Isaac looked at the woman just a few feet from him, sitting at a desk with a datapad in her hands, only having glanced up at him for a brief moment. Setting the datapad down, she stood up and walked over to Isaac, "That is your name, correct? Do you understand me? Are you aware of your surroundings at the moment?" She snapped her fingers in front of his face, then quickly began to flash a light into his eyes, "I see there's no signs of concussions or head trauma. The toxin's been flushed from your system. You've been recovering the last day while mumbling in your sleep. Ah, forgive me, I should introduce myself. Doctor Chakwas, I ensure the team is fully capable and healthy during their time on the Normandy SR-2."
Isaac blinked, finally getting the light out of his eyes as he looked at her, "... I've been out for a day? Jesus… Yeah, I'm aware. I'm feeling a lot better since-..." Suddenly, it all came rushing back to him. The gangsters of Omega, the defense with Garrus - speaking of which… "What happened? Where's Garrus? Did he make it?" There was clear worry and concern in his voice, fearful that he somehow made it out and Garrus didn't. The whole time they were stuck there, they fought together and swore to each other to escape. All he could remember in the midst of his delirious and feverish time were voices talking…
"Garrus is fine. He took some damage but he's always been a rather stubborn and tough Turian. After a short time of being in the infirmary, he's already put himself to work here on the Normandy. You may see him if you like, but I must warn you, this is a vessel currently in the midst of a classified mission and you may find yourself somewhat restricted in what you can ask and where you can go unless clearance is granted. Before you go anywhere, the Commander asked me to bring him to you once you were awake. EDI, will you ask Commander Shepard to come to the Med-Bay? Isaac's woken up," She said, speaking into a blue holographic light that popped up the second it was called.
"At once, Doctor Chakwas."
After a moment of silence, EDI spoke again, "Commander Shepard will be down at once."
Isaac stared at the light for as long as it was there, then turned his attention back to Chakwas, "What was that? Some kind of ship AI or something?"
"Precisely what she is, Mister Clarke. A very advanced AI capable of running the ship with the proper amount of shackles to ensure she remains…" She seemed to be looking for the right words, "... Without too much control, I suppose. She is a very helpful asset to the team, much to the dismay of our pilot. But if she makes our job and ship efficiency easier, I see no problem with having her aboard."
"She?" Isaac asked, "You refer her to like she's a person. But AIs just AI, right?"
"I suppose that would be the most logical way to view it, but once you've spoken to her enough times, she's practically another crewmate," As Chakwas finished her sentence, Commander Shepard walked through the door, "Ah, Commander, there you are. I shall leave you two to it from here. I'll be in the mess hall for now," She saluted the Commander, then left the Med-Bay.
"Thank you, Chakwas," Shepard watched her go, then stepped in front of Isaac, "I take it you're feeling better? Doctor Chakwas is an excellent doctor. You're already not as pale as you were before."
Isaac nodded, feeling somewhat ashamed for the state he'd been found in. He wanted to help Garrus escape, not burden him, "Yeah, sorry about - having to rescue me. More than once. Big galaxy but I've already run into you again," Isaac let out a sort of half-chuckle, hoping Shepard didn't find their encounters suspicious. He was already a man with no identification, unsure of where he was, foreign to the world and at the wrong place at the wrong time more than once now. Coincidences are coincidences but that doesn't stop sensible people from feeling like something is off.
"I am surprised to see you again after Freedom's Progress. Then again, I suppose I shouldn't be," Shepard pulled up a chair, sitting next to Isaac, "I know you were headed for Omega, trying to find a ride back to Alliance Space from there. Earth, right? Once I'd heard about the lockdown, I wondered if you'd be getting off-station. Guess I figured out my answer. There's just a couple things I'm wondering, Isaac," Shepard paused for a moment. His demeanor was very friendly, but he had a very no-nonsense way about speaking. His eyes slightly narrowed, and perhaps, this was where the suspicion was setting in, "I have to be honest - while finding you on Omega wasn't the most shocking thing that could happen, coming across you fighting side-by-side with Garrus was. How did you get wrapped up with him?"
"I… Was looking for him. I'm just gonna be totally honest - cause I don't think lying to you would really work out for me. Once I hit Omega, Aria took an interest in me. I'm sure I don't have to tell you who she is. Big queen of Omega, right?" Isaac scratched the back of his neck, hoping this story wouldn't land him in some kind of space prison, "Said I could do things for her and she could do things for me since I don't have any real ID. Wanted me to do some work. At first, I did it for the creds. I needed a way off the station and paying for a ride was gonna be my best bet. But it got complicated."
"The lockdown," Shepard guessed.
