Chapter Four: All I Want
"That may be a lie, but that doesn't mean it's not true." - Sean "Jacksepticeye" McLoughlin
When we head back inside, I am bombarded with questions. How old are you? Sixteen. How can you be both dead and alive? I have no idea. Is Mira that way too? No. I'm sorry, but no. That one had caused a mournful pause before the questions started up again.
I try my best to shove all my ghost-knowledge into their heads. There isn't a snowball's chance in hell of them understanding any of it, but I give them my cell number and tell them to call me any time. Until the school year starts. Needless to say, my schedule will be a bit more restricted then.
Eventually, we get to the question I knew was coming: how did I become a ghost? It was Mira who asked. She is smooshed between her parents on the couch, with Yippy dozing on her lap now that the trouble has passed. Everyone who isn't a dog is leaning forward with honest curiosity, oblivious of how…uncomfortable Mira's question makes me.
It's risky to ask how a spirit died. Some had full lives and natural deaths and will happily tell you so. Some, like me, had violent, painful experiences that they don't like to discuss, with some lashing out at the memories. And of course, you have everything in between. I would never get mad at someone for being curious, but that doesn't mean I enjoyed feeling my life drain from my body.
Under normal circumstances, I would warn the person of how dangerous it is to ask a ghost about their death, and I'd leave it at that. It always shuts them up. But, these guys know my secret now. These circumstances are anything but normal.
From where I stand in front of the TV, my human body takes a deep breath in preparation. I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans and meet no one's eyes. "I'll give you the short version. My parents are…scientists. One day, I…messed around with this invention they thought didn't work. And, bippity boppity boo, I can do this." I raise my arms and switch back to ghost-form, much to the amazement of the parents. Mira just nods, having seen this a few times before. Yippy opens one eye, finds nothing of interest, and goes back to sleep. "But, for future reference, don't ever ask a ghost how they died. Not everyone will be as forthcoming, if you know what I mean."
Mira flinches and blushes. "Uh, duly noted."
"Who else knows about this?" Andrew asks, waving his hand in my direction.
"My best friends know. My sister, too. It's not really a secret among ghosts, but that's it as far as humans go."
Natalie frowns. "What about your parents?" Mira and I stiffen at that. Yippy lifts his head up, sensing the tension. "You said it was one of their inventions, right? Surely they must know what happened."
Andrew grunts in agreement. Mira is suddenly very interested in the creature on her lap. I'm contemplating turning invisible.
But…I've come this far. I rub the back of my neck. "Um…I might have left out a few details. See, my folks study ghosts, and…"
"Well," Natalie interrupts, "all the more reason to tell them, right?"
The words stick in my throat. Mira helps me out. "His parents hunt ghosts," she says somberly.
Natalie opens her mouth, but no sound comes out.
Andrew raises an eyebrow at me. "And by 'hunt,' you mean…?"
"I mean…" I deepen my voice to sound like my dad. "We have to destroy that ghost." Then, I make my voice higher to imitate my mom. "But first, we have to dissect the ghost." Then, I deepen it again. "And then, we can tear it apart, molecule by molecule!" They stare at me in horror. I might have said too much. I clear my throat and speak normally. "So, uh, yeah. Kind of a secret."
Natalie points at me. "Are you safe?" she asks urgently. "In your house, I mean. Are you safe there?"
No. Sometimes? It depends? My heart shudders. "I'm safe enough."
She gives me that stern parent-look. "Safe enough is not the same thing as safe, Danny."
"Agreed," Andrew says with the same look. He leans forward. "You say your parents hunt ghosts. Be honest with me, son. Have you ever been one of those ghosts?" I think my ice powers have taken over my body. My face must say it all, because Andrew straightens and says, "Should you really be staying there?"
"Guys," Mira interjects, though I can see that she's just as concerned, "I already asked him about this. He's got it handled, and his sister helps him out."
