Title Song: "A Conversation" from "Mary Poppins Returns" (yeah, I know this song is sung to a spouse who has passed away, but the title fit, as did the grieving theme)
The Radio Demon woke surrounded by satin sheets and the calming scents of lavender and peaches. Oh, it had been so long since he'd known the pleasure of waking in his beloved's bed. He patted the spot beside him, hoping to feel a warm, fuzzy body curled against him. But it was empty.
His eyes shot open in panic. Then he sat up and searched the bed, lifting the sheets and pillows. He'd most certainly gone to sleep with Tina at his side. Why wasn't she there? Where had she gone?
"Calm yourself." Alastor took a deep breath. "She likely just went to relieve herself."
But after a quick peek into the bathroom, he found she wasn't there either. He paced around the bedroom, wringing his hair.
"She wouldn't do this to me again, would she?" His antlers grew. "Not after all I did for her! Why does she keep doing this? Asking me to stay and then…"
He trailed off when he noticed the whiteboard on Tina's bedside table. Written on it was one word: Kitchen.
Alastor relaxed and facepalmed. "Idiot."
When he came into the hallway, the smell of meat hit his nostrils. He followed it to the kitchen and found his wife at the stove, still in her white nightgown and wearing an apron. Now there was a sight he hadn't seen in a long time.
He approached with caution. Would it be appropriate to touch her from behind? Even after their affectionate moment last night, he was uncertain with how much she would be comfortable with.
"Morning, Al."
He stiffened, then chuckled. Always forgetting her bat hearing.
"Morning, darling."
He positioned himself between her wings, snaked his arms around his waist, and rested his chin atop her head. When she didn't object, he eyed the sizzling contents of her frying pan.
"Is that omelet for me?"
Tina nodded, moving his head along with hers. "Figured it was my turn to cook.
Her voice was still a little hoarse, but much better than last night. At least she didn't sound like she was choking.
"Smells delectable." He rubbed his nose in her hair, taking a whiff of that as well. "What's in it?"
She shrugged. "Whatever meat ya had wrapped up in the back of the fridge."
Alastor stilled, glancing at the chunks of meat poking through the eggs, then at a plate beside the stove with a nearly identical omelet. "You didn't put it in your own, did you?"
As amusing as it would be to see his wife unknowingly consume the flesh of the man she despised the most, he knew she would never forgive him for it.
"Why?" Tina lifted her head back to show her raised eyebrow. "Who is it?"
He smirked, deciding to tease her a little. "I meant to store it downstairs. My apologies, sweetheart. I had a lot on my mind last night."
Her eyes narrowed. "Who is it, Al?"
"Nothing special." He squeezed her tighter. "Just…chameleon."
Tina pried his arms off her and faced him with her hands on her hips. "What happened to not killin' my exes behind my back?"
"Who said anything about killing him?" Alastor examined his fingernails. "His limbs will grow back soon enough."
She glanced back at the sizzling omelet. "That what you were doing yesterday?"
"I also may have plucked half the feathers off a certain canary." When he couldn't read the emotion in her eyes, his smile shrank. "I was going to tell you. Are you angry with me?"
She was silent for a moment as she scraped the chameleon omelet onto a plate. "Only at the fact ya didn't invite me along."
Alastor sighed in relief. It was so good to hear her sass again.
"I thought you had enough to worry about."
Tina carried the two plates to the table. "Good thing I know ya well enough not to serve myself any suspicious meat."
He watched as she placed the chameleon omelet in his usual seat. "Yet you're perfectly fine serving it to me!" Once her hands were free, he caught her in an embrace. "Another reason why I love you so!"
He leaned in, but her fingers stopped his lips. "We need to talk."
His ears drooped in disappointment, but Alastor respectfully released her. "I know." He took a step back. "But first, we eat."
The two of them ate in silence. The only sound was the occasional scraping of silverware on plates. The exact kind of thing Alastor had been afraid of. To ease the tension, he tried to make small talk.
"You look well. And sound much better."
Tina did not take her gaze off her food. "Still hurts to sing, but yeah. Much better."
More silence. Alastor wasn't even halfway done with his omelet when he slammed down his knife and fork, causing Tina to jump.
"Why are you still here?"
She blinked. "Whaddya mean?"
"You're all better." He gestured to her. "Clearly well enough to not need a nurse to clothe and feed you. You have your voice back, and an employer willing to let you come back to work with an offer of room and board." He clenched his hands into fists. "Why haven't you…left yet?"