"Yeah, exactly. Whole station gets shut down and now I'm stranded. Aria said she was fine with the lockdown because she didn't exactly want people running around spreading the plague everywhere in the galaxy. If there was a major outbreak, a lot of people would suffer. Still, she was willing to book me a private passage if I did something for her. A special favor. Archangel - Garrus - was causing a lot of trouble and problems. She either wanted me to bring her to him alive so they could talk and work something out or bring her his head. Went to find him. I wanted to talk to him. Convince him. I promise you - I would've done a lot to get off the station - but I would not have killed an innocent man," Isaac looked into Shepard's eyes, showing him the sincerity of his soul and his words as he looked at him. Isaac may have killed others in the past, but he didn't consider himself a murderer. Not someone who would kill in cold blood. Doing work for Aria was as close as he ever wanted to come to being a killer or criminal, "I wanted to work something out. But shit hit the fan and it hit hard. You probably know the rest from there."
Shepard seemed satisfied with his answer, "I got Garrus' side of the story already. He doesn't seem to think you ever considered hurting him or betraying him to the Blue Suns or Aria. I'd like to think Garrus is a good judge of character. You helped him when he needed it most - even if you went down, don't be ashamed. It could've been him. And we both agree you wouldn't have abandoned him if the worst came to happen. He did tell me something interesting. He said you were an extremely capable fighter - you were quick-thinking, efficient, used your surroundings, improvised tactics and kept a level-head," Shepard paused for a moment, then stood from his seat, "You're currently aboard the Normandy SR-2. An extremely advanced warship that was reconstructed by Cerberus for the sole purpose of giving me the resources I needed to stop a threat to humanity. You've encountered them on Freedom's Progress. They're called the Collectors, and they've been confirmed to be kidnapping human colonies by the dozens and people by the thousands. Entire colonies empty in a moment's notice. You survived it, you know how harrowing it can be. To properly fight the Collectors and figure out what exactly they want with humans, I'm assembling the best of the best. A team of highly skilled and efficient people to help me take them down. From what I remember, Isaac, you're a man lost - in an unknown place. But you have real skills. I think you'd make a fine addition to the Normandy's crew. I'd like to see your potential grow and realize yourself in this world. I know you have business on Earth, and we can certainly head there, but for now -" Shepard extended a hand out, "I'd like you to join me."
This was happening again. Isaac never claimed to be especially skilled or a good fighter or even the heroic type wanting to save the galaxy and universe. When his own home world was going to be destroyed by the Marker threat, he wanted to bury his head in the sand. Forget. Live a peaceful and loving, warm life with Ellie. Not worry about necromorphs and death and destruction. He was always getting pulled into things greater than him and he only ever came out the other end bruised, scarred and traumatized. At least this confirmed it - those weren't necromorphs that showed up on Freedom's Progress. This galaxy had its own monsters - the Collectors. It offered him something of a slight inner-peace knowing he was safe from their reach here. Still, this was a lot to consider. Especially because this would only slow him down. Gunfights, death and killing wasn't something he was itching to do. He only cared about one thing… "Commander, I'm… Extremely grateful that you've saved me. You brought me here and got me medical attention and I doubt I could ever repay that. But I just… Can't afford anymore distractions. Out there - there might be someone else where I came from. A woman. A woman that I love. I'm trying to find her. The last thing I ever told her was to head back to Earth. If she's here, by any miracle, I need to make sure. I don't even know how - or where I'd even start if I got there. But I can't do anything else until I know she's either here or she's not."
Shepard looked like he understood, "I don't want to keep you from your personal business, Isaac. It concerns me that you're unsure of where you are, without legal papers, without money and without a clue how anything works. I don't know where you've come from or how you got here, but I can promise you this - Here on the Normandy, I'll give you more than a gun in your hand. Purpose. A life. By the time we're done with the mission, you'll be able to be your own man in this galaxy. I'll have you with proper papers, with a proper job, a home and more. I'll help you recognize and become familiar with the way our world works. The places, the people, the cultures. You name it. And if you come aboard with us, I'll get you to Earth personally the second we have the time to spare. I promise you - we WILL have time for it. Take a chance with my team, Isaac."
His words resonated with him. Internally, there was a considerable amount of self-doubt that told Isaac Ellie wasn't here. That this Earth wouldn't be a place he recognized and he was just chasing a ghost. Perhaps because he was afraid that without Ellie, his reason for existing would simply disappear. What did he have here if not her? Absolutely nothing. If Shepard could give him something… Maybe he should just take it. Isaac's hand clasped around Shepard's, "All right, Commander, I'll do it. Just… Please have a moment to help me with what I need. If she's out there, I need to find her."
"You have my word, Isaac. We'll look for her in Alliance Space as soon as we have time." Shepard's voice didn't have a hint of dishonesty in it. Isaac could feel a heightened sense of confidence and morale just hearing him talk. No wonder this guy was leading, he thought, "There's a number of places available on the Normandy currently free for someone to take a room in. Is there a particular type of spot you'd prefer?"
"Honestly, I just need a bed and a place I can be by myself for a bit. I'm pretty handy with tools, so if you want to put me near a place I can put myself to work, that could be good." Isaac answered him.
EDI spoke up, "There's a vacant area underneath the Engineering Deck, so long as you don't mind dark and cold, Mister Clarke."
"Of course, we'll make sure it's comfortable for you. I'll have someone put in simple bedding and any necessities you might need. If you want to do some work for the Normandy, there's a variety of jobs you can take on. If you're good with tools, the Engineering Deck could use an extra hand. Garrus has a pretty big gun to calibrate, if you want to help him out. He'd probably want to see you as well." Shepard told him.
