"Awe, come on, Kate! Just one game of croquet; that's all I ask." "Noooooooo. All you asked is that I come to Bath. I'm here; I've done my bit," Edwina was trailing me around, begging me to come play a stupid outdoor game with her and the Bridgerton siblings.
Ok, I'll admit it: being here in Bath isn't the worst thing in the world. I really did love this city, and spending time with Daphne was nice! I insisted that Edwina have breakfast with her fiancé, cause he's the one funding this trip and it seemed like the moral thing to do. Meanwhile I ate with Daphne and her mother, Violet Bridgerton. Violet seemed nice, if not a little….. oh, how to put it? She had this "mom" way about her where you could tell she always had something more to say but refrained for some reason. It didn't take a genius to realize that the Bridgertons had their history and shady parts. I think Violet tried her best but she just didn't know any better, if that's not too harsh to say. Like Edwina and I can talk though. Whereas Violet may have been a tad too reserved in her comments, our father had no filter whatsoever; he was the exact opposite of her, and I don't think that was a good thing. It's not ideal to constantly harp on your kids never to get married, lest they regret it. Granted, I've internalized those messages myself, but at least I'm aware of my trauma and its negative effects on me. Edwina was less aware…..
I marched down the stairs in our wing of the manor with my sister hot on my heels. "You can go to the Roman bathhouse anytime! I'm sure Anthony didn't mean for you to use those tickets today." "What kind of logic is that?! Why would he care when I use them?" "Because he asked at breakfast if you were coming with us today, and I said yes," she rolled her eyes like I was the one who did something wrong. I wanted to internally scream, stopping for a moment to spin around and face her. "Why would you do that?! You know I hate croquet," I really did. Thought it was such a waste of time, like golf or cricket. If I was going to watch a sport, much less participate in it, I wanted it to be something amusing like football or hockey.
Edwina's thin hands pressed together in front of her face. "Pleeeeeeeeeease, Kate? It won't take all day. You can go to the bathhouse the moment we're done." I eyed her suspiciously, raising an eyebrow. "Promise?" "Promise!" She suddenly beamed in delighted victory, and I sighed, rolling my eyes. Why do I keep getting roped into these sorts of things? It's a good thing I'll be living in Oxford alone; wouldn't be able to get my work done with her around.
I got changed into something comfy to play croquet in- again, what a stupid game. Then I joined my sister out into the park on the opposite side of the street. It was just like the Circus in Bath; in other words that famous historical ring of townhouses you see in movies. And no, we weren't staying there but close. Our place had this magnificent view of the city and forest beyond it in all directions; I rather liked it. The park was a slopy green, cause playing croquet on a slope was a smart idea apparently. Sigh. At the bottom of the slope was this shallow drop-off which was some ways away. The game started at the top of the hill where a set of croquet mallets and balls were waiting.
The Bridgerton siblings were already there and arguing over who got to pick their mallet first; something I also found incredibly idiotic. They're just different-coloured mallets! One's as good as another. But for Edwina's sake I kept my ire to myself while the five of them carried on like children. To my surprise, Edwina also didn't seem particularly amused by this display either, standing beside me and waiting for someone to address us.
"Let us toss a coin," Colin announced, only to be deflated by Eloise. "Last year we promised to let youngest pick first," well, I can which order she takes in the Bridgerton brood. Anthony cut her off this time, making me inwardly groan. Ugh, he can be such a child when he wants to be. "We pick based on alphabetical order," that should suit him just fine considering his name starts with "A"….. Hey, wait! That means I'm last. Didn't think that one through, did he?
Finally Daphne had the decency to show some common sense. She silenced her siblings by lifting up her hand slightly. "Everyone please now. The only fair thing to do is to let our invited guests choose their mallets and strike first," well that shut them up. Out of courtesy, Anthony raised his arm up in Edwina's direction. "Please, take your pick, Edwina," oh, now he pays her the attention he should, I internally rolled my eyes. Edwina seemed satisfied with this however, and went up to point at a mallet, already expecting Anthony to fetch it for her, which he did. "An excellent choice," he responded unanimated. I actually rolled my eyes at this, completely unimpressed. Wanting this match to be over as soon as possible, I didn't waste any time going up to pick my mallet. I didn't care which one I plucked up; just chose the first one my hand came into contact with- though if I took a little more time, I would have gone for the pink one.
