(Eshiko Sugata's Opening Monologue)

Hello again, everyone. Sugata Eshiko at your service.

In 1996, the rock band Hybrid Theory was formed. The band consisted of vocalist/rapper/keyboardist/rhythm guitarist Mike Shinoda, lead guitarist Brad Delson, bassist Dave Farrell, turntablist "Mr." Joe Hahn, drummer Rob Bourdon, and lead singer Mark Wakefield.

In 2000, Chester Bennington replaced Wakefield as lead singer as the band re-named themselves Linkin Park and released their first album: Hybrid Theory.

Linkin Park became an influential nu metal/electronic rock band in the 2000s, with hit songs including "In the End", "Numb", "What I've Done", "Burning in the Skies", "Burn It Down", "Until It's Gone", and "One More Light".

Unfortunately, in 2017, Chester Bennington committed suicide by hanging himself…two months after the suicide of his friend: Soundgarden lead singer Chris Cornell.

I am bringing this up because one of Linkin Park's songs will be included in today's chapter to honor Bennington's memory. RIP, Chester Bennington.

(End of Opening Monologue)


Tomoko, Icarus, Sora, and Nymph were walking through a cultural festival at their school.

"So, what's a cultural festival anyways?" asked Nymph.

"It's a place where classes set up their clubs to advertise it to the entire school," explained Sora.

"Master, do you intend to participate in any clubs?" asked Icarus.

"Nah, clubs aren't really my thing," said Tomoko. "Beside, they'll just ruin my peace and—"

"I've been looking all over for you, Tomoko." All of a sudden, Sugata appeared from behind Tomoko and grabbed her arms. "I have special plans for you: how do you like to test a piloted bottle rocket?"

"HELL NO!"

"I insist, Tomoko. It would be a great honor to be selected from our plethora of memb—"

"I AIN'T NO MEMBER OF YOUR GODDAMN CLUB!"

"Oh my!" said the voice of a pompous young lady. "This has got to be the most pathetic cultural festival I've ever seen!"

"I agree, big sister Yoshiko," said a younger man right next to her. "What kind of lower-class losers would actually wanna throw a cultural festival anyways?"

A group of differently dressed students suddenly approached the group, led by the two who were speaking just now.

"ARGH! Those academy bastards!" growled a chibitized Tomoko.

"Who are they?" asked Nymph.

"Students from Sorami Academy," explained Sora. "Every year, due to lack of students, we co-organize cultural festivals together."

The two student groups glared each other down, creating sparks.

"Seems you don't get along," said Icarus.

"Lots of sparks," Nymph whispered to himself.

"Hey, Tsukune, do you notice that they've made flowers out of cardboard?" Yoshiko asked her brother.

"How can lowlifes even display "culture" when they can't even light a fire?" asked her younger brother.

"And just what the hell are YOU assholes doing for this year's festival?" asked Tomoko furiously.

"Us?" asked Tsukune. "Why, WE shall be performing…"

"…furuoke," concluded Yoshiko.

"Say WHAT?!" Tomoko suddenly burst into laughter. "You're gonna be taking baths throughout the entire festival?! That's gotta be—"

*CHOP*

Chibitized, Sora karate chopped the clueless female pervert on the head.

"They said furuoke," corrected Sugata.

"It's short for 'full orchestra'," explained Sora.

"These Sorami Prefectural Middle School lowlifes don't even know what a full orchestra is?" laughed Tsukune.

"Let's get outta here!" Yoshiko left the festival with his sister and the rest of the academy students, laughing in embarrassment.

"Way to go, Tomo-chan," groaned Sora. "Now you just made FOOLS out of us!"

"Well, we've gotta show those pompous jerks a thing or two!" Tomoko yelled in fury as she got up and modernized.

"Like WHAT?"

"I say," said a certain voice from behind Tomoko and her friends, "we fite fire wit fire. We can make our own rock band and show dem losers dis is OUR hood, homies." It was none other than Makoto.


And so, the group gathered in the music room to create their own performance and overthrow the Sorami Private Academy students.

*PENYO~N*

The chibitized Icarus played the tambourine.

*PENYO~N* *PENYO~N* *PENYO~N* *PENYO~N* *PENYO~N* *PENYO~N* *PENYO~N* *PENYO~N* *PENYO~N* *PENYO~N* *PENYO~N*

"How can he make a tambourine sound like THAT?" Tomoko thought.

*TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT*

Sugata blew out of a conch.

*TAP* *TAP* *TAP* *TAP* *TAP* *TAP* *TAP* *TAP*

Sora played the drums, but a drumstick fell out of his hand.

*PLUCK* *PLUCK* *PLUCK* *PLUCK* *PLUCK* *PLUCK*

Makoto played bass, surprisingly not that badly.

