"Uncle Anthony never got arid of that book."

Friday had come faster than expected. Anthony and I hadn't spoke in the interim, but I did my own thing nonetheless. Edwina successfully convinced him to go to the poetry reading today. He agreed on the provision that some of his siblings might come as well. Fine by us! Friedrich was meeting us there too.

The poetry reading was held at the beautiful conservatory here in London. It had a glass domed ceiling with gold and white trim; very pretty. The reading itself was to be in this magnificent parlour on the other side, which disappointed me slightly. There was this stunning, massive greenhouse in the centre with all kinds of plants you could think of; it sung to me.

But something else was at the forefront of my attention at the present. Edwina and I arrived a little early, and while she quickly ran off to join some friends, I began searching for Anthony. There was something I wanted to say to him, to give him…. And I thought it best to do this somewhere private- heh, like the greenhouse.

No! Stay focused, Kate. The reading will start soon and I have to find him before then. It felt a little weird; this was the first time I was actively looking for him, something I never thought I'd do. Yet here I was, combing the many hallways in search of the Viscount. There weren't many people around; none that I recognized anyway. But I did round one corner to see someone there- a man who I'll admit had a twinge of resemblance to Anthony. Running out of time, I quickly approached him; he was standing still and fiddling with one of his white silk gloves.

"Excuse me, sir? Do you happen to know where Anth-…. Uh, Lord Bridgerton is?" The guy paused what he was doing to glance my way. He gave me a once over and smiled lightly. "You mean my brother? He was on his way over to the greenhouse, last I checked." The greenhouse?! Darn it, I knew I should have trusted my gut… and done what I originally wanted to do, heh. Wait…. Did he just say…..? My pointed forefinger rose a little.

"Did you say "brother"?" He chuckled in this warm fashion. Gee, if he was Anthony's brother, I can't imagine what his other siblings are like. He's nothing like Anthony, or the Anthony I know anyway. "Yes, I'm the third Bridgerton brother, Colin Bridgerton," his hand stuck out to shake mine, which surprised me a tad. Still, I shook it to be polite. I was going to introduce myself, but he carried on, surprising me even more. He pulled his hand back to clasp it behind his back; much like Anthony always does. That was the first gesture the two shared.

"Now let me guess, you're Kate Sharma right? Pleased to finally meet you; Anthony's told us lots about you." I gasped in pure shock, my hand lifted up to my chest on reflex. "Y-You know who I am?" "Course! You're my brother's fiancée's sister, yes? Heh, he's very excited to have a sister-in-law; more than having a wife, I'd say." "H-He is?!" My cheeks both flushed and blushed at the same time. That was…. a bold thing to say. Doesn't Anthony have like a million sisters of his own? Why would he be excited to have me join the family? He doesn't even like me!

Colin seemed alright with me though. He had this air of personableness which his older brother lacked. He was effortlessly charming; not just with me but anyone I'd say. He was also a tad nerdy, or had this naivety to him. I liked him, I decided. He seemed like he'd be a good brother-in-law to Edwina. He certainly smiled more freely than Anthony ever did…. Except when he was near me. I had to keep myself from blushing brighter.

He chuckled again, more to himself than at me. His eyes softened ever so slightly. "You seem surprised." "U-Uh, n-no! No, I'm not…. I'm just…. I-I didn't think your brother liked me very much." Colin shrugged casually, like this was a natural statement he'd heard thousands of times before. "He doesn't like anyone; he's too wrapped up in his "viscount duties" to let himself enjoy anything. Heh, he's not happy unless he's telling someone what to do." I can believe that, I rolled my eyes. Upon noticing my negative reaction, he immediately grinned in that charming sort of way of his again. "Oh, he's done that to you, has he? Don't take it personally; he's like that to everybody. It's just who he is….. unfortunately. He's been that way ever since Dad died." "I see…." My eyes drifted downward thoughtfully. Just who he is, huh…..?

