Chapter 9: The Adventurers and the Thief
The trek to Hooktail Castle gave Matthew plenty of time to think. He had had time to think while going to Shhwonk Fortress, but there hadn't really been anything to worry about. Not like this time. No, this time, they were headed toward danger - a castle where a fierce dragon had made its home. A nagging fear was nibbling on his ribs and with every step they took toward the castle, it only worked deeper into his marrow. In his mind, worst-case scenarios bubbled to the surface, all of them featuring him and his party being roasted to a crisp: while sneaking through the front gate, they find Hooktail waiting, who opens his mouth and roasts them to a crisp; while scaling the wall, Hooktail comes flying out from behind the castle, dives toward them, and roasts them to a crisp; while tunneling under the castle, they bump into something in the dark, which opens dragonish green eyes and then opens a glowing red mouth from which bursts a jet of red and black fire that roasts them to a crisp…
Stop that! he scolded himself. We just need a plan. A way to find the Crystal Star without getting roasted by the dragon. He probably keeps it somewhere in the castle while he goes looking for more treasure. We may not even have to fight him!
The dragon flies out of the castle in search of more treasure. Matthew and his band takes the opportunity to dash inside the castle and start searching the rooms for the Crystal Star. Then they hear the flapping of leathery wings. They turn around and see Hooktail rocketing toward them and screaming, "You think you can take my treasure while I'm away?" Then he opens his mouth and shoots a stream of fire, which roasts them…
Matthew furiously shook the image from his mind. "I give up," he muttered out loud.
"What was that?" Goombella piped up.
"Nothing." He shook his head hastily.
Still, as the journey continued, Matthew couldn't stop his imagination from coming up with worse and worse scenarios. He was almost relieved when Koops announced as they crested a hill. "Th-there it is. H-Hooktail C-C-Castle."
Almost relieved… but something stopped him from heaving it out in a sigh. Maybe it was how intimidatingly huge the castle was, even from this distance. Maybe it was the distance itself spread out before them. Maybe it was the fact that the hour of truth was nearly upon them. Or maybe it was all three.
And the castle only got bigger the closer they got to it. It was the size of a small city with towers that scraped the underside of the sky. And the moat was like a great canyon surrounding it. It was wide enough to swallow a house whole, and so deep, Matthew couldn't tell if there was water at the bottom. The gate to the castle was wide open. The only problem was…
"Great," muttered Goombella, "the bridge is out." She gazed down at the half of the rope bridge dangling down the side of the canyon wall languidly. The other half was on the other side. She turned to Koops, "Well, then, Shaky Boots, what's the plan?"
He started guiltily. "Oh, uh… I, um… well…" He avoided her eyes as he scratched his head.
The archaeologist was obviously flustering the timid Koopa as payback for being passed over as
the leader of this expedition, which made Matthew feel guilty. To help him out, he tried to think of a plan. He gazed out across the gap, screwing up his face in thought. A thought popped into his head: an image of himself sailing across the gap to the other side, catching himself on the bridge hanging down into the moat.
Then Goombella screamed. It was a second or two before he realized he was feeling the wind rushing past his face, stinging his eyes. He saw the wall of the canyon coming inexorably toward him like a freight train. His vision! It had come true! But how?
Then it hit him. The curse! How could he have forgotten about the curse? His compulsion to jump off of cliffs must have kicked in while he was staring out into the abyss, and now he was going to splat against the moat wall like an overripe fruit.
Or maybe not like an overripe fruit but like a very solid body with every inch of it wired to explode upon impact. Indeed, the din was so loud - the crash and rattle - that it blew Matthew's senses apart so he couldn't tell if he was upside down or rightside wrong. The world spun around him in a blur of color. Barely aware of what he was doing, he threw out his arms to stabilize the world.
His fingers tangled in something and he spun into it with another crash. He spun away only to come to a violent stop, pain exploding in his shoulder. He screamed, a raw sound that abraded his throat and rattled his skull, so he switched to hissing through his teeth. His senses came back together and he realized he was hanging on to a slat in the collapsed bridge... by one hand, which was really starting to ache. He threw up his other hand and slipped it into a slat, which seemed to be a bit higher, but at least it eased the pain in his arm.
He became aware of Goombella's voice echoing over the canyon, "...to me; are you okay?"
Matthew's eyes streamed with tears. "Peachy keen," he squeaked.
