I wanna become what I'll never become
But I know I'll stay here
Chapter 27
Doubt
The sun rises on a gloomy Monday morning, the start of another school week. Temperatures have dropped rather vastly on a very short amount of time, forcing everyone to accept the fact that summer is yet again another year away. (Author's Note: I actually don't remember what season I made it. Last time I mentioned the weather I said it was cold, I think, and thus I hereby say it is autumn. Now I may write in peace again.) Holding the wardrobe door open, Edd lets out a sigh as he looks at the content it holds. Two pieces of garment capture his gaze; his two jackets, the one for autumn with a soft dark beige coloring, and the big bright orange one for the winter days. He stands there and merely stares at them for… I don't know how long. The clock is ticking in the background, gathering dust by each second as he merely stands there and does nothing. He can hear Mel walk around downstairs, getting herself ready and prepared for school. It's the first time she's ahead of him, getting ready for school like this.
Reaching in and pulling the bright orange jacket out of the wardrobe, Edd makes sure to take a good look at this… thing. Goodness, it's absolutely hideous, isn't it? True that it's been able to keep him somewhat warm during the colder seasons, but it also made him look ridiculous while wearing it. Thinking back to the day his parents bought it for him, a gift for him, to keep him warm and thus make sure he wouldn't catch a cold as easily and miss out on school… even then he thought it was a bit ugly, though he did appreciate the act of what he then saw as kindness, giving him something that would help him keep up with his picture perfect attendance record. Now however… he's not sure what to think of it, what to think of the motive his parents may or may not have had at the moment of time. All he can currently think is the same as everyone else thinks about it; god, what an ugly jacket! Why in the world has no one ever told him that before? Why was he forced to figure this out on his own? Who knows how many people have been talking about it behind his back without him knowing it? Well… at least there's no need to wear it right now.
Dropping the jacket on the floor, kicking it away with his foot, he turns back towards the wardrobe and reaches for his autumn jacket. Throwing it on, he quickly checks himself in the mirror, making sure nothing seems amiss with this old jacket. He actually doesn't remember when he got this jacket – he does think it was another gift though. The worn elbows have been patched up with newer, stronger fabric, something his grandmother had done for him before she passed. He misses her.
Suddenly something hurts. He flinches at the pain that feel like something just bit him on his back, or maybe it's just the old jacket getting a bit too old to be comfortable to wear. Reaching around his back, he carefully scratches and massages the area. He can't feel anything else there, it was just a sudden little sting that hurt terribly and now it's all good again. Or… good and good, the area is getting a little warm to the touch, but that could just be due to the body pushing red blood cells to the area to handle the potential threat that occurred. A small light bulb suddenly lights up above his head. It could be mite, mite looking for someplace warm to camp out during the cold. He takes off the jacket and inspects it before giving it a harsh shake or two and inspects it again. He can't see anything, but that's sort of to be expected. He sighs and frowns; he has an allergy against mite, but fortunately it's not a fatal one so… theoretically he should be just fine wearing this jacket for a day or so – just until they can get him a new one or just throw this one into the washing machine. That should get rid of mites, right? A knock on the door catches his mind's focus, drawing his attention back to here and now. He already knows its Mel on the other side of the door; it doesn't surprise him to see her open the door to check on him. What does surprise him is the outfit she's decided to wear for the day.
"Hey Edd. You getting ready?" She says, talking to deaf ears.
Unable to hear her speaking to him, Edd eyes carefully the wardrobe choice his sister has made for the day; a red unbuttoned plaid shirt with a black tank top underneath and a black leather jacket, followed by black jeans and a pair of ankle-high laced boots. His breath is stuck in his throat, his body feeling an unease he wasn't expecting for today. Soon enough he notice her expression; concern written all over her face as she looks at him.
"Are you okay?" She asks.
"Hm..? Y-yes! Of course!" He answers, trying to rid his mind of the memories of that night, even if they are quite fuzzy. "Why wouldn't I be?"
