Chapter 5: The Thousand-Year Door
Matthew let out a strangled gasp when a figure emerged from the shadow of the archway.
It turned out to be a woman swathed in layers of light colored robes and wearing a peculiar mushroom-shaped cap, which hid much of her face. The only visible parts were a few locks of pale hair and a pair of dark eyes that twinkled mischievously.
She introduced herself, "I am Merluvlee, a fortune-teller of unrivaled skill and a star-crossed crush for all men who gaze upon my ravishing face, hence why I wear this veil." A portion of her robes where her arms were supposed to be lifted and gestured to her hidden face. Then she turned her gaze on the young man, who was entranced by how much sparkle was crammed into those liquid pools. "What a pleasure to meet you at last, Matthew; I've awaited your arrival ever since I saw your fate in the stars." Her voice was so sweet and thin like a slab of peanut brittle, yet Matthew couldn't help but be wary of her. After all, he had been suckered into a prophecy with his name in it before. Fool me once, he thought.
Goombella was equally suspicious. "A fortune-teller, huh? Way to show up after Matthew's been cursed. Now he has to jump off of cliffs when he's by them; if you'd just shown up before and warned us what would happen, then he wouldn't be cursed now, don't you think?"
"I had some urgent matters to attend to that were unavoidable, dear; otherwise, I would have arrived earlier to prevent this tragedy." Merluvlee's sweet tone was slightly strained. "Nonetheless, I can help you rid yourself of the curse."
Matthew's heart soared at the news. "Really? How?"
She raised her sleeve to signal that he should be patient. "I can tell you, but before I do that, we first need to agree on the price."
Matthew's heart sank. "Oh. Uh. How much?" He hoped the despair on his face wasn't too obvious. He didn't want to scare her off by revealing he didn't actually have any money.
The price was far steeper than he imagined. Merluvlee answered, "You have in your possession a magical map. Give that to me and I will tell you how to get rid of the curse."
"What?!" both Goombella and Professor Frankly exclaimed. Professor Frankly swung the map out of her reach. Matthew felt the same way though he was a little offended that the two of them seemed more concerned with the map than with him. He told the shawled woman, "I can't do that. We need it to find the Crystal Stars so that we can rescue Princess Peach."
"Matthew!" Goombella snapped crossly. "Don't tell her that! We've already got those goons in white looking for them! Do you want the whole of Rogueport chasing after us? If that happens, we can kiss our chances of finding her goodbye! And then what would we tell Mario? That you traded a map that could have saved her for a cure to your curse? So you'll jump off cliffs if you get near one. So what? Just stay away from them and it should be all right."
Matthew gave her a sour look. Well, gee, thanks for your concern but I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. I can handle this. Of course, the worst part of it was that she was right. It was a simple enough solution to the curse. After all, how often did one encounter a steep drop?
Merluvlee tossed her sleeve in a careless gesture, "Oh, I already knew about those, dear, so it doesn't matter if he tells me or not. And because you're going to ask: there's a chance that the combined might of all seven Crystal Stars can reverse this pall that's been thrust upon you, but the journey is a long and arduous one filled with incredible danger. It would be much simpler if you gave the map to me now and I tell you how to remove the curse."
Matthew shook his head. "Thanks, but I think I can handle it. We need to find Princess Peach."
Merluvlee huffed, seemingly in irritation. Then Professor Frankly cleared his throat and said, "Um, pardon me, but as wise and perceptive as you are, perhaps you can tell us where to find Princess Peach?"
"Well, of course I can!" snapped the medium, turning her bright eyes to the aging Goomba. "She's being held captive by the X-Nauts."
This news was met with cries of alarm. Goombella exclaimed, "You mean those guys in white? The ones being led by a big, dumb one, with X's across their chests, and dorky-looking goggles? Those are X-Nauts?"
"Well, it's a relief you're not completely dense," said the shawled woman crossly. "Yes, those are the ones who've kidnapped the Princess, and they're holding her in their stronghold somewhere far, far away. You've no chance of reaching it on your own."
