I do not own Hetalia, okay? I know it has been a while since I updated this fic, but I do plan to have this story go to the end. Anyway, enough of this A/N, on with the fic!
July 4th, 1919
(From the diary of Katyusha Braginsky)
I am so conflicted. Today Vanya went with Fredka and Natalya's family to the beach in New Jersey and it seems the trip did good for his spirts and I have to say I loved having Matvey with me all alone. He's so smart and strong. And well written as well. I have read many of the articles the newspaper had him write. I love keeping them with me. He is so handy as well, there were a few faucets that needed fixing. Sometimes I don't want to mention it because it was not causing a problem, nor did I want Vanya to feel like he must do something when he cannot or try too hard or feel bad. Spending the whole day with him up until the fireworks was fun. And honestly I knew that Matvey may have some flashbacks with the explosions, but he kept holding my hand more than usual. I know why, we both feel it, but honestly, I don't know what we can do.
I cannot just run off with Matvey, I owe it to Vanya to help take care of him. Matvey did casually say that Fredka would be more than willing to take care of him, but it still does not seem right. I wish we could. Matvey wishes we could, but that is the crux of it all. At least he understands. I could not bear to give my heart to a man who wouldn't understand that. It has been broken too many times. I am seeping some chamomile in some vodka to help Vanya get to rest hopefully he can ease off it. He does have times where all he does is stay up at night awake. And with prohibition coming up soon, it will be harder and harder to get the vodka and I do not want him becoming dependent on it. Him getting outside and having contact with Fredka and the children do wonders. I remember the letters from the war where he waxed on how much he missed them. And part of the reason I want him to get an Xray. Sometimes things he describes make me think it is nothing more than slow healing soft tissue injury. I made the mistake of mentioning it to him when he was depressed and he exclaimed it was hopeless, it had been over 9 months since the injury had happened that it was likely permanent. I don't know. I still pray for him. I hope there is a miracle. If anyone deserves it, it is him. He worked so hard to get us to America, to make sure we are taken care of.
If I must be honest, if I were to be granted one wish, it is to have Vanya healed and to be able to move with Matvey back to Canada. He told me about some of the lands that were open for farming out west in Canada and it sounded lovely. I do wish for it. But things are the way they are. I wish I could change things, but they are what they are, and I guess I am blessed Matvey is understanding enough about this all. I just wish we could go further. Vanya does say he thinks Matvey is a fine man but still….
It is getting late, I should go to sleep but I am listening to make sure Vanya does get to sleep. He was very happy coming home, but I do not want that to falter.
So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. This story is intended to stand independent of both The Longing of the Heart and The Healing of the Heart which this story will have a difference from both naturally. Now if this will be as long as those, that I do not know yet and I won't update as fast as some of the others I have. But anyway, remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,
Otherrealmwriter
Aka
Realm