It was too quiet for the Goomba on the other side to hear him from here, so of course she still wanted to know if he was all right and why he wasn't saying anything, and quite loudly. It was like her shrill voice was coming out of the bottomless canyon rather than the ledge where she stood, and it was rattling him so he yelled, "I'm fine! Just a couple of broken ribs and a fractured skull!"
"Well, that had better be all it is, you crazy wacko! What were you thinking, jumping off like that? Did you forget about the curse or something? I hope that wall bashed some sense into you! If we somehow survive this adventure..."
Her voice cut off abruptly. A little alarmed, Matthew attempted to crane his neck over his shoulder to see what had happened but from his position it was more than a little uncomfortable.
"Goombella?"
Silence greeted him. Maybe she didn't hear him... or couldn't.
"Goombella?" He craned his neck back again but the effect was still the same. What had happened to her? It wasn't like her to pause in midsentence. Could she have been taken by the dragon?
Fearing the worst, he started to climb to the top where he could see what had happened. "Goombella! You there? Hey, Goombella!"
Her voice came back like a blast from a stereo that someone had forgotten to turn down the night before, "WILL YOU KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN, YOU BLOCKHEAD! WE DON'T WANT TO ALERT THE DRAGON!"
Oh. That explained it. Of course, he would have liked to point out that she probably already alerted it with her klaxon-like voice, but he was smart enough to know that he shouldn't be tempting fate. So instead he resigned to grumbling about it as he continued his climb, eventually wriggling himself over the ledge and into the gatehouse.
The gatehouse was sparsely furnished and quite dusty. The only piece of color to be had in the confining space was in the bright blue block sitting on a dais in the corner. A symbol could be seen hovering inside the block – a rather inquisitive-looking exclamation point.
Matthew had to press it. Something so enticing just couldn't be ignored. A small voice in his head protested that it might not be a good idea – that it might trigger a trap – but the loud and quite chatty voice of curiosity told him, "Go on, let's see what it does! Just tap it with your hammer – just a small tap – it won't hurt! Go on!"
But as Matthew raised his hammer, the block suddenly went dark. The floor began to rumble beneath his feet. With a squeal, curiosity fled him and the underappreciated voice of reason screamed, "See what you've done? I told you it was a trap! I told you!" Matthew whipped his head from side to side to spot some escape route he could take, which seemed to be through the gate that he had come through. He really didn't want to try leaping across the chasm again but if the alternative was being pressed into paper or being hole-punched by spikes, he was sure he could summon the courage to try it.
He rushed through the gate. Then he skidded to a stop, his mouth agape.
Stretching out in front of him was a bridge made of bright yellow blocks with innocent expressions on their faces. They clacked cheerily as they floated across the gap until they thudded against the other side. Goombella and Koops immediately set off along it as though they had expected this to happen.
"As it turns out," Goombella told him imperiously in passing, "you didn't need to jump. Koops's father had discovered a secret block King Koopence had hidden in case he needed to get into the castle. His guards, it seemed, were quite lazy and he had to do everything himself." There was a tone in her voice that suggested she could relate.
"I see," said Matthew, feeling remarkably foolish. He glanced at Koops, who ducked his head and twiddled his thumbs. After a moment, he said, "Uh… should have mentioned it earlier, I guess… sorry."
Matthew shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I probably should have mentioned the curse to you."
Koops looked up. "So you have to jump when you're next to a cliff? I'd be t-terrified if that happened to me."
"Yeah, but it's also been surprisingly useful. My falls are pretty slow so I don't have to worry about falling to my death."
"Unless it's in a p-pit of hot lava," mentioned Koops.
Matthew grimaced. "Uh, yeah. Lava. Good point."
They caught up to Goombella who was frozen in awe at the size of the castle beyond the gatehouse. It was enormous! The ceiling above may as well have been the new sky as high up as it was. And the journey across the floor to the many doors could easily take an hour or two even without the large blocks of fallen masonry cluttering the place, and the broken chandelier sitting on top like a cherry on a sundae.
"Oh. My. Gosh." Goombella breathed.
"Morning glory and hallelujah," Matthew added, unable to help himself.
The archaeology student was beside herself with glee. "Just look at this place. It's. So. Big! And the design! Clearly it takes inspiration from the Baroque Period. Just look at this carpet!"
It was rather tacky, in Matthew's opinion, patterned in purple with red stars.
"And that chandelier!" she gushed. "All that marble and gold! Why, I've never seen a more ostentatious piece of decor. The time and effort that went into creating that monstrosity, I can scarce imagine! Doesn't this all just tickle you pink?"
