Never Have I Ever…" pt. 2.9

Chapter 11

(The Tour, pt 2)


As they rode north heading back toward the cabin, Steve found himself lost in his own thoughts. Some things that were said between him and Bucky over the past week or so really had him wondering if his best friend was attracted to him in a manner that had the potential to turn their lifelong friendship into something… more. He certainly wasn't against the idea and actually found it difficult sometimes to hide his own feelings of attraction toward Bucky in front of others.

On more than one occasion he'd realized he'd been staring at Barnes, unable to peel his eyes away from him as he tucked his hair behind his ear or bit lightly on his bottom lip. Those little actions were incredibly endearing and they often captured his attention far longer than they should if he didn't have eyes for Bucky. A few times during that game they'd played, before Stark had caused it to go to shit, he'd found it difficult to pull his eyes away from Barnes. When he did, realizing he'd been staring, he'd look around at their teammates to be sure he hadn't been caught only to see Natasha watching him with a knowing grin on her face. It was definitely getting more difficult to hide his feelings especially when he was sitting or standing close to him.

He was pretty certain though, that his actions back at the ice cream shop had caught Bucky's attention in the same way. He had watched as Barnes tried to keep up with the melting ice cream and Steve had found it really difficult to not stare at that beautiful mouth as he raced against the summer heat. Steve had simply enjoyed his own treat as his eyes were glued to Bucky, watching as his lips encompassed the melting scoop of ice cream. Then he'd tilt his head to lick the sticky drips off the back of his hand; twisting his wrist he'd tilt the cone so he could drag his tongue up the side of it to collect what was dripping down the sides and he was driving Steve crazy.

That's when Steve decided to ask him if it was good; knowing Bucky would offer him a taste. When he did, Steve didn't hesitate to lean over and engulf his ice cream with his mouth. It also didn't escape his attention that when he'd done that, Bucky's mouth opened slightly as if in awe of what Steve had done. Steve almost smiled at Bucky's expression and pulled away to recover and that's when it happened. He really didn't mean for it to happen and he really hadn't done it on purpose, but the melting ice cream dribbled from his lip down his chin; and Steve was well-aware that Bucky was still staring at him as he wiped the gooeyness from his mouth and chin before he was able to collect himself and tried to laugh it off.

It'd been a couple of days since Bucky had given him any reason to wonder if he had feelings toward Steve and he was beginning to wonder if it had all been just wishful thinking. Steve's thoughts were circling that arena again because of what Bucky had said on the trail; "I'm no lady's man, not anymore"… Maybe he'd just meant that due to his anxiety and post-traumatic stress, he no longer had the confidence he'd had around females the way he used to. Steve had suggested Bucky flirt with the young ladies to try to gauge his reaction, but he had to admit to himself that he was rather selfishly pleased to see Bucky had no interest in the young redhead. But! it was also possible that he was reading far too much into Bucky's comments and behavior.

He pushed all those thoughts to the back of his mind as they turned off the highway and paid the toll. They turned left and continued up into the mountains where it was significantly cooler traveling under the canopy of the trees. When they came up to the first stop sign, Steve turned to Bucky.

"You hungry?" he asked.

Bucky grinned and nodded. "I could eat."

"Okay, follow me," Steve replied, as if Bucky was going to go anywhere else.


They rode another twenty minutes and by the time they rolled into the parking lot of a burger joint that was a great tourist spot, both of their stomachs were rumbling. They parked the bikes at the far end of the parking lot and walked the distance up to the window. Steve stayed on Bucky's left all the time, even when they were riding the bikes. It was a subconscious effort to make Bucky feel comfortable around other people as Barnes often worried that others would discover his arm was made of metal. They were the fourth couple in line and Bucky's attention was fixed on the board over the window listing their options.

Steve already knew what he wanted so he took the moment to look around at some of the tourists sitting at nearby picnic tables or on the grass in the shade of the trees. A group at a picnic table to their right caught his attention when he noticed all of the men were wearing the same type of jacket and baseball-style caps that had "WWII Veteran" written across the front. Steve figured they probably all had served together or were just part of the same veterans' organization. He smiled to himself noting that each was sitting with a woman who was most likely his wife.