Her lips pursed as she slowly put down her silverware. "Do…do ya want me to leave?"
He had a feeling that even if her throat wasn't sore, her voice would still sound broken.
"You know I don't." There was no trace of static to be heard. "But Tina, if the only reason you're here is because of that deal we made—"
"It isn't," she said quickly.
"Or you're staying out of obligation. Or you're worried about me coming after you if you do." He winced. "Because I won't."
She sat up straighter. "Ya won't?"
He shook his head. "I won't."
Tina sputtered. "W-What about that deal ya made with Lucifer? The baby?"
"I can handle Luci." Alastor opened his eyes. "What I can't handle is seeing you miserable. Even more so, I can't handle making you miserable." He hung his head in shame. "I did the one thing I said I'd never do. And that was force myself upon you."
"You didn't—"
"I did." It hurt to admit it, but it was the truth. "If you hadn't stopped me—"
"Ya wouldn't've gone through with it." She reached across the table for his hand. "I know ya would've stopped."
He pulled his hand out of her reach. "There's no excuse for the way I behaved. I…I thought I was doing what you wanted. That if I didn't do it, I…I was going to lose you."
Retracting her hand, Tina sat back in her seat. "I don't blame ya for thinkin' that."
"Tina, I…" His eyes flickered. "If I had hurt you…"
"Hey." She got up and rounded the table. "You'd never hurt me." She touched his shoulder. "Even if ya tried, ya know I wouldn't let ya."
Alastor snorted. "True."
"But Al, when ya tried to…" She paused, squeezing his shoulder. "Honestly, I was more worried for you than I was for myself."
He tilted his head. "You were?"
"How could I not be with the way ya looked?" Her other hand went to his cheek. "I may have wanted ya to make love to me for a moment, but when I saw the panic in your eyes, when ya started changing, that moment was gone. It scared me. That I had turned ya into that."
She stared down at her feet. "Al, I've never wanted anyone the way I want you. But if we were ever to go all the way, it has to be when we're both ready. And you weren't. I can't make ya want what I want. There's no changin' that."
"But I do want to have a child with you." Alastor took her hands and brought them to his chest. "Surely you understand by now that if I make a deal with someone, it's because I want something from them. Do you think I would've bartered with Lucifer for the chance to have a child with you if I didn't want that?"
She shook her head. "But you shouldn't want that just because—"
"It isn't just because you want it. The thought of raising a child with you…" He pulled her closer. "I never got to experience love on Earth. I didn't think I could experience it with you. I…I want to experience all of it. For us to have a family. After all," he said, glancing around, "this place is large enough to fit one."
Tina bit her lip. "If that's what ya want, we could always adopt. There's no need for us to—"
"Yes, but…outside of all that, I'm…" Blushing, he glanced down at her chest. "Curious. To know what it would be like." His hands moved up her arms. "To surrender myself to you." One hand snaked to the small of her back. "Completely."
Her face was equally red from the closeness of their bodies. She shivered as his knee brushed against her thigh.
"Sweet Jesus."
How was this asexual man able to turn her so effortlessly into a pile of putty? They were still in their nightwear. It wouldn't take long for them to remove them.
"However," Alastor said, pulling away much too suddenly for her liking, "as you said, if we're not both ready…"
Tina grabbed the table to steady herself. This was supposed to be a serious discussion. Couldn't she go five minutes without imagining her husband sexually entwined with her?
"I cannot force it. I cannot force you. No matter how much I want you." He sighed. "I realize now what a fool I am to want you."
She touched his arm. "You're no fool."
"Aren't I?" He wrenched his arm away. "You think it's intelligent to let one person consume your every thought? Even though you may never be the same for them?"
She opened her mouth, but he raised a finger to silence her.
"No, that was my mistake in marrying you." He scoffed as he shook his head. "I didn't account for how much I was already intrigued by you. That such an intrigue could manifest into something more…deadly."
Alastor caressed her cheek. "Who would've thought someone like you could have such sway over me, simply by existing?"
Tina closed her hand over his, pressing it further to her face.
"The day I realized my feelings for you, I made it my duty to put your happiness above my own. Even if my feelings could not be returned." He rested his forehead against hers. "But I got greedy. I had to make you need me. Fully depend on me so that you would never think to leave."
Then his grin dipped into a frown. "I told you, the day you left, that you wouldn't last out there without me. That you needed me to survive in this world. But I was lying to you, as well as myself."