I nod, crossing my arms and pretending that I'm not worried about it. "Admittedly, it was rough when I first got my powers. But, once I had better control over them, it wasn't so bad." It was more manageable at least. "Please don't worry about me. It's not like my parents treat me badly as Fenton. Everything is fine on my end." No one looks convinced, not even the chihuahua. I fling my arms out. "Can we just drop this? I'm fine, the bad guy's been dealt with, and you're all one big happy family again." A little bitterness snuck into my voice at that. I hope they didn't notice. I recross my arms and bend my knees back, hovering. "Let's all just chill for a while, okay?" They just keep staring at me, but it's not with concern anymore. It's confusion and maybe fear. "What's wrong?"
"It's your eyes, dude," Mira says.
I huff a relieved laugh. "Oh, the glowing? Yeah, it gets brighter when I'm upset. Not that I'm upset now," I add quickly. "I am a-okay, as we have established."
"Um, they weren't-" Mira starts.
But, her mom claps her hands. "Okay. Clearly, we have a lot to learn about ghosts."
"But, Danny's right about one thing," Andrew says. "We need a break. I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel like my head's going to explode."
"I could make dinner," Mira suggests. "It's not that early."
Yippy barks and hops off his owner's lap, fully awake at the mention of dinner.
Natalie looks gratefully at her daughter. "Yes, you go do that. Good idea." When Andrew starts to whine about how he wanted to use the grill, his wife cuts him off. "Danny, why don't you give her a hand while we process everything."
She spoke quickly and with a forced smile. She's trying to get me and Mira out of the room. My team and I have done that sort of thing more than once when I had to get away to go ghost.
Natalie nudges her husband's arm, and he clears his throat, playing along. "Um, yes," he stammers. He rubs his stomach. "I guess we haven't eaten much today since-" He stops abruptly. He doesn't need to finish.
Luckily, Mira doesn't notice. She shoots into the air in excitement. "Alright! What's for dinner? What are we hungry for?"
Her parents are momentarily thrown off by her sudden enthusiasm. Her mom recovers first. "Um, Danny mentioned burgers-"
"Okay!"
Mira zooms into the kitchen, and Yippy runs after her, barking up a storm. Her parents stare after her, stunned by the sudden change in mood. I swallow a chuckle, having a pretty good idea of what just happened.
"Remind me to tell you guys about a little thing known as an Obsession," I say before flying after Mira.
As soon as I'm out of the parents' line of sight, I turn invisible and float back into the living room. I know I shouldn't eavesdrop, but I get the feeling that Mira's parents are going to talk about her. I want to be sure they really are as accepting as they say. From where I hover by the couch, I watch the couple speak animatedly in hushed tones.
"But, Andrew-" Natalie says.
"We can't do that, Natalie," Andrew argues.
Natalie tosses her hand in disbelief. "Andrew, I know you don't like this anymore than I do!"
Oh no. They are talking about Mira. I should have known this wouldn't be that easy!
Then, Natalie asks, "Do you want something to happen to that boy?"
That boy? Are they talking about me?
"Of course not," Andrew says sternly. "But, we can't just take him in, Natalie."
What?
"You heard what he said about his parents," Natalie goes on. "He all but implied that they hunt him down on a regular basis! He mentioned dissection, Andrew! He is a child. He's even younger than Mira. And, who knows how long he's been a-a half-y or whatever he is!"
Andrew rests a calming hand on her shoulder. "He also said that his friends and his sister know his secret. And, that his parents are good to him."
"Yeah, when he's not floating!"
"Look. We have his phone number, and he has ours. He may be a child, but he is old enough to decide how much he can handle. We can be a part of his support system, but we cannot just uproot his life. I hate this as much as you do. You're right about that. But, we cannot ask him to move in just because we want to."
I have to leave the room before I start crying. They want me to live with them. I'm a ghost, yet these total strangers are concerned about my safety. Mira, I get; she's their kid, after all. But, why me? I'm nobody to these guys!
I picture my parents. My mother's kind violet eyes and how she goes into beast-mode when someone's in danger. My father's boundless energy and passion for everything from working in the lab to eating fudge. What if my situation was like Mira's? What if someone overshadowed a driver and ran me over? If I turned up on our doorstep as a full-ghost, how would they react? I know Jazz would hold me and tell me she still loves me, but what about our parents? Would they do the same, or would they rip me to shreds because they think death removed all traces of my humanity?
My phone vibrates. I pull it out and see that it's another call from home. I fly up to the roof to take it, praying that it's Jazz. I don't know if I can talk to Mom or Dad right now.
