The ugliness of being a fool

Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?


Chapter 26

Teen Idle #2

She tosses a few pebbles into the shallow creek, the small splashes giving her just a little bit of nostalgic joy for the moment. Taking a deep yet empty breath, she brushes the blue hair out of her face and lies down on her back, staring up at the sky above. She's been thinking a lot lately… a lot more than usual ever since she and her sisters were on that silly little vacation of theirs with their mother. The funny thing is she can't really tell where or what she's been thinking about; her mind's just been running, spinning like crazy and forcing her to tag along or she'll be left behind.

May and Lee were way too busy arguing and fighting with each other for them to notice her in the background, something she's always found herself abusing to some extent. She's been abusing that fact a lot more ever since they got caught by Edd's sister after kidnapping the Eds. Sneaking out to sit by the creek and just do nothing, think and sometimes just breathe. Her mind refuses to leave her alone, to grant her any peace or harmony of any kind. Sometimes it makes her question her own sanity, other times if she really wants to be seen as another "crazy Kanker sister". Sometimes it makes her wish she wasn't alive…

The sunlight shines brightly into the water, its reflection reminding her of glitter, something she was obsessed with when she was younger. She's not sure why but for some reason she just found that glitter somehow made things a little better than they actually were. It even reached the point where she thought it was able to make her better, but it never worked. It just caused her to throw up.

A shadow moves in the corner of her eye, just barely outside of her vision. She turns quickly, freezes a little when she notices the red hair but calms down again when she sees that it isn't Lee. It's Kevin. He appears to be in a hurry, running towards the junkyard. A snicker escapes her when she sees how fast he runs. It seems like she isn't the only one with something on her mind, though his issue must be very urgent if he runs like that. She looks back at the waters for a few seconds before she stands up and runs after the ginger boy, her curiosity taking over; her mind desperately reaching for something to distract itself with. So she follows him all the way to the junkyard, a strong need for attention controlling her steps. Any attention will do, even if it's the kind that makes her question herself again. She makes sure to keep a good amount of distance between them, lowering the risk of being noticed by him or by whoever/whatever he's looking for.

They eventually stop running like headless hen, and soon she finds out what he was looking for, or rather who; Edd. She frowns softly at this, knowing very well what an eye for details her… supposed boyfriend has. Hiding behind piles of old and broken stuff, furniture, she does what she can to stay quiet and still able to hear what they're saying.

"Salutations Kevin." She hears Edd say. "What brings you here, if you don't mind me asking?" There's an unusual… unnatural cold tone in his voice as he speaks. She doesn't like it. She doesn't like the look on his face.

Kevin appears to be unsure what to do, a hint of fear painted on his face. He's afraid of Double-D? He straightens himself after a second or two, a meaner look forming on his face. Is it real though? "We're not done talking!" He says. "I thought that would be obvious to you, dork."

The comment makes Marie frown, Edd as well, though he doesn't say anything in return. Instead he just takes a deep breath and puts his hands in his pants pockets, his expression calming down a little. "I am aware of that Kevin." He speaks calmly, but the cold tone is still ever so present in his voice. "Why? Did you think that I ran away, hoping to avoid you?"

"Not necessarily. But who's stopping you from using dork and dorkier as an excuse to get away?" Kevin says, putting his own hands into his pants pockets, as if he's mirroring Edd's behavior, matching his level.

"Get away?" Edd asks. "Why, you almost make me sound like a criminal. That's kind of rude, don't you think?"

"Well, I mean, last time I checked it's kind of not really legal to be in love with your own sister, so…" Ending his statement with a typical bully-ish 'heh', Kevin moves his hands to sit on his hips, standing proudly in front of Edd, as if he's finally got him backed into a corner of no return. Marie can barely think anymore, Kevin's words echoing in her mind faster, louder, than any other thought ever has. It… she can't make sense out of what he just said. That girl, Mel… she remembers how she described them as brother and sister, not… not like girlfriend or boyfriend. Did she lie? No… then why would Kevin use the same preference about them? 'Your own sister'. "Or, well, sister and sister… your own stepsister. I know that you're not technically related, so that if your parents got a divorce you wouldn't be seen as siblings anymore, but-"

"I'm not in love with her."

There's a moment of silence between the two boys, silence from where Marie is hiding, holding her breath. She tries her best to remember to blink as well as breathe, but with how quiet her mind suddenly went, how numb it suddenly became, she's having a hard time focusing at anything at all. A couple of deep breaths usually clears her mind, but how is she supposed to do just that when she doesn't remember how to?

"What?!" Kevin's voice suddenly sounds amongst the wasteland of garbage, drawing attention from those who wanders it. He rushes up towards the dork, everything he had planned to say thrown out the window, all whilst Edd merely looks at him. "What did you just say?"

Silent for a moment, Edd reads in the expression on the kid in front of him. "I'm not in love with Mel."

Kevin stares blankly at him for a moment. "THEN WHY DID YOU MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT?!" He shouts loudly in Edd's face, wind blowing hard as he does. He breathes heavily, mind running at five thousand miles an hour.

Edd raises an eyebrow at him. "Make a big deal out of it?" He asks. "I'm sorry Kevin, but I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean."

"What do you mean?!" Kevin nearly explodes in his face, his head turning a worryingly shade of red. "You were so secretive and mad at me for reading about it all in your diary or whatever! You looked like you were about to rip my face off!"

