If you are reading this…
…it means I finally got the situation sorted and solved! And with that I want to say; I hope you enjoy the chapter! And Thank You For Waiting!
"Push the door, I'm home at last,
And I'm soaking through and through"
Chapter 32
Thank You
"Hear the Midnight Call, but beware; don't fall, for the things that you see. Is it real? Cannot be! Then you hear the Midnight Call!" The silence that follows is almost unbearable, but she does her best to see it through. She doesn't mind if they don't enjoy what she writes and makes… truly, she doesn't! Or… maybe just a little…? A little bit… quite a bit. Okay, fine! She really cares what they think! She's just so scared to be told that she's bad at writing things that she tries to convince herself that she isn't scared of that at all so that – hopefully – when she is told that she's bad at it, she won't mind it at all, because she will have convinced herself that that's fine beforehand, and thus she won't feel like she wants to die after having been told that she sucks at writing when it's one of her favorite things to do! There! I said it, OK?!
In the meantime, Lee's been sitting there, listening to her sister's little rhyme and then watched the many different faces she made while waiting for her response to it. There's only so much fun she can draw out of that while they're waiting for Marie to appear again (one day). "Not bad." She says, ignoring the beaming expression May now displays, not fully knowing but somewhat figuring that her opinion is important to her youngest sister. "For a Kanker." She adds with a grin and May's expression changes from proud and happy to confused. Standing up from her seat in their couch, she walks to their kitchen and pour herself a glass of water, not really knowing what to do with herself. As she sips on the glass in silence, she leans back and simply stares out the small window by the sink.
The daylight is running out slowly but surely; the sun has already set and there's only so much time left before the stars and the moon make their grand appearance on the sky, officially starting the night even though it's not yet technically nighttime. Putting the glass down, Lee drums her fingers on the kitchen counter, thoughts starting to run wild with theories as to what's taking Marie so long to get home. May has stopped nagging her with useless poems and rhymes, so she must've noticed the older Kanker's worries. And if she hasn't and just decided to stop pestering her with them for some other reason, Lee doesn't really care; she's grateful for the decision and fact regardless. Slowly but surely it turns into a long moment of silence between the two sisters, and neither of them seem very interested in ending it any time soon. The only sound that can be heard is the dead channel on the Tv that's currently playing in the background. Lee eventually lets out a sigh, killing the silence some.
"Where's Marie?" May asks as if she's completely oblivious to the fact that their sister is missing, but Lee knows very well that that's not the case, meaning she's trying to break the silence between them once more. Lee sighs again.
"Probably taking care of her man, still." She responds.
"Oh… when will she be back?"
She remains silent for a little while, knowing that she actually doesn't know the answer to that one. "I don't know." She says, raising her shoulders into a shrug.
It's dark when she walks home. Mel had made sure to send her home when it was still daylight out when she turned down their invitation to go shopping with them. She even thanked her for all the help before she went home. Marie didn't have the stomach to tell where she was actually going.
Roaming around at the junkyard is something she's always enjoyed, but now for a different reason. Granted that it doesn't smell like flowers, but once you get used to it, it's a very calming place to be. There aren't many people there, due to the smell no doubt, which means you get to be outside without being surrounded by others, without being stared at because there's something "off" about you, like in parks and such. If you find a place to sit and think you can do just that, or you can throw rocks at broken things to break them some more and no one will tell you to stop. It's very peaceful.
The gravel crunches under her feet, bringing her back from her own mind. She doesn't know how long she was at the junkyard, but given how dark it is outside now, the school is already over for the day and Lee & May should be home already – if they even bothered to go to school at all today, that is. Given how late it must be, she wouldn't be surprised if they're waiting for her to come home, staring at the clock or the door, waiting to yell at her the moment she opens it. Why, in fact; Lee is the first thing she sees when she opens the very door.
With both of her hands on her hips, she stands tall over her younger sister, demanding a good explanation without saying a word. "Where have you been?" She says, demanding after having not received an answer, or even a form of greeting. "We've been worried SICK about you!"
"Yeah!" May pipes in from behind Lee's back.
Marie just looks at them, her face rid of all emotions. That's how a Kanker is supposed to be, right? "Yeah, right." She snorts as she forces herself past Lee, pushing her out of the way so that she can get inside. "I'm home now, so you can stop worrying, or whatever you call it." she walks towards their bedroom, hoping to shut everything and everyone out, but alas, Lee gets in her way.
"Stop right there, missy!" Lee says as she quite literally pushes her sister back, refusing to let her get past. "We've got a couple of questions for you, and you better have some good answers to them."
"Or else what?" Marie spits out, crossing her arms.
