I wasn't going to post any more of this until I'd finished editing it and I'm still toying with the time line a little, but I've had an absolutely awful couple of days and I needed a distraction from real life, so here is the (very long) second chapter.

Thank you for all your comments on the first chapter, I hope you enjoy this one too!


Shelby leapt out of bed when she heard Rachel scream, working on autopilot she flew into the girl's room, her heart pounding in her chest when she found the bed empty. She flicked on the light by the bed and almost cried in relief when she saw Rachel was now curled up under the bed instead of tucked under the covers where Shelby had left her.

"Hey" she moved to lay on the floor beside the bed, she could hear Rachel sobbing and she wanted to try and calm her down although she didn't know how successful she'd be, "you can't be comfortable under there, do you want to come out?" Rachel shook her head. "Okay" Shelby made herself as comfortable as she could on the floor and reached out her hand, putting it a little way away from Rachel, "I'll stay with you until you're ready to go back to bed. When you want to come out, just touch my hand and we can get up okay?" Rachel just cried harder, she'd woken Shelby up but the woman was still being so nice to her. Other people had just pulled her out or left her crying in the dark but Shelby was laying on the floor with her. Maybe she was only staying so she could punish her. Rachel wondered what Shelby would do, would she spank her or lock her in a cupboard? Or would she just give up and send her back? Rachel wanted so much to be good, to find a home she could stay in, with an adult who loved her. She just wanted to be normal, but she was a stupid freak who messed everything up.

She was so lost in her thoughts that it took her a while to hear the gentle lullaby Shelby was singing, but eventually Shelby's voice broke through Rachel's thoughts and the sweet melody began to calm her down.

Shelby had no idea how long she was laid on the floor for, but she was beginning to fall asleep again when she felt something gently brush her hand and she saw Rachel's head peek out from under the bed, "well hi there" she smiled as she sat up, giving Rachel space to crawl out, "it's nice to see you again." She could see how nervous Rachel looked, how terrified she was, so Shelby gave her the choice, she stayed a little way away from her but opened her arms, surprised to find Rachel on her lap before she could even ask if the girl wanted a hug, "shh" she whispered as she rubbed her back, "it's okay, you're safe now, I've got you, it's okay." She repeated her mantra over and over again until Rachel seemed calmer, "want to talk about it?" Rachel shook her head, clinging to Shelby, "okay" she knew now wasn't the right time to push Rachel to talk.

"Are you going to send me back?" Shelby barely heard the whisper as Rachel spoke to her for just the second time since she'd arrived, but what she did hear made her tighten her grip slightly on the girl in her lap.

"No" she said simply, "if you're not happy here then I'll ask Sarah to find you another family, but I'm not going to send you away. I know things haven't been easy for you Rachel, and they might not be easy here either, but we can work together, I'd like you to be happy here, Sarah wants to find you a home you can stay in until you're grown up, and if you're happy, I'd like it to be here." It was one of the questions Shelby had asked Sarah when she'd seen Rachel's file and Sarah had been clear that, ideally, she'd like Rachel to settle somewhere where she could have stability and routine until she aged out of the system.

"I'm bad. You won't like me." Rachel sighed.

"You're not bad." Shelby corrected her, "Sometimes you might make bad decisions, or your behaviour might be bad but that doesn't make you bad, it makes you a child who's still learning right from wrong, and I think you've moved so many times that you haven't been able to learn what's wrong and right, and I think you're probably feeling a lot of things in your heart and in your head, and you don't know how to deal with that, am I right?" Rachel nodded, Shelby must be psychic, Rachel often felt like her head was a jumble of thoughts that she couldn't organise, and her heart hurt every time she had to pack her things and move again. "It's okay to feel like that" Shelby reassured her, "we can work on ways, good ways, for you to deal with what you're feeling, you are not bad Rachel. I will tell you that every day, you've done some bad things, maybe had people treat you badly too, but you are not bad."

Rachel just sniffed and buried her head into Shelby's chest, nobody had ever told her she wasn't bad before. Shelby knew it could be a while before Rachel was settled again so she wrapped her arms around the girl and stood from the floor, carrying Rachel the few steps to the bed before sitting down, the girl still in her arms, "it's okay" she reassured her, "I just wanted to get comfortable, and I don't know about you but I'm getting a little cold." Rachel nodded and Shelby pulled the duvet up over them both, "we can cuddle for as long as you need to." Shelby shifted a little, moving the pillows to support her back. "What's this?" Shelby frowned, pulling a dirty, slightly tatty blanket out from underneath the pillows.

