(Eshiko Sugata's Opening Monologue)

Hello again, everyone. Sugata Eshiko at your service.

Now you might've noticed the words "chibitized" and "modernized" throughout the previous chapters. Why are those words there? Because, "modernized" people are regularly shaped humans, while "chibitized" characters are shrunken down to their super-deformed appearances, about a fraction of their normal size.

You probably think this style wasn't in neither the original anime NOR the manga, right? Actually, it WAS. There are PLENTY of moments where the original characters appear "modernized", but then get "chibitized".

Why? I don't know, maybe it was to fit the comedy of the original manga.

But how will this work in the fanfic? Simple: when each chapter begins, you're supposed to assume that the characters are "modernized", but when you see the "chibitized" word, then the certain characters are "chibitized". Also, while they are "chibitized", they don't become "modernized" until prompted, so keep an eye out for that, will you? Good.

(End of Opening Monologue)


"Listen close, Icarus: I have a very important errand for you," said Tomoko. "For the last few weeks, you've been acting FAR too eccentric and emotionless to be a tolerable human. So long as you live under my roof, you need to learn how to act like a human being. So here is what I want you to do: go to the marketplace and buy some ingredients for tonight's dinner; we'll be having curry tonight. Understand?"

"As you wish, Master."

*FLAP*

Icarus leapt into the air and flew off to the—

"HOLD IT!"

*CHING* *BOING* *THUD*

Icarus' collar suddenly appeared on his master's hand, which Tomoko used to yank her Angeloid servant face first onto the ground.


"Here you go." Tomoko gave Icarus a shopping list and some money. "This list contains all the ingredients you'll need to buy, and don't forget to give money to the market clerks when you buy something."

"As you wish, Master."

*FLAP*

Icarus leapt into the air and flew off to the—

"HOLD IT!"

*CHING* *BOING* *THUD*

Icarus' collar suddenly appeared on his chibitized master's hand, which Tomoko used to yank her chibitized Angeloid servant face first onto the ground.

"Do you HONESTLY think humans fly to the market?" asked Tomoko.

"Affirmative," answered Icarus.

"NO! THEY DON'T!"


And so, the modernized U.M.A. walked through the marketplace with a brown basket case in his left arm, and the shopping list in his right hand. He made a quick stop to look at the grocery list:

Carrots
Curry Sauce
Meat
Onions
Potatoes

Icarus looked around the marketplace, when suddenly...something caught his eyes: a stand of watermelon. Intrigued, the Angeloid fell to his knees and began petting one of the watermelons on the stand.

"Heh, you like that watermelon, don't cha?" asked the stand runner. "Well then, how about I give you a discount?"


Little did Icarus know that his master was right around a corner, observing her Angeloid's actions. "I know I shouldn't be following him, but I need to make sure this idiot gets everything he NEEDS to get. And not the shit he DOES NOT need! I'll let the watermelon go, but only if you get everything else right!"


"Carrots." Icarus picked up some carrots.


"Potatoes." Icarus picked up a bag of potatoes.


"Onions." Icarus picked up a bag of string jelly.


"Dammit, Icarus!" thought Tomoko. "You just missed the onions. Well, whatever, I'll let it slide as long as you remember the meat. After all, that's the MOST important ingredient in making curry!"


Making his purchases, Icarus walked off with the groceries in his basket, while holding the watermelon in his arms. He then made a stop and turned and walked toward the stand on his left. "Meat." He reached into the box and pulled out a baby chick.


"EEEEEEK! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, ICARUS?! THAT'S NOT MEAT! OH SHIT! I CAN'T WATCH ANYMORE! I GOTTA GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!" With a waterfall of tears in her eyes, Tomoko desperately rushed all the way home.


Later that night, Tomoko, now modernized, sat at the table with a plate of curry right in front of him, made by his Angeloid servant who knelt at the opposite end of the table. "Wow! This actually looks really good. Maybe I WAS a bit too hard on him." So, she picked up her chopsticks, which she used to pick up the food, and put the food in her mouth...

*FLASH*

Suddenly, Tomoko's taste buds brought him back to his childhood days with his mother...


(Flashback)

"Here you go," Tomoko's mother said as she presented a plate of her cooking to her son and had a warm smile on her face.

Excited, Tomoko picked up the food with her chopsticks and put it in her mouth...

*FLASH*

"MMMM! Delicious!" Tomoko cried. "What IS this, Mama?"

"Why, thank you, Tomoko," said his mother. "It's Mama's famous recipe: meat & potato stew."

(End of Flashback)


"DAMMIT, ICARUS!" Tomoko screamed as she chibitized and shot up onto her feet. "THIS IS MEAT & POTATO STEW! NOT CURRY!" Grabbing the meal, she furiously threw it at her chibitized Angeloid's face...

*SPLAT*

End of Volume 1