One of the men happened to look up and saw Steve looking at them and his expression changed slightly. Steve wasn't sure if the man was wondering why he was looking at them or if he'd recognized Steve. Steve gave a polite nod and turned his attention back to Bucky.

"Did you decide?" he asked, placing his right arm across Bucky's back so his hand rested on his right shoulder. It was Steve's way of announcing silently that he was in protective mode.

At the table, the man interrupted the conversation to point out the two men standing in line to his companions. "Do you guys know who that is?" he asked. The others at the table turned to look at Steve and his companion and a new conversation was spurred at the table.

Steve heard the man pointing them out and shifted his position from Bucky's left to stand at his right side; between him and the group who he believed had just recognized them. He didn't want a scene right here in the middle of all the tourists and suddenly regretted getting Bucky in the middle of something that might go south real fast… and in public.

Steve let Bucky order first while he shielded him from view of the group at the table. Then he stepped up and ordered his food quickly and grabbed some napkins and straws from the dispensers sitting on the shelf outside the window. A few minutes later, two trays were pushed out the serving window. Bucky picked up the one full of burgers and fries and Steve collected the tray with their drinks. They turned to head back to the bikes and Bucky took note that Steve was behaving oddly as he walked beside him, dropping back a step as if he was actively covering him as they walked.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked.

"What?" Steve asked as if slightly surprised he'd been caught. "I'm not doing anything… just walking. How about we sit on the grass in the shade?" he pointed to a spot behind the bikes.

When Bucky took a seat on the grass, Steve purposely sat behind his left shoulder a few feet away. When Bucky offered him his burger and fries, he had to spin around to face Steve. Steve relaxed a bit now that Bucky's back was toward the group who was clearly watching them now.

As they ate their lunch, Steve kept the group in sight; directing his gaze over Bucky's shoulder when he wasn't looking. They each finished two cheeseburgers and a large order of fries along with a tall cold drink and Bucky was ready to try that soft serve ice cream he'd seen painted on the sign.

Steve had to force a smile at the suggestion of another ice cream, but he couldn't deny Bucky the chance to try a soft serve ice cream. "I'll go get them. You can wait here," Steve offered. "What flavor do you want?"

"Chocolate," Bucky replied and Steve nodded and stood up. He started to gather up their trays and wrappers but Bucky stopped him. "I can get this. You get the ice cream."

Steve thought about it for a moment, not sure he should leave Bucky unattended while they had the group's attention. Bucky began to gather up the trash and then looked at Steve curiously; wondering why he was still there. Steve noticed Bucky's frown and nodded. "I'll be right back," he said.


Steve had to wait in line for the ice cream longer than he'd hoped. He kept looking over his shoulder to be sure Bucky was being left alone. He watched him stand up and walk the trash to a bin about ten feet from where they'd had their lunch and then return to the spot. Steve glanced at the group at the table who were definitely focused on Barnes; whispering and pointing in his direction. The women would look over their shoulders at him as they listened to the men talk.

As Steve took a step forward it felt as though he'd been standing in line for hours. He kept glancing at the men at the table and caught the attention of one facing him. The man looked him in the eye and gave him a nod. Steve nodded back hesitantly. He swallowed thickly as the people in front of him moved away with their treats and he stepped up to order. Plain vanilla and plain chocolate soft serve cones took only a minute to prepare and he grabbed more napkins from the dispenser and slapped down money plus a decent tip for the girl. He grabbed the cones and made haste back to where Bucky waited for him.

"Here ya' go," he said and Bucky smiled, reaching up to take the cone. He took a second to look at the twirled confection and then sucked the curly top off. Steve smiled as his thoughts took a dip in the dirty pool as he watched Bucky eating his ice cream.

It took less time for them to finish the soft serve than it had taken them to finish the harder variety earlier. When they were done, they were once again with sticky hands thanks to the summer heat. They stood up and returned to the bikes. Steve stood next to Bucky's bike as he poured water from the canteen over their hands and wiped them dry with the last of the clean napkins.