Lee looks surprised, caught off guard. "What?" She didn't mean to say it for Marie to hear, it just slipped out of her, and boy does Marie not look happy.
"Or what?!" She snaps. "I better have good answers or what?!"
There's a long pause between the sisters, a standoff you could say, though only one of them is ready for a fight at the moment. Lee looks at her blue haired sister, notices May's worried expression in the background. They're both worried. What is happening with Marie? As much as she wants to ask that question, she knows that it will just result with Marie exploding into rage. At least she hasn't changed that much.
Marie rolls her eyes after watching her older sister simply stand there and stare at her in confusion. Did she really not expect her to react like that? It's like the easiest thing to predict, when someone tells you that you better do something 'or else', you always ask what 'or else' means. Letting out a sigh in defeat. "Fine!" She groans loudly for her both sisters to hear. "What do you want to know?"
Lee takes a moment to "check" her sister for any signs of planning to tell lies, but she can't find anything. "Where were you?" She starts off, receiving a tired look from Marie. "We went to school and spent most of our time trying to find you with no result. You left school, didn't you?"
Marie sighs. "Yes. I did leave school." Deep down she's actually kind of surprised that they went to school at all. Maybe to see their "boyfriends".
"Why didn't you tell us about that?" Lee points a judging finger at her. "Do you have any idea how confused and worried we got?"
"Yeah! We had to track down our boyfriends to learn what happened!" May pipes in.
Marie raises an eyebrow at her younger sister. "You talked to Ed and Eddy about it?"
"Yeah! We had to ask them all these questions that there wasn't any time for smooches!" May complains loudly with a deep frown on her forehead.
Marie looks back at Lee. "So… you do already know where I went, and why I went there." She confirms. "So why bother with this stupid little interrogation? Are you really that bored that you just want me to repeat the same record twice?"
"We were worried about you!" Lee shouts, getting frustrated with her. "How hard is that to understand?!"
"Very hard, actually! Kankers don't care about others, right?!" Marie yells back. "That's how it's supposed to be, right?!"
"Then how come you were home with your man, taking care of him as if he was a helpless baby? If you're a Kanker, then you should've done the exact opposite of just that, shouldn't you have?!" There's no going back now.
"Is it normal to hurt the people you're supposed to love?! Huh?! The people you claim to love, the one you confess to on a daily basis?! Is it normal to hurt them on a daily basis?! To break them when they're already broken?!"
"It's what Kankers do! We're born broken, we break everything and everyone around us and then we die in pieces! That's our birthright! That's what everyone sees us as and that's what everyone will always see us as no matter what we do or where we go, and if you grow too soft to accept that then you're going to break faster than anyone of us!" Lee gets in Marie's face. "Are you trying to tell me that you're growing soft?!"
Marie growls and grabs Lee's shirt. "Just try me and you'll see!"
"Go ahead and prove it then!" Lee snarls at her, grabbing a chunk of her hair with her fist. "Show me what kind of Kanker you are and don't you dare hold back! Don't you dare be scared!"
"Says the one who just admitted they were worried about someone."
That's when the first fist is thrown. May can only stand back and watch, confused and worried about the fight that's breaking out before her between her sisters. Normally this really doesn't faze her, but the way they yelled and shouted at each other before the first fist was thrown… she's never been so confused and scared of and for her sisters before. Backing into the corner of the couch, she crawls into a small ball before she carefully makes her way out of the living room, crawling by the wall and dodging whenever she needs to. She eventually makes her way into their bedroom and shuts the door, hoping to close out the sounds of their fight, but it only gets muffled. Better than nothing though, right?
Fights between the Kanker sisters aren't unusual, but they've never been like this before. Deep down, there's always been this rule of holding back when you're fighting your own family; you just don't hurt those with the same blood as you… but that rule doesn't appear to rule or guide in this battle. And the words that they each shouted and yelled at each other. Their words echo continuously in May's head, messes with her thoughts and beliefs. She's never actually thought of any of it before… not like that. Is it really normal to hurt the one you're in love with? She's always thought of it as something couple's do; fight each other and then get back together with smooches and cuddles. Is… is it not? She's not sure what to think of it, and frankly, she's scared to tell anyone. If that's how Lee reacted when Marie said those words… how will she react if May shares her thoughts and doubts? Is it really like that? Is it really like how Lee explained it as? Kankers are nothing but broken people who break everything and everyone around them, and when they die, they die in pieces. Is that all people will think of them, no matter what? Is that what they think of them right now?