But because I have that kind of luck, it's Dad's voice on the other line. "Hey there, Danno. Still at the hospital, I take it?"
His tone is jovial, but there's an edge to it. He's worried about me, and that has me teetering on the edge. If he knew he was talking to Danny Phantom, how would he sound? I remember now that I'm in ghost-form. My father is having a conversation with my alter ego that doesn't involve him screaming threats and obscenities at me. Before I can stop it, a sob erupts from my throat, knocking loose two of those damn green tears. I cover my mouth with my free hand before I can make any other worrisome noises.
"Oh." Dad's voice is now completely subdued. "Ah, son, I'm sorry."
Right. My cover story. Now he thinks my friend died. He isn't wrong.
"Where are you?"
"Huh?"
"Where are you, son? I'll come pick you up."
I curl my hand into a fist and bite the knuckle of my index finger, a habit that seems to be appearing a lot today.
"I'll even obey all the traffic laws while you're with me. Scout's honor."
A watery laugh escapes me. "When were you a scout?"
"Hey, you don't know everything about me," he says, genuinely offended. "I'll have you know that I was the most decorated Boy Scout in my troop."
I sniff and swipe my sleeve under my nose. "Were you, now?"
"Well, maybe not the most decorated. But, boy, did I make a mean smore!"
I let out a real laugh at that. As brief as it is, it feels pretty good. I brush my thumb under my eyes. "Your smores are pretty good."
"You're darn right, they are!" I picture him standing there with his free hand on his hip, puffing out his chest in that way that juts out his round belly. Then, he sobers. "But, seriously, Danny. Tell me what hospital you're at, and I'll come get you."
"Oh, it's out of town." Way out of town. "I-it might be dark by the time we get home."
There's a pause. Then, "Daniel James Fenton, I don't care if we get home at eight o'clock at night or two o'clock in the morning. No son of mine is going to be alone after losing his friend."
I swallow another sob. "Oh, I-I'm not alone." God, I hate how shaky my voice is. But, at least Dad doesn't have a reason to question it. "Um, M-Mira's parents showed up before she… Um, they s-said I could spend the night with them. They'll bring me home tomorrow." The lie comes so easily that I barely register it until it's out of my mouth.
"Ah," Dad says. "Well…I guess that's alright. But, if you change your mind, just say the word and I'll be there with GAV."
The Ghost Assault Vehicle. Because, that's what I want to ride in right now. "Okay. I-I'll probably be home some time in the afternoon."
"Alright. Send Mira's parents my condolences. On behalf of your mother and sister too." When I tell him I will, he adds, "I love you, son."
A fresh tear falls down my cheek. "I love you, too. Tell Mom and Jazz that for me."
"I will."
He hangs up, and I stand there, staring at my blurry, green-tinged cellphone. I have to pull myself together. If I go back inside like this, the Scotts will know something's wrong. They haven't asked me if my parents know where I am. They're probably too overwhelmed to think of it, and I'm grateful. They don't need any more reasons to know-to think that I'm unsafe in my own house.
When I clear my eyes of any remaining ectoplasm, I realize that I have a missed text from Jazz.
How's it going? Asking for the whole team.
"The whole team" meaning Sam, Tucker, and herself. The text is from about the time Levi showed up. I'm surprised she didn't send a follow-up when I didn't respond. I text her back.
Sorry for the wait. Had to kick some butt. Everything's good with Mira. Fill you in tomorrow.
After hitting "Send," I realize that Jazz will probably hear about my conversation with Dad. I start texting again.
Whatever Dad tells you, don't worry. I'll explain when I get home.
Dad must have already told her, because her reply is immediate.
You better.
I sigh and put my phone away. At least I have a few people on both my sides.
Mira initially turned down my offer to help her in the kitchen, but I did get to explain the concept of Obsessions to her. We confirmed that hers is cooking or maybe food in general. When I told her that mine is helping others, she laughed, said it sounded like something out of a kids show, and put me on french fry duty. "Can't have burgers without fries," she said. No argument from me.
As the two of us work together, satisfying our Obsessions in our own ways, we chat about nothing and joke around. After the day we've been having, it's nice to do something mundane together. It's like we're old friends.
