I woke up on the sofa in Anthony's office, assuming that I fell asleep in there last night sometime. The fire was out and bottle of water had been left on the table for me. I could only imagine who put it there….
With a big yawn, I exited the room, not really considering where I would go to next. The place was quiet; you couldn't hear anyone around. I didn't know what time it was since I left my phone in my room, but the sun was out so my guess was it was around eight or nine. Wandering rather aimlessly and not particularly thinking about anything important, my feet stopped on their own accord when Edwina's head rounded the corner up at the front of the hallway. She spotted me and her eyes widened.
"Kate! There you are," she raced over to me. I, for my part, merely blinked back at her, still kind of half asleep. My sister reached out to take my left hand in both of hers. She looked remorseful…. Or as remorseful as she could be. I didn't say anything as she slid a folded piece of paper into my hand, peering down at it confused.
"Look, I'm sorry about last night. I was outta line; you're right… It's not Dad's fault he and Mom got divorced. I shouldn't have said that; I was just mad, that's all." "Uh….. huh?" My head slowly bobbed up and down. Mad? About what? That's when I suddenly remembered the fight we had before. Wait, is she talking about that? I totally forgot….. What I remember from last night was Anthony wrapping me up in a blanket cocoon and his hand secure on the top of my head…
Edwina's eyes lowered regrettably. "You've been really patient with me, sis. I shouldn't have gotten angry with you; you didn't deserve that. So I wanted to make it up to you," she explained and my eyebrow raised. She notioned down to the folded paper with her eyes, to which I took as my cue to look at it. Opening it up, my face began to scrunch up perplexed.
"Edwina, this is a return flight to Vienna?" This was more of a question than a statement. Finally smiling for once, she nodded eagerly. "It's only til the end of the summer, before you have to move to Oxford. I….. I know that you wanted to stay there until you had to come back to the UK for school, and that you're here for me….. You did this for me, so I wanted to do something for you." "You…. booked me a flight to Vienna?" My pitched raised a little. Her head nodded again, with more excitement now. "And an Airbnb room downtown. It's right near the Sissi museum, which you love! You'll be able to spend the whole rest of the summer there!" Her hands clapped together in anticipation at my reaction. I merely gazed back down at the paper in my hand, wearing a solemn expression.
"Is it refundable?" I heard myself ask next. Wait….. Why did I just ask her that? What's wrong with me? Why aren't I jumping at the opportunity to go back? All I wanted was to stay in Austria for as long as possible until school started. Why is my immediate reaction one of hesitation? Why….. am I not excited about this prospect all of a sudden? What's wrong with me? This is what I wanted….. This is what I told Edwina I wanted. So why am I hesitating? Why do I not want to go back….. alone?
Edwina's expression flipped on a dime. You could see the change in her eyes as she gawked dumbstruck at me. Her mouth hung slightly. "W-What do you mean, Kate? This is what you wanted. I-I thought you wanted to go back to Vienna…?" "I do! It's just…" I don't know how to describe it. I want to go back, but I'm not eager to go, if that makes sense. I don't know what's wrong with me or what's changed to make me feel so…. contented here. My fingers crinkled the paper a little. If anything, I want to stay here in Bath…..
I want to stay.
Stun soon morphed to irritation and anger in her face. Her eyebrows furrowed deliberately. "Why the change of heart now? You said last night that you didn't want to move back to London with me. You wanted to stay in Vienna, so I got you a ticket back. What's wrong? You should be ecstatic! I'm trying to do something nice for you!" "It is nice! And I'm grateful….. But just like moving to London, you didn't ASK if I actually wanted to go back." "Wha-….? Of course you do! You love Vienna! You told me so yourself!" She shot back and I realized that arguing wouldn't make the situation any better. I suppressed a sigh, lowering my arm down to my side.
"You're right, I do. And if you asked me a month ago if I'd like to go back for the summer, I would have pounced on the opportunity without a second thought," my lips paused here as I tried to rapidly organize my thoughts. Oh boy, how am I going to explain this one….? I forced myself to smile for Edwina's benefit, taking on that emotional labour again. "It's not your fault, Edwina. I really do appreciate you doing something nice for me. Just to know I have your blessing to go back to Europe is enough."
Edwina's eyes widened in realization. "So… You're not going back?" She sounded thunderstruck. Without reservation I shook my head, maintaining my calming smile and eyes on her. "I'll stay in London until you're married. Then I'll move to Oxford to start PhD." Her lips spattered a little. "Wait a minute. Are you… doing this for me? Don't tell me you're not going back to Vienna on my account? I'm trying to make this better, Kate! It's like you said, I can't depend on you forever…. I….. I have to learn to stand on my own two feet."
I smiled for real this time, reaching my free hand up to rest on her shoulder. "You can, and you will. And no, I'm not staying on your account. I… I don't really know why I'm staying, why I want to stay…. It's just….. I don't want to go away anymore. I guess I've learned that I can find happiness here in the UK too. I'm happy here…. I'm happy right now with life," I admitted, and my sister just stared back my way baffled.
A long moment passed between us; Edwina clearly digesting what I'd just proclaimed. Her eyes drifted side to side out in front of her, until after a minute she peered back up at my face. She looked at me and I smiled back. "Are you sure about this?" Her tone wasn't confident at all. I nodded absolutely resolute. "Yes, without a doubt. I'm not mad at you anymore about last night; I just needed to clear my head. But we're good now." "We're good?" "We're good," I repeated, giving her shoulder a squeeze. The corners of her lips began to curl hopefully again. "Does that mean you'll come to the ball with me and the Bridgertons tomorrow evening then?"
"NO!"