Rachel's tears started again, it was her blankie, she'd had it for as long as she could remember. Her last family had thrown it in the bin, telling her it was dirty and she wasn't a baby so she didn't need it anymore. She'd managed to take it from the trash without anyone knowing, but it smelled bad now, and, now she'd found it, Rachel was sure Shelby would throw it away too.

Shelby frowned at the smell, "is this yours?" she asked and Rachel nodded slowly, "Could I wash it for you in the morning? Shelby asked, "I promise to have it clean and dry before bedtime."

No adult had ever made a promise to Rachel before, not one they'd kept anyway, she felt so awkward, she didn't know what to do, she didn't know what Shelby expected of her, why she was being so nice when, no matter what she was told, Rachel knew she was bad. "Throw it away?" Rachel whispered through her tears.

"Do you want to throw it away?" Shelby asked. Rachel shook her head, "then we won't, anything you brought with you, and anything I buy for you in the future is yours Rachel, the only person who decides whether we throw anything away or not is you. If I think we need to get rid of, or replace something, I will always talk to you about it first. I just want to put your blanket in the washer and then in the dryer, I bet you've had it a long time right?" Rachel nodded, "and it's a little bit stinky right?" Rachel nodded again, "so I just want to put it in the washer and then in the dryer, it'll take a couple of hours that's all, and by the time you get into bed tomorrow it'll be all clean and fresh for you. Can I do that?" Once again Rachel nodded and Shelby smiled, "thank you."

Subconsciously Rachel lifted her thumb to her mouth. Shelby knew it was a habit that needed to be stopped, especially now Rachel would be getting her adult teeth, but right now, she knew she needed the comfort, so she said nothing, continuing to rock and him to the girl until she felt her body starting to grow heavy, "I'm going to lay you down" Shelby told her, "but I'll sit with you until you fall asleep, and, if you wake again, you can come and wake me up, I won't be angry."

"Kay" Rachel mumbled around the thumb in her mouth as she settled herself on her stomach, letting Shelby tuck her back into bed. It didn't take long for Rachel to fall asleep, Shelby gently patting her back and humming to her until she fell asleep, staying for a little longer to make sure she didn't wake. "Sweet Dreams Rachel" Shelby whispered as she brushed Rachel's hair from her face, leaving the lamp on in case Rachel woke again.

Shelby let Rachel sleep in the next morning but she woke when the alarm did, showering and dressing before calling Sarah as she made her way downstairs. "Shelby" Sarah hoped there wasn't a problem, that Shelby wasn't having issues with Rachel already. "Is everything okay?"

"I wondered if you could call Rachel out of school today? Obviously I haven't been in to give them my details or anything so I don't know if they'd take it from me."

"Of course I will, is everything okay?"

"Something happened last night" Shelby said as she made herself a mug of coffee, "I don't know what, I just know I woke to Rachel screaming in the middle of the night and when I went into her she was curled into a ball under her bed. It took her a while to come out and then it took me even longer to calm her down, so I think it's best if I let her sleep for now and then have a calm day, just for today."

"Yes, that probably is for the best. Did she say anything about it?"

"No" Shelby shook her head, "I asked if she wanted to talk about it and she said no, I didn't want to push her in the middle of the night, not on her first night here."

"No, of course not. How is she doing otherwise? Any issues?"

"Nothing major" Shelby said honestly, "she spent most of yesterday in her room and she didn't really eat much at dinner time, but I think she was a little anxious, she didn't eat any of her dinner but I took her some toast up to her room later on and she ate that so I didn't push it."

"I know you've already been through this, but maybe try little meals more often."

"That's my plan for today" Shelby nodded.

She was silent for a moment and Sarah knew she was thinking about something. "What are you thinking?"

"Has anyone ever thought about therapy for her? I don't know what, but she's got a lot going on in that head of hers, maybe having someone to help her work through all that would help."

"She has been to see someone in the past, but she didn't really engage, there were tantrums and tears and in the end we thought it might be doing more harm than good, but if you think she'd benefit from seeing someone…"

"I do" Shelby nodded, "but maybe not immediately, let's give her some time to settle in and then I'll talk to her about it."

"Okay, well let me know when you're ready and I'll help you set up an appointment."