Steve noticed the group of veterans standing up from the table and a couple were staring him down. When it became clear that the group was heading in their direction, Steve tried to hasten Bucky onto his bike.

"We should get going," Steve told him and took the canteen from Bucky's hand. Closing it he tossed it into the saddlebag and slapped the box closed. He gave Bucky a soft push to get on his bike and turned to mount his own. Bucky looked at him a bit confused.

"What's the sudden urgency?" Bucky asked.

"Get on your bike," Steve told him, looking past him at the five men closing in on them.

Bucky noticed Steve's attention was over his shoulder and he turned to see what he was concerned about. When he saw the five men, followed by the women, marching toward them he swung his leg over the seat and prepared to start the engine.

"Hey!" the lead man called out to them raising his hand as if gesturing for them to wait. "We want to talk to you."

"Dammit," Steve cursed under his breath as he looked at Bucky who had frozen and averted his gaze toward the ground between the two bikes. Steve could see his breathing had sped up as he tried to control the sense of panic that was washing over him. "It's okay," Steve told him quietly.

The group came to a stop in front of the bikes nearly shoulder to shoulder, but Steve wasn't getting the impression that they were trying to impede them from leaving. It appeared they were fanned out more so each one of them could see both him and Bucky. The women had stopped a few yards behind the men and waited.

"Umm… can we help you, gentlemen?" Steve asked.

"We know who you are," the lead man told Steve. "You're Captain America, aren't you? Captain Rogers."

Steve swallowed and then nodded. "I am, yes."

"My name is Joe… Joe Wilson," the lead man said and then introduced the rest of his group. "This is John, Frank, Bob and Henry." Each man nodded at Steve as he was introduced and Steve nodded at the group as Joe finished the introductions.

"Nice to meet you fellas," Steve said, trying to remain courteous toward fellow veterans.

Then Joe turned his attention to Bucky and took half a step to stand directly in front of his bike. Bucky kept his eyes averted as panic rose up inside him.

"You're… Sgt. Barnes," Joe said, and Bucky glanced up at him before dropping his gaze again. "Right? You're him? The Winter Soldier?"

Bucky's face twisted up, showing the intense regret he felt for ever having to be that thing that Hydra had turned him into. He certainly didn't want to be pushed into having to hurt anyone especially in his own defense.

"Hey, fellas," Steve interjected. "We're not bothering anyone. We just want to be left in peace."

"Well," Joe replied to Steve without taking his eyes off Barnes. "We're here to maybe bring you a little."

"Sorry?" Steve replied, not understanding the statement.

"The five of us," Joe said, directing most of his words at Bucky but glancing at Steve now and again to include him. "We fought the same war as the two of you," he said, watching Barnes closely. "We were there. We know what that war was like."

Steve listened to Joe and glanced back and forth between him and Bucky trying to gauge Bucky's stress level. He kept his head down and his eyes to the ground. He looked to Steve as though he was on the precipice of a ledge crumbling under his feet.

"Frank and Henry were both prisoners of war," Joe pointed them out and Bucky forced himself to look up at the two men indicated by Wilson. The two men responded with a nod and Bucky dropped his gaze again. "They know what it was like to be at the mercy of the enemy," Joe continued explaining, and Steve realized that they were trying to tell Bucky that they understood what he'd gone through.

"John and I received Purple Hearts for injuries sustained in combat," Joe continued, choosing his words carefully. Steve relaxed as he realized these men weren't intending to cause any harm. He listened to Joe's words and looked at Barnes now and again. He still hadn't relaxed enough to keep his head up. "John was shot three times in the chest and shoulder…. And I lost an arm," Joe told them. He removed the glove from his left hand to show Bucky the prosthetic he had.

Bucky glanced at the prosthetic hand that Joe had revealed to him. Bucky's mouth turned under as he tried so hard to keep his emotions in check. When he looked up at Joe he was surprised to see the look of complete understanding and compassion on the man's face. Steve held his breath as he noticed Bucky's eyes were brimming with tears. His chin began to quiver as he held back his tears and Steve watched in wonder as Joe seemed to be able to get through to Bucky in a way no one else had been able to.

