I don't own Hetalia okay? I honestly don't have much to say on this one so enough of the A/N, on with the fic!

May 5th 1919

(From the Journal of Ivan Braginsky)

Well they say that French women are fiery when they want to be. Lucille certainly was today. I had not thought of things like she had told me. And I had completely forgotten that the 31st of this month was Nikolai's birthday. I am his favorite uncle! My legs may not work anymore but my brain should be fine! Why am I forgetting something as important as that and someone like Lucille who has no real connection to him remembering it. It should be ashamed of myself. And yes I do love Fredka so much and sometimes wish I was Natalya but I have a duty as his best friend to be such to him. He sees me a lot like an older brother. Not just his wife's brother, but a best friend as well. I have been letting him down. Lucille explained to me that my burdening them is not the accommodations they have done for me. It is the worry I have put on their hearts by not even attempting to socialize with them. To leave Nikolai, little Ivan and Anya with only their Uncle Matthew to play with. Although I should humor Katyusha and have those sit down talks with a fellow veteran she thinks might help me.

Lucille, once done scolding me like she did tell me of some new styles she wanted to experiment with dealing with expressionism and surrealism. Frankly, I do not know much about art or its modern movements but suggested that something like that might be an avenue to help me get the feelings out of my head, the nightmares and such that happen. Frankly, I am not very artistically inclined, I don't think I am. But it sounds interesting. Katyusha said I always seemed handy at wood crafting. Maybe carve some toys for the children. Show them Uncle Ivan hasn't forgotten about them. It has gotten me thinking that Nikolai must be so sad. I mean before I left he looked forward to going to the beach so much. I am sure we can find something to do together.

And when Lucille left, Katyusha had come back with Matthew. I honestly don't know how to feel about it. I mean I am certain he would treat her better than any other man had treated her before and I have ways to make sure that is the case, what with Matthew staying over with Fredka and Natalya and I plan to meet up with Fredka and the children more after what Lucille had told me. She was right they are going to be hurt more than the adults would. They don't care about things like the chair. And if there was one thing that kept me going through that hell, it was the fact I would see them again and the fact that Fredka and Natalya thought so much of me to name their twins…. I must not let this change who I am.

That reminds me, I must get to work on a boat for Nikolai's birthday. 4 years old already….

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. I don't know when I will be able to update again. Work, school and various projects for both make things hard to get what I like doing done. I don't have much to say other than remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,

Otherrealmwriter

Aka

Realm