Author's Note: Hello everyone and welcome back to "The Winter Child!" =D Today's chapter is a pretty special one (well, I mean not scpeical, but kind of is since it's based off a little bit of myself ='D).

I didn't notice this until the situationmy family was in about a month ago, but I'm actually not the greatest at telling people how I'm feeling...at all. ='D I mean, I'll say I'm upset, but I won't say why I'm upset. Or I'll just pretend everything's fine when it really isn't, and I'll bottle up how I'm feeling until reality says "Hello, Moon! We can no longer keep your dam closed, so we're just going to break open the emotional river now!" and I become a complete mess. ='D

When I wrote this, we were just getting out of that situation we were having, but I was still reflecting on some of the conversations I had with my dad and my mom. So this chapter holds a special place in my heart, since it's based a bit off of my own personal experiences and feelings. =3

So with that, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! =D


~ LXVIII ~

Nothing to Fear

Though the terror was over

The nightmare had ended

Remnants of it, he still remembered

Reliving that moment of his life

When he nearly drowned into endless night

Jack would wake up in a fright

Until North provided him some light

...

It was cold. It was dark. And he was scared.

The burning sensation in his lungs came immediately when he fell under. He was supposed to be immune to the cold, but he could feel frostbite sinking its teeth into his skin. His nose stung and exploded, like a thousand fireworks bursting into his nostrils. The FEarlings surrounded him, like boa constrictors, wrapping their shadow forms and choking him of life.

Jack squeezed his eyes shut, tears slipping through as he forced his limbs to work—move out of the murk, but his arms and legs wouldn't obey. He was a stone, sinking to the bottom. He was a ragdoll, lifeless and weak. He was the prey and the Fearlings were the predators.

He was being eaten by darkness.

Jack jerked and twisted, trying to fight against the Fearling's possession, but they dragged him, down, down, down into the depths of the lake. His movements became inert and the last of his oxygen was squeezed out. He closed his eyes, allowing darkness to claim him…

But down there in the lake, it was already pitch black.

Jack snapped awake with a sharp gasp. His heart beat against his chest like a drum and panic coursed through his veins. The sixteen-year-old looked around frantically, his vision still blurry with sleep. When his sight cleared, he found that he was safe and sound in his bedroom. The Wind lulled outside, making the nearby branches sway. A full moon was out tonight.

Jack groaned softly and he buried his head in his hands. His brow was beaded with sweat. It had been three weeks since the drowning incident, but his nightmares were still insistent. Jack had dreamsand on his side, but the night terrors still found ways to slip into his mind.

The snow sprite hadn't told anyone about his nightmares apart from Sandy, who had kindly given him a pouch of golden sand to use if he feared he'd have a nightmare. The Sandman hadn't told the others (Jack's request), but he heavily suggested that he told someone apart from him. And with his images, it was implied that someone Sandy wanted Jack to tell was North.

The two had been…a little out of sorts lately since The Incident (which was what Jack referred to it so he wouldn't evoke any memories). Though Jack had explained why he had left, North still grounded him for leaving the house. Jack wasn't allowed to see any of his friends after school, and nor was he allowed to leave home unless North gave him permission. Since then, the two hadn't been communicating much, and an invisible barrier had come between them. Jack, irked with North, was more reserved than he usually was. And whenever North tried to prod him, the snow sprite would get annoyed. Jack didn't stop down by the study to see what North was up to anymore, and dinners together were thick with stiff, dolorous silence.

Jack knew that he was acting distant, but he didn't know what to do in the given situation. He didn't feel like talking, and he most definitely didn't want to talk about he felt. He thought that if he bottled things up long enough, the pesky emotions would leave him alone. But so far, the situation was only getting worse, as Jack felt as if he would burst at any moment.

At the same time, Jack did feel guilty for being so surly. He knew that it was a reckless idea to go out alone, and an even more reckless one to bring Jamie with him. But he was sixteen, and he wanted to do things on his own and be independent. Jack hadn't left the village on his own in years, and a small part of him was beginning to feel as if the village was…becoming a bit dull.

He knew the place inside out and upside down. There wasn't as much adventure as there was when he had been a child. Out there, beyond Santoff Claussen's borders, was a whole wide Tsardom full of different kinds of people, lands, and places…Jack wanted to explore it. He wanted to explore it all. Even though he and Jamie left just a couple of miles from the village, the feeling of leaving the village still felt wondrous to him.

But now that he had his independence stripped from him, Jack realized how he took it for granted. He couldn't even leave the house now without North having to know where he was.

Jack frowned, and he slipped out of bed, knowing that he wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon. Usually, when he had nightmares, he'd dose himself with some dreamsand, but the snow sprite didn't want to become too reliant on it to sleep. And he didn't feel like going back to sleep again anyway.

Jack slowly opened his bedroom door and peeked out, ignoring the slight tremble that shook his body at the sight of darkness. The snow sprite quickly formed a small icicle, which glowed a soft bright blue. Jack felt his fear ebb away, made his way down the stairs, and entered the kitchen.