"Man, we totally suck," dreaded Tomoko as she played acoustic guitar. "But we GOTTA get better if we're gonna beat those academy punks."

All of a sudden, the beautiful sound of the piano rung through the entire room; Nymph was playing the keyboard with headphones hooked from the keyboard to his Angeloid ears.

"Wow, that's amazing," admired Tomoko.

"Yeah, Nymph-san, I didn't know you could play like that!" admired Sora.

"Aw, no, I wouldn't say THAT," said Nymph. "I'm just good with machines."

"If we can get you to fill in on the hard parts," suggested Sugata, "it'll look less like we're winging it."

"SWEET! We'll show those losers who's number ONE around here," Tomoko said. "We're counting on you, Nymph!"


"Alright, Icarus," said Tomoko to her chibitized Angeloid later that evening. "Screw the tambourine, try something else."

"As you wish, Master."


(One Performance Later)

The entire room was stunned at what Icarus just did.


The next day, the cultural festival had begun.

Inside the performance hall, the entire crowd sat in their seats as the curtains rose for the academy's "full orchestra".


After the performance of Dvorak's 9th Symphony "From the New World", the curtains closed as the confident Hououin siblings smiled with glee. Just then, the curtains opened once again for the chibitized band made by the New World Discovery Club.


My Tingling Breasts
(by Tomoko Sakurai)

Soft where it feels good…
You and us. We're all Soft…
It's how God decided to make us.
My boobs are jiggling; I'm scared.
Softly, with your hand, see how they tremble so—


*CHOP*

"I don't remember our song being 'My Tingling Breasts' as the song we play," Sora said after he karate chopped Tomoko's head.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH!" The entire audience broke out into laughter.

"I CAN'T SAY I ENJOYED IT!" laughed Yoshiko sarcastically. "BECUASE, I DIDN'T!"

"ME NEITHER!" laughed Tsukune. "I NEVER THOUGHT WE'D ACTUALLY HEAR A JOKE BAND PLAYING SUCH A REDICULOUS SONG!"

"Oh, that is NOT out song!" Tomoko said as the band modernized. "THIS IS!" Just then, she passed the mic to Icarus and the band began their TRUE song…


Until It's Gone
(by Linkin Park)

A fire needs a space to burn
A breath to build a glow
I've heard it said a thousand times
But now I know

That you don't know what you've got
Oh you don't know what you've got
No you don't know what you've got
Until it's gone
Until it's gone
Until it's gone

I thought I kept you safe and sound
I thought I made you strong
But something made me realize
That I was wrong

'Cause finding what you got sometimes
Means finding it alone
And I can finally see your light
When I let go

'Cause you don't know what you've got
Until it's gone
Until it's gone
Until it's gone

Until it's gone
Until it's gone
Until it's gone
Until it's gone
Until it's gone

'Cause you don't know what you've got
Oh you don't know what you've got
No you don't know what you've got
It's your battle to be fought
No you don't know what you've got
'Til it's gone
'Til it's gone
'Til it's gone


After the song, the entire audience remained completely silent, and then burst into cheers (with the exception of the Hououin siblings).


"CHEERS!" Later that afternoon, the victorious New World Discovery Club gathered in the clubroom to celebrate their victory, clanging their orange juice cups together.

"You should've seen the LOOK on those academy faces!" yelled Tomoko.

"Yeah, after all da shit dose hoes and bros went sru, I feel MUCH betta," said the yakuza gangsta.

"Thanks a lot, Icarus-kun," said Sora.

"Oh, no, I could not have done it without all of you helping me," claimed Icarus.

"Sure, Senpai, Prez, Nymph, and Sora were there…but YOU are the star, Icarus," said Tomoko. "But I STILL think MY song would've been much better!" she said as she chibitized.

"TAKE THAT BACK!" Sora held up his karate chop hand.

"EEK!"

"By the way, Tomoko," asked Sugata, "are you going to the bonfire tonight?"

"What's a bonfire?" asked Nymph curiously.

"A ginormous outdoor fire that everyone attends."

"But I need a partner to attend," said Tomoko.

"Then I'LL—"

"—I will go with master," said Icarus quickly, interrupting Sora.

The boys quickly looked at Icarus.

"Damn, Sakurai-chan, you really ARE a licensed hoe!" teased Makoto.

"AM NOT!" Tomoko countered.

"Yeah," said Nymph. "You should take Alpha with you."

"I agree," said Sora. "I think Icarus-kun would make a good partner."

"…Okay then!" said Tomoko happily. "I would LOVE to go with Icarus!"

"…As long as Tomoko is happier with Alpha," thought Nymph. "Then…Then so am I."

End


Cast:

Tsukune Hououin: Yuki Kaji (Japanese); Aaron Dismuke (English)

Yoshiko Hououin: Mie Sonozaki (Japanese); Brittney Karbowski (English)