Chapter 3: Crush

After I've retained my bag from Wakabe and Macao's table, I sit down at the temporary bar. Putting Misty out of my mind is easier said than done and I haven't yet thought of the first step in the plan to hire Gray for my quest. Long story short: I'm all over the place.

Mira suddenly appears behind the bar. 'Can I get you anything?'

I always get a bit nervous when someone that pretty speaks to me, so I just nod. Then I realize I actually have to order. 'Sorry. Tea is fine.'

She lifts an eyebrow. 'Are you OK?'

I take a quick breath and force a smile. Time to change the subject. 'Yeah, just tired. Uhm, do you perhaps know where Gr-...Natsu might be?'

She looks at me for a few seconds and narrows her eyes. 'Do I sense a little crush over here?'

'Oh, definitely not,' I say, and it's easy to sound nonchalant because I don't have to lie about not having a crush on Natsu. 'It's just so quiet around here.'

Mirajane keeps scanning me, but eventually concludes she won't get much more out of me. 'He's at a resort in Akane Beach, with Gray, Erza, Lucy and Happy. It was a gift from Loke...oh, I guess you haven't heard about Loke yet. Did you know he was a Celestial Spirit this whole time?'

'Ah, well, I always thought he smelled weird. I guess that explains it.'

Mirajane looks at me with a strange smile and steps away to boil some water. Maybe that was a weird thing to say. This is why my only friend is Misty. Or was.

I fold my arms on the counter and lean my head on top of them. My first idea was to just stay at the hall and wait for Gray, but I don't feel like doing that anymore. I want to disappear.

Because I know that without Misty, I'm the weakest mage in the history of Fairy Tail. I have no talent for magic whatsoever. Most people who make a living with magic are born with a certain notion or advantage and figure out pretty early on what magic they would be good at and should make their specialty.

Not me. I wandered out of a cursed forest when I was seven. I might as well be cursed myself. The people in Bordertown certainly thought so.

I should just go back there, after having treated Misty so horrible today.

I force myself to sit up. No. No more thinking about Mystogan. What's done is done. Focus on the quest.

Immediately, I feel my stomach flutter.

The last time Gray was aware of my existence was a few months ago. I was doing some reading at the guildhall and sitting around, waiting for the next big quest with Misty. Of course, Natsu started a brawl and Gray got involved. It ended with Erza slamming both of them into the floorboards and then Elfman said destroying guild property wasn't very 'manly' and then the brawl started again and it ended with everyone deciding to either get drunk on beer or on food. Gray chose the first and ended up falling asleep underneath a table, only wearing underwear. He looked very sweet, with his knees pulled up and his hair all fuzzy.

Anyway, Mirajane wanted to close up and everyone left, but Gray was still under the table. So naturally, I volunteered to take him to the boy's dorm. No one found that weird, and even if they did they were too busy with not falling over to say anything.

So I gathered my stuff and pulled Gray from under the table. He woke up just enough for me to help him to his feet, put his clothes back on and have him throw an arm over my shoulder, so he could lean on me for support. I'd never been this close to him, I felt so weak in the knees I nearly dropped him. At one point, his head rolled onto my shoulder, and his hair tickled my jaw and all I could smell were pine trees. I imagined the two of us walking through a forest in the snow, thick fur coats, red cheeks, holding each other's gloved hands.

He breathed against my chest, murmured some unintelligible stuff and at one time even snuggled his face in my shirt as if it were a pillow. I imagined the two of us waking up in bed together one summer morning, him leaning over to kiss me, the door opening and our kids jumping onto the bed, asking if they could have pancakes for breakfast.

I don't even want kids.

Somehow we made it to the boy's dorm of Fairy Hills, without me dropping Gray. Based on his body odor I was able to guess which room was his and found the key in one of the pockets of his pants. He was awake enough by now to lean against the wall by himself while I unlocked the door, and then I helped him inside.

Aside from the pieces of clothing everywhere, his room was tidy. There was nothing on the walls and other than a bed and a closet there wasn't any furniture. It was about what I expected from him: what he needs is there, the rest is unnecessary.

After I'd recovered from realizing I was actually in his lodgings, I softly let him down on the bed. I hesitated, and then pulled the blanket over him, tucking him in.

I allowed myself to be creepy and stood beside the bed to stare at him for a few more seconds, and then turned around to leave.

But before I could take a step, he grabbed my hand. His was so cold I almost thought he'd turned me into ice. I literally felt frozen. And hot at the same time.

'Hey,' I heard him say in a raspy voice. I slowly turned around. He sat up straight in the bed, a drunken glaze over his eyes. I knew then he probably wouldn't remember any of this the next day, which kept me from running away immediately.

'Thanks for taking me home,' he said.

I opened my mouth to say something about it being my pleasure, but decided that sounded weird and wanted instead to say something about it not being a problem, but he'd already fallen asleep by then. So I tucked him in again and left.

That was the second time we ever spoke. And I can't have it be the last.

I know it's silly. In the two years I've known Gray, he's displayed zero interest in romantics, even though he could get any girl he wants. All he does is work and fight with Natsu. When I put it like that it makes you wonder why the hell I want to pursue him.

I just do.

That's why I need to get him alone, without any distractions and find out if we're as compatible as I think we are.

I awake from my daydream when Mirajane places a cup of tea in front of me.

'Thinking about Natsu?' she says teasingly. I don't know how to respond and just wrap my hands around the steaming cup. Perhaps it's best if she thinks that, instead of knowing the truth.

'You know,' she continues, 'I could set you two up if you want. A little candlelight dinner in a private place. Who knows what might happen?'

Just imagining it makes me want to vomit and it takes all the patience I have (which isn't much) to laugh. 'Haha, no thanks. I'll just…figure something out.'

Yes, very convincing, Rain.

Mirajane nods and gives me a big conspiracy-like wink. I'm guessing this isn't over.

Luckily, she changes the subject. 'I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you do look tired. Maybe you should consider going to a resort yourself.'

I look at my tea and think it over. A resort seems like a fun and informal place to ask someone for hire. And maybe get to know certain people better, in a place that's made for relaxing and less for brawling and getting drunk.

'Yeah,' I say then, 'that's not a bad idea actually.'

Then I see her face. She did not change the subject at all. I forgot Natsu is at the resort as well.

She grabs a small notepad and a pen from her apron and starts writing frantically. 'I'll give you the address.'

'Oh,' I say, and I feel like squeezing the teacup to pieces, 'really, there's no need-'

She's already ripped the paper and is shoving it towards me. 'Let me know how it goes!'

Someone at a table is waving her over and she walks away from the counter. I panic.

'Hey, please don't tell anyone about this.'

'I won't!' she says over her shoulder, but I don't trust it one bit. I look at what she's written down on the paper. Aside from the address, she's drawn a heart with on one side 'N' and the other 'R'. I groan.