The signs had been there for all to see, and though Harry had seen them, he still did not manage to prevent it from happening.
The week started normal enough, but then suddenly on Wednesday, Ron's bad mood was back with a vengeance. It got so worse that he accidentally overpowered a stunner that threw Neville against the wall during their Wednesday morning. Rather than apologise, Ron had just let out an angry yell and stormed out.
Then on Friday, things really took a turn for the worst.
The HA meeting was close to ending when it happened. A loud bang, followed by a small lightning show, alerted Harry to the fact that something was wrong.
Flashbacks to last year and Umbridge's invasion shot through his head. Instead, he was taken aback to see it was Ron who had seemingly attacked a couple of fifth-year Hufflepuffs.
Roger Wright, the Hufflepuff who had been wary of changing the name to Hermione's Army, was lying on his back on the ground, while his two friends stood above him, duelling with Ron. They were no match, however, and could do little more than keep up their shields against Ron's barrage of attacks.
Harry could have believed that it was just practise, but Ron seemed a bit too keen to teach the Hufflepuffs a lesson. He looked absolutely furious.
"RON!" Harry yelled as he sped towards the four. He aimed a well-practised non-verbal Disarmer at Ron, who blocked it and continued casting.
Deciding that enough was enough, Harry quickly cast a series of stunners, the first two cast non-verbally and the third verbalized. Ron managed to defend against the first two, but the third one was strong enough to blast through Ron's shield charm.
As Ron hit the ground, Harry yelled: "Everybody leave. Now!" His command brook no argument, even if the Hufflepuffs looked like they wanted to do so very much. Unsurprisingly, Neville and Ginny decided not to honour it.
When everyone had left, Harry cast an enervate and Ron came to.
"What happened?" Harry asked. He could feel Ginny and Neville standing behind him, looking at Ron.
"Whadya mean?" Ron answered groggily, blinking and looking around dazedly.
"Why did you attack those Hufflepuffs?"
Ron blinked at him and then scowled. "Those twats were just fucking around! I needed to teach them a lesson about how serious this should be! We're in a fucking war! Just because they aren't on the front line, doesn't mean they'll escape this shit unharmed," he half-shouted at them.
"Yeah, well, we also don't want them to think they should be on the front line, remember?" Harry said.
"Yeah, well, they don't always have a choice, do they? So they better make sure they're up to snuff," Ron argued angrily.
"Yeah, and attacking them unprovoked is a great way to get that across," Ginny butted in sarcastically, rolling her eyes."Newsflash, brother dear, thanks to Potter here, your experience is in no way comparable to that of Roger and his friends."
"Oh, you shut up, Ginny!" Ron snapped at her, "You're not Hermione, you don't always know better!"
"Of course, I'm not Hermione, you great prat!" Ginny yelled back.
Before things could escalate further, Nevile spoke up.
"And that's exactly what Ron is trying to get across, I think," he said. "Hermione's Army isn't just a way to learn to protect yourself, but also your friends and family. Sure, Ron could've gone about it in a better way, but I think the message is sound."
Ron turned around and muttered under his breath, "I don't have the time for this."
He walked out.
- In Her Memory –
Ron had been in bed when Harry arrived back in the dorm with Neville, and he hadn't said anything to either Seamus or Dean. His curtains were charmed shut and there were multiple sound charms active: sound could neither go in nor out.
When Harry woke up that morning, he tried to rouse Ron without success. Harry figured Ron was a bit embarrassed from his meltdown from the day before, even if may have been justified. Shrugging Harry went down to the Great Hall and ate breakfast with most of the other Gryffindors. He then spent most of the day working through his never-ending supply of homework with Neville, Seamus and Dean.
He couldn't concentrate though, he knew people were staring at him, wondering where Ron was and what had happened the previous night.
Ron didn't show up at lunch. The Hogwarts rumour mill showed its worst side again, with rumours that Ron had been expelled making the rounds. Harry knew this was rubbish, but it was worrying nonetheless. When he also didn't show up at dinner either, Harry made his way back up to the dorms and opened the door.
Ron was just coming back from the bathroom, still in his pyjamas.
"Are you okay, Ron?" Harry asked. But Ron didn't respond, just walked silently back to his bed, his back to Harry. As he tried to put up his charms again, Harry was quick to interrupt him.