"I think that'll all work. Thank you for taking me aboard, Commander. I won't let you down," Isaac promised. He was giving him more than an eventual ride to Earth. When everything was said and done, it would be better to be able to live a safe, responsible and normal life here in this world. Aria offered the other side of the coin - keep the anonymity. Work for her. Kill for her. But Isaac wasn't looking to become a hardened criminal. His brief time working with her was as far as he wanted to go. There was even a lingering feeling of regret knowing what he'd involved himself with just for money. Hopefully she doesn't take it personally when he disappears.
While Isaac got some other crew members to assemble a makeshift room for Isaac underneath the Engineering Deck, he got himself over to Garrus, currently calibrating the Normandy's weapons. Approaching through the sliding doors, Garrus instantly turned around to see Isaac coming through, "So you're still kicking. I heard Doctor Chakwas was able to get that toxin flushed out of your system." Garrus spoke with a slightly strained expression. Isaac was quick to notice the bandages around his face, hiding a recovering wound.
"Yeah, thank God for that. I never wanna be that delirious again," Isaac said, a bit embarrassed at the total loss of his own mind when he was back there, "I heard you fought like hell to keep us alive. I just wanted to come by and thank you for what you did. And say I'm glad you got out of that alive too. Mostly," He joked, referring to the wound on Garrus' face.
Garrus was able to see the humor in it, letting out a half-hearted chuckle but his spirits weren't completely there, "... Yeah, 'course. I'm glad I was able to hold out long enough for help to arrive. Don't feel bad, Isaac. The toxin took you out of the fight but you were impressive for someone who supposedly doesn't have any real combat training. I thought for sure we could do something together, before the toxin spread. But there'll be plenty of opportunities now that you've joined the team. EDI spread the word fast, letting everyone know of the Commander's decision to recognise you as a member of the crew. Welcome aboard."
"Thanks for the welcome," Isaac smiled, but still felt uncomfortable with the aura that Garrus was putting out, "... Thinking about your crew?" He asked him, trying to say everything in a respectful manner. He knew what it was like to lose people on your team but… People directly under your command? That must've been a whole other feeling entirely.
"I never stop, Isaac. I'll never forget their names, their faces or what we accomplished together. No matter how many more Omega scum I kill, their deaths will never be avenged. That's the worst part of it. No matter what captains I kill, what enforcers I kill, who I topple… I could destroy the entirety of the Blue Suns, Eclipse and Blood Pack but I'd still be missing the most important piece of the puzzle," As Garrus said this, his tone became considerably harsher. The whole atmosphere of the room suddenly felt heavy and darker as he continued, "Sidonis. That rat, cowardly bastard. He sold us all out. I should've seen it coming… Now they all paid the price so he could live another day," A dark chuckle escaped Garrus, "... What a sick twisted joke … If I ever see Sidonis again, I'll strangle him. I'll watch the life leave his eyes as he gasps for air. And even that'd be too merciful of a death. It's one thing to turn and run from a fight - it's one thing to abandon your fellow men - but to sell them out?... How can you have so little loyalty for people you once called brothers?"
Isaac didn't even know what to say. The weight of it all was intense and Garrus was clearly not okay. In the same way Isaac wanted to endlessly scour the galaxy for a sign of Ellie, he felt Garrus would scour the galaxy for any sign of Sidonis. But the bitter hatred and rage he carried in his heart would burn a hole through his chest worse than that of clinging on to love like Isaac, "... I-..."
"You don't have to say anything, Isaac. I know what I just laid out to you is… Horrible. And intense. But don't worry about it and don't worry about me. Now that we're on the Normandy, we have more important things to worry about," Garrus took a deep breath and let it out into a calming sigh, "These guns need to be calibrated on a nearly daily basis. You're welcome to come help when you like but if you ask me, you should focus on getting a little more rest. The toxins may be flushed, but you spent days in a fever, barely breathing and clinging to life. You'd do well with an extra day or two of taking it easy."
Garrus was probably right. Isaac offered him a friendly half-smile, showing gratitude for his concern, "I'll do that. I'll see you, Garrus."
Isaac made his way down to the Engineering Deck. Taking the steps down, he was able to find the room that had been given to him. The cold, dark spot underneath the deck, with enough room to stand, sleep and move around enough for light exercise. Immediately laying down, he let out a long sigh, ready to rest until something hit him. He hadn't checked on Tali in days. Opening up his Omni-Tool, he found a missed message from her checking on him. Typing up a response, he sent it through.
Isaac: Hi, Tali, sorry for the delay. I got held up. I was really sick.
Tali: Are you trying to make me not worry about you? Shepard filled me in already. He said he thought I might want to know how you're doing, since I met you on Freedom's Progress. I'm worried you were hiding other things regarding Omega. Are you all right, Isaac?
Isaac: I'm fine. And I'm sorry for not being honest. I was worried you'd worry or see me in some kind of different light. A negative light. Especially with everything that's happened. I guess I didn't want you thinking I was some kind of bad guy.
