Chapter 42
As the team stood there, taking in the words that would change their life forever, time seemed to stand still. No one moved, and no one breathed. As Bravo stood frozen in time, they could feel the presence of a few of their support team, Davis and Blackburn, flank them, joining into their bubble of despair. The air around them was thick, making them all choke as they inhaled. It was tainted with death, and they needed to get out as fast as possible before everyone was lost to it.
Slowly the row of soldiers and support blinked into the distance, focusing on the ambulance barreling across the tarmac as they watched Clay and Trent disappear. Nothing but questions on the tip of their tongues as everyone wanted to ask if they got his heart beating again, but they were also scared of the answer they may receive in return. But once those doors slammed shut, shutting out any answers and noise after those four words made it to their ears, they knew they would not get any answers for a while. They would be stuck in this state of despair and the unknown.
Liz slowly sank to her knees and just stared into the lights of the back of the ambulance as it turned the corner through the fence of the tarmac barreling towards the hospital. As she sat there, she froze and looked down at her hands that had fallen to her thighs as she leaned back onto her heels. They were wet. Slowly she looked down and raised one hand, inspecting the new water droplets on her fingers as her other hand hovered up towards her cheek, where it had grown cold from the breeze hitting damp skin. She was crying, something she had not done for over ten years when Jason came into her life fully and showed her what a true family meant and what love was. He was the last person she truly loved, but now the blue-eyed blonde seemed to have wiggled his way into her heart. She loved him. It was a different kind of love she had ever experienced with Jason and the team. They were her family, and she loved them the best she knew how, but Clay was the love of her life. Her breath, her sanity, and her anchor. He was her person.
Sonny uttered a small cry as he inhaled and looked up towards the sky. He was at his breaking point and having difficulty keeping his tears safely inside his eyes. He knew the team would not say anything and razz him as normal if he broke, but he was not going to. He was going to fight all his sad feelings as he would not believe that his best friend was gone. If he denied it, then it was not happening, and this was all just a horrible nightmare, and he would wake up on the plane in his hammock and look over and see a mop of blonde curls beside him hiding under a flipped hat covering the face that he could not look at and not crack a smile. The smugness and happiness coming off of Clay were contagious. He would look closer and see his best friend's arm slipping out and hanging down out of his hammock as Clay seemed to love to spread out and hated to be confined. He always called his hammock a cocoon, and he was too pretty like a butterfly to be squished in anything to sleep. He had the most random remarks, and Sonny was there for every moment and always fed him and fed off him. They were not known to be calm and always found some way to get into trouble. The only thing keeping Sonny from boiling over and breaking his damn right now was the concentration of forcing his chest to rise and take stead breaths as he clenched and unclenched his fists as squeezed them shut hard enough to feel crescents from his nails, forming into his palms. The slight pain is centring him and reminding him of all the pain his buddy is facing and that he needs to be there for him for every minute of it. He was not dead, he was not going to die, and he would be coming home with him kicking and screaming.
"They are going to get him back; he will be ok. He has no choice in the matter," Davis whispered as she put her hands on Sonny and Jason, came up behind them, and gave them a tight squeeze. "He's too stubborn to die after we just got him back. And he knows we will all go and get him and kick his ass if he does."
Everyone let out a huff of laughter, knowing Davis was trying to help ease the tensions, but she was just as worried as them. No one wanted to make their way to the hospital and get some of the worst news of their life. Clay was their family. He was their annoying little shit of a brother that loved to disturb the peace and cause trouble. He was Jason's son, and he was Liz's life. He could not go anywhere and leave them behind.
"Come on; I arranged a ride to the hospital. None of you are in the right mind to drive. Niama is here, and I have my car here." Blackburn called out as he made his way up the ramp to gather his few belongings.
"We will bring everything in and then meet you at the hospital," Steve called out as he started to gather his men and motion towards Bravo's equipment and rucks.
"Thank you. Let me know if you need anything or get into any trouble with their cages." Davis smiled at Steve as he made her way to Liz, still kneeling on the ramp motionless and slowly slumping into herself, Shielding herself from the world, from her reality. "Liz, we got to go. Come on."
"I got her." Jason motioned towards his girl as she refused to move. She did not acknowledge Davis or anyone from the team as they slowly regained their composure, gathered themselves and walked toward their rides. No one talked or even looked at each other. They were going through the motions, but not all there; no one would be until they were looking at their boy's blue eyes and saw his cocky smile that they always are itching to slap off his face. "Come on; I got you."
Jason leaned down, lifted Liz up by her arms, and froze as he sucked in a breath. He had only seen her cry once, which broke his heart, even before she grew a place in his heart. Seeing her silent tears stream down her face and her blank stare made him suck in a breath and close his eyes as he willed himself not to break. He needed to be strong for her, for his team. Sonny was on the brink of a breakdown as he walked away, cleaning and unclenching his fists as he fought back the water in his eyes that kept threatening to brim over. Ray blamed himself for Clay taking a turn for the worse, or so he thinks, even though Trent had reassured him over and over again; he was surprised Clay even made it this far alive based on his injuries and the amount of blood lost with the fever. Ray was not having any of it. Brock was eerily quiet, even more so for him, as he only seemed to focus on the ground and Cerb, his telltale signs that he was trying to push all his feelings aside. Davis and Blackburn tried to hold it together, push their emotions to the side, and help lead the team. They felt the obligation to keep it together for everyone else to fall apart. Cerb was antsy and could tell something was wrong. His dad was upset, and his pup was missing, and he could not get the scent of blood out of his nose, constantly sniffing in the air and looking around. Trent, his head-focused medic, was frantic and would not rest or ease up even for a moment to make sure his own basic needs were met, and he had Clay's blood smeared into his hair from constantly rubbing his hands through it, his telltale sign. Liz was a complete mess. To anyone looking at her that did not know her, they would think she was oddly ok for the situation, minus the tears streaming down her face. But everyone close to her would know how broken she was inside. No one has seen her shed a tear, and that scared them. She was quiet and had no response to anyone. She blinked as needed and breathed to stay alive, but inside, she was gone. She was a shell of herself and would not be whole until she had her missing piece in her sight. In her arms.
On the other hand, Jason had no idea how he was functioning. This was the second time he had lost his boy in the last twenty-four hours. He was dead, then they found him, and he died when they left him. When they were not there with him, they lost him. It was a miracle they got him back when they found him laying there in the mud, sticky with blood and sweat, cold and stiff to the touch and yet burning hot at the same time. Motionless, eyes closed and so far out of their reach. But they managed to get him back and keep him with them while they brought him back to the plane and then home. They kept him safe, then gave him to the medics and lost him again. The guilt that weighed on his shoulders was unbearable. He lost and left him once in the forest, got him back, and then lost him again. What if they could not get him back? He could not live with himself and the guilt and knew his team felt the same. If Clay dies today, they all will, and things will never be the same. Bravo will never be Bravo.