"Ron, what are you doing?" Harry tried again, grabbing Ron's hand to stop him from casting.
Then Ron looked up and Harry started.
He didn't know what he expected but a total lack of emotion certainly wasn't it. Ron looked dead-tired.
"Just leave me alone, Harry," he said in a defeated tone.
"Why? What's wrong?" Harry asked, the concern clear in his voice.
"What isn't?" Ron shrugged, as he laid back on his bed, grabbing their charms textbook.
"Is this because of what happened yesterday?" Harry guessed. "Because I'm sure that won't be a problem if we explain what Neville said."
"Yeah, great," Ron murmured. "Can you leave me alone now? I'm tired, and I need to finish this chapter."
"Yeah, sure," Harry said.
He walked out of the room. As he stood on the landing, overlooking the Gryffindor Common Room, he suddenly felt very alone. He saw Neville working on homework with Sophie and Lily. Ginny, Dean and Seamus were relaxing with some of her dorm mates. Parvati and Lavender were giggling from behind a Witch Weekly magazine.
Deciding he wanted to wallow in his loneliness for a while, Harry got out the map and decided to take a stroll through the castle.
- In Her Memory –
A half-hour or so later, he ran into someone he hadn't really seen around this entire year. It was quite possible Harry just kept missing him. But normally, Peeves was always around to cause chaos for as many people as possible.
This time he was terrorizing the paintings. He was spinning them around, tilting them left and right so the painted subjects fell into their neighbours' paintings.
As Harry approached, he was spotted by Peeves.
"Ooooh! Potter, all alone! What fun!" he cackled manically. Harry wasn't that impressed. He felt like he couldn't care about much right now.
"Hello, Peeves, how are you?" he asked, wondering why he even bothered asking.
"Better than you! Turn that frown upside down, Potter!" Peeves turned himself upside down and laughed.
"I haven't seen you around that much, what you've been up to?" Harry asked, actually a bit curious.
"Why, don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong, Potter, or the smell might become even Rotter!" A huge farting noise and a foul smell drafted through the corridor.
"That will be enough, Peeves," a familiar, calm voice said from somewhere behind Harry. He turned around and saw the Headmaster looking up at Peeves.
Peeves scowled but with something as close to politeness as was possible for a poltergeist, said: "Sorry, Mr Headmaster, sir," and he quickly fled the scene.
Flabbergasted, Harry looked at the Headmaster and asked: "What was that all about?"
Dumbledore chuckled. "I had somewhat of a conversation with Peeves last summer. I convinced it to scale down its usual antics a bit, considering the difficult times we are living in." The smile disappeared. "People will have a hard enough time already without Peeves wreaking havoc left and right."
"Couldn't you just exorcise him or something?" Harry asked.
"I could, which is the reason why Peeves at least somewhat listens to me. The problem lies with what we discussed last summer, Harry. There is so much magic in these halls, in the very stones themselves. A poltergeist is likely inevitable, especially considering the amount of mischief and chaos that is to be expected with housing this many students in their most volatile ages. I'd rather keep Peeves around than risk another, more destructive, less neutral one taking his place. Even if Peeves is exceptionally powerful," the Headmaster said, walking toward his office. Harry followed without thinking about it.
"He is?" Harry questioned.
"It is," Dumbledore corrected, "Most poltergeists are invisible, Harry. The fact that Peeves has enough magic of its own to maintain a visible presence is rather unique. Though, of course, whether Peeves has any magic of its own is debatable. It's one of the main objects of interest for those studying amortals. Hogwarts has in the past offered Ghoul Studies as an optional class, but the Minister of Magic offers its own training for those interested."
They stopped to wait for the doors to revolving staircase to open.
"Amortals?" Harry questioned.
"Peeves came into existence through magic and therefore cannot "die" as it was never "alive" to begin with. Which is why you should refer to it as an "it". An exorcism would therefore do nothing but break up the concentrated magic from which Peeves came forth. After which it would only be a matter of time before another poltergeist would reappear."
They took place in their usual seats. Harry wasn't even sure why he was here, but he couldn't think of anything other he wanted to do.
"Did Voldemort take Ghoul Studies? I'd think amortality would be something he would be very interested in," Harry questioned.
"He did indeed," Dumbledore nodded. "One of the last years we had a class for it if I remember correctly. Of course, he had by then already created at least the Diary Horcrux. Lemon Drop, Harry?" he said, offering his bowl.