Tali: I don't think you're a bad man, Isaac. Even if you do things you aren't proud of. You were dropped into the Terminus Systems without knowing which way was up and just wanted to find something familiar. Ellie, right?
Isaac: Yeah, Ellie. Ellie Langford. That's her name. That's who I'm looking for. But it's taking a backseat for the moment. I joined Shepard's crew.
[Tali'Zorah is calling…]
[Answer?] [Y/N]
[Y]
A video window opened up, showing Tali as she sat at a desk, having her Omni-Tools's camera pointed right at her, "You joined the Normandy's crew!?" She spoke, in complete surprise, "I wasn't expecting that. Shepard extended the offer to you?"
Isaac hoped the surprise was a good thing, "Yeah, said he thought I had potential and he wanted to give me an opportunity to have a real life here. I just have to join him on this mission and he also helped me to look for Ellie. Figured I'd be a fool not to take the deal."
"I'm happy for you, Isaac. Working aboard the Normandy is dangerous and you never know what insanity the missions will bring, but it's also some of the best work you'll ever do. I'll never forget my time aboard the Normandy. I hope to come back and help Shepard soon, so perhaps we'll see one another again. I did want to ask you something, though…"
"What is it?"
"Ellie. Do you really think she's out there? From the way you talk about it - you say Earth is unfamiliar, this world is unfamiliar, you've never heard of any other species except humans… Do you think she's here with you too?"
Isaac was silent for a moment. The hope he had been clinging onto told him he HAD to believe she was. Without her, there was nothing. But deep down, this aching, burning feeling told him something else… "... To tell you the truth, Tali, I don't know. I think it's mostly just hope that keeps me wanting to think she's out there somewhere. I loved her. I think she's the only person in the world that could possibly get me. With everything we've been through, y'know? At the end of the day, no matter what life Shepard helps me get, I don't even know what if I could ever find another romance like Ellie," He sighed, "... We weren't really even together by the end of everything. When I abandoned everything, she moved on from me. Found someone else to fall in love with. I don't blame her but… I couldn't get over her during that time. I don't know how I'd do that now."
"I see… I'm sorry to ask and put you through pain, Isaac."
"It's fine. Talking helps a lot more than I thought it would," He took a deep breath, "I haven't had anyone to talk about anything for a long time. Even before now, I went through a lot of things that only someone like Ellie could help me through. Feels like she was the only person who really cared about me after everything that we went through. But uh… Not that I mind, but, I feel like I talk about myself a lot whenever we finally talk. I wanna know more about you. I thought you were a soldier when we first met but that's obviously not the case."
"Heh, I may not be a soldier but I know my way around weapons and combat. I may not be as tactical as someone like Shepard, but I know what to do and don't shy away from danger. Most Quarians are taught self-defense and the basics of combat to prepare them for their pilgrimage. While not everyone chooses violence as a response, it's never a bad idea to be prepared should the worst come to happen. After everything I've been through, I'm glad I've had my training." Tali answered.
"Pilgrimage? I still don't know a lot about your people." Isaac asked, looking somewhat puzzled as he looked into the video feed, bringing a hand up to scratch at the rugged beard that was starting to get rougher on his face. As soon as he was able, he considered a shave.
Tali perked up, "I'd be happy to explain the pilgrimage to you as well as anything else regarding my people's history and culture," Though isaac couldn't see, he felt as though she was beaming under her helmet, "A pilgrimage is an extremely important step into adulthood for a young Quarian. When we come of age, we are expected to leave our Fleet and make for the galaxy to return something of value to our Fleet and in the process, gain experience with the world away from home. I find, much like my own experience, it also teaches us to value our home more than ever before. We spend our entire lives on the Fleet, and some of us long for a chance to explore the rest of the galaxy. Adventures or interesting people that aren't contained in suits, but, we realize just how much we miss our people. How much we miss the sound of our old, rickety ships and the bustle of a packed deck and always being surrounded by our friends, family and other Quarians who will never judge you for being who you are. I think it is quite a rude awakening for a lot of young Quarians how devastating it can be to realize just how much the other species in the galaxy still despise you after all this time…" She trailed off slightly, as if the remembrance caused her an amount of pain.
"All this time?" Isaac asked, unsure of what she meant. From the sounds of it, it sounded like the Quarians had some kind of sin the galaxy hadn't forgotten, "What do you mean exactly?"
Tali sighed, seemingly not particularly fond of this story, "Well, about 300 years ago, when we still had a homeworld and didn't live in suits, our ancestors created a race of subservient AI called Geth. They were meant to be laborers and servants, with limited intelligence that only became sophisticated when Geth were in larger groups. They also had a collective mind - so that their experiences and learning could be shared throughout all Geth. But we were foolish. We allowed them to grow too smart too quickly and before we knew it - we found ourselves with a sentient race of people that were beginning to question their existence. It was a matter of time before they'd begin to question why they were serving us. We decided to pull the plug before it was too late, but we hadn't realized we'd already crossed the line. The Geth fought and killed many of us, drove us off our homeworld and we've been stuck on our fleet, searching for a world we can inhabit, cursed to be in our suits from our sensitive immune systems. We unleashed an aggressive AI race of machines that hurt and kill anyone caught within their range. We thought they'd stay isolated in the Perseus Veil, where our homeworld is. But a few years ago, they ventured out to destroy human colonies at the beck and call of Saren. Shepard or Garrus can you tell you more about that. It's a really long story."