"Couldn't you tell us where we can find it?" Matthew asked her.
"Certainly! …if you give me that map."
Matthew considered it. It seemed like a pretty good deal. He was only keeping the map because there was a chance it could lead him to Princess Peach, but if Merluvlee told him directly where she was, he wouldn't need it anymore, right?
Yet something made him hesitate. The map had come to him for a reason, he was sure. It had come to him and transported him here for a reason, which made it seem alive, in a way. You couldn't give away something living, could you? Not if it chose you? It would be like giving a little brother away. Or Goombella…
Now there was a thought: giving Goombella away. It was a good thing she couldn't read minds. He could just imagine how she would react.
Goombella raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you looking at me like that for?"
Matthew shook his head and responded quickly, "Nothing. I mean," he turned to Merluvlee, "I can't do it. I can't trade the map."
The medium shrugged in a dismissive gesture. "Eh. Have it your way, but let me give you one last piece of advice: if you ever find yourself looking over an edge, use it to your advantage."
Matthew's face twisted in surprise. "Wait, what?" but he didn't get an answer. The mysterious woman vanished with a swish of her robes.
The following silence pressed uncomfortably on them. It was Goombella, naturally, who broke free of it. "Well, okay, that totally made sense there. Use them to your advantage. What kind of advice is that? Is she saying you ought to jump off? What kind of kook tells you to do something stupid like that?"
"Are you all right, Matthew?" asked Professor Frankly. He continued without giving the bemused young man a chance to reply, "Sorry for being so inconsiderate. I shouldn't have pushed you to refuse her offer. But you must understand, this map could be the key to unlocking all the mysteries surrounding this town! Mysteries I've spent years trying to solve!"
Matthew shook his head. "It's all right, Professor. You didn't push me to do anything."
"Besides," Goombella interjected, "how could he give up a magical map? He'd have to be a complete idiot to give that away!"
Somehow, she made that sound like an insult to him.
The old professor cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Uh, yes, well… in any case, I'm pleased you decided to keep the map. It's still showing the way, so let us continue and see where it takes us, shall we?"
Matthew nodded. "Okay. But if we come across any more mysterious boxes that talk, we get away from it as fast as we can."
The professor nodded. "Agreed."
They moved deeper into the earth, the light getting dimmer and the temperature dropping, while a constant echo of dripping water grew louder. They didn't run into any more suspicious chests, but they did occasionally startle bruise-colored Goombas, who scurried into dark corners and growled at them.
Professor Frankly said to Matthew and Goombella in a low voice as they passed them, "Be careful around these Gloombas. They can get pretty nasty if they feel threatened."
"Well maybe if they got out and saw the sun every once in a while," Goombella muttered. Matthew worried that her voice carried to the nervous, little savages, but, to his relief, none of them came out to challenge them.
Then they were descending a crumbling stair. It was wide, yet despite this it felt constricted like they were traveling down the throat of a stony monster. The walls on either side were slick with moisture and algae, adding to this impression. They had been traveling for a while now and he was starting to worry that they were lost. He wanted to ask the old professor how much further it was but remembered how peevish Frankly had been the last time he had asked a question and he wasn't likely to know the answer to this one anyways, so he decided to just keep his mouth shut and hope it wasn't much further.
It wasn't. They heard the sound of rushing water bouncing up the stairs and soon they came out the bottom.
The first thing Matthew noticed was that the entire area was covered in water. A small square of stone rose just above the water level like a tiny deserted island. Out in the water were hundreds of pillars stretching high above them to support the ceiling.
Then Matthew noticed something that made him stop and stare. It wasn't the square building sitting on the water – it reminded Matthew of the rundown playhouse in his neighbor's yard except this one was made of gray stone and had no windows– but the door leading into it.
The door was huge, about three times taller than him. It was embellished with lots of flowing lines of gold except where the outlines of seven stars were visible. These were emphasized by other colors that seemed to pulse slowly – like blood through a giant circulatory system.