Rachel woke with a jump, slightly confused as to where she was, and she felt a weight sink in the pit of her stomach when she remembered. She'd had to move to another house. Again. It was then she began to worry, she could hear Shelby downstairs, and, after creeping out of bed and peeking through the thick curtains, she began to panic. She must be late. It was already light outside, Shelby must have wanted her to get herself up and ready on time and she'd slept too long, she was going to be in so much trouble! She dressed quickly, not realising that her tshirt was on backwards and she left her hair in the braid from the night before, not noticing how messy it was from being slept on, she put her sneakers on the wrong feet after she'd used the bathroom without bothering to tie the laces and almost flew down the stairs, a streak of toothpaste still on her cheek.

"Hey" Shelby heard the girl thundering down the stairs, catching her as she tripped on her undone laces and stopping her from falling down the last few steps, "careful. Now what's the rush?"

"I slept too long" Rachel's eyes were open wide in fear, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I don't want you to be mad at me, I'm sorry!"

"Rachel" Shelby said softly, getting Rachel to sit on the stairs so she could kneel in front of her, "you slept in because I didn't wake you" she said as she took Rachel's sneakers off her feet, biting back a smile when she noticed they were on the wrong feet. "and I didn't wake you because I've called you out of school for the day, you had a busy day yesterday and you woke in the night, I wanted you to be able to get some rest."

Rachel looked up at Shelby, "you're not mad?"

"Of course not. Now, how about you turn your shirt around, you've got it on backwards, and then come through to the kitchen and I'll make breakfast for us both?" Rachel nodded and Shelby smiled, "thank you" she said as she stood from the stairs, placing Rachel's sneakers on the shoe rack before heading towards the kitchen.

"Have I done it right?" Rachel asked quietly as she walked into the kitchen, barefoot after forgetting to put her socks on as she rushed to get ready.

"You have" Shelby nodded, "thank you for doing that" she turned with some damp kitchen roll in her hand, "You've got a little bit of toothpaste right here" she gestured to her own face, "can I wipe it away or would you rather do it?" she held out the tissue and Rachel closed her eyes and stepped closer to Shelby, "can I do it?" Rachel nodded and Shelby gently wiped the toothpaste from her face, Rachel surprised at the warmth of the tissue. She'd expected the water to be cold, for Shelby to be rough, but she was pleasantly surprised on both counts. "All done" Shelby smiled, "thank you for brushing your teeth, that was really good of you."

They ate breakfast in silence, "Why don't you go grab your blanket?" Shelby suggested once they'd finished, "we can put it in the laundry together." Rachel nodded and headed upstairs, getting her blankie from under her pillow and squeezing it tightly, wanting to remember how it felt in her hands one last time. She wanted to believe Shelby, that it was just going to be cleaned, but she couldn't, she half expected that she'd never see it again, and she wanted to hold it just for a moment.

She made her way downstairs a few minutes later, surprised when Shelby didn't take her blankie. Instead Shelby led Rachel into the utility room, "do you want to put it in there?" she gestured to the open washing machine. Rachel ran her thumb across the edge of her blankie one last time before putting it into the machine, closing the door when Shelby asked her to. "Now, this is the detergent, it's like soap for clothes" Shelby took the box from the shelf and handed Rachel a plastic scoop, "we only need a little bit because we're only washing your blanket, so why don't you fill it up to here?" Shelby gestured to a point on the scoop and Rachel did as she asked, pouring it into the machine when Shelby told her where to put it. Shelby put the detergent back on the shelf and picked up the fabric softener, "and this is fabric softener, it makes things smell nice but we don't need to use it, so if you don't like how it smells, we can wash your blanket without it." She poured a little of the liquid into the lid and asked Rachel to smell it, showing her where to pour it once she said it was okay. Shelby then showed Rachel which setting to put the machine on and allowed her to turn it on, wanting to make her feel like she was in control, she recognised that the blanket was important to Rachel and she wanted her to know where it was and what was happening to it.

"Great job" Shelby smiled once Rachel had set the machine going, "how about we go watch a movie? By the time the movie finishes we should be able to put your blanket in the dryer." She saw Rachel staring intently at the washing machine. "Or we could go choose a board game or a puzzle or something and sit in here until it's done if you want?"

Rachel's head snapped up, she must have misheard, there was no way anyone would sit by a washing machine with her. "Why?" she asked.

"Why can we sit here?" Rachel nodded, "I promise you that nobody will touch your blanket but you, I'm not going to throw it away, but I know you might not be able to trust me yet and that's okay, so, if you want to stay here until it's done then we can do that, but if you want to go and watch a movie or play a game or do anything else at all then we can do that too."