"Jesus… That's a lot to take in. I guess I can understand why people would be pissed, but 300 years is a long time to hold a grudge. None of your ancestors who were responsible are even around anymore. But I guess people have never been quick to forgive sins of the past, no matter what you do. Sounds like you guys have suffered enough, though. Sorry you have to deal with people who only see the negative."
"It's fine, truly. It used to bother me a lot more - but my self-worth and the worth of my people aren't valued by public opinion. They are valued by our ability to persevere, stay strong and be the most ingenious species in the galaxy," She seemed much more confident now, "But I suppose I still haven't said much about myself as much as I have about my people… Is there anything specific you want to know about me, Isaac?"
He thought about it for a moment, considering what he'd like to know, "I guess I've never really been good at asking people questions like this. Heh… I'm not very good at being a social person anymore," Not since the last 3-5 years of his life, "I guess I just feel a person out. Get to know them over time. You're not telling me a ton of specifics about yourself, but I'm still learning about you. I know that you're very proud of yourself and your people, you're the kind of person that's kind and caring and worried about others. I mean… You don't have a single reason to keep talking to me. You're busy, you have other concerns, but you still reach out and it does feel good to know that when I'm in a place where I'm completely alone, someone cares. We don't even know each other that well. Still practically strangers but.. You put in the effort. It's appreciated."
"Of course, Isaac… I guess I've always been a very empathetic person. I mean… I just thought about you and how I felt during my pilgrimage. I don't know everything about you, but I do know what it's like to be a stranger in a strange place and no you don't have an idea about anything. It was lonely and scary and I only had myself to count on until I met Shepard and his crew. I wanted to make sure you knew someone out there was there for you."
Isaac was silent for a moment. He was genuinely touched by her actions and words - it felt strange to hold such a warm feeling in his stomach and chest when everything had been so dark and bitter. His problems weren't going anywhere, but Tali was definitely someone that could cushion the pain, "Thanks a lot. Seriously."
"It's no problem. I'm happy to be here, Isaac," Tali shifted in her seat, "Oh, Keelah, I should really be looking into getting some sleep… I have an important mission to embark on tomorrow for the Fleet. I may not be available as much for a while, but I promise to reach out when I can. You should get some rest too, Isaac."
"I will. Thanks for talking with me. Sleep well."
The video feed ended.
Laying back in the small bed, he stared up at the dark ceiling of the little room he'd been given. For once, he felt at ease. Truly at ease. Not just a moment of respite in the storm, but, a strange calmness that was overtaking him. He was able to fully relax, let out a deep breath and close his eyes without any worries.
There were no nightmares tonight.
The following day, EDI informed Isaac of being able to partake in meals in the mess hall since he was officially part of Shepard's crew. He was also informed by the ship's AI that he had two meetings with others on the ship that must be attended to - Miranda Lawson, Cerberus Officer and Operative that served as Shepard's second-in-command for the mission, and Yeoman Kelly Chambers, personal assistant to Shepard a counselor for the crew. He was to get a psych evaluation from Kelly and Miranda Lawson simply wanted to meet a member of the crew Shepard recruited that wasn't someone Cerberus had any kind of information or dossier on. Shepard's judgment was to be trusted, but as second-in-command, Miranda felt as though her judgment would prove valuable here as well.
The first stop was Miranda's office on the crew deck. Isaac walked up to her door, letting it open and greeting Miranda who was sitting at a desk just across from him, "Uh… Hi. Isaac Clarke, new guy, I guess," He said, somewhat awkwardly. He wasn't a military man - he didn't know exactly how to fit in these square peg situations as a circle himself.
"Good day, Isaac Clarke, my name is Miranda Lawson, Officer and Operative within Cerberus. I'm Commander Shepard's second-in-command and helping to oversee this mission," She was very blunt and to the point, as well as drop dead beautiful. Isaac couldn't help but notice her fair, perfect skin, flowing hair and model-like appearance she had. Surprising for someone found in some kind of military organization. It wasn't that women couldn't be attractive in the military - he just thought she looked like she just came off a runway, "Please, sit, I would like to speak with you regarding Shepard's decision to recruit you and why you're here."
"Uh, yeah, sure," Isaac stepped forward, sitting himself down across from Miranda's desk, a bit unsure about this. There wasn't a way she could undo Shepard's decision, right, "Hey, wait, I recognize you. You were on Freedom's Progress."
