(Eshiko Sugata's Opening Monologue)
Hello again, everyone. Sugata Eshiko at your service.
Today, I shall be discussing the casting choices for "HLP (Seitenkan)". First things first: the genders: for females, their voices will be females (logically); for males who are fifteen and older, the males will fill the casting range; for males who are twelve and younger, their voices will instead be FEMALES, since MANY females are known to voice young boys; for males thirteen or fourteen years old, their Japanese voice actor is FEMALE, while the English dub will be done by a MALE.
For the cast of the Japanese version, ANYONE is eligible, so long as they are still active and/or alive; for the English dub, only those who worked for Funimation may be allowed. (Also, keep in mind that MrWii000 only genderbends dubbed Funimation harem anime.)
You see, Funimation is the company that not only licensed, but also dubbed/produced the ORIGINAL Heaven's Lost Property anime; therefore, anyone who has THREE or more Funimation roles under their belt may be put onto this fanfic; however, anyone with TWO or less will NOT be allowed into the series, though there ARE a few exceptions (we'll get to that later).
For the lead female character, A.K.A. the Harem Queen, a female Funimation voice actor takes the role. Also, if the original Harem King is briefly turned into female, the same voice actress(es) would reprise their role. Simple, right?
As for the Harem Queen's members, MrWii000 prefers Funimation voice actors who HAVE worked with Funimation on three or more occasions, but reside in California, regardless of whether they've ALWAYS lived there, or decided to start living there after moving from Texas (where Funimation is located). Also, at least ONE harem member is allowed to be voiced by a non-Funimation actor, but that actor must've originally been in TokyoPop's Californian dub of Initial D, Gold Harmony's Californian dub of the original Dragon Ball anime, Bang Zoom!'s Californian dub of Dragon Ball Super, Anime Work's Californian dub of the first YuYu Hakusho movie, 4Kids' New York dub of One Piece, Viz Media's Californian dub of the first The Prince of Tennis anime, Dubbing Brothers/Prime Video's French/Houston/(maybe) Californian dub of the Rebuild of Evangelion tetralogy, or Bandai's Canadian dub of both the anime and movie version of Escaflowne. Why? Because there are some certain actors that MrWii000 wants to work more (if ever) for Funimation once in a while, and while SOME are fortunate enough, OTHERS still haven't gotten the chance.
Finally, I'll probably talk about the voice actors themselves in FUTURE chapters if the fanbase wants it...or if MrWii000 runs out of opening monologues for me...OR if there will be some casting changes...
(End of Opening Monologue)
It was another beautiful morning for the town of Sorami. Tomoko awoke from her nighttime sleep and opened the bedroom door so she could stretch out her arms. "Such perfect weather," she said happily. "Nothing but peace and quiet." She turned around to—
*FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP*
Tomoko quickly turned back—
*BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM*
—and was BOMBARDED by...
"BRIEFS!" Tomoko screamed as she chibitized and crawled out of the pile. "Where did all these BRIEFS come from?!"
"I don't know," said a chibitized Icarus. "Perhaps they migrated back home like birds."
"'Migrated back home like birds'?" Tomoko noticed a peculiar pattern of one of the briefs: it read "WOOF" and had a picture of a dog in the middle. 'Wait a sec..."
(Flashback)
Tomoko saw Sora laying on the ground with his pants dropped and his underwear exposed; the underwear read "WOOF" and had a picture of a dog in the middle. Chibitized, Tomoko quickly looked away as Sora pulled up his pants and angrily asked, "Were you looking?"
"N-No," said Tomoko quickly.
"Didn't THINK so."
"But seriously, Sora, you're NOT a kid anymore. I could think of ONE pair of undies that would be more mature than a dog."
*ZOOM*
"AAHHH!" Sora suddenly screamed.
"What's wrong?" Tomoko asked suddenly.
She looked back at Sora, only to notice...
"Underwear!" exclaimed a student.
"Flying in the air!" exclaimed another.
(End of Flashback)
"Oh yeah!" Tomoko whispered. "So, are YOU saying all these briefs returned?" she asked her Angeloid.
"Yes. They must've circled the world, and then returned to YOU, Master."
"'To ME'?" the modernized perverted girl looked around at the briefs that encircled her. "They came back to ME? I...I...I'VE NEVER FELT SO HAPPY!" With tears of joy, she embraced all the men's underwear she could into her arms.