"Thanks," Harry said, grabbing one. "You do love candy," he observed, with a small teasing smile on his lips.
"Guilty," the Headmaster said with a smile, "I have always had a sweet tooth, I must confess."
They said in affable silence for a while, enjoying their sweets.
"What led you to walking the corridors alone this evening, if I may ask? Something troubling you, perhaps?"
Harry sighed. "It's Ron, sir. There was an … incident last night during the HA meeting. Today he didn't come out of bed at all. He seemed sick? Well, not really sick, I guess, but I don't think he was well."
"Why do you say that?" Dumbledore asked.
"He just seemed, defeated I guess."
Dumbledore made a contemplative noise and sighed. "Of course, you have both been going through some tough times. Combined with the breakneck schedule you have set for yourselves, it isn't that unlikely to think either of you would have some sort of breakdown at some point."
"It could just be today, he might be back to normal tomorrow," Harry said hopefully.
"Perhaps," Dumbledore said, folding his fingers, "May I ask what happened yesterday?"
"Oh, Ron semi-seriously attacked three Hufflepuffs because he felt they weren't taking the sessions seriously enough," Harry said, "which, I can kind of understand, but at the same time we don't want members to think they will be on the frontline, right?"
"No, we should not encourage them to recklessly put their lives in danger. But taking defence seriously is something that would not go amiss." Dumbledore smiled at him then, "I suggest you keep an eye out on Mr Weasley and alert Professor McGonagall or Madame Pomfrey if you feel such a course of action would be necessary."
"Of course," Harry agreed.
"As I'm speaking to you anyway, Harry, I wanted to ask you two things. First of all, have you come up with a plan for getting Professor Slughorn's memory?"
Harry had, even though he wasn't sure they still needed it. "Professor Slughorn is hosting a Christmas party for the Slugclub. I'm hoping to strike at some point that evening."
"Ah, yes," Dumbledore chuckled, "Horace's famous Christmas parties. So, have you decided who to take as your guest?"
Harry stared at him for a moment and only just caught himself from swearing. Of course, Slughorn would be expecting them to bring dates. But who? Ginny and Luna were the obvious choices because they were his friends, but they were both dating so that would be out of the question, right? Ginny would be anyway, as she would be going with Dean. But he needed someone to help butter up Slughorn, so he couldn't ask Parvati again, she had no idea about what was going on. The same was true for the other Griffindor girls. Luna didn't either, but Harry trusted her.
"I take it you haven't decided it yet?" Dumbledore concluded. "If I may give you some advice, Harry, because I think I know you well enough to guess what you're thinking: you don't have to choose someone that could help you with Professor Slughorn. Take it also as an opportunity to relax a little, and choose someone you would like to go with," the Headmaster said with an encouraging smile.
Harry blushed a little. "I wouldn't know who to ask, though," he confessed.
"No girls at all?" Dumbledore enquiered. "Or boys?" he continued.
Harry spluttered a bit, "Boys? As a date?" he said. The thought had never even occurred to him. If he were to take Ron, it would probably be beneficial in his chances of getting the memory. He also was quite sure the social upheaval it would create would not outweigh that benefit.
"One of my biggest failures as Headmaster, if I do say so myself, has been my inability to create an environment in which students do not feel the need to hide who they are. Not everyone has the courage, or disregard of the opinion of others, that Miss Moon and Miss Lovegood have," the Headmaster said, eyes twinkling. "I, myself, only realized after school, after telling myself for years that I had no interest in the girls of my age because my studies were more important than love. Of course, that was until I met him…" the Headmaster said, trailing off with a sigh, with a faraway look.
Harry didn't say anything. He had never known the Headmaster was gay, hadn't even wondered why the man had never had a wife or children. It was just one of those things. Like he had never wondered whether McGonagall was, or had been, married. Or any of the other teachers. Except for Snape. Harry had no problem believing that he wasn't married.
Apparently, he had been silent for a bit too long, because Dumbledore spoke up again. "My apologies, Harry, here you are again, listening to an old man rambling to you on a Saturday night."
Harry was quick to reassure his Headmaster, "Oh, no, sir, it's no problem. It just came as a bit of a surprise, I guess. I didn't mean anything by it."
