Enjoy


(Eshiko Sugata's Opening Monologue)

Hello again, everyone. Sugata Eshiko at your service.

Before we begin, I have a very important announcement to make...but be warned, you're probably NOT gonna like it: this chapter, for the time being, will be the LAST chapter of "HLP" to be released.

Why? Because MrWii000 has decided that he has worked on this long enough and will be working on a brand NEW seitenkan series after the next volume of "Freezing" is complete.

Do NOT think that this is the end, though. This doesn't necessarily mean that this series has been cancelled; MrWii000's is just taking a break to work on other projects and may come back if he feels like it (though maybe for just one month).

Thank you all so very much for reading and enjoy.

(End of Eshiko Sugata's Opening Monologue)


It had been one day since the supplementary quiz, in which Tomoko was considered the dumbest out of all contestants.

Today, she was in her pajamas, retrieving the newspaper on top of her mailbox. She opened the newspaper and the headline was: "Sakurai Tomoko: Sorami's Dumbest Resident". And there was a picture of her chibitized and trapped in a pool of dung.

*CRUMPLE*

Tomoko began angrily clutching the paper in anger.

"Hey, check it out, man," said a passing man to his friend. "It's the dumbest kid in town."

"I know," said his friend. "What an idiot."

"Ugh...why did I have to listen to my conscious...?" Tomoko thought to herself while hanging her head in devastation.

But unbeknownst to her, Astraeus was hiding in a nearby garden from behind her, eyeing his prey. "Sakurai Tomoko...today's the day I kill her." Withdrawing his sword and shield, the blond-haired Angeloid boy emerged, creeping up to the perverted girl to—

*GRUMBLE*

*THUD*

"So...hungry..." Astraeus suddenly collapsed.

"Huh? Astraeus!" Tomoko exclaimed as she turned. "What are YOU doing here!"

Looking up at the Downer, Astraeus suddenly began laughing through her teeth. "You're dumber than me!" he began singing in a taunting manner.

"Argh!" Tomoko chibitized in frustration "What did I tell you about saying bullshit like that?" she hissed at the chibitized Angeloid who continued to taunt her.

"You're dumber than me! You're dumber than me! You're dumber than me!" Astraeus continued to sing.

"Oh YEAH..."


And so, the "'Who's the Smartest?' Biggest Idiot Championship" began. Inside her house, Tomoko presented her opponent with an Othello board.

"So, what IS this?" asked the modernized Astraeus.

"This is a game. It's called 'Othello'," explained Tomoko. "Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm...this is your first time playing this game, isn't it? You'll NEVER beat me, and you'll become the Sorami's TRUE 'Dumbest Resident'!"

"So...how do you play?"

"Huh? Oh, it's quite simple. Since you're black, you go first. You put down a disk black-side up next to any of my white disks, then you turn all the white tiles are in a straight line and bounded by the disk just placed and another disk of my color black-side up."

Astraeus placed a disk on the board and flipped over all the necessary white disks black-side up.

"Good, Now it's MY turn." Tomoko placed a white disk on the board and flipped over all the necessary black disks white-side up. "Now it's YOUR turn again."


(60 Turns Later)

"I-I-I don't believe it..." Tomoko stared in shock at the Othello board; all disks were black, meaning Astraeus won.

"HA HAAAAA! You're dumber than me!"

"Oh yeah? Then how about some 'Shougi'!" Tomoko placed a Shogi board out in front of Astraeus and made the first move.

"I...I...I can't read what's on the pieces," Astraeus thought.


By the end of the game, Tomoko had completely surrounded he opponent. "AH HA HA HA HA HA HA! You're dumber than me!" Tomoko sang in victory.

"Dammit!" yelled the chibitized Astraeus. "Alright, let's play table soccer next!"

"Fine! Bring it on!"


"ARGH! I'LL BEAT YOU!"

"NO YOU WON'T!"

Just then, Nymph entered the room, licking a lollipop. "Uh, guys, what does soccer have to do with—"

But Icarus placed his hand on Nymph shoulder and shook his head, prompting the blue-haired Angeloid boy to leave them alone.


Tomoko and Astraeus then began playing a fighting video game, both of them singing, "You're dumber than me!"


Outside, Tomoko and Astraeus played baseball.

"You're dumber than me!" Astraeus sang in a now irritated tone as he threw the baseball at Tomoko.

*WHACK*

"You're dumber than me!" Tomoko sang as she hit the ball with her bat.

*CRASH*

The suddenly flew straight into the window of the house next door.

"TOMO-CHAN!" Sora yelled as he opened his broken window door.


"You're BOTH dumber than the other," Sora yelled as he stood right in front of the two people who broke his window, glaring down at them. "Now QUIT it!"


"Rock. Paper. Scissors. SHOOT!" Tomoko and Astraeus shouted; Tomoko threw paper, while Astraeus threw scissors.

*BOP*

Astraeus hit Tomoko in the head countless times with a giant toy hammer.

*BOP* *BOP* *BOP*

"OW! STOP! YOU'RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO DO IT ONCE!" Tomoko yelled.


Score:

Tomoko: 25
Astraeus: 26

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! You're dumber than me!" Astraeus sang once again. "Alright, let's play 'Old Maid' next!"

"No, I'm done," Tomoko groaned as he stood up. "You win."

Astraeus suddenly modernized as he saw Tomoko head for the table in defeat.

"You wanna stay for dinner?" Tomoko asked.


Later that evening, the New World Discover Club gathered in Tomoko's backyard for dinner.

"Hey, guys. Sorry we're late," Tomoko said as she and Astraeus joined the group.

"Everything's ready, Master," said Icarus.

"Well then, here's to Sakurai-chan," Makoto announced, "'Sorami's Dumbest Resident'!"

"Itadakimasu!" yelled the entire group...even Tomoko in reluctance.

During the meal, Astraeus spent most of his time just standing around and feeling lonely.

*PAT* *RUB*

Just then, Icarus began patting and rub the top of his head.

"I-Icarus-senpai..." Astraeus whispered.

"Hey, Astraeus," said Tomoko, if you even fell hungry again, you can always stop by my house. Okay?"

Astraeus became surprised by the black-haired girl's offer. "Y...You're dumber than me!"

*SNATCH*

*CHOP*

Just then, he snatched some food off of Tomoko's plate and ate it.

"HEY!" Tomoko yelled.

"You're dumber than me!" Astraeus yelled again.

*SNATCH*

*CHOP*

Angered, Tomoko snatched some food off of Astraeus' plate and ate it in revenge. "You're dumber than me!"

"You're dumber than me!"

And so, another battle began between the two idiots began.

End of Volume 7


Unfortunately, "HLP" will be going on an indefinite hiatus for the time being. I MIGHT return to it sometime later, but until then...

Later