Course this had to the wrong mallet to choose. The instant my hand pulled it up, there were some audible gasps around us. "The mallet of death," Eloise said under her breath. "Would you look at that, brother?" The second eldest, Benedict, smirked at Anthony, who was eying me intently now. Figuring out what was going on, I blinked from him to the mallet, extending it out for him to take. "Is this yours?" "No," he didn't sound confident in his statement at all, causing me to smirk a little. "You did threaten to beat me the last time I touched that mallet," Colin unhelpfully added. "You exaggerate," Anthony fired off a glare in his direction. I snickered, keeping the mallet out extended. "I didn't take you as the superstitious sort, but then, we all can be irrational at times. Here, you take it; I'll pick a different one." His glare now turned to me and my smirk grew of its own accord. "There is nothing irrational about it. It was your choice, so you use that one. I'll pick my own. And just so you know, "Miss Sharma", I can play perfectly well with any mallet," uh huh, sure. His head tore away from mine as I stood there, smirking at him for a solid second. "I wish you the best of luck," his tone was so bitter….. I couldn't help but savour it. "Are we to stand around deliberating all day or shall we play?" Eloise was bored of our taunting one another though, and the Bridgerton siblings dove in to get their own mallet, leaving Anthony with last pick. Heh, serves him right, wanting to go in alphabetical order- how very un-Kantian of him.
I was right: croquet was mind-numbingly boring. The only fun I had was complimenting Daphne on her hits and teasing Anthony about his. He didn't hold back at poking fun at me either, sarcastically praising me at every hoop I missed- the jerk. He also took a lot of joy knocking my ball in specific out of the way of its target. His ball would whack mine and he'd shoot me a little victory smirk each time. I wanted to knock him over the head with my mallet. His gorgeous, Adonis-like head….
By noon it was clear no one was close to winning and everyone was growing tired with the game. Only Edwina and Eloise insisted that we keep playing til it's over. Seeing a sneaky chance of my own, I seized the opportunity to hit Anthony's ball- hard. Down the slope it went, rolling steadily faster on the grass. It also has the unintended consequence of my ball rolling along with it, but I didn't care. With all the prim justice I could muster, I flashed the now scowling Anthony the widest mocking smirk ever. He looked like he wanted to throttle me.
"Oops," I teased, rolling back and forth playfully with my mallet sideways in both my hands. "You think you're so clever," Anthony marched on over to where I was currently standing in an attempt better to see his ball. Benedict snickered under his breath, along with Colin and Daphne. "Do you see it, brother?" "Not yet," Anthony huffed back angrily, starting down the hill. He paused after a few steps to fire off another incensed glare my way. His arm extended out beckoning me to follow him. "Coming?" "Why?" This was a stupid question which I didn't realize until I asked it. He rolled his eyes like he was so done with this. "Your ball went this way too, genius! Don't expect me to roll it back up the hill for you. Come on," we watched him trek forward. I blinked startled before smiling to myself. He can be charming when he's not trying….. Seriously, he's not trying. Everyone stood by while I trailed Anthony down that bank.
Neither of us said anything until we were out of earshot of the others. Anthony annoyedly brushed by some bushes, cursing under his breath the whole time. His head spun back around to me when I was a few steps away from him.
"I hope you're happy. It's your fault the game's going to take much longer now." "You're just mad I hit your ball back- for once," heh, and sent it flying into space when I did. He huffed, continuing to march ahead. "If you knew any croquet etiquette, you'd know it's improper to hit your opponent's ball out of bounds like that." "Heh, well I'm happy to report that I haven't wasted any of my time learning such dull, arbitrary rules to the world's most boring game ever. I have more important calls on my time." "You'd better not try to sound all high and mighty and say "reading books" or "going to museums"," he hissed back, and I didn't bother hiding my fully amused, saucy grin. "Fine, then I won't tell you," was my response, making him huff loudly again. "You're impossible." "You're impossible! You're the one who keeps bossing me around." "That's because, as you so eloquently put it before, I'm both good at it and like doing it. Some of us were meant to lead, Kate," he said with an air of superiority, and I rolled my eyes. "Uh huh, sure." "Well some of us also have too many responsibilities to waste their days going around in museums," he snapped back, and I glanced to the back of his head ponderingly…. My fingers gripped my mallet tighter as my head tilted downwards slightly.
