(Eshiko Sugata's Opening Monologue)

Hello again, everyone. Sugata Eshiko at your service.

Has anyone ever seen Episode 5 of the ORIGINAL HLP anime?

If so, then you can ignore this monologue.

If not, let me explain (SPOILER ALERT): after his house was destroyed by the exploding panties in the previous episode, Tomoki was forced to stay with Satsukitane Mikako's yakuza family, along with Icarus, Sohara, and male-Sugata visiting; however, Tomoki accidentally trespassed into the forbidden Decapitation Bath and, to avoid death, was forced to remain on an uninhabited island with his friends, but this was a ploy instigated by Mikako and their family for their amusement (and for revenge).

Similarly, in Chapter 9 of the ORIGINAL HLP manga (as well as its Seitenkan counterpart), Tomoki indeed trespassed into the Decapitation Bath, but the events o the islands were removed and NOT explored until Chapter 17 (THIS Chapter)

Long story short, the anime seems to rearrange a lot of events from the manga, and since MrWii000's fanfic covers the manga events, NOW we shall finally explore how Tomoko shall survive on an uninhabited island.

(End of Opening Monologue)


"Mornin', y'all!" Makoto greeted as he entered the room.

Tomoko arose from her futon, with Icarus and Nymph looking at him. All of a sudden, Tomoko noticed Sugata and Sora sleeping in their futons right next to her, much to the perverted girl's confusion.

"We'll be landin' inna few minutes," said Makoto. "Thank ya fer joinin' me to my family's uninhabited island!"

"Wait? What?!" Leaping out of her futon, Tomoko rushed over to the doors and opened them up, only to find out that she was in an airplane. "WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?!"


"WOW! This place looks awesome!" yelled Sora right after landing; along with the rest of the passengers (minus Sugata), he was now wearing a swimsuit. "Check out the ocean!"

"Welcome to my family's private island," said Makoto. "Please make yerselfs at home."

"Uh, Prez," asked Tomoko, "what are we doing on an uninhabited island anyways?"

"Well, it was either THIS, or survival exercises ova summer vacation."

"Huh?" Tomoko chibitized in confusion.

"Eshi-chan was very fond of da latter, but I forced her to abandon dat idea," explained the yakuza gangsta. "Gotta problem wit dat?"

"Whoa! Prez, thanks for saving us from that idea!" thanked Sora.

"Yeah, thanks…" said Tomoko.

"Anytime, homie."

"So, who's ready to get wet?" asked Sora.

"Just a second, Sora," said Sugata. "We're on an uninhabited island, so we need to prepare ourselves; first, we need to get some food."

"Wait a sec! I thought Prez owned this island. Shouldn't he have something like a summerhouse?" asked the modernized Tomoko.

"Yeah, uh…DAT got destroyed last year," Makoto said as he scratched the back of his head. "Sorry."

"WHAT?!" Tomoko and Sora yelled.

"Which means that there's no time to mess around," said the glasses-wearing girl. "Tomoko, Icarus, you go try to find some foods. The rest of us will look for drinking water."


Tomoko and Icarus walked along the seaside.

"Hey, Icarus, you can go hunt some bream or tuna in the waters around here, okay?" suggested the master.

"As you wish, Master," said the Angeloid.

"Catch some good ones, okay?"

"As you wish, Master." Extending his wings, Icarus flew off unto the big blue sea.

Just then, Tomoko noticed something at the top of a palm tree. "HEY! An actual coconut crab! I've always wanted to try one." Chibitizing, Tomoko climbed up the tree and grabbed the crab by its—

*BAM*

The crab brutally punched the female pervert in the stomach repeatedly.

*BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* *BAM*

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!"


After recovering from the attack, a modernized Tomoko walked through the jungle for food. "Man, I'm hungry." Just then, she noticed some mushrooms on the ground. "Oh no! Those don't look good, but…ZZZ…"


"…Tomo-chan! TOMO-CHAN! COME ON! WAKE UP! PLEASE!" cried the voice of Sora.

Tomoko slowly opened her eyes as she regained consciousness, noticing that she was in a ginormous hole, and Sora was holding her in his arm. "Ugh…Sora? W-What happened?"

"Oh, thank God you're okay!"

"What's going on? Where's everyone else?"

"I don't know! We got separated from—"

*ROAR*

"EEK! WHAT WAS THAT?!" Tomoko panicked.

