"So, you in a barbershop quartet?" Captain grinned through his beard.
"No." The man working on his face was unmoved. It was far from the first time he ever heard such joke.
"Well, I'd be down to let my hair down and form a two-person unit with you! A two-nit?" Captain pretended to be puzzled as he chuckled.
Maxim could only stare down at him blankly, unimpressed with his weak attempts at humor and wit.
"Tough crowd! Thought the joke would at least be original enough to surprise you!" Captain huffed, but it was obvious that it was a huff of laughter rather than frustration.
"Well," Maxim's mouth was moving before his mind, a rare thing for him, "I certainly was surprised. I just didn't think it was very funny. On the contrary, it felt rather forced." His words were brutal, but his tone was honest. The reason he hadn't reacted to Captain's joke wasn't to offend him, but because the wit wasn't clever enough.
"Oh! So I did surprise you, huh?" Captain looked pleased and Maxim's mind finally caught up with him.
Wh-what? What am I doing here? "That's… what I said, was it not?"
"Well, yes…" Captain raised his bushy brown eyebrows as he and Maxim locked eyes. Each man was enamored with the other, although not in the same way, and not in a way either man fully understood.
He's so… dry! Captain laughed inside. Maxim took everything too literally and seriously. It was charming, endearing, and hilarious. It was also part of the reason Captain loved joking with Maxim so much, his reactions were just too good, no matter what they were! But sometimes, the depth of his humorlessness could still surprise Captain. He would've gladly been the first to say that his joke was terrible—in fact, he regretted that he wasn't the first one to roast his own pun—but the joke was apparently so bad that it didn't even get an eyeroll or sarcastic remark from Maxim!
Just when I thought I couldn't receive a more insulting reaction than a negative one, I received nothing at all! Captain grinned again. Maxim really was something else. Plus, he was hadsome. Muscled, sculptled, strong, sturdy. He had dark skin and his cleanshaven head was smooth and shiny under the barbershop lights. Even though he would've done well to not be so grumpy and grouchy all the time, Captain found something stoic in Maxim's stern gaze and sharp face. It was the least expected crush Captain had ever had in his life, but it was real just the same. Why else would Captain keep coming back week after week despite hardly ever getting any work done on his beard?
It was something Maxim wondered all the time. He'd served Captain for the past several weeks and the man always had the same request. All he ever wanted was for Maxim to trim his beard. It seemed like a waste of time, energy, effort, and money every week, but Captain said that as long as Maxim didn't mind, he would like to keep coming back. As Maxim sensed no danger and felt no caution around Captain—expect for his painful puns and juvenile jokes—he saw no reason to deny the other man his request, strange though it was.
Despite himself, Maxim smirked at the memory of his first encounter with Captain. He was more bear than man, large and loud and covered in hair. Maxim wondered if he was about to request a full-body job, but in the end, all he talked about was his beard. When Maxim wrongly assumed that Captain wanted it shaved off, Captain had wrapped his arms protectively around it, stepping back with horror in his eyes.
"Just a trim, lad, just a trim!" he'd cried. "You don't have to hurt my poor beard! It never did anything to anyone!" And that was Maxim's first impression of Captain. A man who really loved his beard. Which made it all the stranger that someone who was supposedly so diligent with and devoted to his beard would come to a barbershop so frequently, and yet…
Doesn't he ever think he's paying too much for all of this? As a hairstylist, despite being bald, Maxim knew better than anyone how expensive good hygeine was. In fact, that was why he was entirely waxed and clean-shaven. In his words, keeping himself polished allowed him time to keep others polished. By contrast, Captain seemed to put all of his energy and effort into his beard, but not much else. Unlike Maxim, Captain was neither fit nor muscled, and his skin was neither smooth nor spotless. He was not unattractive, per se, but…Wait.
Why was Maxim thinking about that? Of course, it was normal for a stylist to analyze the aesthetics of their clients, but this was the first time Maxim ever caught himself doing it and suddenly felt… guilty? Why? What was different now than before? And all the while, Captain was still observing him with a smile hidden safely inside his beard.
Why, even now, he's off in his own little world! He doesn't even seem to wonder why I keep coming back here to tease him, specifically and him, every week! Maybe that's why you've got me so hooked, Maxy. You became an unintended rival of mine just because you're one of the few people seemingly immune to, or just unaware of, my devlish charms and humor! Captain's warm brown eyes closed in mirth.
Maybe that was how they started, but as the weeks passed, Captain began to genuinely enjoy his time with Maxim, and not just to tease him and flirt. In Maxim, Captain found someone he could vent to without feeling as though he was being a burden or a disappointment, just because Maxim had such a frank way of viewing problems. It was also unintended, but after one particularly bad week, when Captain came in for his weekly appointment with Maxim, he couldn't help but vent.
Only after did Captain realize that Maxim had treated him exactly the same when he was upset as he treated him when he was happy. (And it was really a match made in Heaven because, in Captain, Maxim had someone who was willing to listen to his thoughts and critiques of various aspects of life). Now, the only thing that prevented them from being a truly perfect pair was…
Uggghhh… When am I going to get the chance to just ask him? Captain complained. Knowing what a stone wall Maxim was, it would probably be a while more. Unless Captain made his love confession as obvious as (pun intended) straightforward as humanly possible, it would fly right over Maxim's head. On the plus side, that forces me to be really honest and clear!
The hope was that this intense level of, and devotion to, avoiding misunderstandings would benefit Captain in the long run, but that didn't stop his thinking from ultimately being wishful. He had no idea if Maxim felt the same way for him, or for any man—or person in general—at all.
But my stupid, stupid heart had to go and make me interested in a guy who shows no interest in anything or anyone. Maybe Maxim's right, maybe I AM the idiot after all! Ugh, why does my brain have to work like that? Why does it have to be so brain cell-less?
At last, Maxim and Captain were on the same wavelength, but like ships in the night, they passed right by one another.
I wish I could ask him, but that's probably improper. Maxim's thoughts were not as fretful as Captain's, rather, they were calm and matter-of-fact, just like him, but he was still wondering about Captain and making excuses about why he couldn't ask.
I'm just one of his hairstylists. He was Captain's only hairstylist. So I don't really get paid enough to care. For once, money had nothing to do with it.
But neither man was quite ready to ask. Lucky for both of them, they had a beard to give them as long as they needed.
AN: I know this is more slang than symbol, but it's based around the phrase "be someone's beard", which means be their opposite-sex partner to help them pass as straight.