"Speaking of museums… Thank you for the bathhouse tickets," I hadn't thanked him properly. Anthony's feet froze momentarily here as he peered back at me from over his shoulder. He seemed unsure of what to say next but thought of something pretty quick. His eyes wandered out a tad awkwardly. "No need to thank me. I thought one of us might at least enjoy ourselves while we're here," I don't think he realized what he'd just said. My eyes began to widen a little in astonishment.
"You want me to enjoy myself here in Bath?" "What kind of question is that?!" He fired back, but immediately froze when he saw the expression on my face. The confused, soft expression….. My lips rested a second, only parting after I had time to digest what he'd just told me. This man… This confusing, confusing man.
A pregnant pause fell between us as neither of us dared to move a muscle. "B-But I thought you said that my happiness wasn't a concern for you…..?" His eyes grew huge as his back instantly stiffened up. "It's not! Don't be absurd! Why would it be? You were right before; my sole attention should be showered onto your sister…. E-Edwina," his voice caught in his throat just then. I looked at him a moment, feeling this weird, warm tingling radiating all throughout my chest all of a sudden. "In that case, why did you bother remembering that I liked the bathhouse here so much? I didn't even tell you that….."
His hands balled into clenched fists, his gaze looking every which way back at me presently. "I-It wasn't intentional, I assure you! It was just an accident. Look, let's just find those balls and get back to the others," he started moving forward again, leaving me standing there speechless for a minute. It took me a second, but I was finally going up after him, this weird burning sensation in my chest making it hard to breathe. What's wrong with me? Why do I feel all light-headed and…. spirited suddenly? This was a good feeling; the kind I got when I remembered something good, like spending time with Daddy before he died or walking through the streets of Paris or Vienna. Yes, I knew this feeling very well….. and no idea why I was experiencing here of all places or times.
Anthony reached the edge of the hill, the section which ended in a drop to a muddy ditch. Imagine both our contentions to find both our balls down there in the dirt, laying side by side. He stopped at the rim, and I joined his side gazing down. Anthony frowned and I peered at him not sure what to do from here.
"Great," he threw up his arms in frustration. "Are you going to go down and get them?" I inquired, only to earn a glare. "I'm not ruining my shoes to fetch two croquet balls. I'll have someone fish them out. Come on," and he began trekking back up. My eyes rolled from him back down onto the balls. It seemed like a waste to send somebody to come all the way down here and get them, plus I didn't like the idea of using servants like that. Anthony only paused once he noticed that I was not following him, and blinked back to see my laying down on my stomach on the grass with one arm extended downwards to reach for his ball.
His eyes immediately widened in concern and annoyance. "What are you doing?" He sounded exhasperated. "I'm trying to reach them…" I groaned, extending my arm out even further. In reality it was a pipe dream that I'd actually get them; the drop was like five feet down, but I had to try. Anthony rolled his eyes completely unimpressed. "I told you, we have people for that. Now come on and get up before you hurt yourself," he started walking towards me. Ignoring him, my eyes shut as I gave one last attempt to grab one. They shot opened again however when I felt my whole body begin to slip.
Instinct took over and both arms flew up to protect my head as I rolled down the slope straight into the mud on the ground some feet beneath the edge. "Kate!" Anthony's cry could be heard for miles. I scarcely had time to open my eyes back up before he practically leapt down into the dirt beside me. "Kate! Kate, are you ok?!"
There it was again, that panic in his tone I'd heard before. It was the same panic from when I crashed my bike the first day we met. His eyes were wild, as were his animated gestures. His face had this look of sheer terror and helplessness- the exact opposite of what he usually looked it. Anthony didn't hesitate to come kneel very close to me, practically towering over me with his form. Not in a bad way, though! I actually felt rather comforted just then…. by his presence.