"What we were RUNNING from!" said Sora. "Don't worry. We'll be alright. First, let's get outta this hole. Then, first thing in the morning, we'll search for everyone else."


Early the next morning, Tomoko and Sora searched the island for the whereabouts of Makoto, Sugata, Icarus, and Nymph, but days went by and there was no luck.

They created an S.O.S. message every morning, hoping for someone to rescue them.

Every night, they would hide in a hut made out of palm tree leaves to shelter themselves from the cold…and the continuous roaring; Tomoko began fearing that their friends were eaten.

Days turned into months, and there was STILL no rescue…


One month later, Tomoko and Sora were finally getting use to the island life; they suffered major sunburn and their swimsuits got ripped up, so they were now wearing leaves over their waists and Tomoko's breasts.

In the morning, Sora would go hunting for fish, while Tomoko would make soup from the captured fish.

Then, one night, Tomoko and Sora sat by the edge of the island, looking out over the horizon.

"Hey, Tomo-chan," Sora tearfully whispered, "do you think anybody will come to save us?"

"…I don't know," whispered Tomoko, "but maybe we don't NEED to be rescued!"

"What?!"

"I mean, think about it, you and I are probably the only ones here on this island. Do you know what this could mean?"

The two childhood friends looked at each other, their eyes watering as they stared into each other.

"…Tomo-chan…"

"…Sora…"

And so, they slowly leaned their heads forward…inch…by inch…by—

*SPLASH* *ROAR*

Suddenly, a giant sea monster emerged from the water, shocking the teenagers.

"ACK! TOMO-CHAN! RUN!" cried Sora.

But the sea monster's tentacle lifted Tomoko into the air by her right ankle.

"SORA! RUN! SAVE YOURSELF! DON'T WORRY! I'LL BE FINE!" Tomoko cried.

"…N-NO!" Sora cried. "YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, TOMO-CHAN! I WON'T LEAVE YOU!" Sora charged at the monster, determined to save Tomoko. "LET HER GO, YOU MONSTER!"

*CHOP*

With one strong karate chop, the monster stopped moving. Just then, a bunch of cracks sprung all over its body, before…

*BOOM*

…it exploded, revealing Icarus, carrying a big tuna in his right arm.

"WHA…?!" gasped Sora.

"ICARUS?!" gasped Tomoko.

The two teenagers chibitized in confusion, along with the Angeloid.

"I apologize for my delay, Master," said Icarus; on top of his head was a seashell that stuck out. "The only place I could find tuna was in the southern hemisphere."

"Sora, it looks like oysters and seaweed," Tomoko said as she observed the ground.

"Huh? Are you telling me that they were stuck to Icarus?" asked Sora.

"Correct," explained Icarus, "while walking on the ocean floor, everything started attaching to my body."

"But, what was with the roaring?" asked Tomoko. "And where are the others?"

"I will check for them on my radar." After scanning the area, the modernized Angeloid took a few steps before stopping, then threw a punch at…

*BAM* *CREEK* *THUD*

A wall suddenly fell down, revealing Sugata, Nymph, and Makoto all sitting at a table, looking at the two confused teens and chibitized Angeloid (the yakuza gangsta had his feet up on the table with a soda can in his hand). With a smug smile, Makoto took out his cell phone and pushed "Play" on the screen…which played the "*ROAR*".

"Congratulations, you two," said Sugata. "You've both passed your survival exercises. We've observed all your progress."

"Especially…" Releasing a TV from the ceiling, Makoto began playing some footage.


"Hey, Tomo-chan," Sora tearfully whispered, "do you think anybody will come to save us?"

"…I don't know," whispered Tomoko, "but maybe we don't NEED to be rescued!"

"What?!"

"I mean, think about it, you and I are probably the only ones here on this island. Do you know what this could mean?"

The two childhood friends looked at each other, their eyes watering as they stared into each other.

"…Tomo-chan…"

"…Sora…"

And so, they slowly leaned their heads forward…inch…by inch…by—


"Sorry 'bout ruinin' yo 'Adam & Eve' moment," the yakuza gangsta giggled.

"Wait a sec…" Sora hissed in a modernized tone as his "Doom" mode began to trigger. "Tomo-chan…are you telling me that by 'what this could mean'…you meant…YOU MEANT…"

"…S-Sora, please, calm down," panicked the modernized female pervert. "I swear! I didn't know! I—"

"YOOOOOOOU BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!"

*CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP* *CHOP*

(BTW, Nymph was bribed by candy to observe the testing.)

End