Colin's head lowered a bit in a poignant manner. "Were you looking for him?" "Uh well, y-yes. I um….. wanted to talk to him about something….." I didn't sound as confident as I'd like just then. He nodded and pointed down the hallway I'd just come down from. "He went that way, last I saw. You'll be able to reach him if you hurry." "Ah, thanks!" Giving him a grateful grin, I spun right around to dash down the hall again. "See you at the reading!" Colin hollered back and I waved at him. "See you there!"

It didn't take me long to find the viscount afterwards. Just like Colin said, he was on his way back from the direction of the greenhouse. We ran into each other in a narrow hallway in between the places. He saw me and I saw him, and our eyes immediately locked as we came to a sudden halt mere feet from one another. Anthony didn't look particularly overjoyed to meet me there, keeping his resting-frowning expression like he did with anyone else.

"Kate?" "Anthony! I uh…. I was looking for you," I shouldn't have said that. His eyes widened ever so lightly. "You were?" He sounded surprised, which I didn't know how to feel about. Blushing mildly and glancing down, I took the first few steps towards him while simultaneously nodding my head. "Y-Yes, I wanted to….. to thank you…. thank you in-person…. For the bike, I mean!"

This flash of realization zoomed through his gaze as he kept staring at me. Then, probably overwhelmed with embarrassment, he cleared his throat, ripping his eyes away. "No need to thank me. I didn't do it for you…. I did it to make Edwina happy." Edwina? It my turn to widened my eyes stunned. I doubt my sister even noticed my new bike; she was still so obsessed over her new car. Anything that happened to or with me was an afterthought of hers. If he truly did it to make her happy, I'm not sure that it worked…. Which led me to believe that it wasn't true….. Maybe.

Feeling rather shy now, I forced my hand to lift up, holding a present I personally wrapped for him out for Anthony to take. He blinked at it both startled and confused, then his eyes drifted back my way. I refused to look back at him, keeping my arm extended.

"What's that?" "Here….. This is for you," I somehow croaked out. Curious, he took the package from me, cautiously opening it. The wrap unravelled to reveal a book, a German novel. He gawked down at it with a mix of emotions spread across his face, simply holding the book in his hand for a second.

"The Sorrows of Young Werther?" "Y-Yeah! Y-You referenced it before, and I wasn't sure if you had a copy…." My awkward hand rubbed the back of my neck. Why was this so hard? Anthony and I had talked a few times before, but it never felt this tense or weird for me. My tone was all over the place, as was my vision, never pointed directly at him. Meanwhile Anthony's gaze moved repeatedly up between my face and the book's cover. He examined the novel, his eyebrow raising slightly.

"You bought me a….. used copy?" He didn't sound impressed, and that's when reality came crumbling back. I was able to look him back in the eye and straightened my posture a little. I pointed to the cover like I was motioning for something that wasn't there. "It's from a charity shop which donates to men's mental health organizations. You got me something personal….. so I wanted to do something more meaningful than just buy you an ordinary book in return. I wanted to do some good with my purchase…." I explained, feeling more solid in my conviction. Anthony's gaze returned up my way from the book as his other hand reached up to run across the cover in a thoughtful, expressive fashion. His lips pressed together a tad before he let out a low, solemn chuckle. "Is this your way of saying I need help for my own mental health?" "No. I don't know enough about you to something kind for you exactly….. so I did something kind for other men," I said, and he looked at me.

He looked at me.

His fingers gripped the book as he finally let himself smile-smirk; a smirk I got the impression he was holding back. With gentleness, his arm lowered and he leaned forward a touch. "Thank you, Kate. Thank you….. I admit I don't own a copy of Young Werther, and haven't read it in years." "I won't be offended if you don't read it again," was my swift reply but his tenderly shook his head, still smiling. "I could force myself to give it another go…. sometime this summer," he chuckled and I too let myself grin- finally. Our facial expressions matched perfectly for a moment until Anthony lowered his eyes back downward, parting his lush lips.