*TING*
Tomoko suddenly chibitized as she felt a familiar, terrifying aura right behind her. "I-I-It's NOT what it—"
*CHOP*
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
*CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP* *CHOP* *RIP*
Now the entire room was full of MOSTLY shredded briefs; Sora was faced away from Tomoko with his eyes closed and his fists on his hips. "How COULD you?!" Tomoko cried as he held a bunch of those shredded briefs in her arms and cried her eyes out in shear agony. "HOW COULD YOU COMMIT SUCH A HORRENDOUS CRIME?! YOU'RE A MURDERER! YOU ENDED THEIR LIVES!"
"Actually," explained Icarus, "I think this is because the card effect merely wore off."
"Doesn't matter," Sora said as he turned around. "You've gotta get rid of them, okay, Tomo-chan?"
"Sure thing, Sora!" Tomoko said with a pair of briefs over her head.
*CHOP*
"TOMO-CHAN! Would it KILL you to NOT be a slutty pervert for just...ONE...DAY?" Just then, Sora noticed a bunch of Icarus' cards on the ground; a villainous smile loomed on his face as he got an idea. "Hey, Icarus..." He whispered some important details into Icarus' ear.
"Yes, it can be done," said the Angeloid.
The next morning, Tomoko was asleep in her futon.
"Hey, Tomo-chan!" Sora called out from her house. "Did you get rid of all the briefs from yesterday?!"
"*ZZZZ*...Yeah, whatever...*ZZZZ*" snored Tomoko.
"Good!"
But the little pervert sat up in her futon, holding a pair of briefs in her hands.
*TICK*
"Yeah right!" she whispered to herself.
*TICK*
"Sorry, Sora."
*TICK*
"THIS time, I REALLY DID try to do what you asked..."
*TICK*
"...but every maturing man is SUPPOSED to own their own pair of panties..."
*TICK*
"...therefore, every maturing WOMAN has to keep her own pair of—"
*BOOM*
An explosion suddenly rattled and decimated Tomoko's entire room, leaving the little female pervert lying face down on the floor.
"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" she screamed as she got onto her knees.
"AHA! I KNEW IT!"
Tomoko looked out her window and saw her friend glaring at her. "I'm gonna be borrowing Icarus-kun and his cards for the day," Sora said as he closed his eyes and smiled. "The briefs...shall EXPLODE! Well, NOT right off the bat, they'll only do so if they cross your eyesight. I did it hoping it would knock some of that slutty perversion out of you. But judging from the explosion I just heard, you didn't throw out ANY pair, DID you?"
Tomoko hung her mouth wide open as she couldn't believe what Sora did to her.
"Anyways, Icarus-kun and I are going out for an all-boys day out," continued Sora. "We'll be back in a couple hours. Good luck staying alive till then! See ya!" He turned around to—
"SORA! WAIT!" cried Tomoko.
"What?" Sora asked as he turned back. "You wanna apologize for lying?"
"No, I-ICARUS TOOK YOUR BRIEFS WHILE YOU WERE TALKING TO ME!"
"WHAT?! ICARUS!" Sora angrily turned to the Angeloid. "GIMME BACK MY...Wait a sec! No, he didn't!" Enraged, Sora removed her pants to show his briefs to the female pervert.
*TICK*
"I'm still WEARING—"
*TICK*
But just then, he paused and noticed something...
*TICK*
Tomoko had a mischievous grin on her face.
*TICK*
"Why the hell is she..."
*TICK*
"Oh SHIT!"
*BOOM*
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
A huge explosion rattled Sora's room.
"Hee hee hee hee, gotcha!" giggled Tomoko. "You knew I couldn't see your briefs under the windowsill, but you ALWAYS get changed with your window open! Serves you right, asshole!" She then crouched under her windowsill and held a hand under her mouth as she began laughing. "AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH!"
"ARGH! YOU BITCH!" Sora screamed as he began throwing stuff at Tomoko. "I CHANGE MY MIND! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL, YOU PERVERT!"
After changing into a new pair of briefs, Sora left his house with Icarus. "C'mon, Icarus-kun, let's have some fun!"
"Just a second," said the emotionless Angeloid. "Master is in—"
"Forget about her. Your master has to take care of herself today." Sora took Icarus' hand, and they walked off together.
"Aw man," Tomoko gasped. "If I see any briefs, they'll explode. "Goddamn you, Sora. Don't you realize that every maturing woman is supposed to treasure her own pair of briefs? Whatever, I gotta get outta here!"