"It might," Matthew replied, "if it wasn't the lair of a dragon, who probably wouldn't be very happy about us being here."
"Oh, dragon, schmagon," she scoffed though her voice did become noticeably less blaring. "We're here anyways so we might as well take a good look around. What is it we're looking for again?"
"The Crystal Star," said Matthew with exasperation.
"Oh, right! Well, come on then. This castle isn't going to explore itself!" She skipped off, her ponytail bouncing merrily behind her.
Matthew called after her, "Goombella, wait!" but she was already far ahead. He sighed and then turned to Koops. "Do you have any idea where Hooktail might hide a Crystal Star?"
Koops twiddled his thumbs. "Well, um... in... in my dad's notes, he says... Hooktail keeps it all in his tower. So that's probably... wh-where it is..." He gulped.
Matthew wasn't too happy about that either, but he forced a smile and a nonchalant shrug. "Well, with any luck, Hooktail will be out and we can just sneak in and look for it. So then, how do we get to Hooktail's tower?"
Gradually, Koops raised his head and glanced around the room. At length, he opened his mouth.
Then they heard a scream.
Matthew exclaimed, "That was Goombella!" and he immediately sprinted off with Koops close behind him.
They found her before an opening into a hallway, aghast at the creature impeding the passage: a Dry Bones with a dry, raspy voice as it spoke, "...are the eternal watch of this fallen keep, the cursed servants to a king long since passed, revenants of His Majesty's house; centuries past, this was the center of a mighty kingdom, long since dwindled by the passage of time, its memory kept alive by its servants who know not the sweet embrace of death..."
Matthew spoke up loudly, "Hey, Goombella. You, uh, all right?" He considered adding, "This guy talks more than you do," but quickly dismissed the idea.
The Dry Bones' head clicked as he turned to them. "More intruders? Heh, that is more who will join our eternal vigil..."
Goombella snapped at Matthew and Koops, "You guys sure took your sweet time! While you were traipsing about like a couple of Clubbas, I've had to listen to this old geezer complaining about what it was like 'back in his day'. Normally, I appreciate a bit of history but this guy has more 'in the gloom of the dawn of our age' than anything remotely factual, I mean, seriously!"
They were all startled when the Dry Bones snapped, "FOOLS! Do you not grasp the weight of your doom? We are cursed to keep eternal vigil over this castle and any who trespass will join us! As one of us!"
"Oh yeah?" sneered Goombella. "You and what army?"
Matthew groaned aloud at the cliche and the inevitable response. With a cacophonous clatter, what he had taken to be part of the rubble started coming together into Dry Bones all around the massive room. Hundreds of Dry Bones. An entire army of them pulling themselves together to confront the threat against their castle - three hundred Dry Bones against the three of them.
"Uh, guys?" said Koops, his voice rising with emotion.
The Dry Bones behind them gave a hearty but dry laugh. "Now do you see? The impending weight of your doom? Tremble! Tremble before the might of King Koopence's undead army!"
It was a bad situation. They couldn't possibly take on an entire army of Dry Bones! Heck, they could barely take on Lord Crump and his chumps! In the face of such a dire predicament, there was only one thing Matthew could think to do.
"Fore!" he yelled and in an underhand swing sent the Dry Bones' head bouncing into the hallway and yelling indignantly.
"Come on!" he yelled to his friends, and the three of them fled down the hallway, the clatter of dry bones close behind them.
Of course, trying to flee inside a labyrinthine castle often leads to more trouble as the threesome would come to discover once they had shaken the Dry Bones off their tail - the least of which would be getting lost. Through twists and turns, up and down the landings, into passages long kept secret before they stumbled into it the three adventurers went to escape the vengeful castle inhabitants until they finally stumbled into the castle's apothecary, which reeked of dried herbs and shriveled animal carcasses but at least served to hide them from the Dry Bone army.
Though it seemed someone had found it first, for after a while in which they caught their breath they heard a titter, and a voice behind them spoke, "My, my."
It was a Mowzer. Something about her prompted them to put up their guards. It could have been the mischievous twinkle in her eye beneath the red swatch she wore, or the way her fingers were constantly questing toward their pockets. Matthew certainly wasn't going to allow himself to be seduced by her silky voice, her snow white skin, or even her tail provocatively curled in the shape of a heart.
"What sort of trouble have you all gotten yourselves into, hm?" she asked amusedly. "You look as though Hooktail himself is after you."