Like we're siblings.
I chop the potatoes with a new vigor, like I can cut the thought out of my brain. It feels like a betrayal to Jazz.
Once dinner is ready, everyone sits at the dining room table with their meals. I don't know what Mira put in the burgers, but they smelled amazing while cooking and look so professional next to my attempt at french fries. When I'd seen Mira's confidence in the kitchen, I had been embarrassed by my unevenly cut potatoes. Mira had taken one look at them and said, "Food always knows when you're upset." She'd been so intense that I felt an overwhelming urge to apologize. Before I could, she shrugged and claimed, "Meh. Fries are fries."
I don't think she knew she'd said anything creepy. Obsessions can make you a little weird sometimes. At least Mira's not as bad as that lunch lady ghost. Heh. Maybe I should introduce them. They'd probably get along great.
As I'm about to dig in, I spot the white gloves still on my hands. "Oh, uh, sorry," I say. Everyone looks at me, and my face cools. "I-I forgot I'm still in ghost-form. I'll just change back."
Just as the hot rings appear around my waist, Natalie reaches over to put her hand on my arm. "No, no, sweetie! You don't have to do that." I blink at her and hesitantly release the rings. Natalie lets go of me and straightens with a gentle smile. "Ghost or human, you're still a growing boy who needs to eat."
I chuckle at that. "Okay, Mom."
Her eyes light up, and I realize my mistake. Luckily, Andrew clears his throat, coming to my rescue. "How about we just eat while it's still hot."
Mira claps her hands and rubs them together. "Let's dig in, gang!"
And so, we do. The burger is amazing, nice and juicy with just the right amount of seasoning and a toasted bun that Mira said she'd made the day before. My fries, as lopsided as they are, are crisped to perfection. As much as I love the Nasty Burger, that place has nothing on Mira Scott.
Dinner time itself is…normal. There are two ghosts sitting at the table, and no one cares. It's just a normal dinner with a normal family.
Just for a moment, I let myself picture it. Dad is at one end of the table, going on about some invention as he merrily stuffs his face. Mom is telling him not to talk with his mouth full. Jazz is across from her, rolling her eyes and calmly eating her own meal. And, here I am, sitting across from Dad, eating while in ghost-form. Meanwhile, our dog is plopped down next to me, silently begging for table scraps.
Wait. We don't have a dog.
The illusion breaks. I'm sitting with a family that's not my own, and suddenly this once-delicious meal tastes like cardboard. I eat robotically, trying my best to add to the conversation, hoping that my homesickness doesn't show.
No matter how unsafe my home can be, it's my home. Despite everything, Amity Park is where I belong.
"Are you sure, Danny?" Natalie asks for the third time.
I'd insisted on washing the dishes, and the Scotts are all standing in the kitchen, watching me scrub them down. There's really no reason for me to be in ghost-form right now, but it's kind of nice to do basic human stuff while I'm like this. I want to enjoy it while I still can.
"Look, guys," I say as I turn off the facet. "I'll be the first to admit that my house isn't the safest place for me. But, I love my family so much. And…being here… It makes me miss them."
I don't miss the way Natalie and Andrew glance at each other. When the silence drags on, Yippy gets bored and starts barking just for something to do. I say to him, "Quiet, Yippy. The adults are talking."
I hadn't expected him to listen, but he does.
Mira tosses her hands at her sides. "Well. A hero's work is never done." She grins. "I've always wanted to say that."
Andrew smiles and kisses his daughter's head. Then, he grabs my hand and gives it a hearty shake. "Thank you for all you've done, Danny," he says. "I don't know how we can repay you."
I wish I didn't blush so easily. I pull my hand back. "Come on, man. Just promise you'll call if you need anything. That goes for all of you."
"We will," Andrew says.
Natalie purses her lips. "Hey, this just occurred to me." She points at me. "Where do your parents think you are right now?"
I'd been hoping no one would think to ask. "Oh, they just think I'm spending the day with some friends." That, fortunately, is at least partly true.
Natalie accepts the answer but isn't totally satisfied. "Well, at least let us drive you home. Where do you live, again?"
"Minnesota," I say.
She just stares at me for a second. "Oh." Then, she shrugs and looks at her family. "Road trip?"
