(Eshiko Sugata's Opening Monologue)

Hello again, everyone. Sugata Eshiko at your service.

We have just reached Chapter 3, and you might be wondering, "Okay, is Sugata REALLY going to open every chapter with a lame-ass monologue?"

In answer to your question: yes, I am.

You see, in every episode of the original's anime adaptation, my male counterpart, Sugata Eishiro, began almost each episode with a very brief monologue; some of these were relevant to the episode, others weren't, but that's just the way it was.

But rest assured, you don't HAVE to read each of my monologues if you don't WANT to. Just head to where it says "(End of Opening Monologue)", followed by a horizontal line, and you can quickly get to the story you're so desperately wanting to read. (And by the way, they're both coming up right about...NOW.)

(End of Opening Monologue)


"*INHALE* Come on!" Sora pulled up his underwear to wrap around his waist. Then he looked at himself in a mirror. "Man, how do I keep getting BIGGER every morning?"

Sora opened the bedroom window and gazed out onto the rising sun, giving a warm smile. "Good morning, Tomo-chan!" he called out to Tomoko. But Tomoko didn't respond. "Is she STILL asleep?"

After getting his school uniform on, he walked on over to Tomoko's house. "Get up already!" he called out as he stepped into the house. "You're gonna be—"

But then he just remembered something from yesterday...


(Flashback)

Sora quickly rushed to school with his school briefcase hanging over his right arm. He had—

*RING* *RING* *RING*

Sora's phone suddenly began ringing.

*BEEP*

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mitsuki Sora. This is Sakurai Tomoko calling," said Tomoko on the other end of the line...in a strangely monotone voice. "I needed to call and let you know that I have been infected with a small cold at 800 hours and will not be able to attend school today. But I'm sure the cold will be subsidized by 000 hours tomorrow morning."

"Oh, okay. Well, I hope you feel better," Sora said before hanging up.

(End of Flashback)


"Hey, Tomo-chan, I hope you're feeling better," Sora said as she opened the door to Tomoko's bedroom...only to find her in her futon...with a pink-haired winged hunk right on top of her.

"Oh, never mind ME, Sora," said Tomoko nervously. "I was just trying to get this chain off my hand." She held up her chained hand to show—

Icarus suddenly pushed his face into Tomoko's cleavage. The next moment, the three of them chibitized and...

*CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP*


"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" Sora furiously asked the bruised Tomoko while pointing to Icarus. "WHO THE HELL IS THIS DUDE?! AND WHY IS HE IN YOUR BED?!"

"Well," groaned the perverted girl, "he...kinda...fell from the sky..."


"Do you honestly think I am THAT stupid?!" the modernized Sora asked as he stormed off to school later that day.

"Sora! It's TRUE!" Tomo cried as he ran right after her with a sweat drop on her temple and with Icarus flying right behind. "JUST LOOK BEHIND! HE'S REALLY FLYING! LOOK! SEE?!"

But Sora kept walking, not even daring to look back.

"ARRGH!" Tomoko continued rushing—


First, she rushed back home, taking Icarus with her. "First thing's first, I gotta get this stupid chain off my hand!"

"If the chain is truly that aggravating," said Icarus, "then allow me to remove it."

*FLASH*

The chain between Icarus' neck and Tomoko's hand disappeared.

"YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT SOONER, DUMBASS!" Tomoko screamed. "Alright, I'm off to school."

"Very well, Master."


Tomoko rushed off to school, eventually catching up to Sora. "SORA!" she cried. "Would you just LISTEN to me?"

"Why SHOULD I?" Sora asked as he turned around. "You—WHAT THE...!" Sora paused as he noticed something right behind Tomoko.

Confused, Tomoko looked behind and saw a modernized...

"ICARUS! I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD COME TO SCHOOL WITH ME!" She quickly began dragging Icarus away. "Why does this shit keep happening to me?!"


Sora and the modernized Tomoko quickly brought Icarus to Eshiko Sugata.

"So, you've come across an actual lifeform from the New World, eh?" asked the nerdy girl with glasses. "This is phenomenal!"

"The HELL it is!" Tomoko yelled. "How would you believe that?"

"Since your grandmother passed away, your parents are on vacation, and YOU are living alone, I believe your home is a perfect to look after her while I learn some more about him."

"WHAT?!" Tomoko's mouth hung wide open for a bit. "Ugh, fine...Icarus, go home and stay there until I return. Understand?"

"As you wish," Icarus responded as he took out his card and gave it to Tomoko. "Take this. It's an old-style transport card. Currently, I have run out of new ones. This card will—"

"Oh, never mind that. Just go home."


Later that day, during another class session, a chibitized Tomoko looked out the window, admiring the birds that flew by. "Ah, nothing but peace and quiet. It's not enough to make me forget about everything at happened these past few days, but it's a start." She took out her transport card. "I'd LOVE to try it out, but it's probably too dangerous, and it might ruin my peaceful life too quickly for me to comprehend."