Rachel nodded and Shelby knew she wasn't going to get much more from the girl, "would you like to stay here?" Rachel shook her head, "movie?" Rachel nodded again. "Popcorn?" Rachel's eyes widened in excitement, "okay" Shelby chuckled, "let me show you how to choose a movie and I'll make popcorn while you pick something."

Shelby left Rachel on the couch, she'd given the girl the remote and showed her how to scroll through the children's section of Netflix. Rachel didn't know what to choose. She thought that Shelby would help her if she asked, but Shelby was being so nice to her, Rachel didn't want her to know how stupid she was if she told her she didn't know what any of the words said. She'd tried to learn at school, to do what the teachers told her but it was hard, she felt like she could never see the shapes and the letters that her teachers said were there.

Eventually she just picked a film that had a picture of some cats, she didn't know what it was called or what it was about, but the cats looked kinda cute. "Aristocats?" Shelby said as she walked into the room with a bowl of popcorn and a glass of soda for them both, "good choice!"

They were a little less than halfway through the film when Shelby saw Rachel rub at her eyes. Shelby said nothing but she moved the bowl of popcorn to the coffee table, stretching her arm across the back of the couch. Rachel looked up at her and Shelby just smiled, not moving as Rachel moved closer, her movements were slow and cautious, but Shelby didn't move, kept her eyes on the tv, letting Rachel set the pace. "Okay?" Shelby asked, wrapping her arm around Rachel once the girl was tucked into her side. Rachel nodded as her thumb slipped into her mouth and Shelby turned back to the movie, not wanting to make Rachel uncomfortable.

It didn't take long for Rachel to fall asleep against Shelby and, once she was sure Rachel was completely asleep, Shelby laid her down on the couch, resting her head on a cushion and tucking a throw blanket around her tiny body, making a mental note to book Rachel in for a physical sometime in the next couple of days.

Shelby was sat beside Rachel, watching something else on the TV when the girl woke, "hi" she smiled softly, "did you have a good nap?" Rachel nodded, wondering if Shelby was mad that she'd had to take a nap like a baby. "The washer finished a little while ago" Shelby told her, "want to move your blanket to the dryer or do you need a little more time to wake up?" Rachel shook her head and sat up. She knew Shelby had said she wouldn't throw her blankie away but she still wanted to check, "come on then" Shelby stood from the couch.

Once again she led Rachel to the utility room, "I'll open the door because it can be a little stiff sometimes, but then you can take your blanket out and put it into the dryer okay?" Rachel nodded and reached inside the machine, smiling as she picked out her blanket, it was wet but it was still there, and it didn't smell bad anymore. She held it for a minute before putting it in the dryer, taking a dryer sheet from the box Shelby held towards her as she explained what it was and why they used it. Once again Rachel got to smell it before she added it to the machine, Shelby showing her how to put it on a low heat, not wanting to shrink the bkanket, and set the timer, "there we go" Shelby told her, "when that beeps we can come back and your blanket will be clean and dry, all ready for you to put upstairs ready for bedtime." Rachel nodded and Shelby just smiled at her, "do you want to help me pick out something for lunch?" she asked, "I'm not sure what you like and what you don't."

Shelby made Rachel a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, she didn't want to give the girl the same thing over and over but Rachel still wasn't speaking and Shelby wanted to be sure she ate something. She decided she'd talk to her at dinner time, they could go through the refrigerator and Rachel could pick out what she did and didn't like.

"I think we should talk about rules for living here" Shelby told Rachel once they'd finished eating, "we can write them down so you know what they are." Rachel nodded and, after putting their plates in the dishwasher Shelby sat down with a pad of lined paper and a pen, "first of all" she wrote a number one on the paper, "I'd like you to keep your room, and the playroom if you use it, tidy. Is that fair?" Rachel nodded and Shelby wrote it down on the page. "Can you think of anything you should be a rule?"

Rachel looked down at the table and mumbled, "don't bite."

"That's a good one" Shelby nodded, "what about we put 'no hurting other people?' because kicking and hitting aren't good either. Would that be okay?" Once again Rachel nodded and Shelby wrote it on the page.

They went backwards and forwards for a while, Shelby hoping that having Rachel help her think of household rules would make it easier for her to stick to them, and Rachel both agreed to the rules and said they were fair. The list they came up with included things like, 'put dirty clothes in the laundry hamper', 'no yelling', 'no bad words' and an agreed bedtime of 8pm during the week and 9pm at weekends.