Watching as the other breathes incredibly heavy in his face, Edd takes a moment to mourn Kevin's level of intelligence (quietly without the other knowing of course). Collecting his thoughts the best he can, especially as he knows his friends are surely on their way, more than likely wondering what all the noise is about. He then tries his best to talk to Kevin. "Kevin…" He starts. "My reaction, the one you're referring to, was towards the fact that I caught you, not just taking something very personally of mine without asking for my permission first, but also attempting to put it back without having me know about it or even notice something was amiss." Staring the redhead down, he takes a breath before he continues. "As to what you read, all the things I wrote down about my emotions towards Mel and such, I can already tell you that you've had your questions answered, unless you forgot what you read that is."

"Uhh…" Kevin remains silent, listening to the dork trying to tell him what's going on. Though the dork doesn't sigh aloud at his "response" he can still see it in his eyes; Edd is fed up with him.

Edd shakes his head at the whole situation. "The last thing I wrote in my journal was how I was starting to doubt that the emotions I had towards Mel was in fact an actual crush, or love."

"Oh, yeah… I remember reading something like that near the end."

"Not near the end, it was the end, and still currently is." Edd corrects him. "Anyway, Kevin… did you notice when I wrote that?" If Kevin's nervous tick with scratching the back of his head is anything to go by, then Edd only needs one glance to understand that the ginger didn't notice. "I wrote it a week ago, one week after the Kankers kidnapped us and the emotions started." Noting how Kevin doesn't get where he's going with this he continues. "One week; that how soon after I started to doubt the feelings were romantic, and after that I've found that my doubts were in fact correct. I am not in love with Mel. I am not in love with my sister, you pervert."

"Hey! You're the one who started with the emotions to begin with! Not me!"

"Oh, please. As if I ever would've allowed myself to act based upon them. She's my sister for crying out loud!"

"Okay, fine. Whatever." Kevin mutters. "Then what did you feel then, huh?"

Edd takes a moment to answer, thinking it through thoroughly. "A mixture." He says. "A mixture of being amazed how much Mel cared about not just me and my wellbeing, but also how she respected my wish of… of her not fighting anyone if we did get in trouble again. No matter how many punches Marie threw at her, Mel never returned any of them. Mixed with the fact that she didn't make fun of any of us, like so many usually do when we do end up in trouble like that… mixed with how freeing it felt to finally be able to feel safe at home again... I don't tip on my toes anymore, or feel an unexplained amount of fear-mixed rage." Taking a moment to reminisce on the facts he's just stated, thinking about them deeper once more… "All of those things build up a worry knot in my stomach. I've had those knots in my stomach before, but never like this. It… it felt different when it finally withered away, and I misunderstood."

Marie feels her heart ache at the words. After all the things she and her sisters have done to him and his friends, he still didn't want any of them to get hurt; hurt by his sister, nonetheless.

"It felt so freeing… not having to protect others from her, but being able to trust her to protect us." His words are no longer cold, she's noticed. "She's always wanted to do that, she says."

"Huh…" Kevin lets out a breath, about to say something, but he doesn't know what to say. "I eh… I didn't… I never thought-"

"HEY!" Another voice cuts through the air, silencing the others instantly. "What're you doing to Double-D?!"

Marie rolls her eyes as Eddy rushes in between them, sizing up Kevin as if he's able to take him on. Ed is not far behind, rushing up to his smart friend to save him from the dangerous Kevin. As the chaos only unfolds more and more, Marie decides that it's time to leave. Having taken all of the words Double-D said to heart, she finds herself yet again in deep thought as she makes her way back home. She's always known that Edd is more of a pacifist, that's part of what made it so funny to scare him all the time, but given the current situation…

Her sisters are still fighting when she comes back home; they haven't noticed her absence at all. They're too busy fighting, too busy being loud. Too busy being Kankers.


"Hello? Vincent residence here." Mel answers the phone, only to find she wishes she never had to begin with. "Oh… hi dad." She says. "What do you want?" Paying so-so attention to what he has to say, it becomes clear to her that whatever he wants it has to be something important, given how he stammers and tries to sound absolutely helpless and innocent. And then he spills the T. "Ooohh! She got herself pregnant, huh? Man, the power of women nowadays, am I right?" Spewing as much sarcasm into her words, it doesn't take him long to drop the act of someone who's helpless and innocent in the matter. "Well, what do you want me to do about it? It's not my fault that this happened, y'know." His choice of words to throw the blame away from himself makes her see red. "Don't you dare…!" She growls at him. He cries… like he always does when he doesn't have any other card left to play. She listens to his pleas, makes up a plan in her heart – makes her heart hardened so that she can actually see it through.

She hangs up the phone in silence, her anger begging her to let it out. She refuses. Falling to the wall and sliding down to the floor, she can feel the strength in her leaving her, abandoning her to deal with life by herself. Good luck. A sound draws her attention towards the front door. The boys are back from their morning adventure.


Song: Teen Idle – MARINA – but she also goes by "Marina and the diamonds" sometimes. I think.

He was never in love with his sister. I planned to use it as a reason to torture Mel's little mind, but then I suddenly remembered a show that will provide me with everything I need to cause her endless pain, not just temporarily; BoJack Horseman. If you haven't heard of this show before just look it up on youtube.

And thus, the whole thing with Edd's mysterious emotions (massive worry knot) instead becomes something that Mel never knows about… but something that Marie will always remember.

With this chapter I wish you a good day and a good life.

Times arrow neither stands still nor reverses after all.