"So that's the thousand-year door," said Professor Frankly in a reverent whisper. He dropped the map and approached it with an air of kneeling before royalty.
Goombella, on the other hand, gave it a critical look and then remarked, "Huh. Not what I was expecting." In other words, she wasn't impressed.
Matthew suggested, "Maybe you'd like it more if it was all the color of sand, falling to pieces, and smelled like it hadn't been cleaned for decades?"
The archeology student shrugged. "Honestly, I thought it would be… bigger. But anyways, I guess we found it, which means the Crystal Stars are around here somewhere, right, Professor?"
"This seems to be the place," said the Professor, more to himself than to his student. He gestured with a bob of his head. "Let me see that map again."
Matthew picked it up and then yelled when it flared to life with bright light, nearly blinding him.
"The map!" the Professor exclaimed and scurried over to Matthew. He didn't make it. The map, with Matthew still holding on to it, lifted into the air, shining like a dazzling sun. It came to a stop about three feet in the air, hovering in front of the thousand-year door.
Then the flowing lines on the door glowed too and rushed faster. Matthew's mouth gaped as the map and door glowed together, the lines running around on both of them.
What happened next felt like a dream he had had once. He suddenly pitched forward toward the map, which seemed to grow until he was soaring over its illustrated rolling hills. It was like a cross between a hologram and an old-fashioned pen illustration. In the distance, he saw a castle with an onion-shaped crown on its center tower. He raced to the tower and soared inside the onion, coming face to face with a…
With a shuddering gasp, Matthew was suddenly back in front of the thousand-year door. Both the door and map had stopped glowing.
Goombella knocked him several times on the head like she was trying to wake him up. "Whoa, hey, what happened there, Matthew? You look like you've just seen a ghost! Of course, if I'd been holding on to that map and it just picked me up into the air like that, I'd probably be freaking out, too. I was down here and I was freaking out! What kind of a map…"
"What did you see?" hissed Professor Frankly, shaking him by the front of his shirt. "You saw something, didn't you? What did the map show you?"
"It was… a, uh… a castle," the young man stammered. He was shaking like he had just woken from a bad dream. And like a dream, the details were evaporating away quicker than he could explain them. "I was… flying… over a field. I…" He shook his head.
"Let me see the map," said the Professor as he snatched it out of Matthew's hands. After studying it for a moment, he exclaimed, "Aha! The location of the first Crystal Star has been revealed!"
"Really?" gasped Goombella, interrupting her own chatter about flashing lights and floating maps. "Where is it, Professor?"
"Well, if I remember correctly," said Professor Frankly excitedly, "northeast of Rogueport is a place called Petal Meadows, and the map here shows the Crystal Star is hidden somewhere there."
"Okay, great. How do we get there?"
"Normally, it would be a three-day trek through the Spotted Hills, but in my research, I came across several references to the Ancients' travel network – a series of pipes stretching from here to the four corners of the world as a means of getting around quickly, including to Petal Meadows. It was the Ancients who developed the travel pipe technology that we use today. In fact, that's where the expression came from: all pipes lead to…"
"So you're saying that somewhere around here is a pipe that will take us to Petal Meadows?" Matthew interrupted.
Professor Frankly bobbed his head in confirmation. "It's very likely. I don't know where that pipe is exactly, but I'm certain you'll find it. You have a magical map, after all. And besides that, you seem to have a very curious connection to that map." He gave Matthew an odd look.
He was about to ask the professor what he meant but then Goombella piped up, "Wait, Professor! Are you saying you're not coming with us?"
"Me?" The old Goomba's heavy eyebrows almost flew off his face. "I'm an old Goomba. I would only slow you down, and I've the feeling your quest is going to be dangerous. Besides, I'm sure you don't want me to talk your ears off the entire time."
"No, Goombella will do the job just fine," Matthew muttered.
Goombella wheeled around. "What'd you say?"
He jumped. "Nothing! Nothing."