"Now that's done" Shelby wrote another word on the page, "we need to talk about consequences, do you know what that means?" Rachel shook her head so Shelby explained, "in this case a consequence would be like a punishment, it's what happens after you break a rule." Rachel nodded and sighed, this didn't sound fun, she was sure Shelby would know lots of ways she could punish her. "What do you think?" Shelby asked, "can you think of anything we can put on this list?"

"Hit me" Rachel sighed quietly.

Shelby's head snapped up, "no Rachel" she said quickly, "I will never hit you, I've looked after a lot of children and I've never spanked any of them, I'm not going to start with you."

"Have to" Rachel whispered, "I'm bad and you need to teach me to be better."

Shelby wasn't sure who'd told Rachel that but she knew she hated them, knew she wanted to meet them and tell them exactly what she thought of them. "You are not bad Rachel, and there are ways to correct bad behaviour that don't involve me hitting you. I've asked you if every suggestion is okay before I wrote it down haven't I?" Rachel nodded, "well spanking you isn't okay with me so I'm not going to write it down, just like I won't write down anything you're not okay with."

Rachel nodded, not looking up before suggesting, "send me to bed without my dinner?"

"I'm not okay with that either" Shelby knew she was going to have to talk to Sarah about this, "I'm okay with putting you to bed early, but that will only ever be after dinner, I will never make you skip a meal." Rachel nodded, not quite believing Shelby, "can I write down 'Bedtime straight after dinner?" Rachel nodded again, and Shelby noted it down, "what about time out?" she suggested, again writing it down before asking Rachel if she had any more ideas.

"Send me away?"

Shelby shook her head, "we're making this list so we can learn together okay? You break a rule, you get punished for it and then it's over, we start with a clean slate, I want you to be happy here Rachel and, as hard as it might be sometimes, we just need to try and work together okay?"

"Okay" Rachel nodded, but she knew, deep down she knew that one day Shelby would get sick of her and send her away again. Everyone always did. Shelby's next suggestion was 'loss of privileges'. "I don't know what that means" Rachel admitted.

"Thank you for being honest with me" Shelby smiled, "a privilege is a good thing, something that's nice to have, and if you lose it then you don't get to do that nice thing". Rachel still looked confused so Shelby decided to give her some examples, "if you won't get out of bed when I ask you to in a morning then you might lose the privilege of getting to stay up late at the weekend and have to go to bed at your normal time. If you go into the playroom and leave it messy instead of tidying it when I ask you to then you might lose the privilege of being able to go in there for a day or two. Do you understand now?" Rachel nodded," do you think that's a fair consequence?"

Rachel nodded but then asked, "if I have to go to bed early will you still read to me?"

"Of course. No matter when you go to bed, if you're being punished or not, I will read to you and tuck you in if you want me to."

They'd moved on from their rules and were colouring together in the playroom when the dryer bleeped to signal it was finished. Rachel looked to Shelby hopefully but didn't say anything, not sure if she was allowed to go get her blankie or not. "Come on" Shelby smiled, not wanting to make Rachel wait, "let's go get your blanket." She opened the door to the dryer and allowed Rachel to reach in for the blanket, Rachel clutching the fabric tightly and burying her face in it "is it better now it's clean?"

Rachel nodded and looked up at Shelby, "thank you."

"You're very welcome" Shelby told her before asking, "do you want to keep hold of it for a little while or do you want to go put it in your room?" Rachel looked up at Shelby, "it's up to you" Shelby reassured her, "if you want to keep it with you, that's okay, or you can put it upstairs ready for bedtime."

Rachel dropped her gaze to the floor, "can we colour some more?"

"Sure" Shelby nodded, "you were doing a really good picture. Could I put it on the refrigerator when you're finished with it?"

Rachel's face lit up at Shelby's question, "really?"

"Yeah" Shelby smiled, "if you'll let me I'd love to put it somewhere."

"Okay" Rachel nodded, silently promising herself that it would be the best picture she'd ever coloured.

Shelby sat beside Rachel, colouring her own picture and she couldn't help but smile when she saw Rachel kept her blanket in her hand, her thumb stroking over the edge of the blanket. She wasn't sure how Rachel's blanket had got in such a state, how Rachel hadn't asked for it to be washed before, she didn't know why Rachel's last family hadn't washed it either, Shelby had seen a lot of children, several of them had arrived with dirty, tatty clothing but she'd never seen anything as filthy, smelled anything as gross as Rachel's blanket and she was glad that Rachel had allowed her to wash it, that she'd no longer be sleeping with a dirty piece of fabric under her pillow.

