"Let her leave! I don't care if the pain blinds me.
I'll never be the cause of so much grief that she is unable to see…..
Her sight will remain intact, so at least one of us will be alright.
So in a way, I'll still see too….. She'll see the future for both of us."
We came in through the front doors together, our cold drinks in hand. Daphne had an iced tea and I had a raspberry lemonade. The mood had been a bit low since the bathhouse, but calm- if that makes sense. It way like there was a new understanding, a new camaraderie between the two of us. I'd only known Daphne for a couple of days now, but we already had this closeness steadily growing. She was easy to spend time with, to be around….. like her brother.
The house was quiet inside for the most part. Edwina was off somewhere with Eloise and the two second eldest Bridgertons. The youngest Bridgertons were off doing their own thing, leaving only Anthony and Violet unaccounted for. We soon figured out what they've been up to though once we crossed the front door's threshold. Not a minute later had we been indoors before Violet suddenly came tearing down one of the hallways out into the foyer, presumably unaware at our arrival. Her hands were clenched into fists and her cheeks were tearstained. She'd obviously just been crying.
The Bridgerton matriarch froze once she realized we were standing there, gawking at her in alarm for a stunned instant. Daphne and I immediately sprang into action, concerned for the older woman. "Mom, are you alright?!" Daphne ran up to her side in a panic. Violet blinked at us, startled a moment before forcing a false grin and hastily wiping her eyes.
"Oh, hello girls. I didn't hear you come in. Did you have a good time at the Roman baths?" Her tone still sounded distressed. Daphne put her hand on her mother's back, ignoring her question. "What happened? Are you ok? Why were you crying?" She answered in rapid succession. Violet looked at her daughter, somewhat pleadingly; probably hoping this situation would go away and we wouldn't ask again.
"What ever do you mean, dear? I-I'm fine…" "You don't sound fine. You've were clearing crying a moment ago. Come on, Mom; what's wrong? Tell me what's happened. We can go somewhere more private if you want," wow, I was impressed with Daphne's overtaking the scene so dominantly yet caringly. She was a mom herself, I had to remember. She had this air of maternally organization about her; she conducted herself well in cases of concern. Heh, the total opposite of her brother ironically.
Violet wiped the corners of her eyes again, giving us another fake smile in one last attempt to save face. "I'm fine, dear; really. N-nothing's wrong." "Mom," Daphne's eyebrow raised expectedly as her hand stayed glued to her. Eventually Violet sighed, seeing that her daughter wouldn't let up on the issue. Her gaze drifted downwards and her shoulders visibly lowered. "It's nothing… Anthony and I just had a little….. spat. That's all."
Daphne's eyes widened in a mixture of annoyance, shock, anger, disappointment, and unsurprise. She appeared to be both surprised and not at the same time, if that were possible. Her head viciously turned down the hall her mother had just come from. "Anthony?! You mean to say you guys had a fight?! And on our vacation, no less?!" "Please, dear. Don't confront him; he's still in a bit of a state himself," Violet begged but Daphne soon began to stomp down the hallway with her arms stiff as boards at her sides. "Oh, I'll confront him alright. He's being a total idiot, and I've had it up to HERE with his nonsense! I'll go tell him a thing or two." "Wait, Daphne, please! You'll only make it worse!" Violet cried out for her, but it was too late; Daphne had made her mind to go and was already out of earshot.
I stood there, admittedly feeling really uncomfortable now, with my melting drink still clutched in my hand. Violet sighed again, spinning her head straight forward, which wasn't at me- thank god. "I shouldn't have said anything. This is something Anthony needs to work out himself…" I think she was saying this more to herself than me. I doubt she was talking to me in that instant.
My back did arch slightly when her head gently turned my way. I didn't react but remain there motionless with a somewhere half-neutral, half-sympathetic expression. She looked at me, letting herself sadly smile- a real grin this time, though it was tainted with an abundance of pain and remorse.