*SLIDE*
Throwing her door open, Tomoko rushed to the hallway...which had briefs hung up on the wall. "Dammit, I hung up the briefs all over my hallway!"
*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
Tomoko managed to hide himself behind the wall as the briefs exploded. "I'LL NEVER SURVIVE IF I KEEP SEEING...wait a sec...they'll only explode if I LOOK at them..." Tomoko had the clever idea of wrapping a blindfold around her eyes, then began to move along the walls of her house. "And since I know my own house, this labyrinth will be a—"
*PAT*
But then Tomoko bumped into a hanging pair of briefs.
*BOOM*
Tomoko was now laying on the ground as smoke flew from her body. "I CAN'T TOUCH THEM EITHER?! DAMMIT, HE THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING, DIDN'T HE?!" thought the perverted girl. "FINE, I'LL JUST JUMP OUT THE WINDOW!"
*SLIDE*
Tomoko threw open her door, leading to her backyard...which ALSO had a bunch of briefs hanging around. "Crap, I KNEW I shouldn't've hung them up in my yard!"
*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
A shockwave from the explosion sent Tomoko flying.
"Fine, I'll just hide in the bathroom." Upon reaching her bathroom, Tomoko slid the door open and removed her blindfold...only to see a bunch of briefs in the toilet.
Tomoko couldn't do anything but shut her eyes and smile. "Son of a—"
*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
*TING* *TING* *TING*
Icarus' ahoge twitched as he sat at a table at a restaurant he and Sora attended.
"What's wrong, Icarus-kun?" Sora asked as he approached Icarus.
"Master is—"
"NO! You're NOT helping out that evil bitch right now! She NEEDS to learn her lesson." Sora yelled as he sat on the opposite side of the table. "Here!" Sora passed an ice cream shake to the Angeloid. "This is my treat for you."
"Master is...evil?"
Hearing Icarus' words, Sora gave a concerned look. "Well...I mean she IS a sick, creepy slut, but that does NOT necessarily make her evil. Oh, never mind. Tell me: is this your first time going out to eat?"
Icarus nodded.
"Well, don't you have any friends to hang out with?" asked Sora.
Icarus shook his head.
"Oh...um...sorry I asked," said Sora quickly. "You know, it sorta reminds me of MYSELF when I first moved here. You see, back then, when I was younger, I was ALWAYS sick, so I had to stay indoors most of my life. And aside from Tomo-chan, I NEVER had any friends. Then one day, on my birthday, Tomo-chan was the only one who attend, and you wanna know what she gave me? An orange tree seed she got from her grandma, but since she gave it to me, I planted it in the backyard, so my family and I were able to have oranges for an entire year! Heh heh heh. It was the BEST birthday of my life. She may act the way she is, but she's ALSO very kind, understanding, and dependable...b-but that STILL doesn't condone her for being a slutty pervert. I mean, there were times when she REALLY pissed me off as well. Like, one day, Tomo-chan and I were practicing karate, and while I was—"
*TING* *TING* *TING*
"Master will die if we don't return home," interrupted Icarus.
"Huh?" Sora checked his watch. "Oh, alright, I guess she HAS suffered enough; next time we go out, I'm gonna introduce you something that REAL men do..."
Sometime later...
*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
"*PANT* *PANT* *PANT* ALMOST THERE!" Tomoko made a last turn in her house and was now facing the final hallway that led to her front door...all while the briefs continued to explode all around him. "HOME STRETCH!"
*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
Tomoko sprinted for the door, ready to—
*SLIDE*
"Tomo-chan," said Sora, "we're—"
*BAM*
Tomoko suddenly crashed into Sora. As she opened her eyes, she began freaking out...
*TICK*
Sora opened her eyes and sat up...
*TICK*
...rubbing the back of his head.
*TICK*
As he looked down, he saw his pants accidentally dropped and Tomoko right in-between his legs...
*TICK*
...with her eyes wide open.
*TICK*
"OH F—"
*BOOM* *CRASH*
The final explosion was SO big that it ultimately destroyed Tomoko's house.
By the time the smoke settled down, Tomoko's house was gone; Tomoko and a chibitized Sora were lying face down on the floor, covered in dust and ashes, while a chibitized Icarus looked over the two soot-covered teenagers.
"I hate you, Tomo-chan," Sora furiously muttered. "I really...really...REALLY hate you!"
End