She raises an eyebrow at his question as if she checks him, pointing out an unspoken answer to his question, an answer she almost dares him to hear and listen to; you really want me to answer that question? It grows quiet between them after that.
"Anyway…" Mel kills the silence. "…you ready?"
"…ready for what?" Edd asks; his mind slightly empty at the moment, something that does not go unnoticed.
Both eyebrows raised and concern intensified, Mel just stares at him. "School." She says.
"Oh!" Now he's with her again. "Of course! I just need to put on this jacket." He chippers and throws on the jacket again, buttons it and gives her a great smile. "Ready."
She just looks at him. "…right…" She says, getting out of the way to let him pass her through the door before walking with him down the stairs. Once they've reached the front door she can't help herself. "You'll… you will tell me if there's anything wrong, right?"
The day goes well, nothing horrible happens and nothing goes wrong. Kevin gave him a slight nod in the hallway, a form of greeting amongst the more popular kids he presumes, followed by Eddy darting down the hallway after him, attempting to shoo him away. Fortunately nothing happened. Ed remained by his side the whole time, almost as if he was standing guard while Eddy dealt with the redheaded fiend.
All in all, it was a very calm and well-going day. The only weird thing that he can remember was when they saw the Kanker sisters in the lunchroom, sitting by a table; something seemed to be off about them, or rather with Marie. She was looking at him but didn't make any fuss about it, nothing to alert her sister of their presence. He wasn't given much time to think and ponder on it as his friends fled the scene with him on tow once Lee and May eventually spotted them. Strange behavior, for a Kanker.
Scratching the back of his neck, a new area where the potential mite has found and reminded him of their presence, he walks down the cul-de-sac with Eddy and Ed, walking home after another day at school. They don't seem too bothered with his itchiness, seeming how they themselves appear to be experiencing something similar and seem rather eager to return home so they can rid themselves of their respective torture garments. He can understand that.
The next day at school appear to be very similar to the day before; calm, nothing that goes wrong, Kevin giving him a quick nod whenever they walk past each other, Marie acting weird. All in all, the only thing that seems to be somewhat different with the day would be the itchiness. It's gotten somewhat worse than it was the day before, which could be due to the fact that Mel didn't have time to do the laundry and thus he's forced to walk another day with the jacket on as he's "forgotten" to mention the mite situation to his sister. He did try and leave it out in the cold for a few hours, but it doesn't seem to have done much to improve the situation.
The third day… the third day does not go so well.
Wednesday morning, her alarm is blaring in the room, just barely enough to wake her up. A kicked in door soon follows as her tired, fuzzy mind still has yet to turn said alarm off, the heavy footsteps of her sister marching through her room pounding in her head, not helping at all. Soon enough she can hear a slam and the alarm stops instantly.
"Get your lazy butt out of bed! You're late for breakfast!" Lee orders her before she marches out of her room again. A loud groan escapes her but she doesn't care, she just does what her older sister told her to do.
Kicking her blanket off of her, throwing her legs over the edge of the bed, yawning loudly for her sisters to hear that she's on her way up – Marie Kanker eventually leaves her bedroom, tired, but still ready to face the day. May is already sitting by the dinner table, ready as she can be. She turns around in her seat when Marie walks through the doorway and into the kitchen. She says something to her, that big foolish-looking smile on her face, but she can't hear her. Not right now. Mornings have never been Marie's strong suit, or whatever that saying is supposed to mean. She doesn't know – she's practically still asleep.
"Eat up!" Lee's voice reaches her, and she opens her eyes to find that a plate of some bacon and egg-mushiness in front of her. "Don't take too long! We don't wanna be late for school, do we?"
"Are we in trouble again?" May asks, munching away on her own breakfast plate whereas Marie barely pokes hers. Lee glances at her slightly, but none can tell due to her hair. She doesn't know what's wrong with her sister, but she knows what should cheer her right up again.
"We're always in trouble, stupid! We're gonna get detention if we're late again." She tells May in a harsh voice, and then she grins. "And our men might be missing us if we take too long."