"Look, it's clear that we don't like each other. You can't stand me, and I can barely tolerate you." "True," I nodded and he cleared his throat once more, as if to clear the air around us. "But let's face it; we're going to be brother and sister-in-law. We can at least pretend to get along….. for Edwina's sake." "I wholeheartedly agree; we can pretend to be friends at the very least. I promised…. I promised Edwina that I'd try…" My eyes drifted down too. I noticed Anthony clasping onto his new book pretty tight down at his side. His fingers were bending the cover slightly… Anthony's lips pursed together again.

A pregnant pause fell over us until the viscount filled it once more. I could hear him breathing from here….. "So you…. liked the bicycle?" "Oh yes, very much so! It's perfect! And you…. like your book?" I inquired a tad timidly, and Anthony eyes reached up to meet mine again. "Yes…." Was all he said. Neither of us made a sound but we stood there, beaming at one another…..

Eventually he signed, lowering his shoulders slightly. "We should head back….. The poetry reading will be starting soon." So soon? Wait, did I just think that?! Really?! Nugh, what's wrong with me?! Why do I feel all…. weird and gooey inside? I've never felt this way before….. "Y-Yeah…." Was all I could manage to get out of my stupid, idiotic cotton throat. Anthony's eyes sharpened intently onto me for a minute, like he was trying to be serious again. Or appear serious anyway….. "Remember, I didn't get that bike for you, per se….. My thoughts were only of Edwina and trying to please her… like you said I should. If you're happy, she's happy." "But you said…. you didn't care about my "satisfaction"?" I retorted with a sudden clever grin and his back arched. "I don't!" "Heh, really?" My eyebrow lifted and he turned his head sideways. He proceeded to brush past me, walking forward in the hall towards the parlour. "You're being ridiculous. It doesn't prove anything, contrary to what you may think."

I didn't follow him right away, but instead twisted my upper half to face him once again. It was me who wore a sincere expression now, lowering my eyes into him intently. My lips opened a sliver…..

"Well you proved one thing to me: that you can be kind…" I remarked, looking at him. Anthony stopped to stare back a moment, keeping his hands clasped behind his back. Then he gave a smile- not a smirk, a smile.

The first true, unreserved, self-aware smile he's ever given me.

His head lowered gently as he leaned forward a tad in my direction. "I won't repeat myself. Don't let me catch you on that bike without a helmet again," then he turned to walk away. I watched him go, smiling sincerely to myself. It's just as Colin said, this man doesn't know how to verbally expression his feelings, or at least consciously. He can't think of one nice thing to say, how to let someone his positive thoughts about them. He can't give a sincere compliment- that wall around his heart is too high. So he reverts back to what he knows, what he's comfortable with, and that's issuing orders. It's like I said back when we ran into each other at the ball: he likes telling people what to do. It's the most obvious, easiest form of communication for the Viscount, Lord Anthony Bridgerton.

What he failed to realize is that he's not the only one with an academic background; I went to some very good universities as well and got myself into Oxford. What he doesn't see then is that I'm able to read between the lines. People may think that he's bossy because he wants to think he's superior, but I doubt that's the case, at least in this instance. He can't verbally express his emotions, and yet he does…. He does in his own, Anthony-like way. He doesn't want me to get hurt riding my new bike. Somewhere inside of him- deep, deep down- a kernel of care, of consideration for my wellbeing has sprouted. If he didn't care, he wouldn't say anything; Anthony's not the type to waste his breath like that.

Does this make it right or excuse his controlling behaviour? Of course not. It's never right to try and control another person, and especially a fully-grown adult. But I think that Anthony's done it for so long that he's not aware that he does do it anymore. That IS his natural state, him at his most primal, most authentic….. Does that mean he can't change? Certainly not. Deep down Anthony was a good man; I was beginning to understand that. He would do what he thinks is right; he only needs convincing first. But I also believe that it's not a woman's job to change a man or make him better. No, if Anthony was going to improve, he'd have to do it on his own. Still….. My smile deepened in its creases. It's nice being able to glimpse over that impenetrable wall…

To read between the lines like that.