"Well then!" said the professor brightly after a moment of awkward silence, "I should get back to my research. This is an enormous breakthrough and I can't wait another minute to add this to my notes. You go find those Crystal Stars and let's rescue Princess Peach!" He started to scurry away and then skidded to a stop.
"Wait a moment! I entirely forgot! You should take this with you." He scurried back to Matthew and Goombella and handed them a strange-looking device. "Here, take this. This is a Mailbox SP. Just before she disappeared, Princess Peach gave this to me to give to her friend, uh, Mario, when he arrived. Who knows, maybe you can use it to find her."
Matthew took the Mailbox SP bemusedly. Goombella remarked, "You couldn't have given this to us sooner?"
Professor Frankly harrumphed. "As I said before, I entirely forgot about it. I can't be bothered to remember every little detail! …especially if they don't pertain to archeology and history. Now if you don't have any more questions…" he gave Goombella a pointed glare, "I'll be off now. Good luck!" And with that, he scurried off to his research.
They watched him go until he vanished up the tunnel. A moment later, Goombella declared, "Well, isn't this exciting! We're going on a real life adventure! A treasure hunt, no less! And rescuing a damsel in distress! We get the whole package here! When I decided to become an archeologist, I had absolutely no idea I would actually be following a real treasure map to real treasure! I guess when I was small I dreamed of going on a treasure hunt, I mean, what kid doesn't? But now I'm actually going on one, and it's just… wow!"
Matthew couldn't have agreed more. His own spine was tingling with anticipation. This was a dream he'd had his whole life and now it was actually happening. He couldn't wait to get started. If only Goombella would stop talking long enough for him to figure out how to get to Petal Meadows on the map…
The map started to glow again though not as dramatically as the last few times. A golden serpentine arrow appeared, curling its way across the parchment, tracing a path through the illustrations of what was unmistakably the ruins. The map was showing the way.
"Come on," he said, interrupting the archeology student. "Follow me."
They made their way up the tunnel, back to the higher levels of the ruins. Goombella kept the stream of consciousness flowing as they walked, "That's another thing: how come the map responds to you, huh? One word from you and it lights up like a festival. I'm starting to think this magical map likes you. How did you get it anyways? Wasn't it supposed to go to Mario? What, were you snooping through his mail, huh? Because that's illegal, you know. Which means…" she gasped, "I'm an accomplice to a felon! Which actually sounds pretty cool now that I think of it. It's just my luck that this 'felon' is a mail stealer. I could have gotten stuck with a murderer or something, but no, I'm associated with someone who steals mail, and if we get caught then I go to jail because I'm traveling with a mail stealer…"
Matthew was sorely tempted to shove her back down the stairs.
They were soon back in the catacombs, wending their way from one chamber to the other, turning left, right, forward, then right again. Matthew was glad he had the map to show the way. He would have gotten them lost on the first turn otherwise. Before they knew it (but too long after Goombella had given him the entire evolutionary history of Munchers) they reached the surface of the ruins. From here, the map led them eastward through the streets. Eyes appeared in the windows of the dilapidated buildings only to vanish a moment later. They seemed to remember Goombella and her earlier threat to vandals.
Then, quite abruptly, they reached a channel. The water flowed swiftly here. There appeared to be several bridges stationed at intervals though almost all of them had crumbled. They stood in front of the only intact bridge, thanks to the map, except there was a problem. There was something on the bridge.
It emerged from the water and draped over it like a giant, sodden sock but smelling worse. Its slimy, white surface was mottled with pale blue spots, making Matthew think of bleu cheese, yet there was no mistaking what this thing was.
Goombella hissed, "Are you sure you want to go that way? That's the tentacle of a giant Blooper on the bridge!"
Matthew checked the map and then looked down and up the river. Then he said, "This is the way the map is telling us to go, and I don't see any other bridge we can cross. We'll just have to be very careful. It's probably asleep, so don't wake it up."
Goombella rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, obviously!"