He withdrew to look her in the eyes. "The truth is, mon amour, it is I who cannot survive without you." His other hand cupped her face. "While you thrived on your own, I perished. I tortured myself with your memory, wishing to feel the joy of your embrace again. I tried so hard to make it happen, despite the constant rejection. I refused to let you go."
He sighed, dropping his hands from her face to his lap. "I tried to be selfless with my love for you. I truly did. But it seems nothing can change the fact that I am the most selfish being ever to walk this plane, or any other. Because in pursuing you again, I was not thinking of your happiness. I just wanted to be needed again. By the one soul I could never truly possess."
Tears filled Tina's eyes.
"And that is why," Alastor said, staring down at his wrenching hands, "I am prepared to offer you a divorce."
She stiffened. "W-What?"
"I'll see that you have enough to care for yourself." He hung his head. "I know you'll probably want to take Charlie's offer to return to the hotel. If we are to go through with this, I do not think it wise for us to continue working together. But I will fund your endeavors if that'll make you happy. I know how difficult it will be for you to find another benefactor."
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. The Radio Demon, her Alastor, was giving up? Just like that? After everything they'd gone through the past few months?
"And don't worry about Lucifer. I'm sure he'll find another pair of sinners to satisfy his romantic fantasies. As for the house—"
"Hang on, Al!" She grabbed his face, turning it towards her. "Before we go signin' papers, shouldn't we talk about this?"
He blinked in bewilderment. "You…don't want a divorce?"
"I get why ya'd think that." She hung her head. "After all, our relationship ain't been the healthiest. What happened on Valentine's Day…" She winced. "It was awful. And scary. For both of us. And I know ya acted that way cuz I made ya think I would only stay if ya slept with me and gave me a baby. Me cheatin' on ya all those years ago didn't help. Like I said in the letter, I let my past relationships define my current one."
Tina moved closer, but hesitated. Then Alastor pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her.
"Ya have to understand." She curled her knees up and rested her head on his chest. "Men have only wanted me for my body. But you…you saw so much more. Ya listened to me, respected me, ya made me feel happy just by being there. Even when I was burnt to a crisp, ya never left my side."
She played with the very short ends of her hair. "When I was going through chemo, I didn't have anyone to hold my hand. Not just a significant other, but I didn't have friends like I do now." She smirked. "In a convoluted way, I never would've met those friends if it hadn't been for you."
"You would've found a way," Alastor whispered, running a hand up and down her back. "You draw people in like a siren. Maybe you don't intend to, but you do."
"I know." She snorted. "That's why I keep attractin' psychopaths."
He chuckled. "Not what I meant. It's not simply your voice and your looks that draw them in, though those certainly help. You draw them in with your character." He lifted her chin towards him. "Bold, confident, an unwillingness to be overpowered, and a compassion of which I am quite envious."
She raised an eyebrow. "Why would ya be envious of that?"
"Because despite the way the world has treated you, you see virtues in people that I simply cannot." He glanced to the side in guilt. "You give people like that spider whore and that adulterous doctor several chances, people I would never bother with, and their behavior somehow improves because of you. Even if only a little. People listen to you. And you don't even need your powers to make that happen. So yes, I am envious."
"I'm only that way cuz of you."
He tilted his head. "Me?"
"Of course." She stroked his chest. "Before I met you, I hardly trusted anyone. Except maybe Mimzy. Remember, I thought ya were nothing more than a murderin' psychopath, no better than any other man I'd ever met. Not only did ya show me a softer side to ya, but even when ya knew my past, ya didn't stop treatin' me like I was a person worth spendin' time with."
She clutched his pajama shirt. "I gained faith in people again, cuz you had faith in me. Though it was really misplaced."
"Was it?" He placed his cheek atop her head. "In the end, you did come back to me, didn't you?"
When she didn't answer right away, Alastor pulled back, his mouth in a flat line. "Or…am I misreading the situation again?"
Tina averted her gaze. "I…I want us to try again. I really do. I'm just…afraid. That I'll mess everything up. I've already let ya down so many times."
Sighing, he threaded his fingers through her hair. "As have I, darling."
"So, what does that mean?" She met his eyes. "For us?"
As much as he tried to hide the pain through a smile, it was quite impossible. "More than anything, chère, I want you to continue being my wife, but…if that is not your wish, I will respect it this time."