"That's right. We've briefly met before, but we didn't get a chance to talk much in the midst of a mission. Nor did I expect to be finding you on our ship, serving under the Commander. I'd like to ask you about Freedom's Progress and why you were there. If my memory serves me correctly, you weren't a civilian from there, you have no memory of how you got there and you were the only survivor apart from the paranoid Quarian." Miranda leaned in, making Isaac somewhat unsure of himself - how could he answer any tough questions he didn't have any real answers to?
"Yeah… I don't really know how I ended up here at all. Everything about this is wrong. I'm technically from the future, but you all seem more advanced than my time. I mean… Hell, I'm supposed to be nearly 300 years ahead of you guys. But that doesn't make any sense. I don't know how I got here. I just… Got here. After getting sucked into a crazy vortex. That's the only real way I can explain it," She surely wouldn't believe him if he explained where that vortex came from, "I have technology you've never seen, a suit you've never seen, tools you've never seen - no papers to my name, no identity. I know you're suspicious and probably trying to figure out if I'm trouble. But I'm not. I'm just lost and trying to find my way home. Or a piece of it," His thoughts went to Ellie, even if that was a slowly vanishing thought.
"I see. That's not a very usual story to hear of someone, Isaac. I may believe you - but may believe you're either some kind of amnesiac or telling a lie you believe is real. It's a good thing Ms. Chambers will be inspecting you. You're in need of a psych evaluation. But don't worry - you're not the only crazy one that would be getting picked up for this mission. Cerberus is less concerned with mental state unless it hinders you from performing your best on this mission."
That struck a chord with Isaaac. He was locked up for a couple years on the Sprawl, being poked, questioned, made to think he was nuts when every bit of it was real. The visions, the hallucinations, the nightmares, the endless prodding into his brain to build their damned marker - PTSD, anxiety and other issues may have been there but.. "I'm not crazy," Isaac said, somewhat muttering it under his breath, almost afraid that the denial would land him locked up again, "... You don't have to believe me. Nothing's getting in the way of anything. I just want to be here to help Shepard now. He promised to help me get a start here. I have nothing. I am nothing. If by the end of this mission he'll help me become someone capable of living in this world, then I'm inclined to come."
"I see, Isaac. Just one thing - are you aware of how important this mission is? How dangerous it is? It's possibly a suicide mission. Once we cross the Omega Relay, there's a good chance most of us might not come back. Or none of us at all. Are you ready for the kind of risk and danger, Isaac?" Miranda asked, looking right into his eyes.
Memories flooded his mind. The Ishimura. All of the crew he went with died. All of the survivors aboard he'd met died. Everyone prior - died. Including Nicole. On The Sprawl, he heard awful, sick things. Babies' crying silenced by growls and tearing, civilians being ripped apart and massacred, no one getting away, people getting split - for once, he wasn't the only person to make it out. Then there was Tou Volantis… Isaac let out a soft chuckle, thinking about all these things, "... I've already put my life down for some greater good. I should already be dead," He offered her a wry smile, thinking about getting sucked into the destruction on Tau Volantis, "I'm sorta used to this life-or-death thing. It doesn't really scare me that much anymore. If you're worried about desertion or losing my head, it's not gonna happen. Shooting, being shot at, nearly dying - it's all kind of becoming a regular thing for me."
Miranda looked at him, somewhat puzzled but keeping an intense gaze - like she was trying to figure him out. That was quite something to say about himself and his mental state. They had no information on Isaac Clarke, but it was beginning to look like they hadn't picked up just anybody, "Very well then, Isaac. If you say so. One of our suggested recruits, Garrus Vakarian, personally vouched for your ability in combat. Said what little he saw served well enough to protect you both when it was just you and him against an incoming horde of Omega gangsters. I suppose I don't have many fears of your performance on that level. But your usefulness to our mission and beyond remains to be seen. Cerberus will be keeping an eye on you, Isaac. That is all for now. You should see Yeoman Chambers next for your psych evaluation."
At least it didn't last as long as he thought it would. She had few questions - she might've even had more. Isaac wondered if Shepard had something to do with this meeting not pressing into him as hard as she might've wanted to. He seemed like the kind of guy to look out for others - and right now - more interrogations bent on figuring out who he is and where he comes from were just going to hamper him down. Isaac wordlessly stood and left the room, not really knowing how to dismiss himself from a Cerberus Officer. A bow? A salute? Yes Ma'am? Was it military?
"Hey, real quick –" Isaac stopped just before he left, looking back at Miranda, "What is Cerberus? You guys some kind of military group?"
"Cerberus is a paramilitary group looking out for humanity's best interest in the galaxy. While humanity has the Alliance, they've all but abandoned the colonies that chose to move out into the Terminus Systems and are too worried about playing the political game with the council to properly secure humanity's place in the galaxy. Cerberus is humanity's strongest ally, and always will be. After all, we're the only ones who answered the SOS calls for these colonies. No one else cares. I'm letting you know now before you hear anything that we've been classified by council space and the Alliance as a terrorist organization. But that's just an easy way for them to toss us aside and make humanity fearful of trusting our assistance. Even now, the Alliance and Council Space refuse to assist Commander Shepard with the threat of the Collectors. If taking matters into our own hands lands us with the title of terrorists, then I'll gladly be called one if it means I'll be doing something good." She kept looking at Isaac throughout this, especially at the end, curious what his reaction would be.
