I do not own Hetalia okay? I love seeing how much you guys love my "Of the heart" or as I call it on Ao3 Historical Heart. It makes me feel so good about my writing and self. But you don't want to hear about that. So enough of this A/N, on with the fic!

December 30th 1918

(from the diary of Ivan Braginsky)

For some reason it does not feel like the homecoming I had expected. Yes I had expected Fredka's jokes about me "hooking up" with Lucille and insisting I deserved such a "classy lady" as she was, which caused Lucille to laugh. It must be her upbringing she was able to laugh and introduce herself and then go on her way. I swear despite being stuck with her high society family for nearly 5 months, I will never understand their ways. Seemed like nothing but airs. Then again they are French. I have never understood Frenchmen. Of any class. Although I can understand what they say a little better now. So there is that. I took no real offense to Fredka's joke. I know where it came from. He wants only the best for me. He would die for me, give his all for his family which he considers me a part of. But when it comes to matters of the heart, I know what I want and what I cannot have. I want him. When he wrapped my scarf around himself and held on rather close, I felt my heart rush. I had wanted something like this. But it's something I could never have, even if he wasn't married. I would ruin the friendship and he would not return the feelings the same way. There is only one person who knows, and that is because she had figured it out from my mannerisms when I talked about him and that was Lucille. Being French, it does not bother them as much. (And to be honest she thinks that her brother and Colonel Kirkland care for each other in a romantic manner as well. She obviously does not like her sister in law that much.) But she will keep my confidence as I had begged her to. And yes I don't know what has come over me since the war and injury I have had rather well French dreams involving just Fredka and I.

But when I saw the children again, I don't know what came over me. I was so happy to see them. And little Ivan and Anya, to think that I had held such a place in their hearts that they would name their children after me, as according to Katyusha Anya was the name Mama and Papa had for me if I was a girl, and I come back a broken man, I feel like I shamed their name. Not to mention as much as I hate to agree with Alice on the matter. She feels like the end of the war is only a calm. Like something worse could come from this. While no official treaty has been signed on hammering out a peace, with the Bonnefoys being such a prominent family, I do recall one politician saying that this would only be a 20 year armistice. And if that is the case, then what I fought for, in a so called "war to end all wars" and what I sacrificed would lead to something much worse that Nikolai and little Ivan would have to fight. And who knows what weapons man could come up with to kill each other then. And it was when I was meeting the twins that Marshal Foch's words came into my mind. And I just couldn't stand being around them anymore. I just could not. It is like it is a damper on the one thing I had persevered for. Sure one could tell me to work for a better world, or just focus on them and not worry about what happens but the bigger things drag the innocent in, chew them up and spit them out. I know they will grow up and face problems but it should be ones that don't mean a thing. Not ones like I had to.

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. Historical fun fact, right the Treaty of Versailles, which imposed the harsh conditions on Germany that many said lead to the rise of the Nazis and World War II was not passed with the November 11th 1918 armistice but in June of 1919 and some like French politician Marshal Foch did say it was nothing but a 20 year armistice. French Prime Minister Clemenceau commented on the day the armistice was signed on 11 November 1918, "We have won the war: now we have to win the peace, and it may be more difficult. So imagine that ringing in your already scarred mind thinking your little children would grow up to go to something much worse. Because the growth of technology from the late 1800s to World War 1 left so many with ideas that anything was possible. And looking as we can from 100 years in the future we see just how things changed between two wars. It's fascinating and I suggest Indy Nidell's Youtube channels to get a good idea of it. Anyway, mini history class aside, so remember to read (well you just did) and review. Ciao for now,

otherrealmwriter

aka

Realm.