I do not own Hetalia, okay? I know it has been a while since I updated this fic, but I do plan to have this story go to the end. Anyway, enough of this A/N, on with the fic!

July 4th, 1919

(From the diary of Matthew Williams)

It was so great that Katy had convinced Ivan to go with Al, Nataly and the kids to the beach for his birthday this year. It let us have the house to ourselves until they came back for the fireworks tonight when we went figured we would do that. I needed Katy with me because when I first came back, the shell shock was so bad that a truck backfiring would have me thinking I was still in France. War's over, I'm not there. But it's easier if I am expecting it like on the 4th of July and all. I still get a little jittery and worried but when Katy put her hand on mine, it helped calm me down almost to the point I could actually enjoy it without thinking about the war. It's over. I'm home. Well maybe not entirely home. I miss being a Mountie. I'm so glad they let this event happen despite the pandemic. I still think I brought it home for Al to catch back last year. Katy said he could have picked it up anywhere, but I swear Natalya blames me. I've told Katy this and she said that's just her way. Still don't understand what the hell Al sees in her.

I do love her, Katy, I really do, and I wish I could just move back to Canada with her. But she would not leave her brother. I understand why she couldn't. She knows that Al and Natalya would take care of him but at the same time, they have 3 kids and that might be too much for both of them to handle and Natalya may be fierce but not as strong as Katy is and would have a hard time if Ivan needed help and Al wasn't around. Although to be fair, those two are around each other a lot. They work at the same place. He's pretty much seeing Ivan as his older brother. It would be nothing for them to take care of him.

Okay, so I guess it is kind of selfish for me to want that when my employment options aren't what they used to be, and I don't want to have Katy work any more than she has. She doesn't mind, but I do. If we are to have a future, I am going to have to take care of her. And possibly Ivan I guess, and I don't care, but yet I do. I feel like she worries about Ivan more than she does herself or me. I mean she was helping me recover and deal with it before he came back. Yet he's her brother. They're all each other has….. arrrrrrrgh! It's so frustrating to have these thoughts and just to try to deal with everything. I was hoping one day to have a house and wife of my own, but this damned war messed everything up for me. I mean before Ivan came back and we found out he was paralyzed I was thinking about it with Katy, I mean I do like her… oh well, I really should get to sleep before Natalya and Al lose themselves. I know when they get at it. How their kids sleep though that I don't know but they do get loud when they don't watch what they are doing. Al may have more kids if he isn't careful.

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. This story is intended to stand independent of both The Longing of the Heart and The Healing of the Heart which this story will have a difference from both naturally. Now if this will be as long as those, that I do not know yet and I won't update as fast as some of the others I have. But anyway, remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,

Otherrealmwriter

Aka

Realm