Dumbledore smiled sadly, "I wish it was more widely known, but the questions that would be asked would be, problematic for me, to some extend. I guess you could say that I'm still hiding," he said, seemingly coming to some conclusion.
Harry was confused, "What sort of questions are you afraid of? I'm sorry if it's too personal to ask," he hastened to add.
Dumbledore looked at him for a moment, playing with the supposed Horcrux ring on his finger. "My boy," he said, smiling indulgently, "you have been asking personal questions ever since we met in front of the Mirror of Erised," and then more seriously, "The questions would be problematic, due to the subject of my first, and only, love," he said slowly.
"Was, or is, he muggle-born?" Harry questioned. Dumbledore let out a small, humourless laugh, that Harry had never heard the man make.
"No, he isn't muggle-born," he said. "I'd rather not go into details, it is still painful. Suffice it to say that when we met, Gellert was far from the man he would later become," the Headmaster said, the pain he referred to clear in his voice.
The name did ring a bell for Harry, but it couldn't be that Gellert, right?
"Gellert? Not like…?"
"Grindelwald?" Dumbledore said, "It's hard to understand, I realize."
"How did you meet?" Harry asked, after a moment of coming to terms with that idea. He wanted to know more but was afraid of asking too much and this was probably the safest subject.
"He came to stay with his Great-Aunt Bathilda Bagshot, who you should know as the author of your history books, who happened to be my neighbour when we were living in Godric's Hollow."
"Godric's Hollow? That's where my parents lived, right? When they left Potter House, I mean," Harry said.
"If by Potter House you mean the manor, then yes. Am I correct in saying you've never been there, to Godric's Hollow?"
"No, I never even thought about it, to be honest," Harry said, wondering to himself why he had never even asked Mr or Mrs Weasley.
"Would you be interested to visit? I'm sure either I or Remus would be willing to show you around, or both, which would be even safer."
"I would!" Harry said enthusiastically, then, in a more subdued voice, "is that where they're buried?"
Dumbledore looked at him with kind and warm eyes and nodded. "I'm sure we can arrange something during the Christmas Holidays, my boy."
Harry smiled, "That'd be great, and that actually reminds me. I know I don't get access to the Potter vault until I turn seventeen, but it must be possible for me to visit somehow?"
"I'm sure that can be rearranged somehow," Dumbledore agreed.
Now Harry was curious, "What is the position of the Goblins during the war? I assume they are neutral? I only know they've heightened security measures."
Dumbledore nodded, "They are neutral," he said with a bit of a frown.
"Voldemort's going to leave them alone?" Harry scoffed.
"No, I do not believe so, Gringotts is very powerful, Tom will want to have control," the Headmaster said.
They sat then, just thinking about all the things they had discussed. Harry spent another half an hour or so in the Headmaster's office, talking about all sorts of things.
- In Her Memory –
The next day, Harry and Ginny spend a lot of time convincing Ron to come to Quidditch practice. His reluctance to play just furthered the idea that Ron had seemingly given up. This also meant that practice did not go well, making Harry actually cut it short. As this was the last practise for this term, Harry felt the Quidditch term had ended somewhat sour. He hoped Ron would be back to himself when they had to play Hufflepuff in March.
As Christmas was approaching, Harry had also begun sending letters to order the gifts he had planned. He loathed using his fame, but he convinced himself it was okay if he used it for a good cause. In this case, the cause was cheering up Ron. He had exchanged letters with the company that produced the Chocolate Frog Cards, asking whether it be possible for him to order a huge amount of Chocolate Frogs, with the caveat that he wanted to pay extra to ensure that Ptomely was one of the cards. This was the last one Ron still needed. He probably could have also just paid the company to send that specific card but he didn't want it to be that obvious he had bought the card.
The conversation he had had with Mr and Mrs Weasley had given him more room to buy more expensive gifts. Which was great, but also a problem as it just gave him more options to choose from. Which meant he had to think harder about what and who to give things to.
Some people were easier to buy a present for than others. He could just buy something muggle for Mr Weasley, but he knew that Ginny and Ron would probably also do that, so Harry had the idea to pay for a night out for Mr and Mrs Weasley, either Muggle or Magical. He knew both were busy with Order work, and he assumed they would very much enjoy a night of relaxation. For Luna, he was thinking about something that would help her with her Parseltongue project or maybe a Muggle book on mythical creatures. He was also hoping to find something in the Potter vault that he could give to Ginny, assuming that he would be able to visit before Christmas. Otherwise, he would gift her a day at a muggle amusement park at some point.