When they'd finished colouring, Shelby took Rachel through to the kitchen, letting the girl use one of the many magnets to hold her picture to the fridge freezer. "What about yours?" Rachel asked quietly.

"Do you think my picture's good enough to go next to yours?"

Rachel nodded, "It's good" she told her, "you didn't even go over the lines."

"Thank you" Shelby smiled, "why don't you put it up there then?" she asked, holding out the sheet of paper, smiling when Rachel put it next to hers. "You've done a great job" Shelby told her, "and while we're here, why don't we go through the fridge and you can tell me what you like and don't like."

Rachel nodded nervously and, as they went through the food, the only things she said she didn't like were milk, cheese and yoghurts. "They make me sick" she admitted.

"Oh" Shelby frowned, "that's okay. I'm going to make you an appointment with a doctor soon, just for a check up to make sure you're okay, I think we should probably tell the doctor that they make you sick, but for now, we can find different milks and cheeses to try, ones that won't make you sick."

"Really" Rachel looked up at Shelby, "I don't have to eat it?"

Shelby sat at the table beside Rachel, "in this house you never have to eat anything that makes you ill, you don't even have to eat foods that you don't like. I'd like you to try new foods, but if you don't like it then you just have to say and I'll make you something else, I won't be angry."

"Thank you."

"It's okay, you can come grocery shopping with me too and pick out things you like."

Rachel frowned, swinging her legs gently as she sat at the kitchen table, "I don't want to be trouble" she mumbled quietly, "I just want to be good so you don't send me away."

"I have to buy groceries so we don't get hungry" Shelby explained gently, "buying things that you like isn't any trouble. And you've been very good today, and even if you break every rule we thought of this morning, I wouldn't send you away, we'd talk about it, there'd be consequences if you needed them and then we'd start again. You're going to need time to adjust to living here, and it's going to take time for you to feel settled and comfortable here and that's okay. You've been moved around so often that I don't think you've ever had time to adjust to the changes and new routines that come with a new house. Am I right?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "nobody ever told me the rules like you did."

Shelby smiled sadly, "well you know the rules now, but it's still going to take time for you to get used to them, to remember them, if I ask Sarah to take you to live somewhere else you'll never learn them and that's not fair on you. Things might be tough for both of us for a little while as we get used to living with each other, but that's okay, we can talk about things, we can learn to work together to make this work, to make sure that you're happy and comfortable here."

"Thank you" Rachel couldn't look Shelby in the eye, she'd spent her whole life feeling like everyone wanted to make decisions for her, like she had no control, she was just passed from home to home without anyone ever considering how she felt, without anyone explaining anything or asking her opinion. And then she'd met Shelby, the woman who'd let her help set the rules of the house. Who'd listened to her, who'd comforted her in the night without getting mad. And, whilst Rachel wanted to believe that Shelby meant what she said, that they'd work together to make sure Rachel was happy, she'd been lied to and let down so many times that she didn't get her hopes up, she wanted to trust Shelby, but for her own sake she knew it was safer not to.

Rachel was desperate for a 'forever' home, she was crying out for love and security, she needed structure and routine, she needed consistency, someone who would keep her in line but without being too strict. She'd spent so long hoping that every new home would be her last, and this time, at just seven years old, she'd decided that if this home didn't work, she wasn't going to try anymore. She knew she was broken, she was wrong, she was bad, nobody wanted her and, as much as she hated thinking about it, she knew one day Shelby would realise how horrible she was and send her away too and Rachel wasn't sure if she had it in her to try and settle in yet another new home.

Shelby saw Rachel slip into her thoughts but she didn't interrupt, not until she saw tears roll down Rachel's cheeks. "Rachel?" she said softly.

Rachel wanted nothing more than for Shelby to hold her, to hug her and tell her again how she wasn't going to send her away, but she also knew that she wasn't a baby and she shouldn't expect to be treated like one, so she did the only thing she could think of, she grabbed her blankie, hiding her face in it as she ran from the room, feet pounding up the stairs so she could curl herself into the corner on her bedroom floor as her tears began to fall faster.