"Ah, I'm sorry about all that, Miss Sharma. You shouldn't have to hear all that on your vacation." My eyes grew as I flinched, suddenly a tad more embarrassed. "I-It's no problem! N-Not at all! Every family has their drama… Mine's no different," heh, literally. Her stare lingered on me, her torse twisting so to face mine more. "Your patience with my children is greatly appreciated. I know we can be a chaotic bunch…." "So can me and my sister, I'm sure. I don't mind the chaos though- it keeps things from getting too dull," I cracked a grin and she smiled. "That's one way to think about it…."
A pause slipped between us as I peered awkwardly down at my warming drink. The condensation from the ice melting was wetting my hand. My fingers moved around a little and I smiled truthfully to myself, lowering my eyes.
"Heh, this is my first time staying with a "mom" since my own mom passed away. Edwina and I don't have any aunts, and both our grandmothers died before we were born. It's weird…... being around a proper family again. It's kinda nice… being here with all you guys," my gaze drew up in her direction. Violet met my stare head on, relaxing her body language gradually.
"It must have been so hard on you when your mother passed away…" I shrugged nonchalantly. "I didn't really know her. Edwina and I were raised exclusively by our dad. It was horrendous when he died. It felt like the earth shattered beneath our feet….. and I had no idea how to pick up the pieces." Violet nodded in understanding. "I know what you mean. I felt that way when Edmund died. He was so young….. and our eighth child was on her way," her eyes fell down again as her sentence lingered on her lips for a moment. I waited for her to go on, sensing that she had more to say. "I so wish she could have met him….." She finally got out, looking like she was about to burst into another flood of tears.
I didn't reply, at least not verbally. I set my drink down on the top of a nearby banister and walked over to Violet. I offered her the napkin I'd been holding in my other hand this whole time; one I took from the café. She flashed me a grateful grin, taking it to dab the corners of her eyes. "Thank you." Another silence fell between us as I remained there at her side, patient for her to speak again when she was ready, whenever that might be. After a minute she sighed heavily, lifting her head up a little and lowering her hands down a way from her face.
"What am I going to do with him? I've messed it all up before….. And now he's paying the price," again, she said this to herself rather than me. I assumed she meant Anthony but knew better than to ask. I simply peered off forward to the floor in front of us, inhaling deeply myself. "Daphne said at the bathhouse that we're all a little broken. I think she's right. It's so hard to reach adulthood without at least a little trauma, and that manifests itself in different ways. For me, it's a complete rejection of romantic relationships," I admitted my fault freely. This caused Violet to blink at me both astonished and alarmed. "What? Really?! You too?" You too? What did she mean by that? But I chose to ignore this weird comment, nodding wholeheartedly in affirmation of my previous declaration.
"I never want to be in the situation my parents were in, and I kinda promised my dad I'd focus on school and my career. He taught me to focus on the aspects of my life I could control," and you can't control what your partner does, or will do in the future. "So you never want to get married?" Violet asked, still aghast. I shook my head resolutely. "No. Most marriages end in divorce, and I'm not so egoistical to think that my marriage would be any different. There's nothing special about me that would set my relationship apart or make us the exception. It's not worth the risk, with those facts in mind…" I gave her a sad grin, which she did not return.
Violet didn't utter a word right away, but instead elected to merely look at me. Her expression just then was so hard to read, but eventually she smiled- a true, sincere smile. I flinched in surprise when she tenderly placed her hand on my back, like Daphne had done to her before. "Well, at least you're not vain," she said and I laughed. "I hope not. No, I'm just like every other girl, which I'm perfectly fine with. Your daughters are lovely, and I feel privileged to be compared to them if I am," and her smile expanded, reaching all the way up to her eyes for once. Her hand rubbed my back in this circular motion, which was actually really comforting. We mirrored each other's soft faces just then, letting ourselves completely relax our postures.
"You know, I like you, Kate. You and your sister are welcome here anytime." "Oh, thank you, but I don't want to take advantage of your hospitality, especially if you're having a bit of a family crisis right now. I don't know what I can do to help, if anything, but I'll do whatever I can to make the situation easier for you." Her eyes glistened onto me intently as her hand pressed into the centre of my back for a second. Her lips parted an affectionate sliver. "There's nothing you need to do; you need not concern yourself with any of this. But I must say…
I see now why my children are so enamoured with you."