He also hadn't ever given the Twins a Christmas present, but since they were kind of doing research for him he felt he should. Besides, they had been friends for a long time. Same with Neville, but he figured he could give Neville something to do with training or something like that.
Monday morning came and Neville and Harry failed to convince Ron to come out of bed for their Defense self-study session. Harry thought this was a bit hypocritical, considering what Ron had said about the Hufflepuffs, but he was wary to call Ron out on it. He felt quite sure that it would not help if he did so.
He also didn't join their workout session afterwards, so Harry spend most of his day alone, working on his homework.
Ron did show up at potions, though, which was the only class they had on Monday. He was clearly going to the motions, though, paying just enough attention to keep his cauldron from melting or exploding.
Tuesday saw Ron accompany Harry almost the entire day, but much more than just being there Ron didn't do. Herbology went fine, but Charms and Transfiguration each saw Ron get extra homework due to the quality of his casting. Whereas for Harry, the extra animagus studies had paid off, resulting in him successfully transfiguring his eyebrow. Ron failed to even change the colour, something Harry was sure Ron could easily manage. Even more concerning was the total apathy with which Ron reacted, or rather not reacted, to his failures. Harry saw McGonagall looking at Ron, and Harry knew that at some point he had to do something.
That evening, during the first Hermione's Army meeting after what had happened, Harry started the meeting by explaining why Ron had done what he did.
"Christmas is approaching," he had begun, "a time for family and friends. It's now been just over 6 months since I lost my godfather and my best friend. They were casualties of a war that they chose to fight in. But do not," he said, really wanting to emphasize this point, "think that you are safe, just because you won't be on the frontlines. The war will come for all of us, it will come for your friends and your family, your neighbours and your classmates. Even if you do not want to fight, chances are you might have to anyway.
Taking these meetings seriously might not only save your life but the lives of those around you. These meetings are not meant to prepare you for your exams. And no, the goal of these meetings is also not to turn you into soldiers, into an actual army. We do not expect you to fight with us. Even so, that does not mean we hold these meetings just for fun, even if we like to hang around for a bit after on Fridays. So, I implore you. Please take these meetings seriously, if not for yourself, then for your friends and family."
He looked around at the attentive faces, happy to see the Hufflepuffs were there. He looked them in the eye and continued. "To Roger, Kevin and Adrian, I apologize for what Ron did last Friday. We, those involved with the war effort, are under enormous stress and I'm afraid that it just was a bit too much for Ron on Friday. I hope you can forgive him and understand why he did what he did, even though it was clearly the wrong way to go about it."
The Hufflepuffs didn't look entirely happy with that apology but they nodded nonetheless. Harry hoped that some of the words had made an impact. He found it incredibly difficult to explain why he felt that people needed to take this seriously if he, at the same time, wanted them to not have to fight at all.
- In Her Memory –
Wednesday Harry again failed to convince Ron to join him and Neville in their Defense self-study. Luckily they only had Transfiguration as a class that day and they had an extra free evening now they were taking their Quidditch winter break.
Because they had a couple of hours extra, Harry and Ginny had conspired to force Ron to go see Madam Pomfrey.
They approached him in the common room before dinner, knowing that Ron probably wouldn't go down to the Great Hall for it.
"Hey, Ron," Harry began, "want to join me and Ginny for dinner in the kitchens?"
"Sure," Ron responded carelessly, shrugging.
Harry did feel a bit sorry for the Hogwarts House Elves, crashing their dinner preparations like they were. But between Kreacher and an eager Dobby, they had dinner in front of them in no time.
They ate talking about different topics, like Luna's parseltongue project and Ginny informing them about Seamus' plans to get Neville a date with one of her dorm mates. Apparently, he hadn't been very successful, because neither Ginny's dorm mates nor Neville were very interested. Ginny also updated them on some of the more interesting Hogwarts rumours.
Apparently, the rumour mill had gone wild in speculation who Harry would take to the Slughorn Christmas party. It seemed the top candidates were Parvati and for some reason, Romilda Vane.
"Yeah," Ginny said darkly when Harry expressed his incredulity when she told him that. "You better watch out, Harry. I've heard rumours she got her hands on some love potion, and is planning to dose you some way." Then she groaned, "Oh, I can't stand her. She better not go through with her harebrained idea. I will not stand for people trying to subvert someone's free will," she finished passionately, slapping the tabletop.