*DING* *DONG* *DING* *DONG*

*DING* *DONG* *DING* *DONG*

The bell rang as class came to an end.

"Hey, Tomoko, wanna have lunch together?" asked Sora.

"Sure," Tomoko said as she got out of her desk.

"So, about Icarus," Sora asked as he and Tomoko began to leave the room, "is he really going to stay with you?"

"Yeah. Why? You're not upset, are you?"

"Upset?" asked Sora in a strangely angry tone. "It's just—"

*TRIP*

Sora suddenly tripped and fell over.

"Sheesh, Sora," said Tomoko. "You really should slo—WAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Tomoko saw Sora laying on the ground with his pants dropped and his underwear exposed; the underwear read "WOOF" and had a picture of a dog in the middle. Chibitized, Tomoko quickly looked away as Sora pulled up his pants and angrily asked, "Were you looking?"

"N-No," said Tomoko quickly.

"Didn't THINK so."

"But seriously, Sora, you're NOT a kid anymore. I could think of ONE pair of undies that would be more mature than a dog."

*ZOOM*

"AAHHH!" Sora suddenly screamed.

"What's wrong?" Tomoko asked suddenly.

She looked back at Sora, only to notice...

"Underwear!" exclaimed a student.

"Flying in the air!" exclaimed another.

*FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP*

"Are those men's underwear?" asked a modernized Tomoko. "Flying? What's going on?"

"Hey! Tomoko!" Sora growled as he tried to hold up his pants. "What's THAT in your pocket?"

Looking down, Tomoko saw her shirt pocket glowing. She reached in and pulled out her transport card that was now glowing. "Did this card just..." Tomoko watched in awe as the undies flew right out the window. Just then, she saw a shadow growing onto her. She turned around and...

*CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP*


"I CANOT believe you would DO something like that, Tomo-chan, you dumb BITCH!" Sora yelled as he climbed the stairs.

"I'm telling you: I didn't do nothing!" Tomoko claimed from behind him. "That CARD was—"

"Whatever! Right now, I need to find a place to change!"

*SLIDE*

Sora's pants slid down a bit.

"EEEK!" Tomoko gasped.

"GGRRRRRRRR!"

*CHOP*


(New World Discover Club)

"Senpai, can I borrow your room for a sec?" Sora asked Sugata.


"Mind telling me what happened, Tomoko?" Sugata asked.

"This card caused Sora's underwear to fly clean off and out the window," explained the chibitized Tomoko.


"That stupid pervert!" Sora groaned as he proceeded to put on another pair of—

*FLASH*

*FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP*

*ZOOM*

*CRASH*

The undies flew right out the window.


Sora tried another pair...

*ZOOM*


And another...

*ZOOM*


And another...

*ZOOM*


And another...

*ZOOM*


*ZOOM*


*ZOOM*


*ZOOM*


Eventually, Sora stood behind a curtain after Tomoko and Sugata came in to help him.

"Might I suggest you try some loincloth?" asked Sugata.

"Are you INSANE?" asked Tomoko.

"I have a number of underwear we can try," explained Sugata. "If we experiment with all of them, I'm sure we'll find a pair that'll work."

Reluctant, Sora took the loincloth and wrapped it around—

*FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP*

*ZOOM*


"A speedo..."

*ZOOM*


"Fishnet tights..."

*ZOOM*


"Roll bandage..."

*ZOOM*


"Seems like everything we try doesn't work," said Sugata.

"Oh man, Sora, I'm so sorry about your problem," said the now modernized Tomoko.

"And whose fault is THAT?!" Sora yelled as a demonic aura engulfed her body.

"C-C-CALM DOWN, SORA!" panicked the re-chibitized Tomoko.


*TING* *TING* *TING*

Icarus' ahoge began twitching back at Tomoko's house. "Is Master in danger?"


*ZOOM*

"Man, not even MY underwear works," said the modernized Tomoko.

"I swear to god," Sora growled, "when this comes to an end, SO WILL YOUR GODDAMN LIFE!"

"SORA!" panicked Tomoko again. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT THE CARD—"

"'Thought'!" exclaimed Sugata. "Tomoko, can I see your card?" She observed the card carefully. "By any chance, Tomoko, were you thinking about Sora without underwear while you had this in your pocket? Perhaps, this card granted your unconscious desire. Care to test it? Hold this card and think of anything you can."

"O-Okay." Tomoko took her card back. "Uh, handcuffs?"

*FLASH* *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP*

The card magically transformed into handcuffs that landed in the chibitized Tomoko's hands. "Oh, I think I get it..." Wasting no time, she slapped the handcuffs on her friend's wrists from behind.

"WHAT THE—What'd you just do?!" demanded Sora.

