the pay phone was to the DX, and Sodapop and Steve showed up after they got off work around 6, walking in and doing their best to smile at Johnny who was looking worse and worse as the day went on. Ponyboy couldn't help doing the math in his head as they talked to him…Steve even read him the article from the paper that he'd brought in, showing him his picture and making a big deal about it and everything. The rumble had started around 7. It hadn't lasted a whole hour. Darry had driven him to the hospital in less than an hour. Johnny died before nine pm.
"Dar?" Pony whispered as Steve talked, getting his brother's attention. He didn't know why exactly Darry looked worried at that particular moment, although there were plenty of things to choose from. Pony knew he wasn't looking too good…despite the Aspirin, he was already feeling bad again. Johnny was having trouble keeping his eyes open as Soda and Steve told him about a real tuff car they'd worked on over the last week, with Two-Bit chiming in that they ought to hotwire it and take it for a ride. And even though Darry believed him, he had to be nervous. Because if somehow, Ponyboy was wrong, then Darry would have to deal with that too.
If Ponyboy was wrong, that meant there was something seriously wrong with him.
At this point, he thought he might just be okay with that, given no other option.
"Yeah?"
"He's only got about two hours left."
Darry looked around the room, seeming deep in thought as he pressed his lips together, then stood. "I'll be right back," he told him quietly enough that the guys didn't hear, then slipped out.
And then, almost twenty minutes later, miraculously, he returned with Dallas Winston in tow.
Pony had no idea what he'd said to Dally…couldn't even begin to imagine how he'd gotten him to listen. Had he told him that the rumble was off? That they wouldn't be fighting for another week? Had he told him that the whole gang was downstairs? Or had he just told him the truth…that Johnny didn't have much longer and if he wanted to say goodbye, he needed to do it. Regardless of how Darry had managed it, there he was, dressed in jeans and a tank top, his arm still wrapped up. He paused on his way to Johnny's bedside, stopping right beside Ponyboy, and when he looked up at their buddy, he wondered if Dally had dreamed any of it again…if he'd seen himself point a gun at a fourteen-year-old in a hospital…if he'd seen himself bring that gun down on his head because he had to get away and that same kid wouldn't let him.
"Hey, kid," he all but whispered, giving no clues as to what his dreams had been, his eyes studiously avoiding the hospital bed in the room where Steve and Soda were still talking, neither of them paying any mind. Two-Bit was though, his stormy eyes tracking Dallas through the room.
"Hey, Dal."
"I was afraid I'd killed you, you know?" For a moment, Pony thought he'd actually read his mind or something, but then he went on. "I was just trying to put out that fire, but I was scared I'd aimed too high and broken your neck or something." He considered him for a moment. "I'm glad I didn't."
"Me too," he lied, only he didn't realize it was a lie until he'd said it, and that kind of scared him. Because for a moment, he really had wished that Dally had broken his neck…that he'd died before having to go through any of this. But he'd made a promise to Darry and he wanted to try and keep it, so he tried to push that thought away as Dallas finally went over to sit at Johnny's bedside, taking a chair that Two-Bit vacated in favor of leaning against the wall.
Dallas was quiet for a real long time. He saw the paper that Steve had brought next to the copy of Gone With the Wind, and Pony watched him struggle to grin down at his best friend…at the kid he'd always protected who wasn't actually a kid compared to Dally…they were about the same age, only Johnny had always seemed younger. It was because he wasn't hard and mean, Pony knew…he still tried not to get into any trouble and he still felt it real deep when his parents yelled at him or hit him. He still felt things, and Dally did too, only he did his best not to.
Pony looked between the two of them and realized he'd rather be like Johnny. Of course, Dally had always scared him, and he hadn't even liked him much before all this, but now he just felt sorry for him through a haze of what he knew was a rising fever and a pounding headache. Dally couldn't just let himself feel sad and scared and hurt when his best friend was lying there dying. He had to pretend to be tough even though no one in that room would ever hold it against him if he didn't. Ponyboy had always wanted to be tough like that, but not anymore. Not if it meant he couldn't be sad about his best friend dying.
"Hey, Johnny." It seemed to be all he could say while still keeping that painful grin on his face.
"Hey Dal."
"Guess you heard…you're a hero now." Johnny started to shake his head, but Dally went on. "Wrote about you in the papers and everything. Pretty tuff, man."
Johnny just about glowed then, and Pony wanted to drop his head into his hands and cry. All Johnny had wanted was for Dally to be proud of him, but now he had that and more. Sure, his parents were assholes who'd never see him again, but he had the whole gang here calling him a hero and telling him how good he'd done…how worried they'd been and how glad they were to see him.
Soda and Steve went back to talking about cars and work, Two-Bit putting his two bits in every once in a while, while Dally just sat with him, Pony and Darry off to the side a little. And the clock in the corner kept ticking. They were getting closer and closer…Johnny couldn't hardly stay awake, but he was trying real hard.
"We're gonna whip those socs, you know? Next week…we're going to make them pay for what they did," Dally told him all of a sudden.
Maybe twenty minutes left. It didn't seem possible. Somehow, after so many times of living through this, it still felt like a blow he couldn't take.
Pony wasn't surprised when Johnny shook his head, but everyone else was. "Fighting…it's no good."
That seemed to knock the wind out of Dally's sails for a moment, and Pony watched every one of his friends flinch a little, dropping their eyes. They had to know too…they had to know he was right. But none of them but Dally said anything.
"We ain't gonna let them get away with this. We can't!"