A shiver runs down Marie's spine. May however is cheering for the reminder of her dear Ed, while Lee is daydreaming about Eddy. Both of them hurry with their breakfasts, leaving Marie behind in the dust as they literally run out from the kitchen to get their stuff ready to go. Glancing back at them, watching them fight each other for some useless piece of garbage they seem fit for a gift to their respective "man", Marie sighs and finishes her plate before walking out from the kitchen herself. They're still fighting as she walks into her room to change; they're still fighting when she walks out from her bedroom and goes to put her shoes on. Shoes on, she turns around to look at them… still fighting. The seconds tick by and after a moment she loses her patience with them.
"Are you guys gonna get ready or what?!" She snaps at them, hands on her hips. "We're gonna miss the bus at this rate!" The fight between her sisters pause and they both look at her, a hint of surprise in their eyes as they realize their sister actually got ready for school on time and is now waiting on them. Seeing their confused faces stare at her, Marie growls in frustration. "Well I'm done and I'm going! I'll see you at school." With that she walks out the front door, slamming it behind her as she leaves. Lee and May remain paused in motion, not sure what to do.
"Well gee, what's wrong with her?" May says aloud, though she's not really asking anyone particularly.
Lee remains quiet for a moment. "She must be tired of not seeing her man for a while." She says. "Guess that means we should get ready too. The quicker we get done the sooner we'll be able to find my dreamboat."
"And my big Ed~." May daydreams with a sigh, and soon enough the two Kanker sisters hurry to get themselves ready for school whiles the third sister is already on her way there.
She walks down the gravel road that leads to the trailer park, cuts through a small patch of the forest that surround the entire neighborhood, and connects with the qul-de-sac where the bus stop is. Everything is silent around her as she walks, the only thing she can really hear is the sound of the gravel crunching underneath her feet, sometimes a twig or two. She takes a couple of deep breaths as she walks, trying to clear her head as she realizes this is the first time she's going to the school bus without any of her sisters, all alone. It wouldn't really be this bad if it wasn't for the surprised looks on the other kids' faces when they see her walking alone towards them. Not only that, but she's also not showing any sign that she wishes to start something with someone for absolutely no reason. It must be surprising for them. It is for her too, but she doesn't really have the energy to deal with that right now. She just walks up to the bus stop and stands there next to the group of kids, quietly, gaze focused on the ground. She can hear them whispering…
The bus shows up a few minutes late, to most of the kids' disappointment. As it pulls up and opens the doors for them, Marie lifts her gaze and looks back towards the gravel road, where she came from. There's no sign of her sisters. Guess they'll be late again after all. A sigh escapes her and a burning feeling in her stomach starts to take hold. She's never ridden the bus without her sisters before. She's never been to school without her sisters before… she's never… she's never been to any of the classes alone before…
It's her turn to get on the bus. Her legs feel weak as she moves them, as if they're about to give in for being too weak to carry her own weight, and yet she still manage. Climbing up the steps, she starts walking down the bus to where she and her sisters usually sit (whenever they manage to catch the bus that is, which isn't often enough for them to actually "claim" those seats as their own), eyes following her every move as she goes. Sitting down she takes a deep breath, leaning against the window and just allowing herself to stare out into the nothingness. Her legs still feel a bit funny, but her mind is slowly starting to calm down for a moment, the fact that she's made it this far and is now sitting on the bus filling her with something of a confident feeling. How long will it last, I wonder? Closing her eyes, she even dares to allow herself to rest a bit. She doesn't even notice when the Eds get on the bus, much to their surprise and relief.
Edd is being shoved into his seat on the bus; Eddy has detected that the solo Kanker is indeed Double-D's Kanker and thus he must be protected at all costs. Though he might find their actions a bit silly at the time, he does appreciate the fact that they're doing what they can to keep him safe. Scratching the back of his neck as he throws a glance towards Marie, he can't help but wonder why she's decided to ride the school bus all by herself. Is she in a fight with her sisters? Or did they simply miss the bus whereas she didn't?