Shelby gave Rachel a few minutes before heading upstairs and knocking gently on Rachel's door before stepping into the room, "Rachel" she said softly as she knelt on the floor in the middle of the room, but she got no response so she sat cross-legged on the carpet, "can I sit with you?" she asked, "I won't come any closer but I'd like to sit with you so you're not on your own. If you want a hug or if you want to talk about why you're upset then we can do that, but if not, I'd just like to sit with you. Is that okay?" Rachel nodded but she began to cry harder, all she wanted was for someone to hug her and now Shelby had said she'd do that, and now she was just sitting quietly, she hadn't come over or tried to make Rachel do anything, she'd kept her distance but made sure Rachel knew she was there. Shelby's house was so different to anywhere Rachel had ever lived before and Rachel felt like she couldn't get her bearings, it was such a big adjustment she wasn't sure she'd ever get used to it.

"Will you really hug me?" she managed to choke out between sobs.

Shelby nodded, "I'll give you a hug any time you need one." Rachel sat up, tears still rolling down her cheeks and Shelby said nothing, just held out her arms, finding Rachel in them in an instant. "Shh" Shelby rubbed Rachel's back and shifted the girl into a more comfortable position, "it's okay, you're okay." Her heart broke a little as she felt Rachel clutch at the back of her shirt, Rachel really was just a scared little girl. "I know you can't believe me, and I know it will take a while for you to trust me, but I promise you, I promise that I will do everything I can to keep you here. I want to help you, I want you to feel like you can be yourself, that you can make mistakes and learn from them, it's okay to have feelings and it's okay to be scared and confused, it's okay to scream and shout and it's okay to cry. Whatever happens, however you feel, we'll work through it together."

"You'll send me away. Everyone does." Rachel whispered.

"When Sarah came to talk to me about living here, I asked how long she thought you'd be here for." Shelby told Rachel, "Sarah said she was trying to find you a home you could live in until you're a grownup, do you know what I said to her?" she felt Rachel shake her head against her shoulder. "I said okay." She gave Rachel a minute to process that before telling her, "Sarah told me you can be a little bit stubborn sometimes, and you know what? I am too. And that stubbornness means I don't like giving up, and that means I won't give up on you. As long as you're happy living here, I'll keep trying, I'll do whatever I can to help you. As far as I'm concerned, this is your home now, you've not been here long so it might not feel like that to you, but that's okay, hopefully, in time you'll start to feel at home here."

"I'm bad" Rachel said sadly, "no one wants me."

"I've read your file" Shelby continued rubbing circles on Rachel's back, "and I still said okay to you coming here. I want you here. And you're not bad. You're Rachel, you're still young and you're still learning. Sometimes you might make bad decisions and sometimes you might do bad things, but that's okay, we learn from them and we move on." Rachel said nothing but just continued to sob, crying in Shelby's arms until she had nothing left and she fell limp in Shelby's embrace. Shelby hadn't tried to stop Rachel's tears, she'd simply held her and comforted her, letting her cry for as long as she needed to, "are you feeling a little bit better now?" Shelby asked once Rachel seemed calm. She nodded turning her head to rest her cheek against Shelby's chest, "how about we clean you up and then go get a drink or something?"

Rachel nodded again, "I'm thirsty" she said quietly.

"Okay, let's go wash your face and then we can go get a drink." She led Rachel to the bathroom and sat her on the closed toilet lid as she wet a washcloth with warm water, "do you want to do it or do you want me to do it?" Shelby offered Rachel the wash cloth.

"You do it" Rachel said before quickly adding "please", she knew she was meant to be old enough to do these things for herself, but she liked Shelby doing things for her, she didn't quite understand why, but it made her insides feel all warm and fuzzy when Shelby did something for her. Shelby just nodded and knelt in front of Rachel, wiping away the rest of the tears from her cheeks before using the cloth to wipe her nose too.

"There we go" Shelby threw the cloth into the sink, she'd replace it with a clean one later, "let's go get a drink." Rachel walked downstairs with Shelby and sat at the table, watching as Shelby took out two glasses from the cabinet. She noticed Rachel was still a little teary as she slowly sipped at her orange juice and Shelby couldn't stop herself asking Rachel if she was okay, getting a silent nod from the girl, "it's okay if you aren't" Shelby told her softly, in this house it's okay if you feel sad or if you want to cry, I won't get angry with you, and if you want a hug, you only have to ask.