"Hey, Johnny?" Pony asked, surprising everyone by speaking up for the first time, and all of them but Johnny turned to look at him. "We ain't got but two chapters left…you want to finish that book?"
Johnny closed his eyes, like he knew just what was coming. And maybe he did. Still, he nodded, smiling a little. "Yeah, man. Let's finish it."
Ponyboy didn't think Gone With the Wind was a magical book or anything…hell, he was still having trouble with the whole concept of being stuck reliving the same day over and over if he thought too hard about it. That didn't matter, though. Johnny wanted to finish the book, so he would. Scooting his chair a little closer, Pony took the book that Sodapop handed him, meeting Johnny's eyes and trying to smile. They just looked at each other for a minute and Pony wanted to apologize again. To tell him that this really was his fault, even if their friends were too good to blame him. To tell Johnny that he'd been trying to save him…to admit that he'd given up.
In the end, he just started reading.
The guys were all quiet, even though most of them hadn't been there for even part of the book, much less the whole thing, so even if they were interested, which he doubted, they would be totally lost. Still, he didn't think about that. All he thought of was Johnny. If he looked really close at the book and not the hospital floor or the guys around him, he could pretend they were in that church together. He could pretend he still had a chance to fix this…to prevent all of it from going so bad.
And then, inevitably, he reached the end.
He closed his eyes when he got to the last paragraph, ignoring how hot he was and how his head was pounding worse than it had all day. He didn't need to see the words. They were burned into his brain, and he doubted he'd ever be able to forget them. The gang was all quiet as he recited them, and he thought that this, at least, felt right. Johnny wasn't dying alone. He was with his family. His real family. And when he got to the end, Pony spoke the words like a prayer. The book wasn't magic, but he wished the last line could be.
"After all, tomorrow is another day."
Please, he thought as he clutched the book, not caring if the gang saw the tears running down his face, let tomorrow be another day.
Darry must have moved closer at some point because he took the book and wrapped an arm around him, and Pony rested his head against his shoulder as he cried, thinking it over and over, practically yelling in his own head. Let tomorrow be another day. Please. Please let this work. Please!
He opened his eyes for just a second when Johnny spoke, his voice barely audible even from less than three feet away, but Ponyboy knew what he was going to say anyway.
"Thanks, Pone. Stay…gold."
And then he was still, releasing one more breath while Soda and Steve huddled together on one side, leaning in close enough that he could see them. Dally sat on his other side, his hand gripping Johnny's arm like holding hands wasn't tough but holding his arm was somehow forgivable. Behind him, Two-Bit had moved to stand closer, a hand outstretched probably to brush his hair back, now frozen in midair. He'd died, but he'd done it reading a book and surrounded by all the people in the world that loved him.
"Johnny? Hey…don't…don't die, Johnny…come on man!" Dallas cried, and Pony started to close his eyes again, not wanting to see the rest, but Two-Bit surprised him by slinging an arm around Dally's shoulders, squeezing so hard it looked like it hurt. For a long minute, Dally tensed, and Pony thought he just might hit him, or worse, pull out that gun. Darry was still holding him tight, and Soda put a hand over his mouth, a sob escaping as Steve rested a hand on his back, tears pouring down his own face. Darry rubbed a hand up and down Pony's arm, like he was trying to keep him warm, but he could hear his oldest brother's breath hitch and he knew he was crying too.
"Come on, Dal. You don't need that. Just sit with him for a minute, alright? That's what he'd have wanted."
Two-Bit had pulled Dally back towards Johnny's bed, taking the unloaded gun he must have pulled out and leaving it on the bedside table next to the newspaper with their faces on the front page. To Pony's unending surprise, Dally dropped back into the chair next to Johnny's bed and dropped his head onto it, shoulders shaking as he sobbed. Maybe he didn't want to fight all of them to get out of this room. Or maybe he was tired like Ponyboy…maybe doing this over and over again had wrung him out too, even if it hadn't been real. Even if he didn't really remember. They all looked so tired…so young and heartbroken and utterly exhausted, even though it was only about 9pm.
Ponyboy turned his face and hid against Darry's shirt, tears running down his face that he was too tired to even try and wipe away. His head had started to spin, and it was hard to stay upright in that chair as Darry rubbed a hand over the back of his head. He felt like he might just fall sideways and hit the floor, even if Darry was there to catch him. But this…all of them being there with Johnny…it felt right. Even if it wasn't the answer, it was still right.
Let tomorrow be another day, he pleaded silently, too tired to make himself say it out loud. Please…let me go back. He realized then that he hadn't exactly been specific and decided to try it. He wanted to go back to before Johnny had stabbed that soc. Hell, before he'd run out of the house. He got the idea that he didn't want to ask for too much…that he didn't want to jinx it, so he focused on just that. Before he'd run out of the house. Hell, he didn't care if it was when Darry had just hit him…that was fine! He could work with that! But if he could go back to before they'd met those socs in the park, Johnny would be okay!
"Pony?" Darry asked, squeezing his arm. "Kiddo? Hey…are you okay?" he murmured, and Pony realized he was listening sideway, his body limp as he leaned entirely on his brother. But he didn't have to worry…Darry would catch him. Darry always caught him.
"Darry? What's wrong with him?" Soda asked, voice still hoarse from crying.
"He's burning up…" his brother muttered, trying to shift him so that he wouldn't fall.
It didn't matter, Pony thought, slipping into a darkness he prayed he woke up from anywhere but his own bed that morning. Just let tomorrow be another day.