"Son…" Joe continued, directing his words only to Barnes. "You are not alone. We know your story… we were there. We lived it. Not to the extent you were forced to, but we know you're not to blame for the things you were forced to do. I don't know anyone else who'd been a prisoner of war for seventy five years, but…. you're not alone," Joe told him and then he reached out slowly and put his hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Welcome home, soldier."

And it was with those words that Bucky crumbled. He couldn't hold them back any longer and the sob escaped him before he could stop it. Steve reached out a hand and gripped Bucky's arm in support and Joe stepped around the front of the bike and wrapped his arms around Barnes. Bucky nearly folded up against Wilson's chest as the older veteran held him tight. Steve's eyes flooded with emotion and his tears fell as easily as Bucky's were finally falling.

Steve looked at each man in the group and every one of them was in tears. Surrounded by men who shared a kinship with them, Bucky finally felt safe enough to let it all go; all the sorrow, regret, guilt, humiliation and pain.

"Welcome home, son," Joe said softly with his chin resting on top of Bucky's cap. He could feel Barnes whole body trembling with the force of his tears and he just held onto him.

Steve lost track of how long they'd been sitting there as Joe and his group helped Bucky release so much anguish. Everyone in the group was patient and soft spoken and it was clear to Steve that these men had been through this same scenario more times than they could probably count. He kept his hand wrapped around Bucky's left arm so he would know he was still there with him. Joe just kept his arms wrapped around Bucky until he was able to get himself under control. As Bucky's tears slowed, he straightened and wiped his hands across his face.

John left the group briefly as the women moved closer to them. One of the wives was handing something to John and he returned with it. Bucky removed his cap and wiped the sleeve of his jacket down his face to try to make himself more presentable then replaced his cap. John was handing him something and Bucky looked at it curiously.

"This is for you," he said and Bucky took it from his hand. John then handed one to Steve and Bucky looked over to see that they were the same. It was a small clear packet with a white star inside it. He flipped it over to see a couple of notes inside behind a backer card that read "Stars for Troops". "That's called a star packet," John told him. "It's a star from a retired American flag. It's a small token of appreciation for your service to this country and the sacrifices you had to endure. It seems rather insignificant in this instance, but –."

"No, it doesn't," Bucky breathed out, his lungs hitching as he was still trying to bring his emotions under control. "Th-thank you," he stammered and then was finally able to pull his shoulders back and raise his face to the men standing in front of him. "Thank you," he repeated and more tears rolled down his cheeks. His hands were shaking and it was difficult to form words. He suddenly felt completely drained; emotionally and physically.

Steve let go of Bucky's arm and dismounted his bike. He came around to shake each man's hand and thanked them sincerely for what they'd just done for his friend. He knew he had to get Bucky back to the cabin before he collapsed completely but the women asked if they could pose for a picture and, for the first time, Bucky was able to smile with the request. He remained seated and Steve stood between the bikes as the other WWII vets stood to either side of them. They got their picture taken and Bucky shook their hands as they each said good bye. He reached out to Joe and grabbed the sleeve of his jacket. Joe turned with a smile and hugged Bucky tight again, whispering supportive words to him and then walked away with the group.


Steve made sure Bucky was able to operate his bike before leading them slowly back to the garage. They got the bikes put away and Bucky collapsed in the passenger seat of Steve's car. He slept on the ride back to the cabin and Steve found himself caught between smiles and tears as his mind kept replaying the encounter. He pulled the car up close to the cabin and turned off the ignition. He looked at Bucky who was completely spent and out cold beside him, still clutching the star packet in his hand.

Steve was able to finally rouse Bucky enough to get him out of the car. He had to support him as they walked to the cabin as the emotional breakdown had drained his strength. Steve understood now what Natasha had meant about him simply needing to sleep it off. He got Barnes inside and settled him on the futon. As Bucky slept, Steve removed his cap, gloves, jacket and boots then covered him with the afghan. After a final glance at his sleeping friend, he grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and went out to sit on the deck, remaining close by just in case.