From what he remembered, Tali didn't seem particularly happy to see Cerberus agents when they showed up on Freedom's Progress. He felt as if though the whole story wasn't shared, but wouldn't pry just yet. Isaac nodded his head, "It's uh.. Good to want to do the right thing. I can respect it," He offered her a small bow, still unsure of how to excuse himself, then left the room. Once he was out, he bumped into someone else, "Excuse me," Isaac said, quickly.
"You're good, I was just on my way to see Mira– Hey, I recognize you. Freedom's Progress survivor turned Commander Shepard's ally. Heard you're a lot more resourceful than one would've thought. Name's Jacob Taylor, Cerberus Operative here to assist Commander Shepard with whatever he needs to get this mission done. Pleasure to meet you without the threat of security mechs, Isaac." Jacob smiled, extending his hand out to offer Isaac a firm handshake.
"Likewise, Jacob," Isaac offered him a smile after the firm shake, trying to keep a friendly demeanor with everyone aboard the Normandy.
"Hope Miranda wasn't too hard on you in there. We've all heard about you. Regarding the, uh, well – amnesia, I guess. No memory of how you got here or where you came from. Look, I won't press you for details or anything. Whether it's true or not doesn't concern me. All we care about is your ability to stay cool, shoot and follow Shepard's orders," Jacob crossed his arms, cocking his head, "Believe me - we're picking up some crazy people. But with great ability. The Illusive Man really wanted to get only the best of the best - no matter what dark secrets or twisted minds they might have."
"It's reassuring, but I still really haven't proved myself. I'm sure I'll have that chance soon enough. But uh - Illusive Man? Who the hell's that?" Isaac asked, shooting a cocked brow and puzzled expression at Jacob.
"Head honcho of Cerberus. He's the one who made all this possible. And when I say all this, I mean ALL this," Jacob motioned around them, "He's more than the guy who made Cerberus a thing and inspired people like me to join up for his cause. He made the project to bring back Commander Shepard a reality. Brought back the Normandy, gave the Commander everything he needed to get out there and put the best, strongest team together to get shit done when it needs to be done. You might never see him, though. He interacts pretty rarely face-to-face with his operatives. Shepard's probably the only one who gets any face time with the boss these days." Jacob explained, speaking only with admiration and respect for not only the Illusive Man, but Shepard too.
"Wait - brought Shepard back? What do you mean? What did he retire or something?" Isaac was still trying to figure out the meaning behind that. Whilst he didn't know of Shepard's history or allegiances, there was a lot of unanswered questions regarding Shepard and Cerberus alike.
"Heh-... Yeah, well. Maybe it's best to ask the Commander himself about it. But I'll give you a brief rundown - Two, almost three years ago, the original Alliance Warship, the Normandy, was shot down by a Collector ship along with Shepard and those unfortunate enough not to get out. Was a devastating blow to the galaxy. Commander Shepard helped stop Saren and his Geth from wiping out human colonies and bringing back the Reapers. Even after everything Shepard's done for the galaxy, the council nor the Alliance will do anything about everything he's been warning us about. Without Shepard, everyone sat doin' nothing for 2 years, just waiting until the eleventh hour. As usual," Jacob scoffed, rolling his eyes, "This is why Cerberus exists. And why people like the Illusive Man are important. When this mission is over, if we all make it, you should consider signing up, Isaac. Cerberus has done a lot of good for people. Especially those that want their life to mean something," Jacob patted Isaac's shoulder, stepping into Miranda's office and leaving Isaac standing there.
Once again, a few questions are answered and more spring up to take their place. So, Shepard died? Who was Saren? What the hell are the Reapers? There's a whole chunk of a story completely missing and Isaac was clueless as to what it all meant. As had been suggested, a conversation with isaac would probably have to be his next move after his meeting with Chambers. It was time to find out everything that he didn't know about.
—
Isaac was pulled into the crew lounge, privately, with Yeomen Chambers. She was very sweet-looking, kind eyes and a very short and polite smile on her face. She looked like she had a lot of patience and experience talking to a multitide of people. As their psych evaluator, she probably did. Isaac still felt uncomfortable being in this position though. As the two sat there, he didn't even know what to say to kick things off.
"So," The silence was abruptly broken by Kelly as she clasped her hands together, "This is a tough situation for us both, Isaac. From what I've been told, you don't have any memory of how you got here and don't recognize the world you're in. Apart from that, you're a rare person to behold. There isn't a single piece of information that can be dug up on you. No matter where we look or who we hire to look into you, it all comes back blank. You really are the man who just came from nowhere, huh?" She asked, "It must be tough being in a crazy world like ours and feeling like you don't belong…" She sounded quite sympathetic to him. This was already a stretch different than he'd experienced before.
Isaac slowly nodded his head, "Yeah, well, I've been getting that a lot," A wry chuckle escaped him for a moment, averting from looking directly into her eye, "... Uh-... Well, yeah it's pretty hard, I guess."