Noting that she's closed her eyes and is currently resting, Eddy and Ed both calm down a bit, though they still keep an eye on her. Edd is not feeling too well today – something they noticed the moment he walked out the door – but being the way he is, staying home is not an option.
Sitting down properly in his seat, Eddy glances to his side to see how his friend is doing. "You okay Double-D?" He asks quietly, not wanting to risk waking the sleeping Kanker and have her take advantage of Edd's current state.
"I'm fine Eddy. Just a little bit tired." He answers, fixating his gaze out the window, away from his friends. He's never hoped for a day to end soon like this before.
The bus ride is unusual slow and tedious – or maybe that's just him? By the time they finally arrive at school he can feel how his skin feels like its on fire yet freezing at the same time. It's a rather bizarre feeling, one that he can't find himself getting comfortable with any time soon. It makes it hard for his body to know whether to sweat or not. Attempting to brush it off as a rare symptom of the common cold or the flu, he stands up straight as he gets off the bus and walks towards the building with confident – shaky – steps.
Opening the doors and letting himself in, the first thing he notice is how everything echoes. People talking, walking, laughing, moving things, opening lockers, dropping stuff, pushing others, sneakers squeaking – Echo! His head feels light yet full and ready to explode, but no headache. It feels more like his brain is covered in a layer of dry, frizzy cotton, and it really makes it hard for him to think clearly… clear… whichever. Blinking a few times to try and clear his mind a little, he starts walking, attempting to act normal, when Eddy puts his hand on his shoulder, about to ask him how he's doing, no doubt. Why do they always think of him being so ridiculously weak? Sure, he's not feeling quite alright at the moment, but he's going to be just fine! Walking through the school's many hallways with Eddy and Ed always on his tail, he manages to get through the first part of the day just fine. Or rather; he's still standing.
Rounding out to midday, lunch is approaching and the itchiness has evolved into something he's not sure he's ever experienced before. His body feels like its on fire, his mind is entering the fight-or-flight survival mode and the itchiness itself has become painful. Not the "pain" you get when you ignore scratching an area for a while, no – painful as in if anyone where to touch his skin it would hurt extremely much. Itching is not something that would help, it would literally hurt, and what's worse is that it's managed to spread to his scalp. It feels so incredibly hot that he just wants to rip his beanie off and dip his head into a bucket of ice, but that would mean… that would mean that people would be able to see...
The bell rings loudly – it's time for lunch. Forcing himself to stand up he staggers to the door, hearing someone say something behind him, not knowing who it was that spoke or who they were speaking to. Doesn't matter, he's in the hallway now.
Leaning against the wall as he walks, he can't hear how heavily he breathes, nor can he hear anyone attempting to talk to him. The fight-or-flight feeling is screaming at him to do something, but he's got no idea what needs to be done! His skin is aching, his ears are buzzing, his mind is running, his scalp is burning up and he… he doesn't know what to do! He's scared! Coming to a halt, still leaning against the wall, he tries his best to gather his thoughts the best he can but nothing works. Is he going to die?
In the distance is sees the flash of a blue hue he knows and soon there's someone's hand on his shoulder. He doesn't yelp, nor does he cry out in pain, he just falls to the floor, overtaken by the pain, unable to speak or think or attempt to do anything other than allowing gravity to take him down with it. Whoever is in front of him tries to catch him, preventing him from crashing down into the cold and hard floor. His eyes close on impact, a reflex to try and protect them. He can hear Eddy and Ed shouting for him in the background, fuzzy voices talking over each other in the darkness behind his eyelids. Gravity isn't pulling on him like it did before, his whole body supported – he's lying on the floor, isn't he? His head is moved a bit and soon comes in contact with something warm and soft, yet sturdy, a hand being placed on his forehead.
"Breathe Edd, breathe." A voice tells him, very close to him. He knows that voice.
Blinking a few times, he tries his best to open his eyes, but all he can see is a fuzzy image of something blue. "Marie?" He asks, not really knowing if he said it aloud or just in his head, wondering quietly to himself.