Matthew could have responded with some sharp witticism, given enough time to think it, but Goombella, in her usual brash way, was the first to open her mouth, "What's it to you?"
"Now, now, there's no need to get testy with me," said the Mowzer soothingly. She was clearly used to this sort of reaction. "I'm only curious as to what a couple of cuties like you are doing in such a dangerous place."
"We're actually here to fight Hooktail," Koops answered straightforwardly.
Matthew and Goombella stared at him. This was unexpected. The timid, young Koopa had undergone a startling transformation. The stammer had gone from his voice and in its place was a level confidence. A gleam of determination was in his eye and his mouth was set in a resolute line.
"Mmm," said the Mowzer, her eyes lighting up, "I'm intrigued. Not many are brave enough to challenge the dragon head-on. I, myself, prefer to tiptoe around him as I'm lightening his hoard."
"Aha!" cried Goombella. "I knew it! You're a thief, aren't you? Don't try to deny it!"
"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it," said the thief sweetly. She blew them a kiss and declared, "I am the White Shadow, the Laughing Breeze, the Velvet-Fingered Mowzer. Ms. Mowz at your humble service." She winked.
Koops bowed. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm afraid we don't have grand titles, but are known simply as Koops, Matthew, and Goombella."
"Excuse me!" Goombella objected. "I'm an archaeology student working her way to becoming a doctor in the field. You can't just lump me in with you..."
"You may wonder then why we decided to take on this dangerous task," Koops continued as though Goombella hadn't spoken. "Well, Hooktail's reign of terror has gone on for far too long and we knew that someone had to step up. It may as well be us."
"Mm-hm," said the thief with the air of someone sampling a particularly delicious croissant. "You are a bold bunch! I think I like you!" She winked. "And because I like you, I'd like to share something with you. Here." She flipped a key into the air, which trilled as it somersaulted toward the crew until Matthew snatched it. He gave it a look.
It was black.
"Yech!" Matthew dropped it as though it was disease-ridden, wiping his hands clean.
"Oh, don't be rude," said Ms. Mowz. "That's a special key that I snatched from around Hooktail's neck. Smells like very special treasure to me, and I'd like you to have it. Believe me when I say I don't give gifts like this very often."
Matthew glanced sharply at her. "But it's..."
With startling speed, Ms. Mowz scurried up the wall and perched on the windowsill. She blew them a kiss and trilled, "Good luck defeating that nasty dragon! I do hope we meet again!"
Koops placed a fist over his heart and declared solemnly, "Worry not for our sakes. We will stop the dragon. And we will meet again, I promise you."
"Adieu!" sang Ms. Mowz and a moment later she vanished out the window.
The three of them stood in silence for a while. Then Koops said thoughtfully, "I wonder where we'll meet her next? She is quite a woman, isn't she?"
Goombella eyes bulged. Then she said loudly, "Koops, you have a girlfriend!"
"Huh?"
Goombella proceeded to give him an earful about fidelity and wandering eyes while poor Koops scratched his head in bewilderment and murmured repeatedly, "Where is th-this coming from?" Matthew, meanwhile, stooped down and with some trepidation picked up the black key again. It did look remarkably similar to the key he had used before, leading to his curse. Would a dragon really hoard a chest with a curse in it? Maybe to trick anyone who tried stealing from him, but then why would he have the key around his neck? It couldn't have been easy to filch it from under his nose. Could it be that this key didn't go to a cursed treasure chest after all?
I suppose it makes sense, he told himself. After all, what are the odds there are two cursed treasure chests?
He pocketed the key, trying not to imagine it contaminating the inside and spreading through him like a dark purple stain. Then he jumped when he heard a voice at the window. "I do have one piece of advice."
Goombella snarled, "Oh, and what does a thief like you have to tell us?"
Ms. Mowz tittered. "Really, dear, you should learn to play nice. You'll have better success in landing a man."
Goombella sputtered, "Wha - how dare you! As if - what do you know? - it's not like-"
The thief tittered again. "Too easy, dear."
Goombella was too frazzled to respond coherently. Taking pity on her, Matthew turned to the Mowzer, "So what's your advice?"
"I hear tell that as fearsome as Hooktail is, he has an Achilles heel that could cripple him significantly, making your quest a breeze. A secret fear."
"A secret fear?" asked Koops. "What is it?"
"Well, if I knew, it wouldn't be a secret, now, would it?" She tittered. "But I have confidence you'll figure it out. You made it this far. Good luck!" With that, she vanished out the window again.