Kelly slowly nodded, listening along to what he said before responding, "I bet. I wouldn't know what to do myself if I was in your position. Honestly, I think you're in a good place. Commander Shepard is an excellent leader and Cerberus does well to give a lost soul purpose. I hope you're finding hope in us here, Isaac."
"Jacob said that too. Guess it's a common sentiment among Cerberus personnel, huh?" Isaac asked, "... Listen, I'm not totally comfortable with this sort of thing," A hand moved up, gently stroking the hairs on his beard for a moment in a self-soothing maneuver, to alleviate some of the anxiety he was feeling just sitting here in front off someone evaluating him, "Let's just say I haven't had good experiences with this sorta thing in the past. I'm not crazy, all right? No matter what anyone says or thinks about me, I'm not nuts. I'm not asking to be believed or anything - I just -" He shrugged his shoulders, already feeling exhausted with this, "I just need to catch a damn break for once."
Kelly didn't push him. She simply nodded her head, putting her datapad aside, "I completely understand, Isaac. But I want you to know one thing - I'm not trying to figure out whether or not you're crazy. All I'm trying to do is figure out where your head is - figure out if something is troubling you and what I might be able to do to help release some of those stresses and concerns. That's all. Even few words can say a lot, Isaac… I like to pride myself as pretty good at reading people. And there's something about you, Isaac, that you can't keep hidden from me. Even if you try to bury it deep inside yourself," Her hand reached out, placing itself on his forearm.
Isaac flinched at the touch - why was that bothering him? Was it because he hadn't felt the sensation of affection in so long? Because the only people in his life he ever cared about were gone or dead? His eyes trailed upwards, meeting Kelly's gentle and soft expression as she looked back at him.
"I see pain in your eyes, Isaac. And lots of it. I see a man who isn't only lost in time and space, but lost within himself and struggling to figure out what he wants or needs. I see someone whose given up, possibly not for the first time, and is still moving ahead," She slowly leans away, removing her hand, "I see someone scared. And lonely. And backed into a corner - untrusting. You've faced a lot of hurt and betrayal, haven't you, Isaac? … It's okay to feel this way. You're not the only person aboard this ship whose faced these things before, Isaac. Our stories may be different, but we've all experienced similar things."
Isaac immediately thought back to Garrus. He was there to witness it – ultimate betrayal. The pain of losing, not just your fellow men, but your friends all around you and being stabbed in the back by someone you trusted felt like a cold, sharp dagger right in the heart. Kelly was right - and he wasn't sure anyone could ever directly relate to him the way someone like Ellie could. But what Kelly was trying to say was that those experiences didn't isolate him the way he thought they did. If he just reached out… All it would take was the willpower to do so. To open up. To let people in. He was always vague before - but they didn't need to know his story. They just needed to hear how it made him feel, "Yeah," He spoke quietly, "... I guess you're right about that, Kelly." His eyes slowly averted from hers, looking down at the floor.
Kelly smiled back at him, "Here on the Normandy, Isaac, as a part of this time - I guarantee you that you're not alone. And this evaluation doesn't mean this is the only time I'll ever talk to you. I'm here for you and every other member of this team. If you ever need to talk, get something off your chest, whatever it is - you can talk to me, all right?"
"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks – really," Isaac knew the right answer to some of his problems now. But even this light search into his soul wouldn't be enough for him to completely open up to her or anybody that quickly, "... And listen - uh - my head's in the right space. For whatever Shepard needs me to do. I can handle it. All these other problems-.. They're unrelated. They don't need to be written about or anything."
Kelly nodded her head and offered a kind smile in return, "Don't worry, Isaac. I'll only tell what you're okay with me telling. I think there are some things you need to confront, but I don't think you'll be a detriment to this team. I know by the end of this, everyone's going to have some kind of unfinished business or demon to rid themselves of. After all, it's a suicide mission. Nobody wants to go on a highly lethal mission without having cleared their plate, don't you think?"
Ellie would've appreciated this sort of thing.
His chest was aching thinking of her.
"Yeah, I think so too," Isaac said, standing out of his seat, "Is that all, Kelly?"
"That's all for now, Isaac. Please come speak with me anytime. I'll always be right next to the galaxy map, attending to Commander Shepard if he needs my personal assistance. It was a pleasure meeting and speaking with you, Isaac."
Once the evaluation was over, Isaac headed up to the bridge. Luckily for him, Shepard was nearby, "Excuse me, Commander, I had something to–"
Shepard looked at Isaac, "Ah, good. Isaac. You wanted your chance to prove yourself, right? Suit up in the armory. I've got just the thing on Omega."
A/N: Thanks for reading another chapter, everyone! Since I don't think I can post links directly in a fanfic (if I can link a social media, please let me know in a PM or review), please send me a PM if you' like to be given access to my Discord server. I would like to grow my community of readers there to do various things such as: Receive regular updates on chapter progression, posting updates, suggestions and engaging with me in discussions about what to do regarding certain characters, events, or even moments or things you'd like to see in this story. Thank you again and have a pleasant day.