Half way through dessert, Ron, who hadn't contributed to the conversation at all, sighed. "Okay, just spit it out."
"What?" Harry responded stupidly.
Ron looked at him, then at Ginny. "I'm not stupid, you know. I know you're up to something."
Ginny slid her arm round his waist. "We want you to come with us to see Pomfrey."
Ron didn't respond immediately, he just sighed again. "Why?"
"Mate, you're clearly not your-" Harry started to say, but stopped when Ginny kicked him in the shin.
"Ron, you are not okay, right now," she said from beneath Ron's arm. "And that's okay! I'm so proud of all the progress you have made the last months. Harry is too, right, Harry?"
"Yes!" Harry agreed, hoping he did sound as convinced as he was. He was proud of what Ron had done thus far this year.
"Should've done so years ago," Ron muttered.
"We can never know for sure whether that would've changed anything," Harry responded, echoing what Dumbledore had said to him. "If you don't blame me, you really shouldn't blame yourself." Not that he actually believed that, but he did know that Ron could not be blamed.
"I think you just took on too much, Ron," Ginny said, squeezing him closer. Ron face contorted a bit.
"Harry hasn't gone crazy, though," he said morosely. "I'm just weak."
"You are not crazy, Ron, don't even joke about that!" Ginny said vehemently.
Harry took a different route, "You know why I haven't 'gone crazy'?", he said, feeling wound up a bit. "The stress of these last months is nothing compared to what went on in my head last year! Homework? Try having Voldemort in your head for a year. Compared to that this year has been a breeze!"
"That's exactly what I meant!" Ron said hotly, "You and Ginny both survived having him in your head, I can't even handle Hermione's study schedule for four months! Four months!" he said. "Hermione did even more than us for a whole year!"
"Comparing how bad you have it is not helpful," Ginny said, shooting Harry a reproachful look, "This isn't a competition. I'm sure Hermione would have been very proud of you for what you've done this term, Ron," she said softly. Ron sniffled.
Harry stared at the tabletop. As always, he gladly deferred to Ginny's experience with issues like this. "I merely meant, that while this year is probably Ron's worst year, it's just another worst year for me. I'm somewhat used to it by now," he shrugged.
"And Ron," Ginny continued, "you can't say that Harry is good at dealing with it. Remember how he hid what Umbridge did to him? Or how he screamed at you and Hermione when he arrived at Grimmauld Place? Or how he got so caught up in his own misery he forgot about what he and I have in common?"
"Hey!" Harry said indignantly.
"Point is, Ron, you might think that Harry deals with the bullshit, but I'll tell you he doesn't." She looked at Harry then. "Not in a healthy way at least. Remember Bill telling Mum that Harry really should see a Mind Healer?"
Ron nodded, and looked at Harry for fleeting moment.
"And if you want to do better," Ginny said, squeezing Ron's midriff again, "an important first step is realizing that even though you have to do it yourself, that doesn't mean you can't ask for help. There are many people that care about you. Now why don't we go see Pomfrey?"
Ron looked her in the eyes for a moment and then moved into to hug his sister. Harry felt a stab of envy in his heart. This was how a family was supposed to be.
"Okay," Ron said softly. "Don't know what good she'll do, but okay. Probably just say that I'm tired again."
Ginny smiled half-heartedly and the three of them made their way to the Hospital Wing.
Harry knocked on the door and they opened to see Madam Pomfrey walking toward them.
"Miss Weasley?" the Matron enquired.
"I'm not sure, Madam Pomfrey, but I suspect my brother isn't well," Ginny answered.
"Not here for Potter, then?" Pomfrey asked, shooting a dubious looked Harry.
"Not yet, no," Ginny smiled. Harry felt he missed something.
"Alright then, Mr Weasley, if you could sit down here, please," she led Ron to a bed and sat him down on the side.
Wand in hand, the matron waved this way and that way, muttering this and that, causing different lights to wash over Ron. A quill was automatically recording the findings. Seeing a chance to learn some more Healing Magic, Harry asked what she was doing.
Pomfrey stopped for a moment, apparently distracted by the fact that she was asked to explain. She seemed to appreciate it though, as she begin to explain.