"Yeah, it's me. I got you." She answers, petting his forehead some more. "Sip it Skipper! Can't you see he's in pain?!" She snaps suddenly, at Eddy no doubt, but remains where she is; sitting on the floor, Double-D's head resting in her lap. He's got a fever from what she can tell, but something doesn't seem right about it. Curious and worried, she reaches for the neck of his jacket and shirt, one hand remaining on his forehead, and moves it to allow her to see down underneath them.
"HEY! What do you think you're doing pervert?!" Eddy yells at her, causing Edd to flinch.
Twisting and turning in her lap, it's as if he's trying to escape reality. She carefully holds him down and tries her best to ease his pain by petting his hair and cheek gently. "Keep quiet, pipsqueak." She growls at Eddy, glaring daggers into him as soon as Edd calms down again. "I'm just trying to see what's wrong." Reaching for the neck of his outfit once more, Marie manages to get a look down Edd's back and sees something she wasn't expecting, something that worries her. "Bug bites?" Eyes wide, she looks down at the boy lying on his side, his head resting in her arms as he breathes heavily. She remembers something similar happening to Lee a few years ago after they got mites and some other bugs in the trailer, though she never got this bad from that. Then again, they did solve it rather quickly, so in the long run she might've…
"What did you say?" Eddy asks in a much calmer voice, moving closer to see for himself. Ed remains behind him, worried. Seeing the redness and the swollen spots on his body with the typical red dot in the middle, Eddy quiets down and a more serious expression forms on his face. Meeting Marie's gaze, they look at each other for but a mere second before they help each other lift him up from the floor and support him all the way to the school's nurse.
One nod between them was all it took for them to understand each other, to set their thoughts of each other aside to help the one person they both care about. And once they reach the nurse's office they agree that Marie is to stay by Double-D's side while Eddy and Ed do all they can to inform their teachers and take as many notes for him (and her) as they can during class. Parting ways, Eddy and Ed leave to go to class, leaving Marie alone with Edd, doing her best to explain the situation to the nurse. Fortunately she knows of his fantastic grades and his immaculate attendance record, so it doesn't take her long to understand that the situation is not faked to get out of class. Allowing them inside, she takes them to the side room with the bed immediately and starts examining Edd's body, removing his jacket and shirt in the process. She confirms what Marie had suspected and walks back out to her office to fetch some allergy medicine for him. As she walks back and forth, monitoring his condition and taking the time of when she gave him the medicine and what not, Marie finds herself sitting on a chair in the room, just watching the show before her unfold. What is she doing? Yes, she knows that Eddy told her to be there with him, to keep him company and watch over him… in case something else happens? But, why would he allow her of all people to be so close to his friend when he's in such a state where he's not strong enough to remain conscious? And why is she actually doing it? Shouldn't she be mocking him? Poking or prodding him with something, you know, like and actual Kanker would? Why is she just sitting there, watching him, ready to help him if needed? She's not growing soft, is she?
A sudden and rushed knocking interrupts the so what silence in the office. The nurse opens the door only to find a worried Mel on the other side. She allows her in, mostly because she doesn't have a choice, and soon enough Mel enters the small room without asking for permission to. Finding her brother's exhausted and resting form in the bed is both reassuring and gut-twisting at the same time. Then there's the fact that he's not alone. The blue haired girl is with him; the same girl that helped kidnapping him and his friends that one time… and she looks ever so worried too at the moment. For Edd's sake or her own, I wonder.
Song: Doubt – Amanda Mair
First of all; Hi! I'm back! Thank you for your patience while I've been away! Second; I know this might not be a correct way of a mite allergy to pan out, so please don't judge too harshly. I kind of mixed my own allergy experiences (in general) and symptoms I got from a medicine I turned out to be allergic to, with an excuse for Edd to get a new jacket – which will later result in him getting the famous Rev!Edd leather jacket.
With that being said, thank you again for reading! I'll try to post another chapter soon and then I'll probably return to my usual schedule of posting the first day of each month.
Have a good day/evening/night/whatever time you read fanfics on!