Jack placed his icicle down on the kitchen table and sat down, his thoughts swirling in his head. What was he going to do? He couldn't go on like this. North still didn't know about his nightmares, and Jack wasn't planning on telling him. But if he didn't, Sandy probably would for him, which would force the two to have to face each other after several weeks of avoiding each other.

Jack sighed. This was going to be a long—

"Jack?"

Jack gasped sharply, and he whirled around, spotting North standing in the stairwell. The ex-Cossack was in his robe and houseshoes. Jack assumed that he must've heard him when he got out of bed. The snow sprite chastised himself for not being more careful.

North's eyes were still on Jack, and the snow sprite hadn't spoken. So, North asked, "What are you doing up so late?"

Jack fingered his pajama sleeve and shrugged. "I just…got up to get some water, that's all."

Even Jack could hear the hesitation in his voice as he spoke. North's eyes bore into him, questioning. Jack chewed his lip, knowing that he knew he lied, but instead of stating so, North said, "Come, I'll make you hot chocolate. Then we can sit on the couch for a while."

Jack was surprised, but he didn't argue as North entered the kitchen. He lit a few candles before getting out the ingredients for hot chocolate. Jack watched as he did so, but he got up to grab the mugs from the cabinet and placed them beside the ex-Cossack. North muttered a quick thank you, and Jack nodded before sitting back in his seat at the table.

The snow sprite watched as North prepared the hot chocolate. The two were silent as the water boiled, and even after when North poured the beverage out. He handed Jack his mug, reminding him that was hot, and Jack took it, his eyes watching as the hot chocolate swirled in his cup. Jack always feared dropping his mug whenever it was filled with something, so he often kept his eyes locked on it to make sure that he didn't drop it.

North walked into the living room, and Jack followed him. He could run away from this, knowing that North wouldn't pull him back downstairs if he fled back to his bedroom. North allowed Jack to sit down first. The ex-Cossack to his spot next to Jack once the snow sprite had seated himself.

At first, the two sipped their hot chocolate in silence. Then, North asked the question that Jack had been dreading answering. "What is going on, moy mal'chik? You haven't been acting yourself."

He spoke so gently, that Jack almost wanted to tell him everything, but at the same time, he was scared too. What if he got upset with him? What if it didn't change anything? Jack gripped his mug and looked down, his blue eyes locked on the ripples of his hot cocoa.

North placed a hand on Jack's shoulder, and the snow sprite looked up. North's gaze was soft.

"You know you can tell me anything," he whispered.

Jack's grip on his hot chocolate loosened, and his eyes stung. The snow sprite turned away, drawing in a shuddering breath.

"I…um…It's…" Jack let out a humorless laugh. Come on, stop being stupid— "I, uh…guess I'm still…reeling a little…from what happened a few weeks ago."

Jack gripped his mug again. "A-And, I know it's stupid…It's been three weeks, almost a month. I should be over this by now, but…it's just…since what happened, everything's changed. I'm stuck here at home and I can't even go to school anymore without people staring at me. Katherine and Jamie treat me normally, but even I can see that they're a little less comfortable around me. And I guess I can't blame them. I mean, if my best friend almost killed, I'd probably be scared of them too…

Jack trembled. "But that's not even it. I can't even sleep at night anymore without reliving the moment I almost drowned. I…I'm still scared…not that it's going to happen again, but I just can't help but think what if? And the thoughts just won't leave me alone for a moment, and they're always wondering what would've happened if I hadn't had a stroke of luck? What if I did drown? What if I…"

Jack's breathing hitched and he shook his head. "I almost died," he croaked. "And if the waters wouldn't have killed me, then those Fearlnigs that possessed me afterward sure would've." I just don't—"

Suddenly, Jack was pulled into a hug, and he gasped at the sudden motion. He felt North's arms wrap around him tightly, the warmth and comfort that came from them. Jack's eyes stung once again, but this time, he didn't stop the tears from falling. He buried himself into North's embrace, trembling. North wove his hand through his hair, and Jack felt himself soften.

"This won't ever happen again, moy mal'chik," North said, his voice sounding on the verge of tears himself. "And…I know that it's been a rough few weeks, but everything I've done was only to protect you."

"I…I know…" Jack said. He sniffed. "I really shouldn't have left…"

"No, you shouldn't have," North said. He held Jack closer. "But even if you do run away, I will come after you. And I will protect you from whatever harm comes your way. I promise."

North continued to hug and caressed Jack's head until he began to calm down. The snow sprite soon stopped trembling, and his breathing leveled out into steady, even breaths. North continued to hold him. And, finally calmed, he allowed his eyes to slip shut.


Author's Note: Wahhhh, Jackie Boy, I feel like I made you too relatable. TwT

But is that a bad thing? I don't think so. =) I really love to convey emotions through characters that everyone can connect to or recognize. I've been reading a lot of shojo manga lately, and I think this is where this sudden urge to "make my characters emotionally relatable to everyone!" sprouted up from. XD Though this is something I think I've always liked to do, even though I didn't know how to word it. =D

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you all in the next one. ^u^

Until the next chapter!

~BeyondTheMoon1203