Rachel was so confused, she'd never felt like this before, her heart was telling her to ask for another hug, to let Shelby hold her and take care of her, but her head was telling her to stop being a baby, telling her that if she was needy and clingy she'd be trouble, and if she was trouble, Shelby wouldn't want her anymore. "Do you get sad and cry?" Rachel spoke before she could stop herself. "I'm sorry" she said quickly, "I didn't mean to be rude."

"You weren't rude" Shelby reassured her, "and it's okay to ask questions, and the answer is yes, I do get sad and cry sometimes. You know how I said sometimes you just need to find a way to deal with what you're feeling?" Rachel nodded, "well my way is playing the piano, if I'm angry I can play something loud and fierce, if I'm sad I can play something slow and soft" she looked to Rachel, "if that's something you want to try then we can give it a go."

"I'll do it wrong" Rachel said sadly, "I don't know how to do it."

"That's okay, you can learn if you want to, I don't mind teaching you." She saw Rachel didn't look convinced, "when we've finished our juice we can go and play a little bit, if you like It and you want to learn then I'll start teaching you properly, if you don't like it we can find another way for you to deal with what you're feeling."

She led Rachel through to her music room once they'd finished, sitting beside Rachel at the piano, "go on" Shelby said softly, "press a key." Rachel looked up at her, "any of them, it doesn't matter." Rachel still didn't look convinced, so Shelby began playing something, she played a few bars of a nursery rhyme she hoped Rachel would know before purposely hitting several wrong notes. "What happened?" she asked.

"You did it wrong" Rachel whispered.

"I did" Shelby nodded, "but did anything bad happen?" Rachel shook her head, "and nothing bad will happen if you give it a go, you won't break it, you won't get into trouble." Rachel slowly reached out and gently pressed a key, looking up to Shelby as if for approval, "see" Shelby smiled, "nothing bad happened."

"Why are those ones white and those ones black?" Rachel asked quietly.

"That's a good question" Shelby told her, "the white keys are called 'natural' notes" she explained, naming a few notes as she played them, "and the black keys are sharps and flats, they're the notes that come halfway between the white keys, so this" she played a C sharp, "is halfway between these two notes" she said as she played a C and then a D.

"Oh" Rachel nodded, "okay."

"Can I show you how to play something? Shelby asked, "would that be okay?" Rachel nodded and Shelby slowly played the first half of 'twinkle twinkle little star', deciding to go for something Rachel would know.

It took a while but eventually Rachel got it and she played the whole song through without any mistakes. "I did it?" Rachel almost couldn't believe it, Shelby had been so calm and patient with her, she hadn't been angry when Rachel got it wrong, she didn't shout or yell, she'd just encouraged Rachel, gently correcting her, telling her where she'd gone wrong and letting her take as much time as she needed.

"You did!" Shelby grinned, "you did a great job."

"But I did it wrong a lot" Rachel sighed.

"That's okay" Shelby reassured her, "I was a little bit younger than you when I first started learning to play and I made lots and lots of mistakes too. I still make mistakes now sometimes if I'm playing something new. If you want to learn then you'll make mistakes, but the more you practice, the less mistakes you'll make, I don't mind my students making mistakes, I never expect anyone to be perfect, mistakes are how you learn."

"How big were you when you played it for the first time?" Rachel asked before frowning, "Is that rude?"

Shelby shook her head, "it's not rude, and I was five when I started learning to play."

"And you practiced a lot?"

"Yeah, I had one lesson a week but we had a piano at home that I'd practice on, and then when I got older I started having two lessons a week because I enjoyed it."

"And you can play really good now?"

Shelby didn't answer verbally, instead just playing something before looking to Rachel, "what do you think?"

Rachel nodded, "you're super good! Will you really show me how to play good like you?"

"It will take a while for you to get as good as me, but I'll definitely teach you how to play if that's what you want?"

"Yes please" Rachel nodded, "but only if you're not too busy." She didn't want to be any trouble, didn't want Shelby to feel like she had to spend time with her if she had better things to be doing.

"I will never be too busy for you Rachel, whatever you need I will always make time for you, whether you need a hug or you want to play a game or the piano, whatever you need, you come to me and I'll be there."

Rachel fixed her gaze on the piano keys, "I don't want to get in your way."

"This is your home, you will never be in the way. I don't know what things have been like in the places you've lived before, but in this house, to me, you come first. And I know it might be hard for you to believe that right now but that's okay, it doesn't matter, I will still put you first."

"Will you hug me?" Rachel's request surprised Shelby.

"Now?" Rachel nodded and Shelby wrapped her arms around the girl sat beside her, "I'll hug you anytime you want."