"Ugh, why did you have to be a walking, talking lesbian stereotype and leave all of your stupid… sexy… leather all over… my side of… the room…" What started off as a genuinely irritated rant at a roommate who wasn't even there quickly devolved into an unintentional clothing-sniffing fest. Laura buried her face into her girlfriend's trademark leather vest and smiled. In the back of her mind, she wondered if leather was like a Zoomer version of silk or velvet capes and cloaks for vampires. Every ye-olde boomer vampire Laura saw in textbooks wore long, dark capes or cloaks, but all the vampires Laura knew at Silas, especially Carmilla, loved leather. It wasn't just the vest, either.

The vest was the only thing of Carmilla's on Laura's side of the dorm. Laura knew that the rest of Carmilla's gay closet was overflowing with black leather. Boots, pants, belts, tops, corsets, jackets, jewelry like silver-studded cuffs… Laura wouldn't have been surprised to find black leather socks or black leather bras and underwear in there too!

Underwear… Carmilla's… Nopenopenope! It wasn't like Laura hadn't seen (or even done, hehehe) worse, but this was supposed to be a cleaning day, not a "get distracted thinking about your girlfriend every other second" day. Then again, that latter day happened a lot. Stupid, sexy, vampire!

Laura sighed and shook her head at herself. Quoting funny memes I saw on Tumblr at myself for being a useless lesbian? Yeah, that's… pretty useless lesbian of me, huh?

Now Laura couldn't help but wonder if that why Carmilla liked leather so much. The queer and leather communities had a lot of overlap and history, the same way queer youth were often associated with the internet, especially memey gay Tumblr blogs. (Laura Hollis, guilty as charged!)

"Sheesh, Creampuff, and they say cats are bad about nuzzling clothes when they miss the owner!"

"Oh, cheesiest crust!" Laura lurched forward, dropping Carmilla's leather vest and clutching her heart. Then her expression changed to one of absolute disbelief and dismay. "Of course you walk in right now, of all times!"

"Just in time to catch you red-handed, eh?" Carmilla quirked an eyebrow as she glided over to Laura, embracing her from behind. Laura lurched forward again, this time less violently, but she could feel her heart fighting to escape her chest. It mortified her to think that Carmilla could hear it. "God, you're such a stereotype!" Carmilla continued, purring into Laura's ear seductively. "Stealing your girlfriend's clothes…"

"I- I- I didn't do this!" Laura protested, craning her neck around to glare at Carmilla as best she could.

Awww, she even LOOKS like an angy little kitten! "Yeah, sure you didn't, sweetheart. My vest just materialized in your hand, hmm?"

Laura tossed the vest away immediately, not breaking Carmilla's gaze (ha ha, gayze). "Did you know? Did you leave it on my bed on purpose?!"

Did you know I would pick it up? Did you wait until you heard me to come back into the room?!

Carmilla only closed her eyes and shook her head with a playful, breathy chuckle. That was a secret she was taking to the grave! If there was one question she was willing to answer, however… "I don't wear leather solely for the queer connotations, but they certainly give me another reason to love it! I actually started experimenting with it a couple decades after I turned. Cliché, I know. But it was sexy, powerful, dark, dangerous, and more comfortable than I was expecting. You have no idea how hard it was to find comfortable clothing for women back then!"

"So, you were eavesdropping!" Laura cried, scandalized, but Carmilla only smirked at her and continued discussing queer fashion. "Lemme guess," Laura snorted bitterly, "My majestic array of flannel is what first put me on your gaydar?"

"Yep." Carmilla popped the "P". That was not the only thing, of course, but Laura did have a suspiciously high number of flannels. Flannel was to Laura what leather was to Carmilla, although unlike Carmilla, Laura did start wearing flannel solely for the lesbian connotations. As soon as she came out as gay and found out about the flannel thing, she and her father bought armload after armload of flannel that very day.

How sweet, Carmilla thought, nose crinkling, but even though she wasn't usually one for sap, she had to admit that the mental image of Tiny, Baby Gay Laura running around a rainbow shop of flannel and lesbianism was pretty cute. Plus, Laura looked good in flannel, especially when it was tied haphazardly around her waist while she wore a tank top that gave Carmilla a breathtaking view of her arms. Laura was no gym buff, but she had very nice arms. And maybe Laura was never trying for the skater girl look, but Carmilla thought of it every single time, and it was hot.

Stupid, sexy flannels! The vampire chuckled to herself as she watched Laura continue to clean her side of the room. "You might have to loan me some of your flannel some time," she finally said, half joking and half serious.

"Only if I get some of your leather," Laura didn't miss a beat.

"Enthusiastic little creampuff, aren't you?" Carmilla raised her eyebrows in pleasant surprise.

"W-wait. Wh-what? No! I—… What's that supposed to even mean, anyway?!" Laura blushed defensively again. "Did you know I would say that without thinking? Did you set me up?!"

"Cupcake. You always speak without thinking." Carmilla fought valiantly to maintain a poker face as she deadpanned, but she wasn't making it any easier on herself by continually poking Laura. Oh, but it's just too delicious! I just can't help myself!

As if on cue, Laura pouted and crossed her arms. "Hey!"

And it was all Carmilla could do not to laugh.

Even though she knew that the vampire could probably smell how fast her blood was pumping, or something crazy and supernatural like that, Laura grabbed a handful of flannel from her closet and flung it right at Carmilla's stupid, smug, snickering, fanged face.

"Thanks, creampuff." Carmilla's taunt was muffled by the flannel and Laura couldn't help but chuckle just a little bit.

Gosh darn it! She did it again! She made me laugh AND she made me laugh FIRST. UGH! When's poor tiny gay Laura's turn?! Isn't it Carmilla's turn to be the useless lesbian yet?!

While Laura immediately went back to pouting, Carmilla reveled in her victory, lying contently in a pile of warm, gay flannel and leather.

AN: In high school, I legit bought my first leather jacket because of Carmilla, and my first bunch of flannel because of Carmilla and the lesbian trope.