"Are you hurt?! Your ankles, are they broken?!" "N-No, I don't think so," I moaned slightly, not bothering to sit up. My body did ache all over, but nothing felt broken- only bruised. Anthony's attention then turned to my twisted legs, which looked worse than they were. His hands shot down to where my feet were. "Are you sure?! Allow to ascertain if there's any fractures in your knees!"
Before I could say anything, my eyes widened as I suddenly felt both his hands gently touch my right ankle. He was so careful, so meticulous, ever so tenderly pressing against the skin while inspecting it with such intensity. As he did that I studied his face again. It was the exact same face as before….. when I crashed my bike. Anthony was feeling genuine, real fear, despite the situation not calling for such an intense response. Still…
My cheeks, neck, forehead, and ears all blushed as he continued his inspection, moving onto my left ankle. Anthony could be so attentive, so kind when he wanted to be… or when he was in a panic like this. I reiterated what I thought before; he does not do well in dangerous situations, even if they're only minorly dangerous. And yet he's so gentle, so aware….. Gentle hands, my cheeks sizzled even redder.
He has gentle hands.
Once he was absolutely sure that nothing was broken, he let out a strong, relieved sigh. A real, soulful sigh…. You can't fake sighs like that. His head spun back in my direction and he gave me a sincere smile; again, not a smirk- a smile. "You're alright…" He breathed and my head slowly nodded. I half-expected him to start yelling at me or scolding me for trying to get the balls on my own, but he didn't. In fact, he didn't stop smiling- not once. Still, I felt the need to apologize for causing him such worry… My lips opened a tad timidly and remorsefully.
"I-I'm sorry, Anthony. I-I didn't mean to fall down here." "Stop it! Don't apologize," his voice rose a little, though not in an angry way. More like he was just so relieved that I was ok and didn't have a bad thought in his head just then….. I know that sounds totally crazy, especially considering it was just a small tumble, but he was really, really worried back there. We stared at one another a second before he scooted forward.
Before I knew what he was doing, both his arms slid underneath me. My jaw dropped open as he proceeded to lift me up off the ground princess-style. Showing no exert of physical effort, Anthony plucked me up like I was a weightless, little bird, holding me very, very close to his chest. It was warm, just like mine….
We kept on staring into each other's eyes wordlessly. He cradled me there in his arms, standing up straight now; it was like something out of a movie. Seriously, this was probably the most magical moment of my life. I'd never felt so small, so safe, so protected…
So precious.
I could have stayed like that all day, it was THAT glorious. Judging by the look on Anthony's face currently, he doesn't seem like he would have minded it himself either. But alas, the logical part of my brain had to kick in a little too soon, and I blinked back to reality, flinching slightly in his arms. My mouth meekly trembled open, though every other bone in my body, every fibre in my being was screaming at me to keep quiet. My lips parted a sliver….. "I-It's ok. I can walk…." I squeaked out against my better judgment.
Anthony didn't respond- at least verbally anyway. He just continued to stare at my face simply, easily, painlessly, naturally, hopefully, hopelessly….. His lips were firmly pressed together and he wore an expression I'd never seen from him before. Pure bliss….. with just the faintest hint of regret and desire. The longer we looked into the other's eyes, the calmer my heartbeat got. My eyes softened ever so gently, affectionately… From the deep recesses of my mind- or maybe heart- I could music start to play again, just like when I first say Anthony. My arms wrapped the back of his neck as our heads drifted steadily closer on their own accords. They moved just an inch, but that inch meant everything. That inch changed everything. There we were, pressing up against each other as close as we could with his arms under me and mine clasped tight around his neck. And our eyes never left each other- not once. I looked at him, and the music inside me played louder and louder. I could have stayed like this for the rest of my life, it felt so natural, relaxing, and wonderful…. Or at least until my sister's and Eloise's voices echoed down the hill, causing Anthony to almost accidently drop me in shock.
"What's taking you two so long?!"
