I don't own Hetalia okay? I honestly don't have much to say on this one so enough of the A/N, on with the fic!
May 5th 1919
(From the Journal of Lucille Bonnefoy)
Today was rather somber. At least in my mind. I had not spoken to Ivan since I had arrived here. That in and of itself should have worried me. I had asked him to write if he did not want to visit and he did not even do that. He has gone back to the work he had before the war. However, that is not helping him much. I had hoped it would as he was working with his best friend Alfred may have helped him, that his life going back to before the war would help him. However, I guess, some wounds may never heal. I told him that Nikolai, his oldest nephew, the one he spoke so much to me of back in France would be having a birthday at the end of the month. To this I was told "I do not think I shall attend." I got up and smacked him for that one.
"You can isolate yourself from your sisters and your best friend and brother in law, but your niece and nephews! What is wrong with you!" It may have been harsh for me to do something like that but he is being ridiculous. Besides, I had been informed of Ivan being awarded some medals for his actions and bravery in the war that I wanted him to get on memorial day, which is Nikolai's birthday. I think little Nikolai would be proud to see his favorite uncle honored so. However, it was something else that I might be a little more forgiving on that Ivan had brought up in our discussion when I had brought in some tea. His feelings for Alfred. He loves him so and knows, nothing would be able to come of it. He questions if he didn't introduce him to his sister to keep him closer to make up for it. It's a lot to bear, I know and I am assuming in his mind the way it is it wonders more. His family loves him so and it is paining them to not have the brother and uncle they knew back. I had told him it was Natalya who had written to me and made me want to come all the way here and talk to him about how they were feeling. This seemed to strike something in him.
"I feel like I am a burden to them." He had told me. I had told them he would only be a burden if he made himself one. He still works. That is already a big achievement in comparison to other veterans I have seen in similar injuries. I told him by not trying to get back with the children, not being involved with the family, he is being a burden. They made the accommodations they did because they loved him, and want him to get back to as normal a life as can be. It only becomes a burden if he does not try to show them the love they had given him as it makes them feel unwanted. I told him then firmly that on the 31st I will have him, Nikolai and his whole family at the Plaza for a special little get together and there would be no ifs ands or buts as they say here about it. Ivan is a very close confidant of mine and I hope he sees the same for me. He told me about his love of Alfred and that is only between him and I. All I can hope for now is that my words struck some sort of accord and he will move on.
So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. I don't know when I will be able to update again. Work, school and various projects for both make things hard to get what I like doing done. I don't have much to say other than remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,
Otherrealmwriter
Aka
Realm