Matthew didn't appreciate her tone, but with the giant Blooper so close, he didn't want to risk getting into a fight with the sassy Goomba. Instead, he folded the map and then led the way on tiptoe. He paused in front of the tentacle and carefully lifted his leg over it. It was quite big, so the young man had to stretch his leg out to keep from touching it, and he was admittedly not the most flexible person in the world. Somehow, though, he managed to get over it without touching it and waking the Blooper. He then turned and reached out his arms, silently offering to help Goombella over.
She shot him a rather dirty look. "Excuse me? I'm perfectly capable of getting over by myself, thank you very much! If you just move out of the way then I can jump over."
Raising his hands in a gesture of surrender, Matthew stepped back to give her room. He was impressed to the point of astonishment when she sprang right over the tentacle like a squat grasshopper in a ponytail. He wordlessly turned to follow her to the other end of the bridge, only to find another tentacle blocking the way. Goombella sprang over this one too and then gestured impatiently for Matthew to hurry. He found this one to be more difficult since it seemed to be a little higher than the last. He managed to get over it but it felt like he had pulled a muscle and he had to rest and try not to groan out loud.
Unfortunately, there was a third one. Goombella got over it just fine, of course, but Matthew decided to hop over it like his partner did. That was his mistake. When he landed, he slipped on a puddle that had formed around the tentacle and crashed backward onto it. The tentacle cushioned his fall – it was like a cold, slimy sausage – but immediately afterward it shuddered and the water around the bridge bubbled.
Goombella hopped up and down in agitation as she hissed, "Great! You've woken the Blooper! Hurry and let's get out of here!"
Matthew obediently scrambled to his feet and they took off at a sprint. Matthew caught a glimpse of the Blooper exploding out of the water to his left but he didn't stop to look. Instead, he kept his attention firmly fixed on the other side of the river where there was a pavilion sheltering a green transport pipe. If they could just reach it…
A tentacle burst from the water and slapped itself in front of them, blocking the way. A second tentacle slapped onto the bridge behind them and then the Blooper whom the tentacles belonged to rose into view in front of them.
Goombella squeaked, "That is one big Blooper!"
Matthew gripped his hammer with white-knuckled fists.
The Blooper loomed over them, staring at them with eyes the size of dinner plates. And then it gurgled, "Bloo bloo bloop!"
Maybe it was all the blood flushing from his head but Matthew had the distinct impression the Blooper had just asked, "Who goes there?"
It was only natural he answered, "M-m-my name is M-M-Matthew, and this is Goom… Goombella."
"Sure, yeah, like it cares who we are!" Goombella screeched, her voice cracking with fear. "How about you tell it: we go good with shroom steak, dipped in inky sauce, and chased down with a fruit parfait?"
"It'll get the wrong idea," was his answer.
The Blooper glared at them. "Bluh bloo bloo bloop! Bloo bloop!"
"We're sorry. We didn't mean to wake you!" Matthew tried to explain.
But the Blooper wouldn't hear of it. "Bloop bloop bloo bloo. Bloo bloo bloo BLOOP!" It raised another tentacle high, with the clear intention of slapping them like a pair of fighter flies. Faced with such a grim and rather humiliating demise, Goombella did something desperate. She launched herself into the Blooper's eye.
The Blooper responded with a gurgly howl, clapping its tentacles over its offending eye. "Come on!" she yelled when she landed, and the two of them burst into a run toward the end of the bridge. Matthew pointed to the pavilion and yelled, "Head for that pipe!"
"Do you know where it goes?"
"It's where we need to go to find the Crystal Star… I think!"
"You think?!" Goombella screeched, but there wasn't time to doubt him. The Blooper, its good eye focused on the two troublemakers while it nursed its swollen eye, was swimming after them, reaching its long tentacles out to catch them. So, reaching the pipe, she dived right inside. Matthew followed right behind her, barely escaping the grasp of the Blooper's tentacle by a hair's breadth when it swooped for his leg.