"Normally, you'd start with trying to create overview of general health. But considering I saw Mr Weasley back in October and there is nothing obviously wrong, I skipped that step and am now measuring his magical fitness," she explained and then frowned as the results came in. A dark red light surrounded Ron.
"What does that mean?" he asked, looking at his hands.
"It means you are magically exhausted," Pomfrey answered, "but in this case not from over-use, am I right?"
"No," Ron said, shooking his head.
"I don't need magic to see you look peaky and tired, how are you feeling physically?" the Matron continued.
"Tired from all the workouts we do," Ron said, nodding to Harry. Harry knew this wasn't true though. Ron had not joined them this week, and he himself hadn't had muscle aches for at least month now.
"Hmm," the Matrons said, clearly also not believing that. "A workout normally only tires out your muscular system, not your nervous system, Mr Weasley," she said, tutting softly, "which is what has happened to you. Your nervous system is exhausted. How are you mentally?"
Ron didn't answer, just looked away and sighed yet again.
"A bit depressed, I imagine," Ginny commented.
"So, to conclude," the Matron began, "you're exhausted, magically, physically and mentally. And probably also emotionally," the Matron concluded. She read over the rapport again. She frowned. "Tell me, Mr Weasley" she said slowly, "have you come into contact with Cheering Charms?"
Ron's face became ever paler.
"Oh, yeah, we have been experimenting with –" Harry began to add, but he stopped. Ron had not participated with their Cheering Charms experiment, had he?
"Have you been casting them on each other multiple times a day?" the Matron enquired, looking at Harry sternly.
"Me and Neville, yeah, not everyday though. Ron didn't participate," he was fast to answer.
"When was this?" Ginny asked suspiciously.
"We started with the experiments two weeks ago, I think?" Harry said.
"So, the week before his mood got bad again?"
"Uh, actually, yeah, I think so," Harry said slowly, "why?"
Ginny's face looked heartbroken. "Oh, Ron," she said softly. "You've been using Cheering Charms, right?"
Ron didn't respond to that but his crestfallen face told the entire story.
The Matron looked outraged. "That would certainly explain the Magical Exhaustion. I gather you used them for some time, then tried to stop because you knew they were addictive, and what we have in front of us is to some extent the result of withdrawals?"
Ron looked angry and his jaw clenched, but he nodded. Harry felt sick. How had he missed this?
"While clearly not a great idea, I must commend you for understanding the dangerous path you were on, and getting off it before it got too bad," Madam Pomfrey said. Harry was surprised at her tone of voice. He expected her to chew Ron out for being stupid but she sounded understanding, to some degree at least.
"Now, I'll keep you overnight. Some dreamless sleep potion wouldn't go amiss, and then tomorrow we will inform your parents of what has happened," the Matron said. Ron swallowed loudly and Ginny grimaced. That would not be a happy conversation.
With that, the Matron went to fix the bedlinen and the potions. Ron sat on his bed twiddling his thumbs, making a point of not looking at Harry or Ginny. "I'm sorry," he murmured.
Harry felt his heart break for his friend. All this would never have happened if Ron had not sat in the compartment with him during their first trip on the Hogwarts express. If anyone had to apologise, it was him.
"No, mate. I'm sorry. For not paying more attention, for constantly getting you in dangerous situations, for -," he said, before once again being cut off by Ginny.
"The only person who willbe sorry for all of this is Tom," she snarled. "I don't know who will deliver the final blow, but I hope I'm there to see it." She said.
Harry swallowed heavily. Ginny was right. The only way Harry could make all this better was to, once and for all, rid the world of Voldemort, his followers, and if he lived long enough to do so, make sure something like this never happened again.
-
My apologies for the huge delay in posting. I simply lost motivation during the summer holidays, but I'm getting back on track with this update. I still have four chapters done, so I'm planning to post again this Saturday.
Ron is basically suffering from a burnout. One of my biggest pet peeves with AU's is if Harry suddenly becomes this super disciplined kid who trains and studies 24/7. I realize these stories don't have to be "realistic" but it has just always annoyed me. Especially with the mental drain on Ron's emotions, I felt some sort of break down was inevitable. And I agree with Ginny, Ron is NOT weak. Even when compared to Harry, who has been under huge amounts of stress for at least 2,5 years straight at this point in the story. Harry is just wired differently from most other kids at this point.