Andrew looks like he's considering it, but Mira and I laugh.
"Guys," Mira says, "how do you think we got here? Danny can fly. You've seen him do that."
"And, my current record is a hundred-thirty-six miles per hour," I tell them. I swallow a laugh when their jaws drop. "I think I can get home faster than any car on the planet."
"Can I fly that fast?" Mira asks.
I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe. Though, I'm told that I'm pretty fast by ghost standards." I cross my arms and puff out my chest. "Not that I'm bragging."
Mira groans and rolls her eyes. "You're such a boy."
As if reminding us that he's here, Yippy jumps around my feet and starts barking at me. I laugh and bend down to pick him up. I laugh harder when he starts aggressively licking my face. "Okay, okay, Yippy! I'll miss you too." Once I'm sufficiently covered in drool, I set him down. "Guess I got the doggy seal of approval."
Andrew frowns deeply and rubs his arm. "I guess dogs really do know what they're doing, huh?"
The mood turns sour at that, and I slice my arms through the air. "No. No. We are not blaming ourselves." I flap my hand toward Yippy, who is staring at his owners curiously. "Just give the guy a steak or something and call it even." Yippy barks approvingly. He obviously knows what steak is. "Well, I guess I'll get out of your hair. Thanks for dinner." I rub the back of my neck and look away. "And, for…being so cool about the ghost thing." I narrow my eyes at them. "Remember, big secret. No one can find out. Get it?"
Andrew gives me two thumbs-up. "Got it. It won't leave this house."
"Um, would you mind transforming?" Natalie asks shyly. "I'd like to see your human-self again. Just because."
I smile and change. She and Andrew take in everything from my messy black hair to my red and white sneakers. Right as it's getting awkward, Natalie makes it even more awkward. Before I realize what's happening, she leans in and kisses my cheek. My face heats up.
Mira throws her head in her hands and moans, "Oh my god, Mom." Andrew laughs at her reaction and pats her on the back.
Natalie squeezes my arm. "This doesn't just go one way, you know. If you need anything, anything in the world, just give us a call."
There's a knot in my throat when I reply. "I will." To Mira, I ask. "Walk me out? I wanna talk to you a little more."
"Okay," Mira replies.
I say a last goodbye to her family, and we head for the front door.
Once there, I start to speak, but Mira frowns suddenly. "Wait. Couldn't you have just," she points to the ceiling, "phased through the roof or something?"
Oh, I guess…I could have. "I-I don't know." I gesture to the door. "This just seems like…the thing you do when you say goodbye?"
Mira laughs and shakes her head. "Too bad you can't stick around. You're a lot of fun."
I huff a laugh then sober. "Are you gonna be alright? I can stay a little longer if you need me to. I'm not expected anywhere until tomorrow."
Mira puts her hands in her jean jacket pockets and shrugs. "I think I'll figure it out." She frowns deeper and scratches her head. "Don't know how I'm gonna tell my friends, though. And, what about the rest of the town? I-I can't just hide in my house forever, can I?"
"You don't have to tell them right away," I assure. "You don't have to figure anything out right away. Honestly, I kind of envy you, Mira. When I got my powers, I had to learn pretty quickly how to be a ghost. But, you? You have all the time in the world." I grin. "Though, you seem to be a quick study. Guess it's easier when you don't have actual flesh dragging you down."
She makes this weird open-mouthed smile. "I can't decide if that's funny or not."
I awkwardly rub the back of my neck. "Honestly, neither can I."
She gives me a real smile and a big hug, the latter of which I return twice as tightly. My heart and core pulse in time. We both have misty eyes when we pull away.
Mira flaps her hands at the door. "Now, go back to being a hero, Superman."
"Oh, I-I'm not a hero. I just-"
She pokes her finger in my chest. "If you say you're just a good samaritan, I'm going to zap you."
"Okay, okay," I chuckle. I switch forms. "Call me about anything. Even if you just wanna hang out. Maybe I could show you the Ghost Zone. We could find your lair, and I could show you mine."
Mira grimaces and grabs her jacket. "Um, I don't know if I'm ready for that."
"That's cool," I promise. "Like I said, you can take your time." I open the door. "Good luck."
"You too," she says.
And, off I go.