She shook her head. "I almost wish ya'd go back to being possessive and demanding. At least then I wouldn't have to worry 'bout makin' hard decisions."
He snickered. "As easy as that would be, I prefer not to." His arm tightened around her. "I find it…nicer when I am able to hold you without struggle."
She blushed. "I do feel…safe in your arms."
"And why is that?" He lifted her head so that their noses were touching. "Why do you trust me so?"
She shrugged. "I'm an idiot?"
"No, you aren't. Any woman perceptive enough not to fall for my charms at first sight is no idiot."
"Yet I still married ya."
"Yes, but we both know why. Which begs the question," he said, caressing her face, "what made you fall in love with me?"
She blinked. "Didn't I just tell ya?"
"Forgive me." He rubbed his nose against her cheek. "But it is difficult for me to comprehend when you say you are unsure about us, yet you allow me to touch you like this."
Unable to think with him nuzzling her, Tina turned her face away. "You're a real pain the ass."
That caused him to recoil. "A simple 'no' would've sufficed."
"You're clingy as fuck." She pushed against his chest and slid off his lap. "Your hobbies are downright disgusting."
She pointed to his unfinished omelet.
"Alright," Alastor said, "that one, I'll give you."
"You're terrible at readin' the room." She listed off her fingers. "Ya never know when to shut up. Your jokes are corny. Ya smile way too goddamn much that sometimes I just wanna slap that dopey grin off your face and knock your head clean off."
"Is there a point to this?"
"But," Tina said, her voice softening as she twiddled her fingers, "even when we weren't officially together, ya were always…considerate. To me, anyways. Ya didn't pretend to like me just to get into my panties. Ya took an effort to get to know me, and made me feel like a human being."
She turned her back to him. "I wanted a real relationship from ya. I wanted a fresh start. That's why I pushed ya so hard. But Al, I'm not gonna let ya do something uncomfortable just for my sake. I mean ya say ya wanna, but…what if you're never ready? What if we can never get past this? If I keep makin' ya feel like…you're not enough."
She hugged herself. "I love ya, Al, but if I keep makin' ya miserable…"
Alastor wanted to tell her that she wouldn't. And yet, it was the truth. Whether she was here or away, he'd never felt truly secure in their relationship. Even before their separation, there had always been that lingering fear that he would one day lose her.
In this moment, he feared that more than ever. However, there was one more matter that needed discussion. One that couldn't wait any longer.
"Tina," he said, standing up, "I have something for you."
She turned to him just as a manilla envelope appeared in his hand. Her heart sank as she imagined its contents. Divorce papers?
"I meant to give this to you on Valentine's Day," Alastor said, cringing at the memory, "if I hadn't been so consumed with our…problems." He cleared his throat. "But before you make any decision on our marriage, you must have it. So that you know I give to you freely, no conditions."
He handed her the envelope. Confused, Tina opened it. There were several sheets of paper clipped together, along with some photographs. Once she skimmed through the first page, her eyes widened.
"This…" She lowered herself into a chair. "W-What is this?"
Alastor sat across from her. "A copy of your daughter's soul file."
Tina put a hand over her mouth as she read the file more carefully.
"It includes her age," he said, pointing at the envelope, "current address, and…state of being."
Tears formed as she choked out, "She's…alive?"
"Yes." His smile at last returned. "Though she goes by a different name, as you can see. Fortunately, Hell keeps a record of all name changes and aliases."
The papers shook in Tina's grasp. "I…I always thought…when I left her…" She met his gaze in bewilderment. "H-How…did you…?"
He waved a hand. "Let's just say Lucifer is highly invested in our future."
"Th-Thank ya." She pressed the file to her chest. "This is…"
This was the most wonderful thing anyone had ever done for her.
"I'd thought of askin' if there was a way to know," she said, wiping her tears, "but…I was always afraid of the answer."
Alastor leaned forward. "Would you like to see her?"
"See her?" She glanced at one of the photographs. "Is that possible?"
"Remember that romantic advice I offered Prince Stolas back at the Valentine's Day party?" He winked. "Well, in exchange, I asked for a one-day use of his grimoire, which grants access to the living world. His only condition was that we not use it during the full moon. We can go when you're ready."
After another quick scan of the document, Tina rose from her seat. "I'm ready now."
His grin widened. "I'll call the Prince."
You thought it was the raccoon, didn't you? Well, won't lie, it was a consideration, but I stuck with my original gut intention of having Tina's daughter still being alive.