"Oh, nothing," said the perverted girl innocently. "Just a method I've been dying to try."

"...Did you forget?!" Sora asked. "I don't have anything under my pants. And WHAT do you think will happen...IF MY PANTS FALL DOWN?!"

Tomoko's eyes widened; she never thought of that.

*WHOOSH*

Sora's pants suddenly began to fall down.

"EEK..." The perverted girl desperately covered her eyes with her fingers, barely opening them in case something went different.

*FLAP*

"Is there a problem, Master?" Icarus suddenly appeared with his right-wing blocking Sora's waist.

"You just saved my life," Tomoko whispered. "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I—"

"Master?"

"I NEED UNDERWEAR! NOW!"

"As you wish," Icarus said as he held the transport card. "I shall collect all underwear within a 100-meter radius."

*FLASH* *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP* *POP*

A bunch of underwear appeared and fell upon Tomoko, knocking the perverted girl to the ground.

"Is this enough?" asked Icarus.

"HELL NO! MOST OF THESE FEEL LIKE THEY'VE ALREADY BEEN WORN!" Suddenly, Tomoko watched as the panties flew out the window, one-by-one.

"Are the undies...flying away?" asked Sora.

"So, tell me, Icarus: is Sora's underwear problem, as well as the handcuffs, all the card's doing?" asked Sugata.

"Affirmative," said the winged boy. "This card is a transport device; it calls for various things from Synapse. The older cards, however, can only grant one thing per card. For example: the card right here grants their master's desires by force.

"Oh, NOW I get it."

"W-What do you mean, Senpai?" asked Sora.

"I'll tell you, Mitsuki-dono. Pay attention: when you tripped earlier this morning, your pants accidentally fell off, exposing your underwear; when Tomoko spotted the underwear, they were not to her liking. Therefore, the card got activated and your underwear was forcefully removed."

"...So, it WAS you!" Sora growled at Tomoko.

"NO! I'm telling you! The CARD did it! Not ME!" Tomoko panicked again.

"In OTHER words, the only underwear that you'll be allowed to wear are the ones that Tomoko likes."


"I have bought every pair of underwear within the area," said Icarus later that evening.

"Okay, Icarus, can you help me put them on? asked Sora. "I STILL can't move my arms because of these stupid handcuffs."

"As you wish."


"Are you sure this'll work?" the modernized Tomoko asked Sugata; both girls waited outside the room.

"Positive," said the glasses girl.


Icarus held a pair in front of Sora in the changing room. After Sora stepped into the holes, the Angeloid began pulling them up.

"Hey, Icarus, I'm sorry for making you do this," Sora said in a sorry tone.

"Oh no, it's fine," said the Angeloid.

"You sure are nice, ya know that? Thank you, Icarus."

*FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP*

*ZOOM*

The briefs suddenly flew out the window.

"Dammit!" Sora grunted as he slammed his foot.

"Apologies. Let us try the next pair."

*ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM* *ZOOM*


"DAMMIT!" Sora screamed as he stomped his foot repeatedly later that night; almost every pair of briefs had flown out the window.

"Sora-dono, there is still one more pair left to try." Icarus held up the last pair of men's briefs; on the briefs showed a picture of a cute anime bear with the word "GOWRR" above it. "Shall we try it on?"


Sugata and a modernized Tomoko continued waiting outside.

"Man, how long has it been?" asked Sora.

"Long enough for me to go home," said Sugata. "May God have mercy on your soul, Tomoko." The glasses-wearing girl began—

"NO! PLEASE!" Tomoko grabbed Sugata's arm in fear. "DON'T LEAVE ME!"

"YES!"

*SLIDE*

"I FINALLY FOUND A PAIR!" Sora cheered as he opened the door. "AND LOOK!" He held up the transporter card. "The handcuffs disappeared as well."

"REALLY?!" asked Tomoko in joy.

"Yes," explained Icarus. "The card ran out of power. So, everything has returned to normal."

"THANK GOD!" Tomoko collapsed to her knees and palms in relief. "I don't wanna think about underwear for a LONG TIME!"


"Again, I'm sorry about what I did," Tomoko called out to Sora from within her bedroom.

"Eh, it's fine. Just as long as it was all worked out in the end," Sora called out from within his bedroom.

"I swear, I didn't know Icarus' card was so powerful."

"Yeah, I know...Hey, Tomo-chan, are you and Icarus really going to be living together?"

"Uh-huh. She got nowhere else to go. And besides, he seems to be command-obedient."

"Heh, ya haven't change, Tomo-chan. You're still the same silly little girl from back then, always bringing home lost puppies and removing their collars because you resented them being abandoned."

"Huh?"

"Oh, never mind. Good night!" Sora quickly slammed his window shut.


Meanwhile, Icarus floated in the night sky, looking down onto the world that has become his home.

End