Holding her arms close to her chest, she slowly makes her way to her bed, the sounds of her sister still fighting ringing out in the background. She crawls into a ball, her knees to her chest with her arms wrapped around her legs, and simply sits there, in her bed, in silence, hoping that they will stop soon. Is it normal to hurt the ones you're supposed to love? Once again, Marie's words echo in her head. A question with a powerful meaning behind it… and she doesn't know the answer to it. With tears forming in her eyes, she wipes them roughly and lays down in her bed, hoping that tomorrow will arrive quicker if she manage to go to sleep now instead. Her hope gets crushed the moment Marie opens the door and enters the room. The fight is over.
After a moment of intense fighting with her sister, Lee does eventually let Marie go to the bedroom to unwind. Meanwhile she remains in the living room, sitting on the couch once more, thinking about it all. She can't have her younger sister becoming soft like that. She knows that it may sound hard and cold to think that way, but the world overall is a hard and cold place to live in. If Marie can't accept or tolerate the fact that her sister doesn't like the way she's thinking, then she's not fit to survive in a world that doesn't care whatsoever about her emotions, feelings or thoughts. She's just not going to. As a Kanker, they have to be tough in order to survive. There's just no other way about it. Born a Kanker, you're gonna live with the title of being a Kanker, whether you like it or not. If you don't like it, then chances are you'll end up in a grave quicker than the rest.
She sighs quietly to herself, remembering all the things their mom told her when she was little, when there where only the two of them roaming about, before Marie and May came to be. She may not have many memories from that time of her life, but she does remember Marie and May's fathers… a little bit at least, whereas neither of them met any of their dads. Marie's dad has the same hair as her, the same temper… wherever these weird thoughts are coming from is beyond her, for from what she remembers, Marie's dad left as soon as he found out he was gonna be a dad. No empathy towards her mom or his daughter what so ever. He was just gone, and he took most of their money with him. May's dad was kinder, but it was a very complicated mess any way. His family did not approve of him finding love with a woman such as "that Kanker lady" and the fact that she already had two kids did nothing to help. If anything, it just made them throw even more heated comments at them. When she got pregnant without them being married… that's when his own family kicked him out, took everything he had given them back from both them and him. Why? Because they were Kankers, and being just as dangerous and horrible as their names suggest, it meaning cancer and all that, they didn't want to deal with any of them. "No sane person would ever want to deal with the embodiment of cancer", "Cancer is their name, cancer is their trait, stick around for too long and they'll end you" and all that. But the worst part was when he died. She doesn't remember what happened to him, the only thing her mom said was that he got sick and couldn't get better. She does, however, remember that they were the only ones who came to his funeral. His family sent a bouquet of flowers with a note on that her mother didn't allow any of them to read. She just knows that it made her cry a lot. That's when they sold their apartment and got the trailer, so that they could get out of there. But that didn't help. Nothing will help. That's the birthright of a Kanker.
Closing her eyes for a moment, she stands up and heads back into the kitchen to make a quick snack to eat. It's still technically too early to go to bed, but not for long and she wants to eat something before she goes to bed.
Spreading some butter onto a piece of bread, she ponders on where she should sleep tonight. They all share a bedroom and a bed, but something tells her that things might get heated again if she tries to sleep so close to Marie tonight. Taking the first bite out of the sandwich, she shakes her head with a displeased look on her face as she makes her decision. It's not the first time one of them has slept on the couch because of an argument. It's nothing new, nothing they haven't seen before. They should be ok with that. It's what a Kanker does, after all.
Song: Thank You – Dido (whichever remix you enjoy. The one I listened to was; It's Not So Bad, by Dybbukk Covers, Sabrina Gomes, Dybbukk, on Spotify)
So yeah… I got a new computer. My old laptop that I got 2014 finally passed away in its sleep, and after some time of mourning, I eventually got confident enough to plan to get a new computer. Although, this time I decided to get a stationary computer, so that it will hopefully live a little longer, make it easier to replace something if it were to break suddenly or if I wanted/needed a new upgrade and so on. So now… I have no idea what kind of computer this is, I just know that it was expensive, though it could've been worse. I basically paid someone my stepdad knows and he got parts to build a computer for me and installed it for me. Then everything was ready to go smoothly, right? Wrong… oh, so wrong… while I can't really share too many details about what happened I can give a quick summary, make a long story short; One Drive and Windows Words did NOT like each other. And when it was clear that I was in fact keeping Windows Words, One Drive pulled a toddlers anger tantrum at me. BUT now I'm back, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Things are getting darker emotionally for Marie and it will continue on for a while, meanwhile Edd is going through his change too, and Mel has stuff with her dad boiling underneath a lid that I forgot I put over it, so there's going to be more of that too. I really hope you enjoy it! And also, thanks for reading this!
